Elise Elliot
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Quotes for
Elise Elliot (Character)
from The First Wives Club (1996)

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The First Wives Club (1996)
Elise: No, Sean Connery is Monique's boyfriend! He may be three hundred years old, but he's still a stud!

[finding empty liquor bottles in trash]
Brenda: Let's examine the evidence. Look! all bottles and gallon jugs!
Elise: I had guests!
Brenda: Who? Guns N Roses?

Elise: I drink because I am a sensitive and highly strung person.
Brenda: No, that's why your co-stars drink.

Elise: You think that because I'm a movie star I don't have feelings. Well you're wrong. I'm an actress. I've got all of them!

Elise: If only she'd called me. If only I was listed.

Elise: It's the 90s, plastic surgery is like good grooming.

Annie: Let's synchronize our watches.
Brenda: Ooo, just like "Mission: Impossible!"
Elise: Oh, that was a big hit.

Elise: I'm not Monique's Mother!
Maurice: No.
Elise: Angela Lansbury's Monique's Mother!
Maurice: Uh-huh.
Elise: Shelley Winters is Unique's mother!
Maurice: Now that's a good one.
Elise: Sean Connery is Monique's mother!
Maurice: And I'm going to get you some coffee.

Elise: I'm unhappy, Maurice!
Maurice: And I'm going to get you that coffee.

Brenda: I remember your first talk-y.
Elise: Oh yeah, what did you ever win? A pie eating contest? "Best digestion?"

Elise: Annie, you choose. Who's your friend? Me or Brenda?
Brenda: Yeah, for once in your life make a decision? Who's your friend? Some Beverly Hills science project?
Elise: Or a woman with her own aisle at the supermarket?

Annie: What if Elise starts drinking again and then you start sniping away?
Elise: Been there!
Brenda: Done that!

[Elise shows Bill proof that his new girlfriend is only sixteen years old]
Elise: Should have done your homework, Bill! I did. Oh, by the way, here's a copy of her birth certificate.
Bill: Oh, God... I didn't know... oh, God! Wh-what are you going to do?
Elise: Oh, what am I gonna do? Well, for now I'm just going to say the f word... *Felony*.

Elise: And you didn't even invite me to your son's bar mitzvah!
Brenda: I didn't think you would come.
Annie: Yeah, it was in Hebrew!
Brenda: Oh shutup!

Elise: [Drunk] You never even wrote to me!
Annie: [Meekly] You were unlisted...
Elise: And you always talked about me behind my back!
Brenda: Oh, you deserved it!

Elise: You've always been jealous of me, even in college! Because I was blonde and beautiful, and could have any guy I wanted!
Brenda: Could and did! All the senior class and half the faculty!
Elise: It was the sixties.

Brenda: When men know women are a certain age...
Elise: Good bye love.
Brenda: Hello pop-tarts.

Brenda: I'm saying this, with love compassion and the spirit of true sisterhood... you are full of SHIT!
Elise: Whhhaaattt?

Elise: There are only three ages for women in Hollywood - Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy.