Muriel Heslop
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Quotes for
Muriel Heslop (Character)
from Muriel's Wedding (1994)

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Muriel's Wedding (1994)
Muriel: When I lived in Porpoise Spit, I used to sit in my room for hours and listen to ABBA songs. But since I've met you and moved to Sydney, I haven't listened to one Abba song. That's because my life is as good as an Abba song. It's as good as Dancing Queen.

David: What kind of person marries someone they don't know?
Muriel: You did.
David: I want to win. All my life I've wanted to win.
Muriel: Me too.

Muriel: I can't stay married to you, David. I have to stop lying now. I've told so many lies... I don't love you.
David: I don't love you either, but I think I could like having you around.

Muriel: He said if I ever left him, he would find out who I was living with and shoot them. Then, he'd shoot me, then himself.
Rhonda: Shit, he really loved you, didn't he?

Muriel: Bikkie?
Brice: Maybe after... I mean later.

Muriel: When I lived in Porpoise Spit, no one looked at me. But when I moved to Sydney, Brice asked me out and that proves that I changed and I'm not her anymore.
Rhonda: Her?
Muriel: Muriel! Muriel Heslop. Stupid, fat and useless. I hate her! I'm never going back to being her again! Why can't it be me? Why can't I be the one?

Muriel: Are you black?
David: What?

Nicole: People invite us to parties because they know we have a good time. We're mad.
Janine: Pah-ty, pah-ty, pah-ty.
Nicole: It's our ee-mage.
Muriel: We're mad!

Rhonda: I've seen your book. You've tried on every dress in Sydney!
Muriel: That doesn't mean I'm gonna get married.
Rhonda: Then what DOES it mean?
Muriel: It means I WANT to get married. I've always wanted to get married.

Rhonda: Are you Muriel Heslop?
Muriel: No.
Rhonda: Yes, you are!
Muriel: Why?
Rhonda: I dunno why, you just are.

[last lines]
Muriel, Rhonda: Goodbye, Porpoise Spit!