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: [leaving the funeral home to move to New York
] Oh, I will take a picture of everyone. Claire
: [as a ghost
] You can't take a picture of this. It's already gone.
: [Making a toast
] To Nate. David
: To Nate. Bettina
: To Nate. Claire
: To Nate. Officer Keith Charles
: To Nate. Ruth
: To my firstborn. Anthony
: To Uncle Nate. Durrell
: Yeah, to Uncle Nate. Brenda
: [to Maya
] Can you say "To Daddy"? Maya Fisher
: To Daddy! Brenda
: To Nate.
: I feel like I'm trapped underwater.
: [leaving the funeral home to move to New York
] Mom. Ruth
: You gave me life. My sweet baby girl... Don't let them work you too hard at you new job. Claire
: I won't, Mom. I really hope you can come and visit. Ruth
: I'll try. Ruth
: [hugs Claire
] Oh, Clarie, I pray you'll be filled with hope for as long as you possibly can. Claire
: Thank you for everything and thank you for giving me life. Ruth
: You gave me life. Claire
: Oh my, God, I don't wanna go!
: Great. So I get nothing. Ruth Fisher
: You get an education, Claire, something not all people are privileged to. Claire Fisher
: Well, what if I don't want to go to college? Attorney
: Nowadays college is a necessity in life not only to succeed, but to survive. Claire Fisher
: Spare me the tough-love rationalization, just bottom-line it, please. Attorney
: If you choose not to go to college, the money will be available to you when you're 25. Claire Fisher
: It's like blackmail from beyond the grave.
: I want to join the Marines and learn to kill, kill, kill!
: News flash: other people exist!
: Don't your skanks need to be walked?
: [in the afterlife, sees Gabe Dimas playing frisbee with his brother
] Is he dead? Nathaniel Fisher
: I don't know. This is your thing.
Lisa Kimmel Fisher
: [Claire enters an afterlife church to find her there
] Claire! Are you just visiting? Claire Fisher
: Of course. Lisa Kimmel Fisher
[Claire sees next to her a baby: her unborn son
] Lisa Kimmel Fisher
: I promise I'll take good care of him.
: Are you mad that Mom's going to marry George? Nathaniel Fisher
: Nah. That's you.
: Do you think you could give me a ride? I have to go get an abortion. Brenda Chenowith
: So how have you been? Russell Corwin
: I've been good. Been really really good. My work has gone to some amazing places since I got hit by a car.
: I think I've already made a mess of it. I don't know why I try and cut my own hair. Claire
: Mom, pamper yourself. Go to a salon. It's not like we're living on the prairie.
: Did you meet Claire? Lauderbach
: No. Hey, I'm Lauderbach. Ted Fairwell
: Thanks. Claire here is just visiting. She's actually the biggest soap star in all of Holland. Lauderbach
: Welcome to America. Claire
, Anita Miller
, Russell Corwin
: [All stoned and chanting, with Edie and Claire sharing candy eyes
] I need you so much closer...
: [stoned, having just written "Terror Starts At Home" on the wall
] It's like, how many evildoers do you have to kill before you become one yourself?
: I forgot to pray. Can you believe it? I totally forgot to pray. Claire
: That's OK. God saved you anyway, right?
: [of home
] Better than a Turkish prison - most days.
: Claire, are you ok? Claire
: [long pause
] No. Nate
] Well, do you wanna talk about it? Claire
: Sure, my pimp's threatening to beat me up cuz I can't turn enough tricks... What's worse is, he's threatening to take away my smack, it's hell...!...
: Why do you always have to be such a bitch? Claire
: Why d'you have to naturally assume I'm in trouble? Like you guys are such shining examples. Jesus!
: I have to ask you something. Claire
: OK. Ruth Fisher
: You promise to give me an honest answer? Claire
: Maybe. Ruth Fisher
: Did you set that fire? Claire
: No, Mom, I would never do anything like that.
[Ruth looks relieved
: I may have swiped that foot, though.
: I have to get control of myself. Claire Fisher
: No, David, if you were any more controlled, you'd be a sculpture. You know what? Last night I had a humiliating homosexual experience of my own. David Fisher
: Seriously? What happened? Claire Fisher
: Not much. I never even went down on her. David Fisher
: You can stop there.
: I wish I was gay. David Fisher
: Ohh, no. Claire Fisher
: Well, then I wouldn't have to deal with unfamiliar sex organs! David Fisher
: They're all unfamiliar unless they're yours.
: Okay, if you were a gay mortician, what would you want for Christmas? Toby
: Um... a new life?
: Well, when are you going to invite him? I need to know how many yams to buy. Claire
: Look - if he's coming, I'll tell him to bring his own yam.
: Most guys I meet, they kinda just want me to be one thing. Claire Fisher
: What? Like, big black sex cop?
: I was following him home to get it back. When I saw him toss it. Now I've been here for hours and I can't find it. Keith Charles
: Describe it to me again? Claire Fisher
: It's a foot.
: Do you think you could give me a ride? I have to go get an abortion. Brenda
: So, what are you guys doing tomorrow? Nate Fisher
: [talking an E note in unison with David
] Same old shit. David Fisher
: [talking a lower B note in unison with Nate
] Same old shit.
: [Nate enters Fisher's kitchen with a stern and very beaten face
] What happened to you? Nate
: Lisa's dead. David
: Ohhhh shit! Nate
: Her body washed up near Carpinteria a few days ago. Some kids found it. Claire
: Fuck. Nate
: It took the lab till yesterday to figure out it was her. David
: Do they know what happened? Nate
: She drowned. David
: She just... drowned? Nate
: That's what they said. No evidence of anything else. Officer Keith Charles
: But she could swim, right? Nate
: Yeah, it just looks like she drowned. David
: God! Nate
: So I have to go to the coroner up there and get her. David
: I'll come with you. Nate
: Thanks. Claire
: Nate, what happened to your face? Nate
: I got it in a fight. George Sibley
: [Ruth and George enter the kitchen
] Good morning, morning glories! I hope we didn't keep any of your folks up last night.
[They see Nate
: They found Lisa's body. She's dead. Ruth
: Oh Lord! I'm sorry.
: So am I. So am I.
: [just after telling Russell she was pregnant by him, but had an abortion
] Look, I'm sorry. I didn't... Russell Corwin
: Just give me a second, okay? Just give me a second to get used to the idea of living with this for the rest of my life. Claire
: Are you fucking kidding me? Russell Corwin
: No, I'm not kidding you, Claire! It's fucking sad! It's fucking sad and it's fucked up. I mean, did you cry? Did you? Claire
] I cried more than you have ever cried in your whole life. Russell Corwin
: [breaks down
] Then give me a fucking second to feel bad about this, okay? Just a motherfucking second!
: Claire... wake up! We're leaving, pack up! Claire Fisher
: Oh, my God, Mom, I feel like Anne Frank! Ruth Fisher
: If you don't hurry, we'll have to go spinning! Claire Fisher
: Oh, my God!
: I know stealing a foot is weird. But, hello, living in a house where a foot is available to be stolen is weird.
: [looking at her own photo taken by Claire
] It's so beautiful. Claire
: I know.
: Let's just sleep together! Edie
: Now? Claire
: In a sec. I need to brush my teeth
: Claire, are you depressed? Claire Fisher
: I'm not going to even answer that. Ruth Fisher
: Well, whatever you're going through, I hope you're not going to blame me.
: I joined "The Plan". Claire Fisher
: Isn't that like a cult or something? Nate Fisher
: No, it's one of those '70s self-discovery clubs that yell at you and don't let you go to the bathroom for 12 hours, right? Ruth Fisher
: [takes out yogurt cup
] I think this will do. All right, I'm leaving you without dinner. I'll be back really late.
] Claire Fisher
: This whole concept of Mom self-actualizing is making me nauseous. Nate Fisher
: You're sure it's that and not the concept of Mom pissing in a plastic jar?
: You know, Nate, this isn't "The Matrix". The rest of us that don't have babies - we're real.
: [Andy grabs her chest
] Whoa, you're not on the list of people who get to touch my tits.
: Oh, this is so fucking gross! David Fisher
: What the fuck do you think you're doing? Claire Fisher
: Taking pictures. This is like right out of "The Shining". David Fisher
: This is not cool or legal, stop it! Claire Fisher
: Well, call the Bureau, ass. David Fisher
: This is our family business, Claire, even if I'm the only one in the family who gives a shit anymore. Claire Fisher
: Well, what if you need photos for, like, the insurance company or something? David Fisher
: All right, take some more - but this is not an art project.
: Nate used to be like that... sometimes you just have to hang in there and wait. Claire
: Wait for what? Lisa
: For them to grow up. Claire
: If I'd known he was going to be such a jerk I never would have slept with him in that crematorium.
] Kurt Cobain killed himself today. He was just too pure for this world. Young Claire
: Well, his music will live on, right? Nate
: I would like to go on record as saying I am in full support of you going to art school. Claire Fisher
: Consider it recorded. But I'm just taking a tour. Let's not get our panties in a wad over it.
: She could still show up for her own son's coma.
: I'm *not* drunk. Kirsten
: It seems like you are. Claire Fisher
: I'm not. Kirsten
: Claire, you fell asleep at your desk this morning, twice, and I can smell it. Claire Fisher
: You can't smell vodka. Kirsten
: I can. Claire Fisher
: Anyway, you're being a little fucking bitch. Kirsten
: Alright, Claire, we're all really sorry that your brother died. Claire Fisher
: Really? Kirsten
: Yeah, really, but you've been drunk or high at work, like, every day this week and it's starting to scare people. I mean, I've told them all to give you a break, but ... Claire Fisher
: Well this doesn't feel like much of a fucking break... 'Kirsten', being followed into the bathroom and lectured at by some school teacher. Kirsten
: Just go home for the day and sleep it off, okay? I won't tell. Claire Fisher
: You won't tell? Kirsten
: No. Claire Fisher
: Who won't you 'tell?' Kirsten
: Human Resources. Claire Fisher
: If you wanna fucking tell... Kirsten
: Alright, I'll tell Human Resources! Claire Fisher
: Goddammit, go! Tell! Tell! Tell! Kirsten
: Okay! I am wicked pissed! You are gonna be so fired! Claire Fisher
: Yeah, well, I'm fucking Ted. Kirsten
: ...no way. Claire Fisher
: Way. Kirsten
: Marianne and Johnny ... Claire Fisher
: Didn't wanna hurt your feelings. Sorry.