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Greek Chorus Leader
: Don't go any further. I know what you're thinking, Lenny, and forget it! Lenny Weinrib
: I can't forget it; the thought's been put in my head. Chorus
: Oh, cursed fate; certain thoughts are better left unthunk.
: Achilles only had an Achilles heel, I have an entire Achilles body.
: Adopt, what. I don't want to adopt. Not with my genes. I have award winning genes.
: Who is the boss between you and mommy? Lenny Weinrib
: Who is the boss? You have to ask that? I'm the boss. Mommy is only the decision maker.
: I'm sure that you're a state-of-the-art fellatrix.
: You want to go inside, take a shower? You can study me up close and personal. Lenny Weinrib
: Oh... oh, no, I've bathed already.
: This guy's gonna put me in 27 separate Mason jars!
: You didn't see Schindler's List? Kevin
: No, no... that was the one with the Jews and the, um... who were the bad guys? Lenny Weinrib
: The Nazis. The blond guys were the Nazis. Kevin
: They were tough motherfuckers.
: I'm completely superfluous. Kevin
: Oh, you don't feel good?
: You're married, aren't you? Lenny Weinrib
: How can you tell that? Linda Ash
: 'Cause you got that look. Lenny Weinrib
: "That look?" What... what look is that? Linda Ash
: That look like it's been a long time since you had a great blowjob.
: He's dicking around in agriculture. Linda Ash
: What's wrong with his dick?
: [at the racetrack
] There's a reason the horse is sixty to one though, y'know, he's probably got polio.
: I'm not a violence person! I write about boxing and hockey and football!
: Who's Rickey? Linda Ash
: He's, he's... he takes a percentage of my work. Lenny Weinrib
: He's a pimp right? Linda Ash
: No, he's like a business representative. Lenny Weinrib
: Wha? ...what do you need a business representative...? All you need is a mattress and a couple of garter belts...you're not a conglomerate!
: But seriously, you wanna know why I liked you right from the start? Lenny Weinrib
: Why? Linda Ash
: Cause I'm always attracted to losers Lenny Weinrib
: Losers. You think I'm a loser? Linda Ash
: Yeah, you've got no confidence, it's sweet, I like that in a man. I can't stand those johns who come in and throw down a couple of hundred and whip out a big dick and wave it all over the joint. Lenny Weinrib
: I wouldn't do that, even if I wanted to...
: My father's brother was supposed to be a genius. I never met him, but everybody said he was brilliant. Lenny Weinrib
: Really? What did he do? Linda Ash
: He was a serial rapist. He spent his whole life in jail, but if he had gone straight, he might have been very good in math.
: Now I see big trouble! Lenny Weinrib
: Oh for God's sakes, you're such a Cassandra! Cassandra
: I'm not 'such a Cassandra'; I am Cassandra!
: Six dates? It's a slow night. I wish I had the penicillin concession in your apartment.
: I told you from day one the girl was not a virgin! Kevin
: You didn't tell me how many times though!