Tertius
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Quotes for
Tertius (Character)
from Stardust (2007)

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Stardust (2007)
Bishop: [toasting the princes] To the new King of Stormhold. Whichever of you fine fellows it might be.
[they acknowledge him and sip their grog. The Bishop chokes and collapses forward, dead]
Tertius: Hmm.
[Tertius chortles nervously as they eye each other suspiciously; his eyes suddenly open wide; he chokes and falls forward, dead]
Septimus: [to Primus] You!
[Septimus clutches his throat and chokes, falling backward onto floor; Primus smiles, incredulous, picks up the crown as if to put it on his head. Just as he is about to put it on, Septimus bursts out laughing and rises to his feet]
Septimus: You really thought you were king!
Primus: *You* killed the bishop.
Septimus: No, Primus, I think you'll find that *you* killed the bishop, by drinking out of the wrong cup. Oh look... when you finish wrestling with your conscience, may I suggest you return to your chamber. Leave the quest for the stone to me.

[deleted scene - the ghosts of Secundus, Quartus, and Sextus are standing in the crater next to an unconcious Yvaine]
Secundus: With all due respect to father, that window thing was a rotten trick!
Sextus: Excuse me? At least you had a chance! Quartus murdered me while I was asleep!
Quartus: How many times do I have to tell you? It was Septimus!
[the ghost of Tertius, recently poisoned, appears]
Quartus: [to Tertius] Don't speak - don't say a word! Let me guess; Septimus?
Tertius: [nods]
Sextus: Poison?
Tertius: [shrugs, then notices the stone lying next to Yvaine] The stone!
[tries to pick it up and fails]
Tertius: I can touch it! I can feel it, I just can't *shift* it! It's like it's too heavy...
[looks up at his brothers, tearfully]
Tertius: You look like a bunch of FREAKS!
Secundus: Hold on... there are five of us now! We could do it together!
Quintus: We *tried* it before - it didn't work!
Secundus: But Tertius wasn't here, there were only four of us! Come on!
[all of them gather around the stone and grab it, attempting to lift it - unbeknownst to them, Yvaine sits up]
Tertius, Secundus, Quartus, Sextus, Quintus: Come on... yes, yes... come on!
[all groan and give up]
Tertius, Secundus, Quartus, Sextus, Quintus: No...
[Yvaine sees the stone and goes to pick it up]
Tertius, Secundus, Quartus, Sextus, Quintus: No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no, no! N -
[she picks it up]
Tertius, Secundus, Quartus, Sextus, Quintus: Awww...
[Yvaine fastens it around her neck]
Tertius, Secundus, Quartus, Sextus, Quintus: No! Nononononono! Please! Aw.
Quartus: [sighing] Well done, everyone.
[all of them sigh and collapse - Tertius lies down in Quintus' lap]
Quartus: No, you were right, though - it was definately better with five of us.
[beat]
Quartus: I mean, that's the closest we've come to actually *moving* anything!
[Tertius, in Quintis' lap, looks irritated. Quintus looks down at him]
Quintus: [soothingly] Shhh...