Ka D'Argo
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Quotes for
Ka D'Argo (Character)
from "Farscape" (1999)

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"Farscape: Lava's a Many Splendored Thing (#4.4)" (2002)
John Crichton: [talking about Noranti] D, we may have to stick granny in a home.
General Ka D'Argo: I think we should burn her.
John Crichton: You burn your old folks?
General Ka D'Argo: No. Just sounded like a good idea.

John Crichton: Grandma, you okay?
General Ka D'Argo: I think she's asleep.
John Crichton: Grandma.
General Ka D'Argo: Oy!
John Crichton: This is unbelievable. Can't cook, won't bathe, and now she's narcoleptic! She's a triple threat. Grandma get up!

John Crichton: [after Noranti gives them a full monty] Oh my god!
General Ka D'Argo: Niiiiiii!

General Ka D'Argo: Same dren, different planet.

General Ka D'Argo: That is your plan?
John Crichton: Yeah.
General Ka D'Argo: To hit him with a rock, when they have these, like, shield things?

General Ka D'Argo: Okay, I'm with you. I just have, uh, one small little question. Who is Lou Costello?

Dominar Rygel XVI: So whey don't we land? I am starving. Isn't that a planet out there?
General Ka D'Argo: Hot and lifeless. Do you eat rock?
Chiana: Right now? I think I could.
Sikozu Svala Shanti Sugayi Shanu: You ate only three solar days ago. How inefficient is your body?
Chiana: How edible is yours?

Utu-Noranti Pralatong: Right. And they're gonna keep shooting at us untill we die unless we talk to them, so let me mediate!
General Ka D'Argo: You know, maybe we should let her try.
John Crichton: Nah, she's gonna get shot.
General Ka D'Argo: And that would be bad?

"Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars" (2004)
Stark: I'll take your pain.
Ka D'Argo: No, pain is good. Means I'm alive.
Stark: Then let me help you to the other side.
Ka D'Argo: Frell, Stark. This is the other side. I was hoping to go back.

John Crichton: [a Peacekeeper Marauder has tracked down the crew of Moya] You know who it's gonna be, don't ya?
Ka D'Argo: I know who it is.
John Crichton: Bet me. C'mon D, bet me. How much?
Ka D'Argo: You're on your own my friend.
Scorpius: [Exiting the ship] Hello, John!
John Crichton: Easy money.

Ka D'Argo: [Chiana has found the weak points in Staleek's ship] Excellent. I'll be able to stop them cold with three perfect shots.
Chiana: Why three? You usually slay me with just one.

John Crichton: You're the closest friend I have.
Ka D'Argo: You could have done better.
John Crichton: Not in the entire universe.

John Crichton: [Crichton carries off Chiana] The first Scarran you see, you tell him who his daddy is! YOU TELL HIM D'ARGO!
Ka D'Argo: [later after everyone else has left, and the Scarrans have arrived] I'M YOUR DADDY!

Jothee: [after rescuing D'Argo and Chiana] Father.
[D'Argo punches Jothee]
Jothee: Not quite the Luxan greeting, but...
Ka D'Argo: What are you doing here?
Jothee: Right now? Saving your life.
Ka D'Argo: Thanks.

"Farscape: Family Ties (#1.22)" (2000)
John Crichton: [on a suicide mission] How come I'm not afraid?
Ka D'Argo: Fear accompanies the possibility of death. Calm shepherds its certainty.
John Crichton: I love hanging with you, man.

Ka D'Argo: I thought I would live much longer.
Officer Aeryn Sun: I never thought I'd live this long.

Officer Aeryn Sun: You are not the captain here!
Ka D'Argo: No one is. It is anarchy and today it is MY day to rule!

John Crichton: How you doin'?
Ka D'Argo: I have to pee.
[They look at each other and laugh]

Chiana: Don't tell me how to lie! It's one of the BEST things I do.
Ka D'Argo: You are a real pain in the eema! But one I have grown to enjoy.

"Farscape: Bad Timing (#4.22)" (2003)
John Crichton: And the baby?
Officer Aeryn Sun: It's yours.
Officer Aeryn Sun: I just wanted to tell you. Hope it doesn't change anything.
John Crichton: [pause] Well it changes everything.
Chiana: [inside Moya] Wh- What's going on?
Ka D'Argo: Now John seems very, very angry.

Ka D'Argo: He's putting some sort of... looks like a ring on her finger?
Chiana: A ring?
Ka D'Argo: A- A ring.
Chiana: [chuckling] You frellniks. Didn't you watch any of those -those - those- those - those Earth movies? Crichton just proposed.
Dominar Rygel XVI: PROPOSED what?
Chiana: Marriage.
Dominar Rygel XVI: Marriage! Idiot!

Officer Aeryn Sun: [as they're about to be strafed] You and your timing.
John Crichton: I love you.
[They kiss and get crystallized]

Chiana: Sex does it.
General Ka D'Argo: For you.
Chiana: For everyone. Sex.
John Crichton: With you? Or with him?
Chiana: Whatever.

"Farscape: Mind the Baby (#2.1)" (2000)
Ka D'Argo: As John once said, 'I would rather go down on a swing.'
John Crichton: Swinging. You wanna go down swinging.
Ka D'Argo: Swinging.

[playing Rock, Paper, Scissors]
John Crichton: Again?
Ka D'Argo: Yeah.
John Crichton: One, two, three.
[John throws paper, D'Argo throws rock]
Ka D'Argo: [laughs] Again, I win.
John Crichton: No, I win. Paper wraps rock.
Ka D'Argo: No, paper cannot possibly beat rock.
John Crichton: It does. Paper beats rock.
Ka D'Argo: Rock rips through paper.
John Crichton: D'Argo, that's not how it works. Paper beats rock.
Ka D'Argo: That's unrealistic.
John Crichton: Well, it's the rules. And it's not suppose to be realistic, it's supposed to be entertaining.
Ka D'Argo: My coma was more entertaining.

Ka D'Argo: You look after her while I go and break Crais' neck.
John Crichton: D'Argo, you couldn't break wind right now, I'm going.

John Crichton: Sparky. How's my favorite Hynerian?
[Rygel can't speak]
Ka D'Argo: Even I am pleased to see you.
[Rygel continues choking]
Ka D'Argo: Are, uh, are you not well?
John Crichton: You got a frog in your throat? You need a Hynerian Hymlich?
[does Hymlich on Rygel]
Dominar Rygel XVI: Fine! I'll be fine.
[sees Aeryn and starts again]
Dominar Rygel XVI: Slight case of the intons.
John Crichton: What?
Officer Aeryn Sun: It's a Hynerian airway seizure caused by very strong emotions.
John Crichton: [laughing] I didn't know you had strong emotions in you, Sparky.
Ka D'Argo: Other than, uh, greed of course.

"Farscape: Losing Time (#3.9)" (2001)
General Ka D'Argo: Believe me. This plan is so bad it has to be ours.

John Crichton: Anything strange happen to you guys?
General Ka D'Argo: I live on this ship. Something strange always happens.

Joolushko Tunai Fenta Hovalis: Shoot him. Shoot him now. You're the warrior, shoot him now.
General Ka D'Argo: Alright, with what? My nose?

"Farscape: Through the Looking Glass (#1.17)" (1999)
Ka D'Argo: Have you ever heard of anything like this happening before?
John Crichton: D'Argo, I haven't heard of anything like anything before. My planet doesn't even go to the moon anymore.

Ka D'Argo: I have no time-keeping device.
John Crichton: [demonstrating] One Mississippi One, one Mississippi two, one Mississippi three... 300. forward.
Ka D'Argo: [after John leaves] One Mippippippi, two Mippippippi, three Mippippippi, four Mippippippi...

"Farscape: Look at the Princess: Part 1: A Kiss Is But a Kiss (#2.11)" (2000)
John Crichton: After we're married, and I mean right after we're married, they turn us into statues!
Ka D'Argo: [beat] That... is... fascinating...
John Crichton: Excellent. D'Argo discovers science!

[about Crichton getting turned into a statue for 80 years]
John Crichton: Humans do not live as long as Sebaceans, or Hynerians or Delvians. When I get back, everyone, my Dad, DK, my sisters, Cameron Diaz, Buffy the Vampire Slayer will be dead.
Ka D'Argo: Well, you may never see these people again anyway.
John Crichton: Hope, D'Argo. It's what keeps you going. Your gonna see your son. I'm gonna get home. Hope, I have hope... or I have nothing.

"Farscape: Rhapsody in Blue (#1.13)" (1999)
Ka D'Argo: Something Crichton said is disturbing me.
Dominar Rygel XVI: Finally. I've been saying that since he arrived.

Aeryn Sun: This is such a bad combination. I never should have left them. Zhaan distracted, Crichton confused.
Ka D'Argo: Crichton is always confused.

"Farscape: Self Inflicted Wounds: Part 1 - Could'a, Would'a, Should'a (#3.3)" (2001)
[on Crichton]
Aeryn Sun: He trusts these aliens.
General Ka D'Argo: We know nothing about them
Aeryn Sun: I think wormholes blind him.
General Ka D'Argo: Well, at least he has a hobby.
Aeryn Sun: Help me keep an eye on it.

[Pilot has just vomited all over Stark]
General Ka D'Argo: I had no idea that he could do that!
Stark: I had no idea *anyone* could do that!

"Farscape: Back and Back and Back to the Future (#1.3)" (1999)
Ka D'Argo: Do you mock me?
John Crichton: D'Argo, I mock all of us.

[Verell looks up from his scientific research device at D'Argo's work bench]
Verell: Ah, D'Argo. Come in, please.
Ka D'Argo: I do not want to disturb you.
Verell: Not at all! Don't forget, for nearly a cycle my only companion has been Matala.
Ka D'Argo: Some would find that situation most desirable.
Verell: Ah. Then you find her desirable?
Ka D'Argo: Please forgive me, I had no right to...
Verell: There is nothing to forgive. Matala's a colleague, nothing more. If you want her, then by all means, begin the Luxan chase.
Ka D'Argo: I, uh, I couldn't.
Verell: As you prefer. It's clear she wants you.

"Farscape: Season of Death (#3.1)" (2001)
[D'Argo and Crichton are trying to escape from a Scarran who is blasting heat rays through a door to get inside, so Crichton opens a door to snow storm temperatures]
General Ka D'Argo: WHOA! I hate the cold!
John Crichton: Freeze or fry!
General Ka D'Argo: ...Freeze.

[Trying to elude the Scarran]
John Crichton: Think he's following?
General Ka D'Argo: Better hope he is!
John Crichton: Sounds like you got a plan.
General Ka D'Argo: We're gonna bring him out here and see how he likes being in the cold.
John Crichton: And what if he likes it?
General Ka D'Argo: Look, one plan at a time!

"Farscape: Natural Election (#4.6)" (2002)
Ka D'Argo: See plant, kill plant.
John Crichton: That's gotta be on the Luxan coat of arms.

Ka D'Argo: John, I gotta tell you something I've never actually put into words before.
Ka D'Argo: I love shooting things.

"Farscape: Crackers Don't Matter (#2.4)" (2000)
John Crichton: What the hell is going on here?
Aeryn Sun: Nothing.
Chiana: She won't play me the message. There's a hidden message on there and she won't show it to me!
Aeryn Sun: She's out of her frelling mind, there's nothing on there!
John Crichton: Show her the message.
Aeryn Sun: What?
John Crichton: Show her the message. If there's nothing secret on the beacon, then show her the message and she can get the hell out of here.
Chiana: Wait a minute. Why do you want me to watch it? Oh. What's on there you want me to see?
[Aeryn groans]
John Crichton: You know what? Aeryn's right. You're "fweaking" insane.
Aeryn Sun: Thank you!
Ka D'Argo: What's going on in here?
John Crichton: Go back to your mountain, grizzly, you're not wanted here.
Chiana: They're up to something. They are! They're working together! First of all they don't want me to watch the beacon, and now, they want me to watch the beacon!

"Farscape: Suns and Lovers (#3.2)" (2001)
Chiana: [D'Argo's just come after freeing Moya] We thought you were going to die out there.
Ka D'Argo: [speaks weakly, voice cracking] Hey, come here.
[Chiana moves in closer]
Ka D'Argo: I want... you both... TO STAY AWAY FROM ME!

"Farscape: Exodus from Genesis (#1.2)" (1999)
General Ka D'Argo: We will cut off the tip of our small finger for identification.
John Crichton: [picks up spray paint] How 'bout something a little less permanent?

"Farscape: Dog with Two Bones (#3.22)" (2002)
Ka D'Argo: Revenge is a feast best served immediately.

"Farscape: Look at the Princess: Part 2: I Do, I Think (#2.12)" (2000)
John Crichton: [before Crichton gets turned into a statue] Aw, this is not happening. Just feel free to wake me up any time, D'Argo.
General Ka D'Argo: Well, now, I can only speak truth. And that comes as good and bad news.
John Crichton: All right, give me the bad news first.
General Ka D'Argo: The bad news is that you're married and you must endure as a statue for 80 cycles on a strange world.
John Crichton: What's the good news?
General Ka D'Argo: Chiana and I are having fantastic sex.

"Farscape: I Shrink Therefore I Am (#4.8)" (2002)
Dominar Rygel XVI: [over the comms] Crichton?
John Crichton: Yeah, Ryg.
Dominar Rygel XVI: There's a wrinkled old woman floating outside the forward portal.
John Crichton: Whoa. Gigantic oops.
[to D'Argo]
John Crichton: Can you do me a favor? Pop outside the tier three treblin side hatch and haul Granny in.
General Ka D'Argo: Noranti is outside?
John Crichton: Yeah. Don't-don't ask. She's-she's got some red Play-Doh in her pocket. Dose of that when she gets in, she should be all right.

"Farscape: Revenging Angel (#3.16)" (2001)
Ka D'Argo: [Unable to stop his ship from continuing the self destruct sequence] Nothing works. I've failed.
Chiana: Move D'Argo. Let mommy shoot it.

"Farscape: Thanks for Sharing (#3.7)" (2001)
John Crichton: You been lyin' to your daddy, boy, and you know you shouldn't lie to your daddy. It's gonna stop. Who's your daddy? C'mon, you know who your daddy is. Who's your daddy? D'Argo, tell him who his daddy is.
General Ka D'Argo: I'M your daddy.

"Farscape: Vitas Mortis (#2.2)" (2000)
Ka D'Argo: This is Nilaam. She's here to help.
Chiana: How could *she* possibly help *us*?
Ka D'Argo: She's an orican.
Chiana: Oh. Okay. I'll repeat the question.

"Farscape: Self Inflicted Wounds: Part 2 - Wait for the Wheel (#3.4)" (2001)
John Crichton: My grandmother used to say that life is a great wheel. Sometimes it grinds you down to the mud, and other times it lifts you up into the light.
Ka D'Argo: Are we strapped to this wheel?
John Crichton: That's a given. The point is, is that most times you get a second chance. You just gotta wait for the wheel.

"Farscape: Incubator (#3.11)" (2001)
John Crichton: You're the one who decided we should stay away and let them deal with it.
Ka D'Argo: Which suits you perfectly so you can indulge yourself.
John Crichton: Fine, I'm indulging myself. Maybe I'm entitled once in a while.
Ka D'Argo: Yep, once in a while.
John Crichton: You wanna push this? Mr. Let's Go Find My Son?

"Farscape: Fractures (#3.18)" (2001)
John Crichton: [holding up shirts] Which one, green or black?
Ka D'Argo: This is not the time.
John Crichton: D'Argo, green or black?
Ka D'Argo: Well, the black of course. I mean, far be it for me to say, but I've always thought that the cut of that green shirt doesn't suit the shape of your body.

"Farscape: Kansas (#4.12)" (2002)
[Aeryn watches Sesame Street on television and practices her English]
Aeryn Sun: L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S. S. D'argo, you should pay attention to this.
General Ka D'Argo: Chiana has already told me a few words. Yes. No. Bite me. That's all I need to know.
Aeryn Sun: This girl is slow.
[Chiana and D'argo argue while Aeryn continues watching television]
Aeryn Sun: Again with The Cookie Monster.

"Farscape: Picture If You Will (#2.6)" (2000)
Chiana: Who's the ugly old man?
John Crichton: His name is Maldis. He's your basic evil vampire.
Ka D'Argo: He sucks the life force out of people.
John Crichton: He just plain sucks.

"Farscape: That Old Black Magic (#1.8)" (1999)
Officer Aeryn Sun: You can smell Crichton in all of this?
Ka D'Argo: Yes. His odor is even stronger than yours.
Officer Aeryn Sun: I don't have an odor.

"Farscape: Throne for a Loss (#1.4)" (1999)
Ka D'Argo: [to Rygel] "Shut up" includes you.

"Farscape: The Flax (#1.12)" (1999)
Staanz: I'm lonely. Everybody needs a mate, Ka D'Argo. Even you.
John Crichton: A mate?
Staanz: I am the female of the species, you know that, don't you? In fact, false modesty aside, I'm, uh, I'm considered quite the Zenetan beauty.
John Crichton: You know, big guy, I think I'd better give you a little time alone here, 'cause you know, in a universe this vast, when two hearts collide...
General Ka D'Argo: Shut up.

"Farscape: Premiere (#1.1)" (1999)
Ka D'Argo: [about Aeryn] She is infantry. Peacekeeper Command tells her where to fight and die.

"Farscape: Coup by Clam (#4.10)" (2002)
Dr. Tumii: The problem is, you are not mollusks.
General Ka D'Argo: That's never been a problem for us before.

"Farscape: What Was Lost: Part 2 - Resurrection (#4.3)" (2002)
Joolushko Tunai Fenta Hovalis: I am so sorry for not defending you. Maybe you weren't Vella's intelecutal equal, but...
Ka D'Argo: Well, I am now. She's a rock.

"Farscape: Taking the Stone (#2.3)" (2000)
General Ka D'Argo: You robbed the dead!
Dominar Rygel XVI: And believe me, that wasn't as easy as it sounds.

"Farscape: Scratch 'N Sniff (#3.13)" (2001)
Ka D'Argo: I am a full-blooded Luxan, and ladies, I have so much cash in my pocket that I can assure you that the three of us will be out of here on our hands and knees come sunrise tomorrow morning. I've been arrested for saying exactly the same thing on four different planets.

"Farscape: Bone to Be Wild (#1.21)" (2000)
Ka D'Argo: Zhaan, let me explain to you what's going on inside my nose right now. There's large pieces of green mucus and gunk...
John Crichton: D'Argo. D'Argo. No, no, no, no. Stop it with the Luxan poetry.

"Farscape: PK Tech Girl (#1.5)" (1999)
General Ka D'Argo: This ship is legendary. Even in my culture, it was thought invincible.
John Crichton: Yeah, well, just ask Leonardo DiCaprio. Even the big ones go down.

"Farscape: We're So Screwed: Part 3: La Bomba (#4.21)" (2003)
John Crichton: What the frell's going on up there?
Ka D'Argo: We couldn't override their override of our override.
John Crichton: Oh, great. They stole our getaway car.

"Farscape: Won't Get Fooled Again (#2.15)" (2000)
General Ka D'Argo: John, I really need to just unburden myself on you.
John Crichton: What?
General Ka D'Argo: Well, lately I've been thinking about you in a very different way.
John Crichton: Uh huh.
General Ka D'Argo: Mmm hmmm, and I was wondering if you would mind participating with me in a little Luxan bonding ritual. Here's the thing okay? What we need are some chains, uh, my Qualta blade, just a little squirt of lutra oil and- Oh! Chiana.
John Crichton: Chiana?
General Ka D'Argo: Yeah, she wants to watch.
John Crichton: Oh, no.
General Ka D'Argo: Oh, yes.

"Farscape: I-Yensch, You-Yensch (#3.19)" (2002)
Chiana: What happened to you guys? Why-why didn't you call in?
General Ka D'Argo: Well, the restaurant, it, uh - it sorta burned down. I don't wanna talk about it.