Penny 'Grams' Halliwell
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Quotes for
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell (Character)
from "Charmed" (1998)

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"Charmed: Witchstock (#6.11)" (2004)
Phoebe Halliwell: What about Grams?
Leo Wyatt: She didn't make it.
[The basement door opens and a lot of smoke escapes. The "normal" Grams walks out coughing.]
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Nonsense. You can't damage an old warhorse like me. I'm already dead.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Are you giving me lip?
Chris Halliwell: [stepping back] No.
[after Wyatt orbs a bottle and the slime demon attacks]
Chris Halliwell: No!

Paige Matthews: Excuse me. Mm, who are you?
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Penny.
Paige Matthews: Penny. As in Penny Halliwell Penny?
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Yeah. Who are you?
Paige Matthews: I'm Paige. I'm your grand... I'm your grandest fan. I heard so much about you.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Far out!
Paige Matthews: Far out.
[calendar reads January 1967]
Paige Matthews: You have no idea how far out.

Chris Halliwell: In the future, everyone tried to control the Demon With No Name. But it can't be done.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: That's hardly a winning attitude, young man. And why in heaven's name couldn't the people in the future find some name for that thing?

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: All this, over men! How many times have I told you, men are utensils? You use them, wash them, then throw them in a drawer until you need them again.

Penny Halliwell: May peace and love from the moon above flow through your heart on the wings of a dove.
Nigel: Did you just try and cast a love spell on me? I'm a warlock.

Paige Matthews: It's a little late now, isn't it? We're your granddaughters.
Phoebe Halliwell: Hi, Grams.
Penny Halliwell: I'm your "Grams". The "Demon Hunter"?
Paige Matthews: Yeah and these fancy boots brought me from the future.
Piper Halliwell: And these earrings.
Phoebe Halliwell: And this ring.
Penny Halliwell: You're trying to trick me.
Piper Halliwell: No. Afraid not, Grams. Look, it's payback time. You need to get your act together. We love you, but if you don't start fighting now, all the people we're meant to save in the fut...
[Warlock attacks]

Penny Halliwell: What do I usually do at this point?
Phoebe Halliwell: You usually do something very final if you catch my drift.
Penny Halliwell: Snuff this warlock. His days are done. But make him good for the ecosystem?
[Warlock is vanquished into a shower of flowers]
Piper Halliwell: Now that's what you call flower power.

"Charmed: That '70s Episode (#1.17)" (1999)
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: You're going to be a handful, aren't you?
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh, you'll learn to adore me.

Penny "Grams" Halliwell: Well, let him go, I say. If husbands were supposed to stay married, god would've made them live longer.

Patty Halliwell: Can't you just bake cookies with them like all the other grandmothers?
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: The recipes they learn from me don't come from Betty Crocker, dear.

Penny "Grams" Halliwell: Where was I born?
Patty Halliwell: Mom!
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: I'm still not convinced that they're not warlocks.
Prue Halliwell: Boston. In a hotel room. Breech.
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: What was my husband's name?
Prue Halliwell: Which husband?
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: Who's Melinda Warren?
Phoebe Halliwell: The beginning of our family line. She gave us our powers, our destiny.
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: What's the secret ingredient in my blueberry cobbler?
Piper Halliwell: Honey. And a splash of rum.
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: What's IBM selling at in your time?
Patty Halliwell: Mom!

Penny "Grams" Halliwell: Well, look at you. The three of you. Oh, Patty, I always knew that I would deliver The Charmed Ones. Uh, once removed, of course. Prue. Piper. And...
Phoebe Halliwell: Phoebe!

Penny "Grams" Halliwell: What? Well, I unbound your powers without having broken the pact? Why would I do that? I mean, unless I died which, of course, would automatically... unbind your powers.
[Grams stands up]
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: Guess I'm not going to make it to the next millennium?

Prue Halliwell: Oops.
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: What happened?
Patty Halliwell: Where did you go?
Piper Halliwell: We didn't go anywhere. We were just standing here, and the next thing we knew ...
Phoebe Halliwell: We were just standing here.

"Charmed: Forever Charmed (#8.22)" (2006)
Paige Matthews: referring to Patty being dead: Does she know?
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: Yes, yes. We know. We're both dead by now. We're over it.
Patty Halliwell: Speak for yourself.

Patty Halliwell: [to Piper] You loved your Grams.
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: [realizing someone's in the house] Who's there?
Piper Halliwell: [to Patty] Oh! No. Mom...
Patty Halliwell: It's just me, Mom.
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: Patty?
Patty Halliwell: Mmm-hmmm.
[Grams faints]
Patty Halliwell: MOM?
[rushes to her]
Patty Halliwell: What happened?
[to Piper]
Patty Halliwell: Why'd she faint?
Piper Halliwell: Well, probably because you're... dead.

[about Paige's husband Henry]
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: Don't tell me she marries a whitelighter too.
Piper Halliwell: Worse. A mortal.
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: Oh, good God. Didn't I teach you girls anything?
Piper Halliwell: Hey, what can I say? There's always Uncle Coop.

Paige Matthews: [Paige, Piper, Phoebe, and Grams orb in] Right, now all we have to do is find Billie and Christy.
Billie Jenkins: [Billie walks in] You don't have to look far.
Billie Jenkins: Can we talk?
[another pause]
Billie Jenkins: Look, I am so sorry for what I've done to you guys, after everything you've done for me. I just wanted my sister back so badly, I couldn't even see that she was manipulating me.
Piper Halliwell: Well, that's very convenient, but how are we suppossed to know this isn't a trap?
[Billie shakes her head]
Paige Matthews: Guess we have to let her talk.
Phoebe Halliwell: Where's Christy?
Billie Jenkins: I don't know. Probably at Magic School trying to figure out a way to kill you.
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: But you're not.
Billie Jenkins: No. No. That was before. They twisted everything to make us think we were doing the right thing.
Piper Halliwell: Who?
Billie Jenkins: The Triad. They used us. They used Christy. Thay have spent the last fifteen years turning her into a killer. That's all they've care about. That's all they've wanted.

"Charmed: Cheaper by the Coven (#7.3)" (2004)
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Do you remember the first time you were this age, when I sat you and your sisters down and we had the talk.
Piper Halliwell: Grams, I already know all about sex, and no offence but I don't want to talk about with you because that's really gross.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: No, not the sex talk, silly. The witch talk.
Piper Halliwell: So what did you tell us?
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: That my being a witch was such an important part of my life and what it meant to me, and what it might mean to you someday.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Not a good time, girls. I'm busy.
Paige Matthews: You're dead.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Well, it doesn't mean I can't have a life.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Victor, what are you doing here?
Victor Bennett: And a big hello to you too, Penny. I was invited for a Wiccaning.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Oh, sorry. Wiccanings are only for magical family members.
Victor Bennett: That's not what Paige says.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Well, Paige doesn't know all the rules.

Victor Bennett: Don't want me looking up the old boyfriends, huh?
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: They were in a much bigger book, thank you.

"Charmed: Pre-Witched (#3.17)" (2001)
Phoebe: Oh, you guys didn't have to get out of bed for little old me.
Officer: Mrs. Halliwell?
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Can I hear what she did first before I answer that?
Officer: She was caught shoplifting.
Phoebe: Oh, that is so not true! I just forgot to pay them Grams. The store's not even pressing charges.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Phoebe!

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: No doctor. Just a picture. Is it too much for an old lady to ask her granddaughters to retract their claws, stand still, and look at me long enough to take one lousy picture?

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Who are we to decide that they're witches?
Patty Halliwell: Who are we decide that they're not?

Officer: [Policeman at front door with Phoebe] Penny Halliwell?
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Can I find out what she did before I answer that?

"Charmed: Just Harried (#3.15)" (2001)
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: We are gathered here today to unite two souls as one. Do you, Leo Wyatt, and Piper Halliwell, join us here of your own free will to acknowledge the eternal bond shared by both of you.
Leo Wyatt: I do.
Piper Halliwell: I do.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: You may face each other, join hands. Leo, you may recite your vows.
Leo Wyatt: Piper, through all the tears and struggles, I always knew in my heart that we'd make it here. I promise to love and respect you from this point forward as your husband, as my wife, my lover, my friend, and my soul mate. All I am is yours.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Piper.
Piper Halliwell: Leo, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was afraid that you were too good to be true, that maybe I didn't deserve someone so pure and beautiful and loving as you are. But here we are surrounded by the people that I love the most and I feel so proud, and so blessed to be your wife. Leo, I was born to love you and I always will.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Here before witnesses, Leo and Piper have sworn their vows towards each other. With this cord, I bind them to those vows.
Piper Halliwell, Leo Wyatt: Heart to thee, body to thee, always and forever, so mote it be.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: So mote it be.
Prue Halliwell, Phoebe Halliwell: So mote it be.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: [clock strikes twelve] Kiss her fast.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: I'm thinking more to the left. Is this the biggest arch you could get?
Prue Halliwell: Without opening a fast food franchise, yeah.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Well, just remember, if love is the quest then marriage is the conquest. This place must be like victory.

"Charmed: Happily Ever After (#5.3)" (2002)
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Did you cast a spell to ward off demonic parasites? Sweetheart, what did you do?
Leo Wyatt: We built a nursery in our bedroom closet.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Closet? Well, no wonder this baby called me!

Piper Halliwell: I read fairy tales to my baby just like you read to me.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Oh, darling. Well, I'm glad to see you're finally doing something.

Paige Matthews: Uh... No offense, but aren't you supposed to be dead?
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Oh, I'm over that...

"Charmed: Magic Hour (#3.2)" (2000)
Grams: Logic and reason go out the window when love gets involved.

[Grams magically flips the Book of Shadows open to the page on Handfasting]
Phoebe: You know, I specifically asked for a...
Grams: [voiceover] You asked for an answer. There it is.
Phoebe: [suspiciously] I know that voice...
Grams: [appearing in spectral form] Well, I should hope so.

"Charmed: Charmed Again: Part 1 (#4.1)" (2001)
Patty Halliwell: We didn't tell anybody because we were afraid that there would be reprisals, afraid that, you girls would be denied your powers. Your birthright. It happened after your father and I were divorced, when Sam and I were together.
Cole: Sam?
Leo: Her white lighter.
Cole: Apples don't fall far from the forbidden tree, I see.
Piper Halliwell: Shh! Go on.
Patty Halliwell: You were both toddlers. You just thought Mommy got a little fat. You never knew I was pregnant.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: I was the only one who knew.
Patty Halliwell: And Sam, obviously.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Right. Well, yes, of course.
Patty Halliwell: We wanted to keep the baby, of course. But mother...
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Well, I knew it would be disastrous. You know, before you and Leo, Piper, it wasn't just forbidden. It was unthinkable for witches to be with white lighters. I mean, let alone have children with them.
Patty Halliwell: So, that's why we had to, why we decided, to give the baby up. Sam and I took her to a local church as soon as she was born. And we asked the nun there to find a home for her, and she found one. A very, very good home.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Yes.
Leo: Explains why the Elders didn't know about her.
Phoebe Halliwell: All right, hold it. Wait just one minute. Are you telling me, that that girl, our innocent, is really... our sister?
Patty Halliwell: Your baby sister.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Their baby half-sister.
Patty Halliwell: But by my half, which makes her a sister witch. Well, actually, not yet anyway. Not until all three of you are here together by the Book. Just like before.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Charmed. Again.