Claire Fisher
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Quotes for
Claire Fisher (Character)
from "Six Feet Under" (2001)

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"Six Feet Under: Everyone's Waiting (#5.12)" (2005)
Claire: [leaving the funeral home to move to New York] Oh, I will take a picture of everyone.
Claire: [as a ghost] You can't take a picture of this. It's already gone.

George Sibley: [Making a toast] To Nate.
David: To Nate.
Bettina: To Nate.
Claire: To Nate.
Officer Keith Charles: To Nate.
Ruth: To my firstborn.
Anthony: To Uncle Nate.
Durrell: Yeah, to Uncle Nate.
Brenda: [to Maya] Can you say "To Daddy"?
Maya Fisher: To Daddy!
Brenda: To Nate.

Claire: I feel like I'm trapped underwater.

Claire: [leaving the funeral home to move to New York] Mom.
Ruth: You gave me life. My sweet baby girl... Don't let them work you too hard at you new job.
Claire: I won't, Mom. I really hope you can come and visit.
Ruth: I'll try.
Ruth: [hugs Claire] Oh, Clarie, I pray you'll be filled with hope for as long as you possibly can.
Claire: Thank you for everything and thank you for giving me life.
Ruth: You gave me life.
Claire: Oh my, God, I don't wanna go!

"Six Feet Under: The Will (#1.2)" (2001)
Claire Fisher: Great. So I get nothing.
Ruth Fisher: You get an education, Claire, something not all people are privileged to.
Claire Fisher: Well, what if I don't want to go to college?
Attorney: Nowadays college is a necessity in life not only to succeed, but to survive.
Claire Fisher: Spare me the tough-love rationalization, just bottom-line it, please.
Attorney: If you choose not to go to college, the money will be available to you when you're 25.
Claire Fisher: It's like blackmail from beyond the grave.

Claire: I want to join the Marines and learn to kill, kill, kill!

Claire Fisher: News flash: other people exist!

Claire Fisher: Don't your skanks need to be walked?

"Six Feet Under: I'm Sorry, I'm Lost (#3.13)" (2003)
Claire Fisher: [in the afterlife, sees Gabe Dimas playing frisbee with his brother] Is he dead?
Nathaniel Fisher: I don't know. This is your thing.

Lisa Kimmel Fisher: [Claire enters an afterlife church to find her there] Claire! Are you just visiting?
Claire Fisher: Of course.
Lisa Kimmel Fisher: [relieved] Good.
[Claire sees next to her a baby: her unborn son]
Lisa Kimmel Fisher: I promise I'll take good care of him.

Claire Fisher: Are you mad that Mom's going to marry George?
Nathaniel Fisher: Nah. That's you.

Claire Fisher: Do you think you could give me a ride? I have to go get an abortion.
Brenda Chenowith: Sure.

"Six Feet Under: Singing for Our Lives (#5.8)" (2005)
Claire: So how have you been?
Russell Corwin: I've been good. Been really really good. My work has gone to some amazing places since I got hit by a car.

Ruth Fisher: I think I've already made a mess of it. I don't know why I try and cut my own hair.
Claire: Mom, pamper yourself. Go to a salon. It's not like we're living on the prairie.

Ted Fairwell: Did you meet Claire?
Lauderbach: No. Hey, I'm Lauderbach.
Ted Fairwell: Thanks. Claire here is just visiting. She's actually the biggest soap star in all of Holland.
Lauderbach: Cool.
Lauderbach: Welcome to America.
Claire: Danke.

"Six Feet Under: Terror Starts at Home (#4.6)" (2004)
Edie, Claire, Anita Miller, Russell Corwin, Jimmy: [All stoned and chanting, with Edie and Claire sharing candy eyes] I need you so much closer...

Claire: [stoned, having just written "Terror Starts At Home" on the wall] It's like, how many evildoers do you have to kill before you become one yourself?

David Fisher: I forgot to pray. Can you believe it? I totally forgot to pray.
Claire: That's OK. God saved you anyway, right?

"Six Feet Under: Familia (#1.4)" (2001)
Claire: [of home] Better than a Turkish prison - most days.

Nate: Claire, are you ok?
Claire: [long pause] No.
Nate: [concerned] Well, do you wanna talk about it?
Claire: Sure, my pimp's threatening to beat me up cuz I can't turn enough tricks... What's worse is, he's threatening to take away my smack, it's hell...!...
Nate: Why do you always have to be such a bitch?
Claire: Why d'you have to naturally assume I'm in trouble? Like you guys are such shining examples. Jesus!

Ruth Fisher: I have to ask you something.
Claire: OK.
Ruth Fisher: You promise to give me an honest answer?
Claire: Maybe.
Ruth Fisher: Did you set that fire?
Claire: No, Mom, I would never do anything like that.
[Ruth looks relieved]
Claire: I may have swiped that foot, though.

"Six Feet Under: Coming and Going (#4.8)" (2004)
David Fisher: I have to get control of myself.
Claire Fisher: No, David, if you were any more controlled, you'd be a sculpture. You know what? Last night I had a humiliating homosexual experience of my own.
David Fisher: Seriously? What happened?
Claire Fisher: Not much. I never even went down on her.
David Fisher: You can stop there.

Claire Fisher: I wish I was gay.
David Fisher: Ohh, no.
Claire Fisher: Well, then I wouldn't have to deal with unfamiliar sex organs!
David Fisher: They're all unfamiliar unless they're yours.

"Six Feet Under: It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year (#2.8)" (2002)
Claire: Okay, if you were a gay mortician, what would you want for Christmas?
Toby: Um... a new life?

Ruth Fisher: Well, when are you going to invite him? I need to know how many yams to buy.
Claire: Look - if he's coming, I'll tell him to bring his own yam.

"Six Feet Under: The Foot (#1.3)" (2001)
Keith Charles: Most guys I meet, they kinda just want me to be one thing.
Claire Fisher: What? Like, big black sex cop?

Claire Fisher: I was following him home to get it back. When I saw him toss it. Now I've been here for hours and I can't find it.
Keith Charles: Describe it to me again?
Claire Fisher: It's a foot.

"Six Feet Under: Twilight (#3.12)" (2003)
Claire: Do you think you could give me a ride? I have to go get an abortion.
Brenda: Sure.

Claire: So, what are you guys doing tomorrow?
Nate Fisher: [talking an E note in unison with David] Same old shit.
David Fisher: [talking a lower B note in unison with Nate] Same old shit.

"Six Feet Under: Falling into Place (#4.1)" (2004)
Claire: [Nate enters Fisher's kitchen with a stern and very beaten face] What happened to you?
Nate: Lisa's dead.
David: Ohhhh shit!
Nate: Her body washed up near Carpinteria a few days ago. Some kids found it.
Claire: Fuck.
Nate: It took the lab till yesterday to figure out it was her.
David: Do they know what happened?
Nate: She drowned.
David: She just... drowned?
Nate: That's what they said. No evidence of anything else.
Officer Keith Charles: But she could swim, right?
Nate: Yeah, it just looks like she drowned.
David: God!
Nate: So I have to go to the coroner up there and get her.
David: I'll come with you.
Nate: Thanks.
Claire: Nate, what happened to your face?
Nate: I got it in a fight.
George Sibley: [Ruth and George enter the kitchen] Good morning, morning glories! I hope we didn't keep any of your folks up last night.
[They see Nate]
David: They found Lisa's body. She's dead.
Ruth: Oh Lord! I'm sorry.
[Cuddles Nate]
Nate: So am I. So am I.

Claire: [just after telling Russell she was pregnant by him, but had an abortion] Look, I'm sorry. I didn't...
Russell Corwin: Just give me a second, okay? Just give me a second to get used to the idea of living with this for the rest of my life.
Claire: Are you fucking kidding me?
Russell Corwin: No, I'm not kidding you, Claire! It's fucking sad! It's fucking sad and it's fucked up. I mean, did you cry? Did you?
Claire: [indignant] I cried more than you have ever cried in your whole life.
Russell Corwin: [breaks down] Then give me a fucking second to feel bad about this, okay? Just a motherfucking second!

"Six Feet Under: An Open Book (#1.5)" (2001)
Ruth Fisher: Claire... wake up! We're leaving, pack up!
Claire Fisher: Oh, my God, Mom, I feel like Anne Frank!
Ruth Fisher: If you don't hurry, we'll have to go spinning!
Claire Fisher: Oh, my God!

Claire Fisher: I know stealing a foot is weird. But, hello, living in a house where a foot is available to be stolen is weird.

"Six Feet Under: The Dare (#4.7)" (2004)
Edie: [looking at her own photo taken by Claire] It's so beautiful.
Claire: I know.

Claire: Let's just sleep together!
Edie: Now?
Claire: In a sec. I need to brush my teeth

"Six Feet Under: The Liar and the Whore (#2.11)" (2002)
Ruth Fisher: Claire, are you depressed?
Claire Fisher: I'm not going to even answer that.
Ruth Fisher: Well, whatever you're going through, I hope you're not going to blame me.

"Six Feet Under: The Plan (#2.3)" (2002)
Ruth Fisher: I joined "The Plan".
Claire Fisher: Isn't that like a cult or something?
Nate Fisher: No, it's one of those '70s self-discovery clubs that yell at you and don't let you go to the bathroom for 12 hours, right?
Ruth Fisher: [takes out yogurt cup] I think this will do. All right, I'm leaving you without dinner. I'll be back really late.
Claire Fisher: This whole concept of Mom self-actualizing is making me nauseous.
Nate Fisher: You're sure it's that and not the concept of Mom pissing in a plastic jar?

"Six Feet Under: Timing & Space (#3.7)" (2003)
Claire Fisher: You know, Nate, this isn't "The Matrix". The rest of us that don't have babies - we're real.

"Six Feet Under: Out, Out, Brief Candle (#2.2)" (2002)
Claire Fisher: [Andy grabs her chest] Whoa, you're not on the list of people who get to touch my tits.

"Six Feet Under: In Case of Rapture (#4.2)" (2004)
Claire Fisher: Oh, this is so fucking gross!
David Fisher: What the fuck do you think you're doing?
Claire Fisher: Taking pictures. This is like right out of "The Shining".
David Fisher: This is not cool or legal, stop it!
Claire Fisher: Well, call the Bureau, ass.
David Fisher: This is our family business, Claire, even if I'm the only one in the family who gives a shit anymore.
Claire Fisher: Well, what if you need photos for, like, the insurance company or something?
David Fisher: All right, take some more - but this is not an art project.

"Six Feet Under: Nobody Sleeps (#3.4)" (2003)
Lisa: Nate used to be like that... sometimes you just have to hang in there and wait.
Claire: Wait for what?
Lisa: For them to grow up.
Claire: If I'd known he was going to be such a jerk I never would have slept with him in that crematorium.

"Six Feet Under: All Alone (#5.10)" (2005)
Nate: [crying] Kurt Cobain killed himself today. He was just too pure for this world.
Young Claire: Well, his music will live on, right?
Nate: Yeah.

"Six Feet Under: I'll Take You (#2.12)" (2002)
Ruth Fisher: I would like to go on record as saying I am in full support of you going to art school.
Claire Fisher: Consider it recorded. But I'm just taking a tour. Let's not get our panties in a wad over it.

"Six Feet Under: Ecotone (#5.9)" (2005)
Claire Fisher: She could still show up for her own son's coma.

"Six Feet Under: Static (#5.11)" (2005)
Claire Fisher: I'm *not* drunk.
Kirsten: It seems like you are.
Claire Fisher: I'm not.
Kirsten: Claire, you fell asleep at your desk this morning, twice, and I can smell it.
Claire Fisher: You can't smell vodka.
Kirsten: I can.
Claire Fisher: Anyway, you're being a little fucking bitch.
Kirsten: Alright, Claire, we're all really sorry that your brother died.
Claire Fisher: Really?
Kirsten: Yeah, really, but you've been drunk or high at work, like, every day this week and it's starting to scare people. I mean, I've told them all to give you a break, but ...
Claire Fisher: Well this doesn't feel like much of a fucking break... 'Kirsten', being followed into the bathroom and lectured at by some school teacher.
Kirsten: Just go home for the day and sleep it off, okay? I won't tell.
Claire Fisher: You won't tell?
Kirsten: No.
Claire Fisher: Who won't you 'tell?'
Kirsten: Human Resources.
Claire Fisher: If you wanna fucking tell...
Kirsten: Alright, I'll tell Human Resources!
Claire Fisher: Goddammit, go! Tell! Tell! Tell!
Kirsten: Okay! I am wicked pissed! You are gonna be so fired!
Claire Fisher: Yeah, well, I'm fucking Ted.
Kirsten: way.
Claire Fisher: Way.
Kirsten: Marianne and Johnny ...
Claire Fisher: Didn't wanna hurt your feelings. Sorry.