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Quotes for
Chiana (Character)
from "Farscape" (1999)

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"Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars" (2004)
Ka D'Argo: [Chiana has found the weak points in Staleek's ship] Excellent. I'll be able to stop them cold with three perfect shots.
Chiana: Why three? You usually slay me with just one.

John Crichton: The baby is breach.
Chiana: I can't birth her narl. I don't want a narl. I hate narls. I'm still a narl myself.
John Crichton: You helped Moya give birth.
Chiana: I blew out a wall and three tiers!
Aeryn Sun: I concur.
John Crichton: The baby's head is *up*. It has to be *down*. Don't make any structural changes.

Chiana: [Chiana is nearly hysterical after D'Argo's death, and is talking to Chricton] Hey, come here. Kill the frelling sledgeknots. And kill their mothers, too. An-and if you can kill 'em slowly, do it.
Rygel XVI: Back off, Chiana.
Chiana: [lunges at Rygel and grabs his clothing] Keep away! D'Argo's dead. Do you think I frelling care what I do to *you*?
Rygel XVI: [looks into her eyes for a second] Yes.

Jothee: [Rygel's crying while Chiana tries to feed Stark. Pointing to Rygel] I don't remember him being like this.
Chiana: Nobody does.
[turns to Rygel]
Chiana: Toad, what's with the waterworks?
Rygel XVI: [crying] I miss the baby.
Jothee: What baby? He had a baby?
Chiana: It's kind of a twisted story.
Stark: [Speaks but acts like he's not completely there] It's a chemical imbalance in his system from carrying the child. He will recover... eventually.

[Jothee learns of D'argo's death]
Jothee: Did he suffer?
Chiana: Are you kidding? THEY suffered.

"Farscape: Crackers Don't Matter (#2.4)" (2000)
John Crichton: Does this strike any of you superior beings as a little bit ironic?
Chiana: What?
John Crichton: That I'm the deficient one, and I'm still saving your butts.

John Crichton: What the hell is going on here?
Aeryn Sun: Nothing.
Chiana: She won't play me the message. There's a hidden message on there and she won't show it to me!
Aeryn Sun: She's out of her frelling mind, there's nothing on there!
John Crichton: Show her the message.
Aeryn Sun: What?
John Crichton: Show her the message. If there's nothing secret on the beacon, then show her the message and she can get the hell out of here.
Chiana: Wait a minute. Why do you want me to watch it? Oh. What's on there you want me to see?
[Aeryn groans]
John Crichton: You know what? Aeryn's right. You're "fweaking" insane.
Aeryn Sun: Thank you!
Ka D'Argo: What's going on in here?
John Crichton: Go back to your mountain, grizzly, you're not wanted here.
Chiana: They're up to something. They are! They're working together! First of all they don't want me to watch the beacon, and now, they want me to watch the beacon!

John Crichton: Whatcha doing?
Chiana: Well, I'm having sex with three Hynerian donkeys. What does it look like?

"Farscape: Bad Timing (#4.22)" (2003)
John Crichton: And the baby?
Officer Aeryn Sun: It's yours.
Officer Aeryn Sun: I just wanted to tell you. Hope it doesn't change anything.
John Crichton: [pause] Well it changes everything.
Chiana: [inside Moya] Wh- What's going on?
Ka D'Argo: Now John seems very, very angry.

Ka D'Argo: He's putting some sort of... looks like a ring on her finger?
Chiana: A ring?
Ka D'Argo: A- A ring.
Chiana: [chuckling] You frellniks. Didn't you watch any of those -those - those- those - those Earth movies? Crichton just proposed.
Dominar Rygel XVI: PROPOSED what?
Chiana: Marriage.
Dominar Rygel XVI: Marriage! Idiot!

Chiana: Sex does it.
General Ka D'Argo: For you.
Chiana: For everyone. Sex.
John Crichton: With you? Or with him?
Chiana: Whatever.

"Farscape: Nerve (#1.19)" (2000)
Chiana: Spare me the technobabble, gadget girl. Let's just get on with it.

[John plans to infiltrate the Peacekeeper Base by impersonating a Sebacean]
Dominar Rygel XVI: You aren't just fahr-bot, you're *magra* fahr-bot.
John Crichton: I did it before, I can do it again.
Chiana: Yeah, by the skin of your mivonks.

"Farscape: Bone to Be Wild (#1.21)" (2000)
Chiana: Distress call? Directed at-at us?
John Crichton: [laughing] How stupid is that?

Chiana: [to Rygel] You oughta keep one foot out of your mouth. You may need it to run.

"Farscape: A Human Reaction (#1.16)" (1999)
Dominar Rygel XVI: What? It's just a tiny blue planet. What are you getting so worked up about? Nah, it's got no particle rings, no red moons.
Chiana: Totally unimpressive.
John Crichton: That's Earth. That's my home.

"Farscape: Lava's a Many Splendored Thing (#4.4)" (2002)
Dominar Rygel XVI: So whey don't we land? I am starving. Isn't that a planet out there?
General Ka D'Argo: Hot and lifeless. Do you eat rock?
Chiana: Right now? I think I could.
Sikozu Svala Shanti Sugayi Shanu: You ate only three solar days ago. How inefficient is your body?
Chiana: How edible is yours?

"Farscape: Suns and Lovers (#3.2)" (2001)
Chiana: [D'Argo's just come after freeing Moya] We thought you were going to die out there.
Ka D'Argo: [speaks weakly, voice cracking] Hey, come here.
[Chiana moves in closer]
Ka D'Argo: I want... you both... TO STAY AWAY FROM ME!

"Farscape: Dog with Two Bones (#3.22)" (2002)
Chiana: I went shopping.
John Crichton: Shopping? No, no you don't have any money.
Chiana: Lifting. Shoplifting.

"Farscape: Family Ties (#1.22)" (2000)
Chiana: Don't tell me how to lie! It's one of the BEST things I do.
Ka D'Argo: You are a real pain in the eema! But one I have grown to enjoy.

"Farscape: Revenging Angel (#3.16)" (2001)
Ka D'Argo: [Unable to stop his ship from continuing the self destruct sequence] Nothing works. I've failed.
Chiana: Move D'Argo. Let mommy shoot it.

"Farscape: Vitas Mortis (#2.2)" (2000)
Ka D'Argo: This is Nilaam. She's here to help.
Chiana: How could *she* possibly help *us*?
Ka D'Argo: She's an orican.
Chiana: Oh. Okay. I'll repeat the question.

"Farscape: Through the Looking Glass (#1.17)" (1999)
Chiana: What if the Creature's waiting?
John Crichton: Then piss it off!
Chiana: How?
John Crichton: Pretend it's me.

"Farscape: Kansas (#4.12)" (2002)
[mistaking the middle finger as a friendly human greeting after seeing a picture of teenagers using the gesture]
Utu-Noranti Pratalong: What do you think this means?
Chiana: Must be some kind of greeting. Yeah, to friends.
[Chiana extends her middle finger toward Noranti]
Chiana: Hello, wrinkles.

"Farscape: Dream a Little Dream (#2.8)" (2000)
Chiana: Maybe we should get a different lawyer.
Dersch: Well, you're welcome to try, there's plenty of them around. Ninety percent of our population are lawyers.

"Farscape: A Constellation of Doubt (#4.17)" (2003)
Chiana: You can't tell when I'm lying.
Sikozu: Yes we can. We all can.
Chiana: How?
Sikozu: You open your mouth and words come out of it.

"Farscape: Out of Their Minds (#2.9)" (2000)
Chiana: [as D'Argo] Stand, you son of a hasmot!

"Farscape: Picture If You Will (#2.6)" (2000)
Chiana: Who's the ugly old man?
John Crichton: His name is Maldis. He's your basic evil vampire.
Ka D'Argo: He sucks the life force out of people.
John Crichton: He just plain sucks.

"Farscape: Home on the Remains (#2.7)" (2000)
John Crichton: I hope it's not a cold, 'cause I'm sure not gonna get any chicken soup on a Budong.
Chiana: Look, I don't know what cheekan zoop is, okay? But there's plenty of other food at the mining camp.

"Farscape: Losing Time (#3.9)" (2001)
John Crichton: We're gonna have a little chat. Moya must know that there's something seriously wrong with Pilot. We gotta get that thing out of him. Does she have any idea how we can do that?
Pike DRD: Beep.
John Crichton: You understand any of this?
Chiana: No.
John Crichton: Alright, we don't understand the R2D2 crap. We're going to use the Star Trek system. One blink for yes, two blinks for no.

"Farscape: Mind the Baby (#2.1)" (2000)
Chiana: Eat.
Dominar Rygel XVI: I can't eat.
Chiana: What, you... you can't eat? Any fever? Or dizziness? Or secreations that are even abnormal for you?

"Farscape: Crichton Kicks (#4.1)" (2002)
Chiana: What if the creature's waiting?
John Crichton: Then piss it off.
Chiana: How?
John Crichton: Pretend it's me.

"Farscape: Eat Me (#3.6)" (2001)
[Chiana hits Jool, who hits her back]
Chiana: See? Violence. You'll get the hang of it.

"Farscape: We're So Screwed: Part 3: La Bomba (#4.21)" (2003)
Scorpius: [after Crichton drops the bomb down the shaft] What have you done, John?
John Crichton: Fixed your little flower problem.
Officer Aeryn Sun: You reactivated it, didn't you?
John Crichton: It should go off in 60 microts.
Chiana: Then it explodes?
John Crichton: Yeah
Chiana: A big explosion?
John Crichton: Oh god, we should have voted first. All in favor show of hands
[pause - Crichton, Aeryn and Scorpius raise their hands]
John Crichton: Those opposed.
[pause - Chiana and D'Argo raise their hands]
John Crichton: Motion passes 3-2 with Sikozu abstaining.

"Farscape: I-Yensch, You-Yensch (#3.19)" (2002)
Chiana: What happened to you guys? Why-why didn't you call in?
General Ka D'Argo: Well, the restaurant, it, uh - it sorta burned down. I don't wanna talk about it.

"Farscape: Natural Election (#4.6)" (2002)
John Crichton: Hey, you still got you're pants on.
Chiana: Well, that would be a first.