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: Come on, Tripp. Please, you... you don't understand. Tripp
: You're right. Now, hold on. I don't know what your daily rate is, but that's everything I've got in my wallet.
[handing over $300 to Paula
: There's three hundred dollars. Paula
: Oh, come on, Tripp! Tripp
: It should be good for tonight, especially since we didn't have sex. Paula
: Please, Tripp, let me just explain to you. Tripp
: Get the fuck outta my car.
: [has just agreed to go out to lunch with her the next day
] Hey, wait - tomorrow's Saturday. Paula
] ... Sometimes I eat on Saturday.
: [at the top of a mountain, when Ace appears
] Oh, hey there, Ace. Glad you could make it, man. We thought you went home. Ace
: [dropping to the ground, exhausted
] I fell into a deep, dark crevasse. I was so scared.
: Do you have real feelings? Paula
: Of course I have real feelings! Tripp
: For what? Paula
: For you! And believe me, I did not want that because I had a good life before you. Well, not good... but... it was okay. Well, it... it was empty, actually, but at least I was blissfully unaware of how miserable I was. Whereas now... because of you... I am acutely aware of how completely and totally unhappy I am. Thank you for that.
: I do sleep well at night. Ace
: On a twin bed, with Superman sheets that you've had since you were six. Demo
: As opposed to you, who sleeps in a King-sized bed in your mother's basement. Ace
: It's orthopedic, and I need it. And at least I'm not sponging off my parents so I can afford to get laid on every continent. Demo
: Whoa, whoa... I'm a ramblin' man, I'm a tumble weed, I'm a seeker of truth! And one truth I've learned - a child is a parent's greatest joy, which is why I can't leave my parents' place, because... because they would miss me!
: I just feel really close to you. Tripp
: You ARE really close to me.
: So, where do you see us goin'? Tripp
: Well, tonight, I see us going back to my place.
: [walking in on Tripp and Melissa having sex
] Tripp, as long as you're up, son... Melissa
: Oh! Al
: Oh. Tripp
: Oh, come on, Pop! Al
: Ooo. Tripp
: Whoa, man. Don't you knock? Al
: What? Your mama's... She's snorin' like a rhino. And then this music got started... heh... heh. Oh, hey, you must be Melody. Tripp
: Mm-mm. Melissa
: Melissa. Al
: Oh! It's Melissa! Ha-ha. It's Melissa. Okay. All right. Y'all have a good time. Tripp
: Night, Pop. Melissa
: Huh. Tripp
: Hmm. Melissa
: You live with your parents? Tripp
: Is that a problem? Melissa
: Are you kidding me?
: Point is, my friend, you are afraid of love. Tripp
: Bullshit. No, no, no, man. I'm not afraid of love. I love love. Look, I've had a lot of girlfriends, right? And sometimes I'm the rebound guy; other times, when I get lucky, I'm the explore-new-areas-of-your-sexuality guy; but, every single time, we have fun. Thank you. I have fun, they have fun; it's good for me, it's good for them, and I would argue that it's damn good for civilization as a whole.
: And yet, in America, we're-we're shunned for our lifestyle. Tripp
: When we should be celebrating our lifestyle. We are men who still live at home. Demo
: Yes. Tripp
: We're not here to apologize about who we are, how we do it, or who we live with. Demo
: No! Tripp
: I'm looking around this table, hombres, and I see three winners, huh? And to every one of those out there who sees something different, I say "bring it on," 'cause it's gonna take a stick of dynamite to get me out of my parents' house.
: I'm Paula. Tripp
: I'm Tripp. Paula
: You know, usually I don't sleep with someone on the first date. Tripp
: I don't think this counts as a first date. Paula
: It would be a date if you asked me to have a drink tonight. Tripp
: Mmm. You wanna have a drink tonight? Paula
: Mmm. Can't. How about lunch tomorrow? Tripp
: Sure. Wait. Tomorrow's Saturday. Paula
] Sometimes I eat on Saturday.
: Shut up, dude! Don't help him!
: You're gonna let her walk away? Tripp
: I'm giving her space, Mr. Axelrod. Now, I'm going after her.
: We've been out one time. She's a nice girl, I'm a nice guy, we had fun, and I must tell you, son... nothing is doomed.
: [trying to feed a chipmunk a chocolate bar
] You want a treat from the big city, boy? Demo
: He's not a child, Tripp. Look how peaceful he is. Tripp
: Come here, little boy. You want a little bit of chocolate, baby-boo-boo? Demo
: You're giving him a Power Bar? Tripp
: Everybody loves chocolate. Baby-boo-boo? Demo
: Tripp, he's saying no. Tripp
: Look into my eyes. Demo
: He's saying no, Tripp. Tripp
[chipmunk bites Tripp's hand
: Take it you like Japanese food? Paula
: Oh, I love it. I'm also gonna order huge dessert, drink too much, and maybe talk about my old boyfriends. Tripp
: Yeah? Paula
: Does that intimidate you? Tripp
: Not at all.
: I had a nice time. Tripp
: I did, too. Paula
: Good. Tripp
: I had fun. Paula
: Good. Kit
: [screaming at the bird outside
] SHUT UP! SHUT UP, YOU CRAZY BASTARD BIRD! Paula
: Hey, Kit. Kit
: What? Hi. Can you guys see me? Paula
: Yeah. Tripp
: Yeah. Kit
: Oh, great. Tripp
: What? Paula
: Dinner and a show.
: Good night. Tripp
: Good night.
: I'm so glad you're here. Tripp
: Yeah, of course I am.
[about her dog
: Um, can I have a minute alone with him? Thank you. Tripp
: I'll be right outside. Paula
: [to the Vet
] Ah, thanks, Gretchen. Veterinarian
: Anytime. Paula
: Oh, gosh, Emotional Crisis Day is so critical. I cry, he cries. It totally bonds us. So how long do you think he's going to sleep for?
: So do it. Buy a crummy old boat. Who cares, as long as you're out there. Tripp
: Well, I'm working on it. Thing is, you gotta be ready. I mean, it's a big commitment. And if you're not ready, you just end up, well, a lonely guy with a big boat payment. Paula
: Who says you have to be lonely?
: It's over. She gotta go. Ace
: You're dumping Paula? Demo
: What happened? Tripp
: Same thing that always happens. Everything is going along nice and smooth, we're having a good time, and all of a sudden, out of nowhere - whoap! - she gets serious. I hate to say it, boys, but it is time to take the girl home.
: So, you live with your parents. Tripp
: Mm-hm. Z'hat a problem? Paula
: No. Not for me.
: What are you gonna do now? Tripp
: I don't know. I'm in unchartered waters here, boys.
: And the thing is, Mom, Dad, I've lived upstairs since I was three, and it's been great.
: You're all getting what you wanted. Paula, you don't have to pretend to like me anymore. And, Mom, Dad, you wanted me out of the house. I'm out.
: [to Tripp
] You were bitten by a chuckwalla. That shouldn't have happened. It's a reptile of peace. I have a theory. This isn't the first time that nature's lashed out at you like this. I believe it's because your life is fundamentally at odds with the natural world. Tripp
: Huh? Demo
: Therefore, nature rejects you.
: Dude, did you just drop me from a forty-foot cliff? I mean, you want to talk about a friend, man. You went behind my back and blackmailed your way into getting your girlfriend. Demo
: He's right. Ace
: I'm sorry I dropped you from a cliff. Tripp
: It's okay. Demo
: Granted, he used you, but not out of malice. Look at him. How many chances is he gonna get? He saw a chance for love, Tripp, and he took it, which is exactly what we wanted for you. Tripp
: Am I getting advice from my two loser buddies who still live at home? Ace
: Actually, I own my home. Demo
: What? Tripp
: No, you don't. Ace
: I bought it a couple of years ago from my Mom. That way, she has a place to live and I don't get nailed on the inheritance tax. Demo
: Smart. Tripp
: Wow. Ace
: And Demo, here, has chosen the life of a wanderer. I mean, sure, he technically still lives at home. Demo
: Yeah. Ace
: But his permanent address is in his heart. He's a bum. Demo
: I think what we're trying to say is that the two of us are happy, and we're perfectly functional. Ace
: And you, Tripp, are not.
: Hey, Pop? Al
: Hey! Tripp. What are you doing here? Tripp
: Just came by to get some stuff. What... what are YOU doing? Al
: Feeding my fish. Tripp
: Yeah. I see that. You're naked. In my room. Al
: Well, this is my Naked Room. I mean, it's my house. A man ought to be able to do whatever he wants to do in his own house. Wore a suit for forty years. Tripp
: So now we got forty years of... Al
: No suit. Tripp
: No suit. All right. I'm gonna let you get back to feeding your fish.
: So what do we do now? Paula
: Actually, it's... it's quite simple. You just have to decide. Do you want to spend the rest of your life having fun or do you want to spend it with me? Tripp
: Hmm... Paula
: Shut up! Not everything you say is perfect. Tripp
: We can have a LITTLE bit of fun, can't we? Huh?
: All right, assuming that pretending to own a yacht was a brilliant, romantic yet ultimately flawed idea, how do you see the rest of the day playing out? Paula
: I don't know. I'm so hungry, I can't think. Seagulls ate my lunch. Tripp
: What if I took you to a restaurant? Paula
: Are you gonna pretend to own it? Tripp
: No. All the restaurants I own are in Europe.
: Let's go shoot some strangers, huh?