The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
: I am just about at the end of my rope with you. Drum
: Well, then why don't you tie a noose and slip it 'round your head?
: I do not see plays, because I can nap at home for free. And I don't see movies 'cause they're trash, and they got nothin' but naked people in 'em! And I don't read books, 'cause if they're any good, they're gonna make 'em into a miniseries.
: This is it, I've found it, I'm in hell.
: [after knocking Clairee off the bench and pulling some of her hair
] Get your roots done!
: The only reason people are nice to me is because I have more money than God.
: I'm not as sweet as I used to be.
: You are a pig from hell.
: You are too twisted for color TV!
: I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood 40 years!
: My God, you look different. Have you shrunk?
: Yes, Annelle, I pray! Well, I do! There, I said it, I hope you're satisfied. Annelle
: I suspected this all along! Ouiser Boudreaux
: Oh! Well don't you expect me to come to one of your churches or one of those tent-revivals with all those Bible-beaters doin' God-only-knows-what! They'd probably make me eat a live chicken! Annelle
: Not on your first visit! Clairee Belcher
: Very good, Annelle! Spoken like a true smart-ass!
: You know, you would be a much more contented, pleasant person if you would find ways to occupy your time. Ouiser Boudreaux
: I'm pleasant. Damn it! I saw Drum Eatenton this morning at the Piggly Wiggly, and I smiled at the son of a bitch 'fore I couldn't help myself.
: Drum, eat shit and die.
: You are evil, and you must be destroyed. Clairee Belcher
: Mother Nature's taking care of that faster than you could.
: Annelle, take your Bible and shove it where the sun doesn't shine.
: Clairee, this is just a gesture. We're not feedin' Drum until the end of time. Clairee Belcher
: Drum loves pork and beans. Eats 'em with everything. Ouiser Boudreaux
: That explains a lot.
: We are in the house of the Lord! Clairee Belcher
: Oh like she cares. Ousier's never done a religious thing in her life. Ouiser Boudreaux
: Now that is not true. When I was in school, a bunch of my friends and I would dress up as nuns and go bar-hoppin'.
: A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
: The older you get, the sillier you get. Ouiser Boudreaux
: Yeah, well the older you get, the uglier you get.
: And I can also report that a mysterious car is parked in her driveway at least once a week... Ouiser Boudreaux
: There. My secrets out. I'm having an affair with a Mercedes Benz!
: [at same time as his brother
] Hello Miz Ouiser Jonathan Eatenton
: Hello Miz Ouiser. Ouiser Boudreaux
: [Makes a face
] Ugh! Leave me alone!
: Oh Ouiser, Drum would NEVER point a gun at a lady! Ouiser Boudreaux
: Oh! He's a real gentleman! I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he PEES in it!
] I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
: I'm fine! I can jog all the way to Texas and back, but my daughter can't! She never could! Oh God! I am so mad I don't know what to do! I wanna know why! I wanna know *why* Shelby's life is over! I wanna know how that baby will *ever* know how wonderful his mother was! Will he *ever* know what she went through for him! Oh *God* I wanna know *why*? *Why*? Lord, I wish I could understand!
[in a firm tone
: No! No! No! It's not supposed to happen this way! I'm supposed to go first. I've always been ready to go first! I-I don't think I can take this! I-I don't think I can take this! I-I just wanna *hit* somebody 'til they feel as bad as I do! I just wanna hit something! I wanna hit it hard!
[grabs Ouiser by the shoulder and positions her in front of M'Lynn
: Hit this! Go ahead M'Lynn, slap her! Ouiser Boudreaux
: [taken aback and confused
] Are you crazy? Clairee
: Hit her! Ouiser Boudreaux
: Are you *high*, Clairee? Truvy
: [in a frightened tone
] Clairee, have you lost your mind? Clairee
: We'll sell t-shirts sayin' "I SLAPPED OUISER BOUDREAUX!" Hit her! Annelle
: [in a scared tone
] Ms. Clairee, enough! Clairee
: Ouiser, this is your chance to do something for your fellow man! Knock her lights out, M'Lynn! Ouiser Boudreaux
: [snatches away
] Let go o' me! Clairee
: M'Lynn, you just missed the chance of a lifetime! Half o' Chiquapin Parish'd give their eye teeth to take a whack at Ouiser!
: [trying to do "color commentary" by discussing the color of the football uniforms
] ... But I love the top - such a vibrant purple. Bob, would you call this color "grape" or "aubergine'? Ouiser Boudreaux
: SHUT UP! Clairee Belcher
: What? Ouiser Boudreaux
: You're makin' a fool outta yourself, Clairee. Clairee Belcher
: I am not. Ouiser Boudreaux
: This is football. All the people wanna hear about are touchdowns and injuries. They don't give a damn 'bout that grape shit.
: Don't try to get on my good side, Truvy. I no longer have one!
: He is a boil on the butt of humanity!
: What's the matter with you these days, M'Lynn? You got a reindeer up your butt?
: Ouiser you look like hammered shit. Ouiser Boudreaux
: Don't you talk to me like that! Drum
: Oh,I'm sorry you look like regular shit.
: You know you would be a much more contended pleasant person if you would find ways to occupy your time. Ouiser Boudreaux
: I am pleasant! Dammit! I just saw Drum Eatenton this mornin at the Piggly Wiggly and I smiled at the son of a bitch for I couldn't help myself!
: Why do you give all these to me? Ouiser Boudreaux
: Somebody's gotta take em, I hate em, I try not to eat healthy food if I can possibly help it.
: I should have never said that in front of Shelby. Clairee
: Ouiser no one pays any attention to you.
: Anne Boleyn had six fingers. Ouiser Boudreaux
: Who's Anne Berlin? Clairee
: Anne Boleyn. She was one of the six wives of Henry VIII. Ouiser Boudreaux
: I never watch public television. Clairee
: She had six fingers. Ouiser Boudreaux
: What happened to the other four? Clairee
: She had 11 total. Ouiser Boudreaux
: Are you trying to confuse me, Clairee? Clairee
: No. I just want to expose us to a little more culture. And that's not easy to come by in this neck of the woods.