Bill Reimers
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Quotes for
Bill Reimers (Character)
from Stakeout (1987)

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Stakeout (1987)
[Reading the police profile on Maria McGuire]
Bill Reimers: And, the moment we've all been waiting for... 313 pounds.
Chris Lecce: 313 pounds? Let me see that.
Bill Reimers: I would imagine that's fully clothed.
Chris Lecce: Oh my God, she could be the house! I hate this job!

[on the phone with Bill while at Maria's place]
Chris Lecce: I'll be about half an hour.
Bill Reimers: Where are my donuts you prick?
Chris Lecce: Maybe more.

Bill Reimers: [seeing Phil and Jack leave, laughing about something] Yeah, I smell a rat, they are up to something. I don't know what it is, but they are up to something. I'm going to find out what it is
[he raises binoculars to his eyes, lowers them, then turns to Chris]
Bill Reimers: Do you know what it is?
Chris Lecce: [casually, with a straight face] Yeah, I think I have a pretty good idea
Chris Lecce: What, what, tell me?
Bill Reimers: [Turns at Chris' gesture, and sees that ink coating the rims of the binoculars is now around each eye, making him look like a racoon] Son of a bitch! Christ, I'm gonna *kill* 'em!

Chris Lecce: [whilst searching Maria's house, Chris holds up a newspaper clipping about Montgomery] Now is no time to be pausing for the news, Chris
Bill Reimers: Now is no time to be pausing for the news, Chris
Chris Lecce: [Chris continues his search]
Chris Lecce: Ah - we have a letter. 'Dear Maria, I hear you are doing okay. I hear you are seeing a couple of guys. Sometimes I get so mad I could wipe out the entire world, and enjoy myself doing it'. Now how could she have dumped a charmer like him?

Bill Reimers: [looking in the refrigerator] I don't believe this. They ate all the food and left dog turds in the fridge.
Chris Lecce: Don't worry. I'll go to the supermarket. What do you want?
Bill Reimers: Truth and justice.
Chris Lecce: Anything else?
Bill Reimers: Doughnuts.
Chris Lecce: Why not? We *are* cops.

Bill Reimers: [during an argument about who killed Kennedy, Bill checks the fridge] Those bastards. They ate everything and left us a dog turd.
Chris Lecce: Ralph Warren left us a dog turd?
Bill Reimers: No, Phil and Jack. I am gonna get those guys. I don't know how, but I will.
Chris Lecce: Give me the keys. I'll go to the supermarket. What do you want?
Bill Reimers: Truth and justice.
Chris Lecce: Anything else?
Bill Reimers: Doughnuts.
Chris Lecce: Why not? We're cops.

Chris Lecce: [Chris and Bill are whiling away the time playing trivia questions] Okay, I got one, name the 16th President
Bill Reimers: I don't know
Chris Lecce: Here's a hint...
Bill Reimers: Abraham Lincoln.
Bill Reimers: [His questions are identifying quotes] Okay, "This was no boating accident!"
Chris Lecce: No idea
Bill Reimers: Man, you suck at this


Another Stakeout (1993)
[Bill Reimers and Chris Lecce call to Archie (a dog) who is chasing a neighbour's cat - Archie takes no notice]
Bill Reimers: Come back here!
Chris Lecce: Oh stick 'em Archie. Eat the cat!

[Gina Garrett asks Bill Reimers to shave his mustache to look younger]
Bill Reimers: I don't think you understand the relationship a man has with his facial hair.

Gina Garrett: So when are we inviting them over for drinks?
Chris Lecce: Uh, Bill.
Bill Reimers: Yes, Chris?
Chris Lecce: Did I just hear you ask me to invite the neighbors over for drinks? The very people we are here to stake out?
Bill Reimers: Why, no Chris, I'd never think of such a thing.
Chris Lecce: Good to know Bill!

Detective Bill Reimers: I've had this moustache for thirteen years. How long have you had yours?

Detective Bill Reimers: [On seeing their suspect] I think we should arrest him for what he's wearing!