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Quotes for
Stacy Warner (Character)
from "House M.D." (2004)

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"House M.D.: The Mistake (#2.8)" (2005)
Stacy Warner: What are you hiding?
Dr. Gregory House: [sarcastically] I'm gay.

Stacy Warner: If Chase screwed up so badly, why didn't you fire him?
Dr. Gregory House: He has great hair.

[Stacy interrupts House while with a patient]
Stacy Warner: I need to talk to you.
Dr. Gregory House: From the doorway?
Stacy Warner: It's confidential
Dr. Gregory House: Cool. I love gossip!

Stacy Warner: That's how you tell this guy he's dying?
Dr. Gregory House: Oh relax. He's got a cold, and soon, health insurance!

Stacy Warner: As your lawyer, I can't stop you from lying, I can't even be in the room, but I would be remiss if I didn't prep you to lie better.

Stacy Warner: Leave the blackmail out of the story you tell the committee.
Dr. Gregory House: I tried to leave it out of the story I told you.

Stacy Warner: Where's Chase?
Dr. Gregory House: He's too busy to service you until after work. I've got a couple of minutes, though. Feel free to say something like "What'll we do with the time left over?"


"House M.D.: Three Stories (#1.21)" (2005)
Stacy Warner: Did you think I wasn't going to get married?
Dr. Gregory House: Not to someone so poorly endowed. This guy's pancreas is pathetic.

Stacy Warner: God, you're an idiot!
Dr. Gregory House: I think I'm more of a jerk.

Stacy Warner: Morphine will kill you.
Dr. Gregory House: I can handle it.
Stacy Warner: You're in pain, you're not thinking right!
Dr. Gregory House: [shouts] That's why I need the damn morphine!

Stacy Warner: I know you're not too busy, you avoid work like the plague... unless it actually *is* the plague.


"House M.D.: Spin (#2.6)" (2005)
Dr. Gregory House: [House takes a forkful of food from Mark's plate] When you save someone's life, they owe you forever.
Mark Warner: You're right, take Stacy. Oh, wait! She'd probably just leave you all over again!
Dr. Gregory House: How's your recovery going? Gotten around to the *small* muscles yet?
Mark Warner: It's not the size of the muscle, it's where you get to *put* it.
Stacy Warner: My goodness, it's like watching Oscar Wilde and Noel Coward in the third grade.

Stacy Warner: We need to talk.
Dr. Gregory House: Oh, God, are you pregnant? 'Cause I really wanna finish high school!


"House M.D.: Failure to Communicate (#2.10)" (2006)
Stacy Warner: If I thought you were capable of listening, I'd shut up.
Dr. Gregory House: That makes no sense at all.

Stacy Warner: Why does this matter to you?
Dr. Gregory House: It's an anomaly. Anomalies bug me.
Stacy Warner: Then you're going to suffer.


"House M.D.: Honeymoon (#1.22)" (2005)
Dr. Gregory House: I am respecting your husband's decision. I don't see why you got a problem with that.
Stacy Warner: Because it's crap! Because you browbeat patients, intimidate them, lie to them! If you think you're right, you don't give a damn what they think! I did what you do all the time. The only difference is, I did it to you.


"House M.D.: Acceptance (#2.1)" (2005)
Stacy Warner: I met Mark at a fundraiser that happened to be held at a...
Dr. Gregory House: You met me at a strip club.
Stacy Warner: You were the worse two dollars I ever spent.


"House M.D.: Need to Know (#2.11)" (2006)
Stacy Warner: What was Greg like after I left?
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Uh, an egomaniacal narcissistic pain in the ass. Same as before you left.


"House M.D.: Hunting (#2.7)" (2005)
Stacy Warner: [House knows she secretly smokes] Why didn't you say anything?
Dr. Gregory House: 'Cause it helped me monitor your misery level. One trip outside was a good day, upwards of six... you were in hell.