David Shayne
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
David Shayne (Character)
from Bullets Over Broadway (1994)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Bullets Over Broadway (1994)
Helen Sinclair: Two martinis please, very dry.
David Shayne: How'd you know what I drank?
Helen Sinclair: Oh, you want one too? Three.

David Shayne: Maybe Olive's got stage fright. Maybe she won't show.
Julian Marx: Not Olive. That dame doesn't have a nerve in her body. I don't think her spinal cord touches her brain.

Sheldon Flender: [bragging] I have never had a play produced. That's right. And I've written one play a year for the past twenty years.
David Shayne: Yes, but that's because you're a genius. And the proof is that both common people and intellectuals find your work completely incoherent. Means you're a genius.

David Shayne: Your taste is exquisite.
Helen Sinclair: [correcting] My taste is superb. My eyes are exquisite.

David Shayne: Suddenly I'm taking suggestions from some strong-arm man with an IQ of minus 50.

Helen Sinclair: No, no, don't speak. Don't speak. Please don't speak. Please don't speak. No. No. No. Go. Go, gentle Scorpio, go. Your Pisces wishes you every happy return.
David Shayne: Just one...
Helen Sinclair: Don't speak.

David Shayne: You're gonna write it?
Cheech: What am I? A fuckin' idiot? They taught me how to read and write in school before I burned it down.
David Shayne: You burned down your school?
Cheech: Yeah, it was Lincoln's birthday. There was nobody there.

David Shayne: You thought my first draft was c-cerebral and tepid?
Helen Sinclair: Only the plot and the dialogue. But this...
David Shayne: Was-was-was there nothing in the original draft that you feel was worth saving?
Helen Sinclair: The stage directions were lucid. Best I've ever seen... and the color of the binder. Good choice.
David Shayne: Thank you. I've always had a flair for stage directions.

David Shayne: I studied playwrighting with every teacher, I read every book...
Cheech: Let me tell you somethin' about teachers. I hate teachers. Those blue-haired bitches used to whack us with rulers. Forget teachers.

Lord Chafee: My tongue is hanging out to present it on the London stage.
David Shayne: London.
Lord Chafee: Look at his face, Helen. You're going to be the toast of Broadway. Why not the West End, hmm?

Helen Sinclair: Make love to me.
David Shayne: Here? Now?
Helen Sinclair: I see no reason to wait.
David Shayne: Jerome Kern is on the other side of the door.
Helen Sinclair: Yes, he's a wonderful composer. You'll have to meet him. Now hang up your pants.

Olive: Why do you have to be so masso... masso...
David Shayne: Masochistic.
Olive: Masochistic? What the does that mean?
David Shayne: It means someone who enjoys pain.
Olive: Enjoys pain? What is she, *retarded*?

Nick: Sorry you guys had to hear that. Some problems with the firm.
David Shayne: Really? What type of firm is it, Nick?
Nick: It's a "don't stick your nose in other people's business and it won't get broken" type of firm.

David Shayne: I've become involved with Helen Sinclair, and I feel terrible. But I can't help myself. She's so charismatic, and she's brilliant and beautiful. I mean, a real artist, and, and we speak the same language.
Sheldon Flender: You're wracked with guilt.
David Shayne: I'm wracked with guilt.
Sheldon Flender: You're wracked with guilt. You are wracked with guilt.
David Shayne: I don't know whether... I can't sleep.
Sheldon Flender: Guilt is petit-bourgeois crap. An artist creates his own moral universe.
David Shayne: I know that. I know...
Sheldon Flender: Well? What is the problem then? I'm gonna give you some advice. The same advice that was given to me many years ago when I had a very similar dilemma.
David Shayne: Similar to mine. To...
Sheldon Flender: Yes. Yes.
David Shayne: What did you do? What?
Sheldon Flender: You gotta do what you gotta do.

Sheldon Flender: You, you, you're all missing the point, the point is I can give pleasure many times a day!
Rita: Oh, now, really Flender, what does quantity got to do with it?
Sheldon Flender: Quantity, quantity affects quality!
David Shayne: Says who?
Sheldon Flender: Karl Marx!
Rita: Oh, so now we're talking economics.
Sheldon Flender: Sex is economics!

David Shayne: I'll have a double anything.