Louis 'Louie' Durante
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Quotes for
Louis 'Louie' Durante (Character)
from Jack (1996)

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Jack (1996)
Louis: Hey you, you shoot hoops?
Jack: Who me?
Louis: No, the 40-year-old kid behind you.

Jack: What happened to Mr. McGee? I just talked to him on the phone.
Louis: I don't know what happened to Mr. McGee. Mr. Powell?
Jack: [pause] He got diarrhea.
Dolores: [disgusted] Diarrhea?
Jack: Yeah, he got diarrhea. And uh, he spewed. Threw up. And he had the squirts. He had diarrhea.
Dolores: Oh boy, that's more than I needed to know.

Louis: [reading his essay to the class] I want to be just like my best friend when I grow up. He's only ten but he looks much older. He's like the perfect grown-up because on the inside, he's still just a kid. He's not afraid to learn things or try things, or to meet new people the way most grown-ups are. It's like he's looking at everything for the first time - because he is. And most grown-ups aren't like that. Most grown-ups just wanna go to work and make money and show off for the neighbors. And more than anything, he knows how to be a great friend, more than most people that look like adults. So I might not know what I wanna be when I grow up, and right now I really don't care. But I do know who I wanna be like. I wanna be like the giant. The big guy. My best friend. Jack. Thank you.

Louis: I kinda haven't done homework since the third grade.
Jack: Whoa, your dog must be pretty full.

Louis: You know what your problem is, Victor? You have Exactly Disease.
Victor: What's that?
Louis: It's when your mouth smells exactly like your butt!

Louis: Hey, I brought Jack. He's right down there.
John-John: You brought the freak?
Louis: He's not a freak.
John-John: You said he was a freak!
Louis: Yeah, I said wrong alright? Get over it. He's cool. He knows how to shoot hoops. And he did me a favor today. Here, check this out. Look what he picked up on the way over.
[pulls out a Penthouse magazine]
John-John: He bought that?
[he reaches for it but Louie pulls it away]
Louis: Eh eh!
John-John: No way.
Louis: Way! Walked right into the store and picked it up. No fear, nothing. My man's the man!
John-John: That is way cool.
Eddie: Wish I was a freak!
Louis: Hey, lay off the freak stuff, alright? Jack's cool. And you gotta let him kick it with us. If he walks, Penthouse walks too.