Piper Halliwell
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Quotes for
Piper Halliwell (Character)
from "Charmed" (1998)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Charmed: That '70s Episode (#1.17)" (1999)
Piper Halliwell: This can't be happening. I'm getting a migraine.
Phoebe Halliwell: Better not. I don't think Advil's been invented yet. And apparently neither has this spell. It's not in here anywhere.

Piper Halliwell: I don't remember her working here.
Prue Halliwell: Well, yeah, I mean, with dad gone, she had to pay the bills somehow. I remember she used to come home late at night, and she would kiss me, and she always smelled like burgers.
Piper Halliwell: You're lucky. You have a lot more memories than I do.
Prue Halliwell: Well, at least you have some. I mean, poor Phoebe, she doesn't have any.

Patty Halliwell: Ready to order?
[waits]
Patty Halliwell: Take your time. I'll come back.
Piper Halliwell: No! Wait! We're ready. Aren't we, Pru ...
Prue Halliwell: Uh, prunes. Um, prunes. She wants to know if you have any prunes.
Patty Halliwell: Prunes? Sure. Yeah, I think so. I just started here. I'll go check.

Piper Halliwell: This is gonna sound really weird, but we're actually your...
Prue Halliwell: Cousins. From out of town.
Piper Halliwell: Right. Cousins. And we, uh, we need to tell you something really important about the baby that you're carrying, sort of.
Patty Halliwell: Not that this is any of your business, but I can't get pregnant anymore. Medically impossible. Excuse me.

Piper Halliwell: Yeah, how do we not have powers? I mean, Little Prue and Little Piper, they have powers.
Prue Halliwell: I don't know. Maybe only one set of us can have powers at the same time, in the same time?
Piper Halliwell: Thank you, Mr. Spock.

Young Prue: You came back.
Prue Halliwell: Yes, we did. And we're gonna keep it a secret, right?
Young Prue: Okay.
Prue Halliwell: Okay.
Young Prue: You're pretty.
Prue Halliwell: Oh. So are you.
Piper Halliwell: Oh, give me a break.
Young Piper: Grams said you're bad people.
Piper Halliwell: No, no, no. We're good people. We're, uh, just like you.
Piper Halliwell: Yeah. We're family.

Piper Halliwell: Prue, we're not just stuck in jail, we're stuck in the past.
Prue Halliwell: Yes, I know, Piper. I've been following.
Phoebe Halliwell: Bright side?
Piper Halliwell: Oh, I dare you.
Phoebe Halliwell: Well, maybe we could get to know mom better. Or in my case, finally. I mean, if we really are stuck here, we might as well take advantage of it, right? And maybe we could even keep her from dying young this time

Penny "Grams" Halliwell: Where was I born?
Patty Halliwell: Mom!
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: I'm still not convinced that they're not warlocks.
Prue Halliwell: Boston. In a hotel room. Breech.
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: What was my husband's name?
Prue Halliwell: Which husband?
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: Who's Melinda Warren?
Phoebe Halliwell: The beginning of our family line. She gave us our powers, our destiny.
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: What's the secret ingredient in my blueberry cobbler?
Piper Halliwell: Honey. And a splash of rum.
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: What's IBM selling at in your time?
Patty Halliwell: Mom!

Piper Halliwell: I'm never gonna learn to like lima beans, Grams, but thanks for everything else.

Prue Halliwell: Oops.
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: What happened?
Patty Halliwell: Where did you go?
Piper Halliwell: We didn't go anywhere. We were just standing here, and the next thing we knew ...
Phoebe Halliwell: We were just standing here.

Young Prue: [young Prue and young Piper are fighting over a doll] That's my doll!
Young Piper: You gave it to me!
Young Prue: No, I didn't, you stole it!
Prue Halliwell: [whispering to Piper] That's true, you did steal it!
Piper Halliwell: [whispering to Prue] I did not!
Prue Halliwell: [whispering to Piper] Yes, you did!

Piper Halliwell: I can't believe we got arrested for kidnapping ourselves.
Prue Halliwell: It should make for a pretty interesting defense.
Piper Halliwell: You think this is funny?

Piper: What, I'm supposed to throw out perfectly good flowers 'cause they came from a creep? If that was the rule, we'd never have flowers in this house.

Prue Halliwell: What are we going to do when we see a bad guy?
Young Prue: She's gonna cry.
[referring to little Piper]
Young Piper: Am not! I'm going to freeze him.
Young Prue: And then I'm going to move him.
Prue Halliwell: And we'll take care of him. Then what are we all going to do?
Young Piper: [along with young Prue] Run like the wind!


"Charmed: Something Wicca This Way Comes (#1.1)" (1998)
Piper Halliwell: What are we going to do?
Phoebe Halliwell: What can't we do?
Prue Halliwell: We are going to be careful, we're going to be wise, and we're going to stick together.
Piper Halliwell: This should be interesting.

Prue Halliwell: I'm calling the cops.
Piper Halliwell: And tell them what? That we're witches? That some creep with powers beyond comprehension is trying to kill us?

[after the lights went out]
Prue Halliwell: Don't worry. We'll be safe here.
Piper Halliwell: Don't say that. In horror movies, the people that say that are always the next to die.

Piper Halliwell: To my three beautiful girls. May this give you the light to find the Shadows. The power of three will set you free. Love, mom. We never did figure out what this inscription meant.

Phoebe Halliwell: I never touched Roger.
Prue Halliwell: Whoa!
Phoebe Halliwell: I know you think otherwise, because that's what that Armani- wearing, Chardonnay-slugging trust-funder told you. But...
Piper Halliwell: Hey! I have a great idea. Why don't I make a fabulous reunion dinner?
Prue Halliwell: I'm not hungry!
Phoebe Halliwell: I ate on the bus.
Piper Halliwell: O.K. We'll try the group hug later!

Piper Halliwell: It doesn't matter because nothing happened... Right, Phoebe?... when you did the incantation?
Phoebe Halliwell: Well, my head spun around, and I vomited split pea soup. How should I know?

Piper Halliwell: This? Do what this?
Phoebe Halliwell: Receive our powers.
Piper Halliwell: What powers? Wait. Our powers? You included me in this?
Prue Halliwell: No, she included all of us. Bring your powers to we sisters three. It's a book of witchcraft.

Piper Halliwell: You're up early.
Phoebe Halliwell: I never went to sleep.
Piper Halliwell: Don't tell me you put on a black conical hat and spent the night flying around the neighborhood on a broomstick.
Phoebe Halliwell: The only broom I've ever had was kept in a closet beside a mop.

Jeremy Burns: You are going to love this. I bet you tell Phoebe and Prue the moment you see them.
Piper Halliwell: I never mentioned Phoebe came home.
Jeremy Burns: OOPS!
[takes out knife]
Piper Halliwell: What is that?
Jeremy Burns: It's your surprise!
Piper Halliwell: Jeremy, stop it. You're scaring me. Damn it, I'm serious!
Jeremy Burns: So am I! See, I've waited six months for this. Ever since Grams went to the hospital. You see, I've known for quite some time that the moment the old witch croaked that all your powers would be released, powers that would reveal themselves as soon as the three of you got together again. All that was needed was for Phoebe to return.

Piper Halliwell: That was Andy. I told you I heard a man's voice. What did he want?
Prue Halliwell: He asked me out.
Piper Halliwell: And you said?
Prue Halliwell: Well, I started to say yes, but then I stopped. I wondered if I could date. I mean, do witches date?
Piper Halliwell: Not only do they date, but they usually get the best guys.
Prue Halliwell: You two won't be laughing when this happens to you. Believe me, everything'll be different now.
Phoebe Halliwell: Well, at least our lives won't be boring!
Prue Halliwell: But they'll never be the same.
Phoebe Halliwell: And this is a bad thing?
Prue Halliwell: No, but it could be a big problem.
Piper Halliwell: Prue's right. What are we going to do?
Phoebe Halliwell: What can't we do?
Prue Halliwell: We are going to be careful. We're going to be wise. And we're going to stick together.
Piper Halliwell: This should be interesting.
[the sisters walk into the Manor and Prue magically closes the door]

Piper Halliwell: You know how we've been talking about what to do with that spare room? I think you're right. We do need a roommate.
Prue Halliwell: Well, we could rent out the room at a reduced rate in exchange for help around the house.
Piper Halliwell: Phoebe's good with a wrench.
Prue Halliwell: Phoebe lives in New York.
Piper Halliwell: Not anymore.
Prue Halliwell: What?
Piper Halliwell: She left New York. She's moving back in with us.
Prue Halliwell: You've got to be kidding.
Piper Halliwell: Well, I could hardly say no. It's her house, too. It was willed to all of us.
Prue Halliwell: Yeah, months ago and we haven't seen or spoken to her since.
Piper Halliwell: Well, you haven't spoken to her.
Prue Halliwell: No, I haven't. Look, maybe you've forgotten why I'm so mad at her.
Piper Halliwell: No, of course not, but she had nowhere else to go. She lost her job, she's in debt.
Prue Halliwell: And this is news? How long have you known about this anyway?
Piper Halliwell: A couple of days. Maybe a week... or two.
Prue Halliwell: Thanks for sharing. When does she arrive?
Phoebe Halliwell: Surprise! I found the hide-a-key.

Piper Halliwell: [seeing her boyfriend Jeremy on the news] What happened?
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh, some woman got whacked.
Piper Halliwell: "Whacked"? Phoebe, you've been in New York way too long.

[Piper and Phoebe play with their old spirit board]
Phoebe Halliwell: I forgot your question.
Piper Halliwell: I asked if Prue was going to have sex with someone other than herself this year.
Phoebe Halliwell: That's disgusting.
[under her breath, as Piper heads towards the kitchen]
Phoebe Halliwell: Please say "yes."


"Charmed: Is There a Woogy in the House? (#1.15)" (1999)
Piper Halliwell: Don't worry, I can handle it all by myself. It's me, the culinary pachyderm!

Phoebe Halliwell: Earthquakes give me the jeebies.
Prue Halliwell: Would that be the Phoebe Jeebies?
Prue Halliwell: Oh, you know. It's the comedy stylings of Prue Halliwell.
Piper Halliwell: The only Halliwell that actually likes earthquakes.
Prue Halliwell: I don't like them, but I don't go running through the house naked screaming 'run for your life' either.
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay. That is such an exaggeration. I was wearing slippers.

Piper Halliwell: I believe Phoebe pronounced it Woogyman, or was that just the buckteeth?

Piper Halliwell: I thought he was gonna kill me. I didn't even have a chance to freeze him. Where'd you get the bat?
Phoebe Halliwell: I don't know. It just sort of appeared.

Piper Halliwell: Okay, okay. Sabotage, I am being sabotaged!
Phoebe Halliwell: What seems to be the problem?
Piper Halliwell: There is something terribly wrong with the house. Oh my God, oh my God, call a plumber. This is a complete and total disaster. Someone just kill me now and spare me the agony of clean up.
Phoebe Halliwell: Ask and you shall receive.

Piper Halliwell: I don't know what it is but it's like the house is possessed.
Prue Halliwell: No, no, no. It is Phoebe and her new powers.

Piper Halliwell: Our house was built in the centre of a pentagram.
Prue Halliwell: Looks like it's not just on a spiritual nexus, but a wiccan one as well. Which means it's a battleground for good and evil.

Piper Halliwell: Phoebe, what's wrong with you? Why won't you let us in?
Phoebe Halliwell: No, you can't, you shouldn't. You don't live here anymore!
[deep voice]
Phoebe Halliwell: He does.

Prue Halliwell: Oh my. She's frozen.
Piper Halliwell: Good.
Prue Halliwell: No, no, no. Remember our powers don't work on good witches.
Piper Halliwell: Oh, that means she's... ,
Prue Halliwell: We've lost her. Let's go get her back. Run.

Piper Halliwell: The gas man said that's where Phoebe was. And we know she's been down there.
Prue Halliwell: No, Piper, it was just a story.
Piper Halliwell: Are you so sure? We've seen monsters and demons from the past and future. How can you be so sure that Phoebe's childhood monster isn't real?
Prue Halliwell: The Woogyman in the basement?
Piper Halliwell: We've lost her. Let's go get her back. Run.
Prue Halliwell: Phoebe swore she saw something down there. And that's when Grams started telling us the story...
Piper Halliwell: Of how to destroy it.

Phoebe Halliwell: I'm beginning to wonder if I have a good one. Well I am. I mean up until now I didn't even think I had a dark side. I mean, not any more so than anyone else.
Prue Halliwell: Yeah, well. The important thing is the good side won out.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, but I must have been more susceptible than either one of you, otherwise he wouldn't of chosen me, right? Right?
Piper Halliwell: You were the only one that was born in the house, that makes you more connected to it. That spiritual nexus thing.
Phoebe Halliwell: That's exactly my point. I could go either way. Good or evil. Kinda freaky. I do have to tell you I am gonna miss that new power though. It was so fun.
Piper Halliwell: If Grams put away the shadow and it came back.
Prue Halliwell: Means it can come back again. Okay, it's time. Every witch before us has added to the Book of Shadows. We need to warn who comes next. It's our turn.
Phoebe Halliwell: Who should do it?
[Prue hands Phoebe a pen and she begins to write]

Piper: There has to be a way out of here!
Prue: We've tried everything, Piper. Besides, the only way to help Phoebe is from inside.
Piper: Help her kill us, maybe.
Prue: Yeah, well we have to keep trying.
Phoebe: [shouting from afar] Prue! Piper! Help me!
Prue: Do you think...
Phoebe: [shouting from afar] Please! You've got to help me! Down in the basement!
Piper: Trap!
Prue: Yeah, well, what else can we do?
Piper: We could not go to the basement. I'd vote for that.
Prue: Grams must've thought that this evil might come back, and that's why she told us this story.
Piper: Well, how do we remember the words? I never even believed in the Woogyman.
Prue: No, but Phoebe did. She knows the story by heart.
Piper: Something tells me she's not in the mood to share.


"Charmed: The Wendigo (#1.12)" (1999)
Piper Halliwell: Describe it? Okay... big, scary, strong... kind of like a cross between a werewolf and Charles Manson.

Piper Halliwell: I thought I was going to die last night. I was totally helpless, and all I could think about was that I was never going to see you guys again. And then suddenly out of nowhere comes Billy. Saved me. Protected me. That thing took away the person he loved, and he's out there all alone trying to kill it. I can't just do nothing.

Piper Halliwell: A wendigo. Apparently, it looks like a normal person during the day but then transforms at night. It survives by feeding on human hearts.
Billy Waters: What?
Piper Halliwell: According to my information, the first wendigo was a mortal who, betrayed by his lover, cut out her heart and ate it. As soon as he did, his own heart turned to ice, and that's how he became this monster.
Billy Waters: So, what, it, like... it takes love away from others. Is that it? Or then why did it go after you? Are you in love?
Piper Halliwell: No. Unfortunately, um, no. It must be attracted to something else.
Billy Waters: Like maybe beauty?
[Piper laughs]
Billy Waters: I'm sorry. It's just you remind me a lot of my fiancee.

Phoebe Halliwell: We still need to take a trip to the army-navy store.
Prue Halliwell: Why?
Phoebe Halliwell: To get a flare gun.
Piper Halliwell: [growls] Screw you, bitch!
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay, I think we need to hurry.
Prue Halliwell: Yeah, just hang in there, Piper.

Phoebe Halliwell: Are you okay?
Piper Halliwell: I think so. But I'm naked and freezing.

Piper Halliwell: On the house for saving my hide.
Phoebe Halliwell: Literally, you Wendigo you.

Piper Halliwell: And Andy. By the way, what did you tell him about why we were all there?
Prue Halliwell: I told him the truth.
Phoebe Halliwell: Get out!
Prue Halliwell: I did. I said that what he saw happen was true, that Agent Fallon really was the Wendigo, and that had we not vanquished her, that both he and Piper would have been killed. I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Piper Halliwell: Well, what did he say?
Prue Halliwell: Not much. He was either too stunned to speak or actually believed me on some level. It was the closest that we've ever come to having an honest conversation.

Phoebe Halliwell: I don't understand. Why didn't you just freeze him?
Piper Halliwell: I was trapped in a phone booth. My power doesn't work outside the room I'm in, remember?

Piper Halliwell: I thought I was going to die last night. I was totally helpless, and all I could think about was that I was never going to see you guys again. And then suddenly out of nowhere comes Billy. Saved me. Protected me. That thing took away the person he loved, and he's out there all alone trying to kill it. I can't just do nothing.

Phoebe Halliwell: Because I convinced Pure to hire me and what if I disappoint her? or what if I screw up and make her look bad? There's a reason my résumé is only three sentences long, Piper.
Piper Halliwell: Why?
Phoebe Halliwell: Because I convinced Pure to hire me and what if I disappoint her? or what if I screw up and make her look bad? There's a reason my résumé is only three sentences long, Piper.

Piper Halliwell: Describe it? Ok... Big, Scary, Strong... Kinda like a cross bwteen a Werewolf and Charles Manson.
Ashley Fallon: Yellow eyes?
Piper Halliwell: Yes
Ashley Fallon: Talon-like hands?
Piper Halliwell: Uh-Huh


"Charmed: Dream Sorcerer (#1.5)" (1998)
Phoebe Halliwell: [as Piper is flipping through the Book of Shadows] I'm telling you, there's no Dream Sorcerer stuff anywhere.
Piper Halliwell: That's impossible. The Book of Shadows has never let us down.
Phoebe Halliwell: Well, maybe he's not a demon. Maybe he's a mortal.
Piper Halliwell: Then he's got one hell of a power.
Phoebe Halliwell: You're not kidding.

Phoebe Halliwell: You want a man who is single, smart, endowed?
Piper Halliwell: Employed.

Prue Halliwell: Piper? Phoebe?
Piper Halliwell: Prue. You're home. I thought you had a date with Andy.
Prue Halliwell: Uh, no. He had to cancel. What are you doing?
Piper Halliwell: Hmm...
Phoebe Halliwell: [from the other room] Piper, I was wrong. The spell calls for cayenne pepper not black pepper.
[She walks in the kitchen and sees Prue]
Phoebe Halliwell: Ooh. Did I say spell? I... I meant recipe. We are so busted, aren't we?
Prue Halliwell: I would say yes.

Piper Halliwell: [after trying to copy an exercise video] Uh, I give up. Two weeks and nothing strengthened but my temper.
Prue Halliwell: Piper, here's the problem. You didn't read the fine print. See, it says right here. $19.95 for the video and twenty grand for the plastic surgeon.

Phoebe Halliwell: You want a man who is single, smart, endowed?
Piper Halliwell: Employed.
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh, sorry, employed. A man who loves sleeping in on Sunday, sunset bike rides, cuddling by a roaring fire, and late-night talks. A man who loves love as much as you do. Wow. You're a romantic.
Piper Halliwell: Yep. Your turn. You want the sexy, silent type that finds you driving through town on the back of a Harley at 3:00 in the morning. A man who appreciates scented candles, body oils and Italian sheets.
Phoebe Halliwell: He's about hunger and lust and danger and even know you know all this, even know you know he'll never meet your friends or share a holiday meal with your family, you still can't stay away. And he recycles.
Piper Halliwell: He recycles?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah. And I think it goes without saying we both want a man who is well employed.

Piper Halliwell: Would you like to see my tattoo?
Jack Manford: Would you like to see mine?
Piper Halliwell: Is there nothing I can say to turn you off?
Jack Manford: There really isn't. Which is kind of strange, actually.
Piper Halliwell: Not really. Jack, you're under a...
[Piper gets kissed]
Piper Halliwell: Spell.
[she nervously laughs as everyman in the restaurant is eying her]

Hans: Morning.
Hans: Excuse me, but who are you?
Piper Halliwell: Who cares?

Piper Halliwell: What happened?
Piper Halliwell: He wouldn't leave me alone all night. He kept touching me. And practically every guy in the bar was hitting on me. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I ditched Hans and left him at the club. So, how was your date?
Piper Halliwell: Perfect. Everything was perfect. Even my faults were perfect.
Phoebe Halliwell: And this is a bad thing?
Piper Halliwell: It wasn't real. Everything he said, everything he felt, it was because of the spell, not because of me.
Phoebe Halliwell: Piper, you don't know that. Maybe he meant every word. Maybe if it wasn't for the spell he would've never had a chance to feel those things. Let alone say them.
Piper Halliwell: No, Phoebe. Love is a magic between two people that cannot be explained and cannot be conjured. What we did, it's just... it's not right.

Phoebe Halliwell: Tons of fun, lots of heats and no strings attached. That's what I want.
Piper Halliwell: I know this may not sound very P.C., but I want romance. Long, slow kisses, late-night talks, candle lights. I love love. I'd take what Prue has in a flat second.

Piper Halliwell: So, what's up?
Phoebe Halliwell: I found this spell. How to attract a lover.
Piper Halliwell: No, Phoebe. Forget it. We're not casting any spells.
Phoebe Halliwell: Come on. There must be more to our powers than warlock wasting. I'm ready to have some fun with our magic.
Piper Halliwell: No. No personal gain, remember?
Phoebe Halliwell: How is it personal gain if we're using our powers to bring happiness to another person. And in my case lots and lots of happiness.
Piper Halliwell: Could you pass me that colander, please?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah. Look, I'm not talking about marriage here. We have our thirties to freak out about that. This spell is about having good time.
Piper Halliwell: I admit it's tempting. The dating scene can be a little frustrating. But bringing men into our life through a spell, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that a little bit desperate.
Phoebe Halliwell: No. How is asking for what you want being desperate? I say it's not. I say it's empowering. Besides, the Book of Shadows says we could reverse this spell at any time.

Piper Halliwell: Prue?
Prue Halliwell: Piper. Phoebe.
Phoebe Halliwell: Prue?
Whitaker Berman: They can't help you. You're mine, now.
Phoebe Halliwell: I'm scared.
Piper Halliwell: I know. Me too.
Phoebe Halliwell: What do we do?
Piper Halliwell: We don't let her give up. Prue, listen to me. You've got to fight with this guy.
Phoebe Halliwell: Don't leave us.
Piper Halliwell: Use your power, Prue.
Phoebe Halliwell: Come back to us.
Piper Halliwell: Use your power.
Phoebe Halliwell: You can do it, Prue.
Prue Halliwell: Where are you?
Whitaker Berman: You're powerless.
[carries Prue to the edge of the roof]
Whitaker Berman: Shall I say good night, hmm?
Prue Halliwell: No, let me. Good night.
[Prue uses her power shoving him off the building]


"Charmed: Forever Charmed (#8.22)" (2006)
Patty Halliwell: Did we miss anything?
Piper Halliwell: No, well, we changed the past and fixed the future and saved the present. That's all.

Phoebe Halliwell: So much has happened over the last 8 years. So much has been gained and lost. Still, in some ways I feel like my life is really just beginning... and it was. For though I had loved before, I'd never really known love until I met Coop. A man who I shared the special little girl I had long ago forseen, but feared I might never have. Along with two other special little girls I had not forseen. I was suddenly so blessed to have a new family of my own, and old friends to share it with. And though I kept working and giving advice to those who asked, I was more interested in helping them find love. Since finally, having been loved.
Paige Matthews: Phoebe, had become somewhat of an expert on the subject. As for me, life without demons opened up similar avenues. Henry of course continued to look after his parolees, even if they didn't want to be looked after. While still making time to help me with little Henry and the twins. Which allowed me time to finally embrace my inner whitelighter. And to help the next generation of witches come into their own.
Piper Halliwell: So that Paige could pass on all the she learned. Not just to her own children, or to mine, or to Phoebe's, but to other future witches and white lighters as well. Which filled the time between when we were doing the fighting and when our kids were old enough to take over. Allowing me time to get back to my roots and cook something other then potions for once. And open the restaurant I'd always dreamed of owning. As for Leo, after we reclaimed magic school he went back to teaching. Which he continued to do, until it was time to retire. Older Piper
[finishes reading the Book of Shadows to her granddaughter]
Elderly Piper: And although we certainly had our struggles and heart aches over the years we're a family of survivors and we will always be. Which is why we've truly been Charmed.
Granddaughter: Again, Grandmama, again.
Elderly Piper: Oh, dear. No, I can't. I need to rest. But you can look at it for a little while if you'd like. After all, it'll be yours one day.
[as older Piper and Leo walk up the stairs, the camera zooms in pictures spanning four generations of the Halliwell family, including a picture of Victor and Patty]
Elderly Piper: .

[Coop appears in the middle of the room and Wyatt recognizes him]
Wyatt Halliwell: Uncle Coop.
[Chris hits Wyatt]
Phoebe Halliwell: Uncle Coop? What?
[Everyone looks around confused]
Piper Halliwell: All right, everybody out. Go.

Patty Halliwell: [to Piper] You loved your Grams.
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: [realizing someone's in the house] Who's there?
Piper Halliwell: [to Patty] Oh! No. Mom...
Patty Halliwell: It's just me, Mom.
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: Patty?
Patty Halliwell: Mmm-hmmm.
[Grams faints]
Patty Halliwell: MOM?
[rushes to her]
Patty Halliwell: What happened?
[to Piper]
Patty Halliwell: Why'd she faint?
Piper Halliwell: Well, probably because you're... dead.

Leo Wyatt: I was just thinking about after you guys say the spell to get rid of The Hollow.
Piper Halliwell: Well, hopefully it'll work.
Leo Wyatt: Yeah, it it does it means everyone's gonna come back to life. Including Billie and Christy.
Piper Halliwell: Not for long. Not if I have my way.
Leo Wyatt: Until you do, it means the ultimate battle wouldn't have been fought yet. Which means the Angel of Destiny might take me away again until it is.
Piper Halliwell: Listen. All I know is that we will be playing Scrabble in the future. And I'm pretty sure you won't be losing.

[about Paige's husband Henry]
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: Don't tell me she marries a whitelighter too.
Piper Halliwell: Worse. A mortal.
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: Oh, good God. Didn't I teach you girls anything?
Piper Halliwell: Hey, what can I say? There's always Uncle Coop.

Dumain: My lords, we come from the future to warn you about it. The Charmed Ones will get The Hollow at the same time Billie and Christy will.
Christy Jenkins: Which means we've gotta get to it before they do this time.
[Billie and The Charmed Ones appear]
Dumain: Get of here!
[they vanquish The Triad]
Dumain: No!
Piper Halliwell: Oh, yes.
[Piper vanquishes both Dumains]
Christy Jenkins: I don't understand. How could this happen?
Paige Matthews: Billie projected us here. By focusing on you.
Piper Halliwell: Paige.
Paige Matthews: Ring!
[Paige orbs the ring away from Christy]
Christy Jenkins: [to Billie] How could you?
Billie Jenkins: Christy, please. It's over. Just come home.

Paige Matthews: [Paige, Piper, Phoebe, and Grams orb in] Right, now all we have to do is find Billie and Christy.
Billie Jenkins: [Billie walks in] You don't have to look far.
[pause]
Billie Jenkins: Can we talk?
[another pause]
Billie Jenkins: Look, I am so sorry for what I've done to you guys, after everything you've done for me. I just wanted my sister back so badly, I couldn't even see that she was manipulating me.
Piper Halliwell: Well, that's very convenient, but how are we suppossed to know this isn't a trap?
[Billie shakes her head]
Paige Matthews: Guess we have to let her talk.
Phoebe Halliwell: Where's Christy?
Billie Jenkins: I don't know. Probably at Magic School trying to figure out a way to kill you.
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: But you're not.
Billie Jenkins: No. No. That was before. They twisted everything to make us think we were doing the right thing.
Piper Halliwell: Who?
Billie Jenkins: The Triad. They used us. They used Christy. Thay have spent the last fifteen years turning her into a killer. That's all they've care about. That's all they've wanted.

Piper Halliwell: Anyway the point is: if I'm going to get my husband back, we have a battle to finish.
Phoebe Halliwell: And we're going to have to get mom back safely, otherwise Paige and I won't be born.
Patty Halliwell: Good point.
Paige Matthews: Well fantastic. Are there any other problems we should be worrying about?
Phoebe Halliwell: [Wyatt and Chris appear] Wyatt?
Piper Halliwell: Chris? What are you two doing here?
Chris Halliwell: Somebody just screwed up our future!

Elderly Leo: How do you spell Zankou? With a "Z" or an "X"?
Elderly Piper: That's cheating!
Elderly Leo: I'm not asking you, I'm asking me! Well...?
Leo Wyatt: A "Z".
Elderly Leo: Ha! Told ya!


"Charmed: Wicca Envy (#1.10)" (1999)
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh, look: front clasp bra. She means business.
Prue Halliwell: Serious business.
Piper Halliwell: Do you mind?
Phoebe Halliwell: No, are you kidding? I think it's great - as long as he's not still on the clock.
Piper Halliwell: That's what I mean. You guys have to get out of here before he unfreezes. I never know how long this things lasts. How much did you guys spend?
Phoebe Halliwell: Lots. Prue's new look is perfect for an SHW.
Prue Halliwell: SHW?
Phoebe Halliwell: Single Hot Witch.
Piper Halliwell: Prue, are you sure this isn't depression buying, you know, post-breakup?
Phoebe Halliwell: [take out a red bra] Does this look like something a depressed woman would wear?
Prue Halliwell: Hmm, maybe you should borrow it.
Piper Halliwell: Okay, time's up. You two gotta go. Go, go in there and be quiet.
Phoebe Halliwell: We will if you will.

Phoebe Halliwell: Whoa, whoa, whoa! You, Leo, last night, dish!
Piper Halliwell: Umm, well, it was nice. It was... well, it was wonderful. We just had a few problems.
Phoebe Halliwell: Problems?
Prue Halliwell: What problems?
Piper Halliwell: Well, it's been a while since, you know, I-I was a little nervous and I kinda kept freezing him
Prue Halliwell: Piper, you didn't?
Phoebe Halliwell: I didn't mean to... the first time.

Piper Halliwell: [Andy opens drawer with tiara in it] Whoa!
Piper Halliwell: Why did you do that?
Piper Halliwell: [Piper picks up tiara] That's why.
Prue Halliwell: Uh, no no no. Wait. That is not possible. How did it get there?
Piper Halliwell: I don't know but you better come up with an answer quick before they unfreeze.
Prue Halliwell: Someone must have planted it there.

Phoebe Halliwell: Did anyone ever think that maybe he's a warlock?
Piper Halliwell: Why is it always someone I'm dating that gets accused of being that? Don't answer that. Answer that. It's safer.

Phoebe Halliwell: Mind control, astral projection, throwing charms, who knows? Prue is right about Rex, which means, I'm dating a warlock.
Piper Halliwell: Been there, done that.

Prue Halliwell: Don't you think that I know that? I mean, how do you think I feel, Phoebe? I'm the one who got us into this situation.
Piper Halliwell: Prue, it's not your fault.
Phoebe Halliwell: It's not.
Prue Halliwell: Yeah, but I'm the one that the Rex tricked. I'm the reason why we're having this conversation.
Phoebe Halliwell: There has gotta to be a way out of this.
Piper Halliwell: Like what? Become fugitives? Something tells me that's not the best way to go about protecting the innocent.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, well, we can't protect the innocent without our powers. And, even worse, if we give them up, we'd be giving them up to evil.
Prue Halliwell: No, we can't let that happen.
Piper Halliwell: Well, we can't let you die in jail, either. Besides, with you behind bars, we'll be divided. Rex wins either way.
Phoebe Halliwell: I don't wanna have to do this.
Piper Halliwell: Neither do I, but we don't have a choice. All we can do is take the leap of faith and hope that somehow it all works out.

Piper Halliwell: How do we know this isn't just a trap?
Rex Buckland: You don't actually. Nevertheless here you are. Powerless, I presume.
Prue Halliwell: Where's Hannah?
Rex Buckland: Lurking. That's what she does best. The lantern, if you please. It all feels a little anticlimactic, don't you think? Too easy, almost. It feels as if we need a more satisfying ending.
Phoebe Halliwell: [Hannah attacks as a panther] Oh, oh.
[Leo heals the Book of Shadows]
Rex Buckland: No. Hannah, now. Quickly.
[Piper freezes her]

Piper Halliwell: Do you really have to go?
Leo Wyatt: Well, I've fixed everything I came here to fix. But I'll be back. Promise.
[Leo kisses Piper]
Leo Wyatt: Nothing can keep me away from you too long.

Phoebe Halliwell: What are you doing?
Prue Halliwell: Just getting rid the Relinquishment spell. However we got our powers back, I certainly I don't want to risk losing them again.
Piper Halliwell: I second that.
Piper Halliwell: Third.
Prue Halliwell: So, witches forever?
Phoebe Halliwell: And damn proud of it.
[Burns up spell]

Rex Buckland: Quite photogenic. Now I should think the police will find this very interesting, to say the least.
Prue Halliwell: Rex?
Phoebe Halliwell: Wait. How did you know that we...
Rex Buckland: What, that you'd be here? Well, let's just say that I've been watching your every move. Yeah, without you knowing it, of course.
Prue Halliwell: You bastard.
Rex Buckland: Don't get too angry, Prue. You really wouldn't want to injure me with your power. I'm the only chance you have. While you were conducting your little prison break, Hannah was retrieving the tiara from your home. You should have gotten rid of it while you had the chance. Personally, I actually thought that was an excellent idea.
Phoebe Halliwell: Astral projection.
Prue Halliwell: What do you want?
Rex Buckland: Your powers, of course. That's why I hired you in the first place, you know, to see if you really were The Charmed Ones. Then I waited to test your strength, see how best to make my move, and here we are.
Phoebe Halliwell: But why all the drama? Why didn't you just kill us and take our powers?
Piper Halliwell: Don't give him any ideas.
Rex Buckland: No, no, no. I have seen exactly what you can do when you've been confronted directly. That is why I opted for blackmail. See, there is a special spell in the book of shadows that strips you of your powers forever, and this device will capture those powers. Then you'll bring them to me.
Prue Halliwell: Go to hell.
Rex Buckland: Yeah, I'd love to, darling. I miss it terribly. And this will help me return with honors. In return, I'll give you the photo and tell the police I simply misplaced the tiara. No theft, no motive for murder, no prison. You really don't have much time, just until the prison guards realize you've escaped.


"Charmed: I've Got You Under My Skin (#1.2)" (1998)
Piper Halliwell: I could panic, and freeze the whole restaurant!

Prue Halliwell: What are you doing?
Piper Halliwell: Uh... nothing just watching a show.
Prue Halliwell: About witches? Are you worried we're going to be burned at the stake?
Piper Halliwell: Ha! Yeah right!

Prue Halliwell: Brittany, are you all right?
Piper Halliwell: I'll call 911.
Prue Halliwell: And tell them what, that she's dying of old age at 25?

Piper Halliwell: A toast to the power of three. Whether we like it or not.

Piper Halliwell: I don't know, it's like our whole lives have been like everybody else. Rushing off to work, going out on bad dates, buying shoes and suddenly we wake up one day and everything is different. We're witches now. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
Phoebe Halliwell: Are you kidding? It's a great thing.
Piper Halliwell: You don't know that. We don't know anything about these powers. Why we have them, what they mean, where they come from. I mean, how do we know it's not... how do we know it's not from evil?
Phoebe Halliwell: Piper, we've been through this. We're good witches.

Piper Halliwell: Bad date?
Prue Halliwell: No. No, no. Not at all. It was great. You know, dinner, movie, sex.
Piper Halliwell: Excuse me? On you're first date? You sleaze.
Prue Halliwell: It wasn't exactly our first date, Piper.
Piper Halliwell: High school doesn't count. That was last decade. Spill it. Ooh, that bad?
Prue Halliwell: No, actually that good. It was... Well, we were naked. But that's not the point. I told myself that things would be different. That we would take it slow. It just shouldn't of happened, that's all.
Phoebe Halliwell: What shouldn't of happened?
Piper Halliwell: Prue slept with Andy.
Phoebe Halliwell: Hello.
Prue Halliwell: Thanks a lot, mouth.
Phoebe Halliwell: Wait, you were gonna tell her but not me? Family meeting.

Prue Halliwell: Piper, what are you talking about?
Piper Halliwell: I'm telling you: I saw something about it in the Book Of Shadows. Okay, look. See? Javna feeds one week out of every year, stealing the life force from the young.
Prue Halliwell: By evoking the black magic power - the evil eye - to sustain eternal youth.
Piper Halliwell: It's gotta be what happened to Britney.
Prue Halliwell: Yeah, but there must be some kind of incantation to reverse it.
Piper Halliwell: There is. The hand of fatima. It says that the Prophet Mohammad centuries ago to banish Javna back to wherever the hell he came from.
Prue Halliwell: Yeah, well, the problem is we don't know who Javna is, let alone where he is.

Piper Halliwell: By the way, is it true that evil beings can't go into a church without being...
Pastor Williams: Evil beings? You mean, like what, vampires?
Piper Halliwell: Vampires? No. I was thinking more on the lines of witches.
Pastor Williams: Witches, huh? Let me out it to you this way: I sure wouldn't wanna risk it.

Piper Halliwell: Well, she kinda, sort of thinks she might be a witch.
Pastor Williams: Witches again, huh?
Piper Halliwell: Not a good thing, is it?
Pastor Williams: Certainly not a question I get everyday. How well do you remember Sunday school lessons? I suggest Exodus 22:18. "Thou shall not suffer a witch to live."
Piper Halliwell: Meaning...
Pastor Williams: If you go by the old school, it means put her to death. She's evil.


"Charmed: Charmed Again: Part 2 (#4.2)" (2001)
[after Shane pushes Piper and Phoebe to the alter with his powers]
Piper Halliwell: What the hell was that?
Sister Agnes: You tell me.

Piper Halliwell: You have to trust us.
Paige Matthews: Trust you, you just froze a nun. How do I know you're not the evil ones?

Cole: Sam?
Leo Wyatt: Her whitelighter.
[referring to Patty]
Cole: Hmmm. Apples don't fall far from the forbidden tree, I see.
Piper: Shhh!

Phoebe: Leo, how is it possible for an angel to even get knocked out. I mean you are after all technically dead.
Leo Wyatt: Three years together and now you're asking these questions.
Piper: Well, uh, I think the more appropriate questions is: How does a whitelighter get somebody knocked up?

Piper Halliwell: We barely got through the funeral and then everything started to go crazy and we haven't had a chance to mourn yet. And that's just not right.

Paige Matthews: I won't stay long. I just wanted to come by and thank you.
Phoebe: For what?
Paige Matthews: For what? You mean, beside from saving my life. I feel like I should bake you a cake or something.
Piper Halliwell: Do you cook?
Paige Matthews: No, no. Not really.

Phoebe: Can I ask you a question?
Paige Matthews: Hmmm.
Piper Halliwell: Why did you come to Prue's funeral? I mean, you never even met her. Right?
Paige Matthews: No. I never did. I don't want this to be taken the wrong way, but I just feel like a part of me lost her too and I just... I felt drawn to her; to all you guys. I guess it was just a part of me trying to find out who I was.
Piper Halliwell: Come on. There's something we need to show you.
Paige Matthews: Show me what?
Phoebe: What good magic can do.

Piper Halliwell: Here these words. Hear my cry spirit from the other side. Come to me, I summon thee. Cross now the Great Divide.
[Patty Halliwell appears]
Phoebe: There's someone here we thought you should meet.
Patty Halliwell: Paige.
Paige Matthews: Mom?
[Patty steps up and embraces Paige]
Patty Halliwell: Welcome home.

[after Piper, Phoebe, and Paige vanquish Shax]
Phoebe: It's not enough. Shax was just the messenger. We need to get The Source.
Paige Matthews: The source of what?
[Piper and Phoebe exchange nervous glances]
Piper Halliwell: Of All Evil.


"Charmed: Carpe Demon (#7.14)" (2005)
Piper Halliwell: Do we look merry to you?

Piper Halliwell: You missed. And if you put a hole in my wall you'll have me to answer to, not some prince.
Drake: My apologies, good woman, but my aim must be true if I am to right John's wrongs.
Piper Halliwell: Right. Just be careful.

Piper Halliwell: What kind of Robin Hood rides a motorcycle?

Piper Halliwell: Sheridan's back?
Phoebe Halliwell: Did I forget to mention that?

Piper Halliwell: Helmets please, people.

Drake: You saved me?
Phoebe Halliwell: Of course. What would you expect from Maid Marian?
Paige Matthews: And your merry men.
Piper Halliwell: Women.

Piper Halliwell: [On the phone] eah, I get that, Rex, but I need you at the club. You're supposed to be there. Valentine's Day is gonna be a very busy night. Can't you ask her to marry you another night?
[pause as Piper listens]
Piper Halliwell: You know what, I'll handle it. Good luck.
[Hangs up]
Piper Halliwell: I hope she says no.

Piper Halliwell: I think he meant to bring out Drake's inner demon so he could use his powers. But then I blasted him mid-spell, so instead we got his inner Robin Hood.


"Charmed: Size Matters (#4.5)" (2001)
Piper: Now that I've been five inches tall, I'll never complain about my height again

Piper: I really think that when you've been a witch for a few months, you'll know the difference between sensing evil and needing a warmer jacket.

Piper: Okay, good. Now that he's gone, I can focus on getting us out of here. Although, I do have to tell you I am not having the best day of my life. It began with an interview where a woman made me feel this big, and now I actually am this big. And next up is being baked. Well, that's just a round about of saying don't panic. I'm going to get us out of here. I'm going to turn this day around.

Piper: Do not go into that house. Did you hear me? I said do not go in! It is like talking to a wall.
Leo Wyatt: She's got the Halliwell hearing.

Piper: Could he be hiding our sister Phoebe there?
Finn: No, he probably shrunk her.
Piper: I'm sorry. He probably what?
Finn: Oh, that's what he does. He takes his wand and shrinks the women for his collection.

Piper: At least we came for you.
[Phoebe groans]
Piper: Phoebe, Paige and I are here now. We have the power of three. Can you say a spell?
[Phoebe moans]
Piper: Okay. We'll figure this out. Paige, let's go over our options.
Paige Matthews: Opts? We have two.We're screwed and we're more screwed.
Piper: We don't need negativity. We need solutions.
Paige Matthews: Well, I'm sorry. I've never been shrunk and covered in clay before.
Piper: Hey! You wanted to be partners so work with me here. Okay? Are you right? We are screwed.
Paige Matthews: Can't you blast your way out of it?
Piper: I tried. I can't move my hands.
Paige Matthews: I could call for something, but what would help? What's the point of having powers if you can't use them.

Phoebe Halliwell: Piper freeze him.
Piper: Oh, he's way too big for my tiny magic.

Piper: The power of point three.


"Charmed: Dead Man Dating (#1.4)" (1998)
[Yama appears in the distance and is galloping toward Piper and Mark Chao]
Mark Chao: Yama!
Piper: Yama? Run!
Mark Chao: It's too late. You better go. Run!
[Piper freezes Yama]
Mark Chao: What happened?
Piper: I'm a good witch remember?
Mark Chao: But how?
Piper: I don't know. I panic, I put up both hands and bad things tend to freeze.
Mark Chao: For how long?
Piper: Not very. Let's go.
[They run down the alley and Yama unfreezes. Yama's eyes glow bright green]

Piper: I've never seen anybody killed before.
Phoebe Halliwell: Jeremy.
Prue Halliwell: Javna.
Piper: I mean humans.

Piper: I snuck the photograph into Andy's interoffice mail.
Mark Chao: My afterlife's in the hands of a cop named Andy.

Phoebe Halliwell: I am so busted, aren't I?
Piper: Are you out of your mind again?
Phoebe Halliwell: No. I'm the Amazing Phoebe.
Piper: This is not funny. Our powers are supposed to be a secret, not a marketable job skill.

Piper: [sobbing] Leave it to me to fall for a *dead guy*!

Piper: Close your eyes. Pretend you can feel my hand on your skin, that my touch gives you comfort. Just close your eyes.
Mark Chao: Where were you all my life?

Mark Chao: For everything you've done for me. I just ask one favour, use them for your sisters surprise birthday party.
Piper: Prue doesn't want a party.
Mark Chao: Birthdays are important. I know, I walked out of my last one and it never occurred to me that I wouldn't get another. She may not know it but she needs to celebrate her birthday, we all do. Don't take it for granted.

Mark Chao: Wong.
Tony Wong: But you're dead.
Mark Chao: Yeah, so are you.
Piper: [Yama appears] Mark, I think you should get outta here.
Mark Chao: Make a wish, you bastard.
[throws Wong on spear]
Piper: No, you can't take him. He's a good man, he doesn't belong with you.
[Yama disappears]


"Charmed: Out of Sight (#1.19)" (1999)
Phoebe Halliwell: Then what's wrong with being a couple?
Piper Halliwell: Well, I thought Leo and I were a couple and then we... coupled and he took off.

Phoebe Halliwell: Josh. He wants to have 'the talk' with Piper.
Prue Halliwell: What talk?
Phoebe Halliwell: Three dates, no sex. There could only be one talk he's talking about. The talk. Safe sex, prior partners, standard dating protocol.
Piper Halliwell: And sex equals relationship.
Prue Halliwell: And you're not sure that you want to be a couple.
Piper Halliwell: Well, it's not that I don't like him.

Piper Halliwell: Eew! I'm not wearing the right shoes for this.

Prue Halliwell: Uh, look, Andy, I need you to get Piper up on the street, okay?
Piper Halliwell: No, Prue, I want to stay. I need to help.
Prue Halliwell: No, you are far too weak to use your powers.
Inspector Andy Trudeau: Her, too?
Prue Halliwell: Look, Andy, will you please just get her out of here?
Inspector Andy Trudeau: Prue, I'm not leaving the two of you alone.
Prue Halliwell: Do I have to use my power on you?
Inspector Andy Trudeau: I'll meet you up on the street.

Phoebe Halliwell: Hey, you ok?
Piper Halliwell: Yeah, I was just thinking, when I was in the storm drain, I was kind of out of it. I kept thinking about Leo. That's weird.
Phoebe Halliwell: Maybe you miss him.
Piper Halliwell: Maybe.

Piper Halliwell: If I'm thinking about Leo, then I'm definitely not thinking about Josh.

Josh: This is important. It could affect the rest of my life.
Piper Halliwell: Well, not if we take precautions.
Josh: What?
Piper Halliwell: I'm not saying I'm ready for that. In fact I'm not ready for that. But when I am ready for that, I'm just saying I will be taking precautions.
Josh: Piper, what are you talking about?
Piper Halliwell: Uh, having... sex. You're not talking about that, are you?


"Charmed: The Witch Is Back (#1.9)" (1998)
Phoebe Halliwell: You've never asked a guy out before?
Piper Halliwell: Not on a real date, no.
Phoebe Halliwell: I don't understand. Am I the only person in this family who's inherited the take a chance gene?
Piper Halliwell: Probably, 'cause if I remember my biology correctly, it's attached to the "Can't Mind My Own Business" gene.
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh. Go.

Melinda Warren: Once Matthew had what he wanted, he told the town council I was a witch and they arrested me. Then they burned me at the stake.
Piper Halliwell: Why didn't you save yourself?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah. Why didn't you use your powers to escape?
Melinda Warren: I had a daughter. Her name was Prudence. She meant everything to me. If I'd used my powers, I would've proven Matthew's charge, and Prudence would've burned, too. So I thought I'll accept this and pray some kind soul will take pity on my daughter and raise her in a safe home. Only then can the Warren line continue. And it must've worked, because here you are.

Prue Halliwell: Grams must've added this one.
Melinda Warren: To increase patience.
Phoebe Halliwell: I bet she used that spell a lot raising us?
Prue Halliwell: We weren't all troublemakers, Phoebe.
Phoebe Halliwell: I was not a troublemaker. I was just...
Piper Halliwell: A pain.
Phoebe Halliwell: A free spirit.
Prue Halliwell: A handful.
Melinda Warren: A Warren. It's a family trait. So are the short tempers, the great cheekbones, the strong wills, and, of course, the powers. All blessings, all signs of where you came from. This book is your connection, and it began with me.

Piper Halliwell: Uh, Leo?
Leo Wyatt: Yeah?
Piper Halliwell: Would you like to go out sometime? With me, that is?
Leo Wyatt: I'd love to. Give me a call.
Piper Halliwell: [Smiles] Okay!

Melinda Warren: But I have to go.
Phoebe Halliwell: Why? Why can't you stay here and have the life that you should have had?
Melinda Warren: Because this isn't my time. It's your time. And Prue's and Piper's.
Piper Halliwell: We don't mind sharing.
Melinda Warren: You three give me great joy. I've seen The Charmed Ones. Good witches. Women of strength and grace.
Phoebe Halliwell: Tell me what you see.
Melinda Warren: I see the future. Many more generations of my beautiful daughters. I see my dreams fulfilled. Oh, thank you for that.

Piper: But aren't we, like, raising the dead? What if she's all...
Phoebe: I read The Book of Shadows very carefully. She will come back as a real live person, flesh and blood. She will have her powers too. Our powers.
[picks up a knife]
Piper: What's that for?
Phoebe: Well, the spell works by blood calling blood, so it shouldn't hurt... much.
[Phoebe cuts her finger with the knife]
Phoebe: I lied, I lied. Okay, come on guys. It'll be just like the summer by the lake. Remember when we made a oath blood to be friends forever, not just sisters?
Piper: I remember my finger got infected
Prue: [Prue takes the knife off of Phoebe and stabs her finger] Ow. Yeah, but the oath worked.
[Prue hands the knife to piper]
Piper: And I couldn't go in the water for three weeks. Don't hand me that knife.
Prue: How are you gonna cut yourself?
Piper: I'm not.
Phoebe: Piper...
Piper: I can't stand the sight of blood.
Prue: Evil beings have blown up in our attic...
Phoebe: Disintegrated to dust right before our very eyes...
Prue: And you're afraid of a little drop of blood?
Piper: Fine, just cut my finger.
[holds out her hand to Phoebe]
Piper: [Piper covers her eyes and Phoebe stabs the knife in her finger] Ow!

Phoebe: It'll be just like the summer by the lake. Remember when we made that blood oath to be friends forever, not just sisters?
Piper: I remember my finger got infected.


"Charmed: Styx Feet Under (#7.5)" (2004)
Angel of Death: People have to die in the order on my list. If one person doesn't, all death ceases. Now I have to work overtime to collect the souls I've been unable to claim, to undo the damage you've done to the grand design.
Piper Halliwell: Damage? We've done more than almost anyone to protect your grand design.
Paige Matthews: Look, we should leave it. We have a demon to go after.
Piper Halliwell: [Ignores her] We've given up a lot to make sure you have *less* work. I have two kids and a business, and I still find time to fight demons, too. It's not our fault you can't keep up.
Angel of Death: That isn't my problem.
Piper Halliwell: It sure as hell isn't my problem
Paige Matthews: Stop yelling at Death!

Paige Matthews: Oh, no.
Piper Halliwell: Oh, no? What could be more oh, no, than they're taking my body away for an autopsy?
Paige Matthews: Agent Brody.
Piper Halliwell: What's he doing here?
Paige Matthews: Mm, probably watching me talk to myself.

Phoebe Halliwell: What are you wearing?
Piper Halliwell: You didn't tell her.
Paige Matthews: No. Okay, fine. Piper's dead.
Phoebe Halliwell: WHAT?
Piper Halliwell: I'm not dead. I'm Death. As if my life wasn't busy enough already.

Piper Halliwell: You scared me.
Elderly Man: I scared *you*? Who are you, and what's happening?
Piper Halliwell: Well, I think you might actually be, you know, dead. I know. Bummer, huh?
Elderly Man: Are you here to take me away?
Piper Halliwell: I don't know. I think so. See, I'm kinda new at this.

Elderly Man: [White light appears] What's happening?
Piper Halliwell: Good question.
Elderly Man: Where does that go?
Piper Halliwell: I'm not sure, but I think I'm supposed to take you in there. What do you say?
[They walk towards the light]
Piper Halliwell: If it makes you feel any better, I'm a little scared too.

Piper Halliwell: I'm not doing this anymore. I give up. I quit.
Angel of Death: You can't quit, Piper. Not until you catch up.
Piper Halliwell: You can't make me take my sister's soul. I won't do it.
Angel of Death: We don't get to decide who lives or dies. Only circumstances can change someone's fate.
Piper Halliwell: Well, then I won't collect any more souls. I'll go on strike.
Angel of Death: So to save your sister, you would threaten to stop all death.
Piper Halliwell: You got it.
Angel of Death: That's rather selfish of you, don't you think? Unless, of course, you think that death is pointless.
Piper Halliwell: Well, I-...
Angel of Death: It's not, you know. Far from it. Life only has meaning specifically because there is an end. Death is what forces people to live.

Piper Halliwell: Phoebe? What are you doing here?
Phoebe Halliwell: Remembering what we're all about.
Piper Halliwell: What we're all about is keeping you alive.
Phoebe Halliwell: Not at the expense of an innocent.
Piper Halliwell: Phoebe, this death thing might not be very real to you, but it is very real to me. I've seen it. I *am* it.
Phoebe Halliwell: Piper, we've all seen it, and it's never stopped us before.
Piper Halliwell: That's before we knew you were next on the list. Why are you not listening to me? I'm trying to save you.
Phoebe Halliwell: Because this isn't just about me. Look, I don't wanna die, but I'm not gonna sit around and wait for an innocent to die either. And I think that's why I needed to take that sabbatical. To remind myself of that.


"Charmed: Morality Bites (#2.2)" (1999)
Piper Halliwell: And you're blonde.
Prue Halliwell: Yeah, strange.

Melinda Halliwell-Wyatt: Mommy, mommy, mommy.
Piper Halliwell: Uh, I think you have the wrong house. Certainly the wrong mommy.

Piper Halliwell: Well, apparently going to the past isn't the same as going to the future. I just wish that since we are in our future bodies that we could have some memory of what's happened in the last ten years, like how I got a daughter.

Prue Halliwell: Okay, apparently my power isn't the only one that's grown. You just froze...
Piper Halliwell: Everything. What a difference a decade makes.

Prue Halliwell: Leo, you were supposed to bring her back here.
Leo Wyatt: No, I said I'd go to her. And I did. To explain to her why she has to pay for her crime.
Piper Halliwell: You're our guide, you're supposed to protect us and you're just gonna let her die.
Prue Halliwell: You're signing her death warrant.
Leo Wyatt: I'm to protect the greater good. If Phoebe lives, if you use your magic to save her, then the persecutions will continue. And our daughter will grow into a world where her powers punishable by death. Do you want that?
Piper Halliwell: Of course not.
Leo Wyatt: Well, then it has to end with Phoebe. She has to die.
Prue Halliwell: Like hell

Leo Wyatt: You don't have to bind her powers, Piper. We agreed that I'd take care of her and I will, I promise.
Prue Halliwell: I know you will. So we were together. Does that mean you clipped your wings for me?
Leo Wyatt: No. You wouldn't let me. We tried to make it work with her powers, and it didn't, and all this happened.
Piper Halliwell: Were we happy? Just for a little while were we happy?
Leo Wyatt: Very.

Piper Halliwell: That's what we do best.
[they kiss. Leo orbs out]
Piper Halliwell: I hate when he does that.


"Charmed: Nymphs Just Wanna Have Fun (#5.19)" (2003)
Tull: Xavier? Where are you?
Piper: You're stepping on him.

Piper: [about Wyatt] He looks so innocent... he has no idea what me and Auntie Paige did today.
Leo: They turned a very bad man into a very big tree.

Piper: [about Wyatt] He looks so innocent... he has no idea what mommy and Auntie Paige did today.
Leo: They turned a very bad man into a very big tree.

Phoebe: Oh, are we back to blaming you again?
Piper: Yeah.
Phoebe: Just checking.

Leo: All right. Rock on.
Piper: Don't do that.
Leo: Rock on.
Piper: Give it up, man.
Leo: What?
Piper: Give it up!
Leo: I'll show you give it up! You give it up, is what I'm saying right now!

Piper: You know, it's like sports. You can't lose your starting job due to injury.
Paige: Vanquishing demons is not a sport, Piper.
Piper: It is if you're good at it.


"Charmed: Oh My Goddess!: Part 2 (#5.23)" (2003)
Piper: What are you going to do? Scurry for mother nature and have a wicked word with her?

Leo Wyatt: As an Elder I have the power to take your pain away.
Piper: You can't make me forget you.

Piper: [Piper and Paige walk in on Phoebe surrounded by men] Phoebe, we need to talk.
Phoebe: [In a relaxed voice] Yes, this world would be such a lovely place if everyone just talked more.

Piper: Time for a morality check. Leo did not give us this power so we could form armies or love cults.

Piper: Apparently it's one of my powers to keep an eye on you. What is going on here?
Paige: Oh, I'm just building an army. I figured what better way to smite the titans than with hordes of demons, right?
Piper: Wrong. All of you, out.
Demon: We answer only to our liege.
Piper: I see.
Paige: They're very loyal. And you know what? I don't know why I was wasting my time studying witchcraft when I clearly should've been earning my general stripes. Hmm.
Piper: I said go! *Now!*
[ground shakes]
Paige: What'd you have to do that for? I had followers!
Piper: You can't have followers. None of us can. Now, come on, before I unleash my wrath on you.

Piper: What are they doing here?
Phoebe: Oh, worshipping me, adoring me, exalting my name. There is so much love in this room I can barely stand it.


"Charmed: The Fourth Sister (#1.7)" (1998)
Phoebe Halliwell: [while checking out Leo] My Santa how you've changed.
[pause]
Phoebe Halliwell: [watching Leo leave] Oh. Those must be quite possibly the finest glutes in the city.
Piper Halliwell: In the entire state.
Phoebe Halliwell: In all the land.
Piper Halliwell: I saw him first.
Phoebe Halliwell: Uh-uh.
Piper Halliwell: Uh-uh.
Phoebe Halliwell: Uh-uh.
Piper Halliwell: Uh-uh.
Phoebe Halliwell: Huh?
Piper Halliwell: Huh.
Phoebe Halliwell: Awh. Oh.

Phoebe Halliwell: Okay. Look Prue, I think we need to put some major closer on this or we're gonna be in rocking chairs slurping oatmeal out of rubber spoons and I'm still gonna hear about Roger. Piper, am I a boyfriend thief?
Piper Halliwell: Totally.
Phoebe Halliwell: Besides Roger, whom again Prue, I never touched.
Piper Halliwell: My boyfriend. Billy Wilson.
Phoebe Halliwell: Billy W... Eight grade Billy Wilson?
Piper Halliwell: You kissed him at homecoming.
Phoebe Halliwell: No, I did not kiss him at homecoming. I was helping him find a contact lens.
Piper Halliwell: Oh please. You were all over him with your breasts all... whatever...
Phoebe Halliwell: I didn't even have breasts back then.
Piper Halliwell: Phoebe, you've always had breasts.

Leo Wyatt: So, does Phoebe work here too?
Piper Halliwell: Phoebe? Work. No. No. No. No. No. No. She's probably at her gay and lesbean group meeting right about now. So what'll it be?

Prue Halliwell: Kali. Kali. Kali.
Piper Halliwell: There, there. An evil sorceress cursed into her own dimension. She appears in reflections and has the power to possess...
Prue Halliwell: ...innocents and use them as pawns to steal a witch's power.
Piper Halliwell: Wait. I don't understand. So she's using Aviva to try to turn us into bad witches?
Phoebe Halliwell: Does it say anything about how to get rid of her?
Prue Halliwell: Yeah. To get ride of her; shatter her reflection. However the hell we do that. Here.

Kali: Hello Phoebe. How's the arm?
Phoebe Halliwell: You're not Aviva?
Kali: You're not kidding.
Aviva: Phoebe! Help me!
Kali: Never mind. My power's greater then yours Prue. It's only a matter of time.
Phoebe Halliwell: Time? Piper, that's it! Freeze her!
Piper Halliwell: Aviva doesn't freeze.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, but Kali will.
Kali: No!
[Aviva falls to floor while Kali freezes]
Piper Halliwell: Prue! The mirror! Get her to the mirror!
Kali: No!
[Kali vanishes after Phoebe breaks the mirror]

Piper Halliwell: Uh, guys, we have about twenty seconds until they unfreeze.
Phoebe Halliwell: How did you find out about us?
Aviva: I'm gonna need more than twenty seconds for that.


"Charmed: The Truth Is Out There... and It Hurts (#1.8)" (1998)
Piper Halliwell: Ask it what a day off feels like. That was my boss, Martin. I have to get back to the restaurant.
Prue Halliwell: You're kidding!
Piper Halliwell: There's a convention in town and business is just crazy.
Phoebe Halliwell: But you worked a double shift yesterday and the day before that. He's working you to death, Piper.
Prue Halliwell: I thought you were gonna talk to Martin about this weeks ago.
Piper Halliwell: I never got around to it.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, well, tell him to stuff it. Tell him you're taking the night off and that's that.
Piper Halliwell: I know. You're right. I will. Hello, Martin? No, I know what you want, but... Okay. No, it's not a problem. I'll be right there.
Prue Halliwell: Wow. You told him.
Phoebe Halliwell: Beware the wrath of Piper.

Piper Halliwell: You cast a Truth Spell?
Prue Halliwell: Yes. Look, please, no more questions.
Piper Halliwell: Why?
Prue Halliwell: I wanted to know what Andy would think of me if he found out I was a witch.
Piper Halliwell: Oh.
Phoebe Halliwell: I can't believe it.
Prue Halliwell: Oh, look who's talking, little Miss Spell-of-the-Week.
Phoebe Halliwell: No, no. I mean, I can't believe you actually took my advice. The biggest pooper at the wicca party has finally used her power for personal gain. It's about time.
Piper Halliwell: Personal? It's affecting us. Prue, what have you done?
Prue Halliwell: The spell was only supposed to work on me. It said those in this house. I thought I was alone.
Piper Halliwell: Well, obviously, you weren't.
Piper Halliwell: Wait! We have to undo it right now, fast.
Prue Halliwell: Can't. Twenty-four-hour time limit, which means until eight o'clock tonight, everybody who comes into contact with us will have no choice but to speak the truth.
Piper Halliwell: What do you mean no choice?
Prue Halliwell: Exactly that. Ask me a question.
Phoebe Halliwell: I'm game. Prue, what do you think of me?
Prue Halliwell: While I admire your confidence and your fearlessness, your utter lack of responsibility frustrates me to no end. Oh God, that is so enough.
Piper Halliwell: Oh, my God. This could be very dangerous.

Phoebe Halliwell: I'm kinda digging it. Piper, what do you really think of your boss?
Piper Halliwell: I think he's a self-serving jerk who must have a very small penis. Oh, my God! I'm gonna be so fired!
Piper Halliwell: Oh, my god! I'm gonna be so fired!
Prue Halliwell: No, no, no. It's ok because once the spell ends, no one will remember what they've heard. You guys, I just wanted to see how Andy would react.
Phoebe Halliwell: What a way to come out of the broom closet!

Piper Halliwell: I was just wondering, do you ever... think of me?
Leo Wyatt: Yeah.
Piper Halliwell: In what way? As a friend sort of way or...?
Leo Wyatt: You have beautiful eyes.
Piper Halliwell: That's a good way.
Leo Wyatt: I'm sorry. That was totally inappropriate, wasn't it?
Piper Halliwell: No, not at all, eh. Oh, what the hell. Leo, how do you feel about women who make the first move?
Leo Wyatt: I don't know. I'm still waiting for it to happen.
Piper Halliwell: Goodness.
[she kisses him]
Leo Wyatt: Uh, how do you feel about guys who make the second move?
Leo Wyatt: Love 'em.
[he kisses her]

Martin: Why spend money on more employees when I know you'll do it and you won't complain? I got a bargain - all the work for half the price. Piper, I - I don't know why I said that.
Piper Halliwell: Too late, Martin. Truth's out and so am I. You don't deserve me. I quit.


"Charmed: Feats of Clay (#1.11)" (1999)
Piper Halliwell: Sorry, Doug, too pooped to pop.
[let's vase fall instead of freezing it]

Phoebe Halliwell: We can't live together forever. What do we expect, to be sixty years old and still be sharing clothes and a cat?
Piper Halliwell: Well, now that you put it that way, no. I don't want to live with you anymore.

Prue Halliwell: Where's Phoebe?
Piper Halliwell: Upstairs. But you might want to...
[pause]
Piper Halliwell: ... knock.
Prue Halliwell: Phoebe, we need to talk...
Phoebe Halliwell: [naked in bed] Yes, we do!
Prue Halliwell: Ohhh!
[leaves]

Phoebe Halliwell: He totally used me, Piper. He just used me to get to Prue.
Piper Halliwell: I'm sorry.
Phoebe Halliwell: Thanks for not saying, I told you so." Why didn't I see it coming? What am I? A sucker for punishment?
Piper Halliwell: No. You see the good in people, and that's never wrong. Besides, the wrong guys are usually the most interesting.

Piper Halliwell: Uh, Doug, what about Shelley?
Doug: Who cares about Shelley when I've got Thursday, Friday, and Saturday all lined up and waiting.
[to Phoebe]
Doug: I don't believe I've had the pleasure.
Piper Halliwell: I don't believe you will. Off limits.


"Charmed: The Seven Year Witch (#7.16)" (2005)
Piper Halliwell: What are you exactly? Ghost, demon, poltergeist, nightmare?
Cole Turner: None of the above. We're caught in a cosmic void... between life and death.
Piper Halliwell: I'm stuck with you?
Cole Turner: No. If you play your cards right, you can get out of this nasty limbo. I'm the one who's here for all eternity.
Piper Halliwell: Paying penance for your evil past.
Cole Turner: You always were the smart one.
Piper Halliwell: Cut the crap.
Cole Turner: And direct. I miss that. Actually no, I don't.

Cole Turner: You've tried going upstairs twice, out the front door four times, and through the wall five.
[Piper is pushed out of the wall and back into the living room and falls on the floor against the couch with a thud]
Piper Halliwell: Unh!
Cole Turner: Make that six times. But, hey, you haven't tried the chimney yet.
Piper Halliwell: I thought ghosts could go any damn place they pleased.
Cole Turner: You're still attached to your body. You're not a ghost. But you will be if you don't start trusting me. There is only one way out of here.
Piper Halliwell: The last Halliwell that trusted you ended up burying your demonic spawn.
Cole Turner: Not one of my finer moments, but Phoebe'll make a great mom. Can you blame me for wanting to be the dad?
Piper Halliwell: You're wasting your time.
Cole Turner: Now is that any way to treat family?

[Sandra an Elder orbs in]
Sandra: Don't worry. Leo's Fine.
Piper: So then where is he?
Sandra: Piper, the Elders have come to the consensus that Leo has lost his way. So we've sent him on the path to following his destiny.
Drake Robin: Like the Prodigal son out to find his way in the world?
Piper: Uh, you know what, this Elder speak is not working for me. I need some straight answers, what exactly did you do to him?
Sandra: We erased his memories and put him back on Earth as a mortal. Somewhere you'll never find him.
Phoebe: What? He doesn't remember anything; he doesn't remember Piper, or his sons, nothing?
Sandra: Not even having been an Elder.
Piper: That's crazy. You don't have the right to wipe out someone's mind, an entire life.
[Emphasis]
Piper: My life!

Piper Halliwell: Oh no, am I dead again?

Drake Robin: Leo and Piper's love, it's epic, it's massive. It's Romeo and Juliet, Anthony and Cleopatra, Brad and Jennifer.
Piper: All tragedies, I might add.


"Charmed: From Fear to Eternity (#1.13)" (1999)
Prue Halliwell: If he can kill thirteen unmarried witches before midnight, he'll be freed from the underworld to wreak his terror every single day.
Phoebe Halliwell: Unmarried? Like being single didn't have enough problems.
Piper Halliwell: You can never be too rich or too safe.
Phoebe Halliwell: You know, that's why I like shopping with Piper!

Phoebe Halliwell: Oh, look. A lady bug.
Prue Halliwell: Is that bad luck?
[Piper gives Prue a sarcastic look]
Phoebe Halliwell: Actually, Grams once said that whatever direction it flies it, it's supposed to find your ideal mate. We got to try it.
[Phoebe flicks at the ladybug. It lands on a guy's shoulder]
Piper Halliwell: [embarassed] Oh.
Piper Halliwell: So, does a positive superstition cancel out a negative one?
Piper Halliwell: I don't know.
Phoebe Halliwell: What's going on?
Prue Halliwell: That guy has been talking to Piper all day and she's been avoiding him because she...
[a bunch of food drops in Prue's lap]
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh, no.
Piper Halliwell: You should've thrown the...
Prue Halliwell: You know what, Piper, don't say it. I'm going to have to go home and change.
Phoebe Halliwell: Be careful. I love you.
Prue Halliwell: Yeah.

[after Piper has a lot of mishaps]
Piper Halliwell: Today's just not my day!

Phoebe Halliwell: I love you.
Prue Halliwell: Yeah, me too.
Piper Halliwell: I wonder if she knows she does that.
[What she meant it's that Prue never says I love you]

Phoebe Halliwell: Well, he pushed her into a pool and then...
Prue Halliwell: And mom helped me out.
Piper Halliwell: Mom?
Prue Halliwell: Okay, I know it sounds crazy but I saw her. It was just like my dream. She was this incredible vision, so peaceful and she took my hand and brought me to the surface.
Piper Halliwell: That doesn't sound crazy. I wish I could've seen her.


"Charmed: Black as Cole (#4.8)" (2001)
Cole Turner: Speaking of unanswered questions...
Phoebe Halliwell: There is a demon on the loose, Cole, we don't have time for this.
Cole Turner: Shouldn't we make time for it?
Phoebe Halliwell: No, not now, we shouldn't.
Piper Halliwell: What are you guys talking about?
Phoebe Halliwell: Nothing.
Cole Turner: Nothing.

Cole: [entering Manor with Phoebe, both are covered in green goo] Don't you think we should talk about this?
Phoebe: Talk about what?
Piper: Wow, looks like you two got a juicy one.
Phoebe: Yeah, but unfortunately no the one who kills witches.
Piper: How do you know?
Cole: Because upper-level demons have a human form and they bleed red, not green.
Piper: Ah.
[Phoebe heads upstairs]
Piper: .
Cole: Where are you going?
Phoebe: I'm going up to take a shower first and then I'm going to check The Book of Shadows. I wanna ID this demon I'm wearing, try to find some answers.
Cole: Speaking of unanswered questions...
Phoebe: There is a demon in the loose Cole, we don't have time for this.
Cole: Shouldn't we make time for it?
Phoebe: No, not now we shouldn't.
Piper: What are you guys talking about?
Phoebe: Nothing.
Cole: Nothing.
[shakes head]
Phoebe: Please Cole, let's just focus on vanquishing the demon.
Cole: Fine. I'll go see what I can find out.
[shimmers out]

Piper: What happened between you and Cole?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah that. Um, I'm not exactly sure... He asked me to marry him.
Piper: What? He did what? He did.
Phoebe: More or less.
Piper: What did you say?
Phoebe: I didn't know what to say. I was too surprised. All my power of premonition and I never saw that one coming.
Piper: Uh, wow. I-I-I don't think a witch is allowed to marry a demon. Heh-honey we can't have a demon in the family.
Phoebe: Piper, that is the least of my concerns right now.
Piper: Well, don't kid yourself, if you decide to go through with this... it's going to be a source of huge concerns, especially for them
[She points up]
Phoebe: I have to be concerned with my own concerns, you know
[Pause]
Phoebe: I love Cole, you know I do, but demon stuff aside; I just never thought of myself as the marrying type. It's not something I fantasized about. Ever.
Piper: So then what are you going to tell him?
Phoebe: I don't know.
Piper: Well you have to tell him something because a question like that doesn't go away by itself.
Phoebe: Are you sure?
Piper: Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

Paige: Hey I think I got something.
[looking through the Book of Shadows]
Paige: Upper-level demon who likes to kill witches using a athame, sometimes energy balls. His name is Belthozar.
Leo Wyatt: [shaking his head] I don't think so.
Paige: Why not?
Leo Wyatt: Well because that's Cole in his demonic form.
Piper: You knew he was half-demon.
Paige: Yeah, but I didn't know he could turn into that.

Paige: [Leo and Piper kiss] Ahh. That's sweet. You two should get married. Unlike Phoebe and Cole.
Leo: You don't think they should?
Paige: I don't know. I guess it's not my business. Probably just reeling from the fact that Cole killed people.
Piper: Yeah, but that wasn't Cole, it was Belthozar.
Paige: Splitting hairs if you ask me.
Leo: It's not though. His human half had absolutely nothing to do with any of that. It was totally subjecated. Phoebe's right, he's an innocent.


"Charmed: Secrets and Guys (#1.14)" (1999)
Piper Halliwell: A good witch is a clean witch.

Leo Wyatt: The truth is I led you on to believe I was coming back.
Piper Halliwell: Leo, you are back.

Piper Halliwell: Harry!
Harry: Hey. You must be Pippy.
Piper Halliwell: Piper, and...
Harry: You know, your voice doesn't do justice. You're actually attractive.

Piper Halliwell: Maybe I should talk to Leo.
Phoebe Halliwell: Sure. Hold on a second.
[sees Leo floating while working on chandelier]
Leo Wyatt: Phoebe!
Phoebe Halliwell: Let me call you back
Leo Wyatt: Phoebe wait. I can explain.
Phoebe Halliwell: You are a warlock, aren't you?
Leo Wyatt: No. Wait. Wait. Wait. Think about it. If I was a warlock and I wanted to hurt you, don't you think I would have done it the last time I was here?
Phoebe Halliwell: OK. Good point, but still most normal handymen use ladders to fix chandeliers. Are you a witch?
Leo Wyatt: no.
Phoebe Halliwell: Then what are you?
Leo Wyatt: Um...

Phoebe Halliwell: Okay. Okay. You don't have to beat it out of me. Leo is a Whitelighter. They're sort of guardian angels for witches. And they're not supposed to get involved with witches. But Leo couldn't help it. He fell in love with you and that broke all the rules and got him in all sorts of trouble. And even though he'll love you forever you will probably never see him again.
Piper Halliwell: What? Phoebe, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Oh god. Don't be so silly.
Phoebe Halliwell: That's me. Silly.


"Charmed: Love Hurts (#1.21)" (1999)
Prue Halliwell: Okay, so that spell switched all of our powers.
Piper Halliwell: Am I going to get yelled at?
Phoebe Halliwell: It's a supernatural Freaky Friday.

Piper Halliwell: [as Daisy is about to leave] If you leave, Alec *will* find you, and Leo's death will mean nothing. You're not going *anywhere*!

Piper Halliwell: Okay I can do this. Now heal. Come on heal. Why aren't these working?

Piper Halliwell: I love you, Leo. I found it. Leo? I love you. Can you hear me?
[Heals Leo]
Piper Halliwell: I love you, Leo. Please hear me.
Leo Wyatt: Piper.
Piper Halliwell: Oh, thank God. Oh! tried so hard, and I couldn't make it work before. Why didn't you tell me?
Leo Wyatt: That love was the trigger? You had to find that out on your own. Why couldn't you tell me?
Piper Halliwell: I don't know. I was afraid. I was afraid if I admitted how I really felt that it would hurt more if I lost you. I'm so sorry. I should've said it before.
Leo Wyatt: It's better late than never.
[kisses her]

Leo Wyatt: Human? Yes, it does. I was actually born right here in San Francisco. I had lived here all the way up till I went off to the war.
Piper Halliwell: You mean, like Vietnam?
Leo Wyatt: No. World war II. I left med school and enlisted as a medic. And I wanted to help save people, not shoot them. The last thing I remember, I was bandaging a soldier's head wound, and I felt a sharp pain. And then the next thing I know, I was floating, surrounded by Whitelighters. And they offered me immortality and a chance to help special people like you. And I never once ever doubted that I didn't make the right choice till I met you. Ever since, all I can think is how I'd give it up to have a mortal life again, to have a family and grow old with you.


"Charmed: Hell Hath No Fury (#4.3)" (2001)
Phoebe: Well, because she's our sister.
Piper: Not for long.
[Piper and Phoebe run out of the attic]
Cole: [Cole grabs a chair and sits down]
Phoebe: [Phoebe runs back into the room] Are you coming?
Cole: To vanquish your sister?
[laughs]
Cole: I think I'll sit this one out.

Phoebe: Cole is not your problem, Piper, and you know it.
[They fight]
Paige: Book!
[the Book of Shadows orbs to her]
Paige: Please let there be something in here.
[Cole conjures an energy ball]
Phoebe: Cole don't! You think I abandoned you. You think it's my fault that Prue died. You blame me, you should just admit it.
[Piper hits her]
Paige: You don't wanna kill me, Piper, you don't even know me! It's not about me, it's not about Phoebe is it?
Phoebe: Leo!
[Leo orbs in. Piper swipes at Paige. Paige orbs behind Piper]
Paige: Phoebe's not the sister who abandoned you, it's Prue isn't it?
[Piper grabs Paige around the throat]
Phoebe: Leo do something!
[Leo orbs Paige and Piper out]
Cole: Where did he take them?
Phoebe: To what Piper's really angry at.
[Cut to scene of Piper, Paige and Leo orbing into Mausoleum. Piper backs away, the camera pans to show the three of them are standing in front of Prue's urn chamber]
Paige: Tell her Piper! It's alright to hate her!
[Piper shakes her head and turns to the door]
Paige: You should hate her!
[Piper grabs the door which is locked and shakes it]
Paige: When my parents died I hated them for it! I was alone and I hated them! It is okay to hate Prue!
[Piper turns around and walks up to Paige]
Piper: How dare you!
[Piper turns and runs to Prue's urn chamber and hits it]
Piper: How dare you leave me! How could you go and die and leave me here alone! Please come back! I need you! Please come back! Aah!
[Piper falls to the floor crying, Leo walks to her]
Leo Wyatt: It's okay, it's okay honey.
Piper: It's not okay. I mean she risked her life everyday and she never thought about what would happen to me and Phoebe if she was gone!
Leo Wyatt: I know.
Piper: How could she think that I could live without her?

Piper: You are so... busted?
Phoebe: Hello!
Paige Matthews: You stole our sacred book so you could perform magical plastic surgery on yourself?
Paige Matthews: You think I did this on purpose? My body was perfectly fine just as it was. Thank you.
Phoebe: Piper, you could have just blown up a dozen innocent people.
Piper: I took a chance.
Phoebe: See? Are you listening to yourself?
Piper: What happened?
Paige Matthews: I don't know. They just grew.
Piper: Oh, right. And you had nothing to do with that.
Phoebe: Did you cast any spells?
Paige Matthews: One.
[Phoebe gives her a nod]
Paige Matthews: Five.
Piper: Five?
Phoebe: Okay, what did you do just before you turned into Betty Boop?
Paige Matthews: Well. I cast a spell on this slimeball I work with so I could give him a taste of his own medicine.
Phoebe: That the slimeball?
Piper: And that's the backfire.
Paige Matthews: Backfire?
Phoebe: You misused magic to make him the object of ogling, and the spell backfired and did the same thing to you.
Piper: Which you would have learned if you had bothered to ask. But now instead of vanquishing demons, we're gonna have to spend the afternoon fixing your mess.
Phoebe: Okay, Piper, call Leo and get him to orb this slimeball back home. And we have to protect him until we can figure out a way to reverse the spell. Paige and I will grab the book and meet you there.
[Paige looks down at herself and pouts]

Phoebe: Uh, Piper? Promise me you're not going to overreact.
Piper: Is that even possible?

Piper: Evil got the Book of Shadows! How did evil get the Book of Shadows?
Phoebe: Oh, no!
Piper: 'Oh, no!' Pheobe? A demon has the Book of Shadows! 'Oh, no!' doesn't quite cover it!


"Charmed: Pre-Witched (#3.17)" (2001)
Piper Halliwell: You know, this trunk would go great at the foot of our bed.
Prue Halliwell: Yeah, my foot would look great on your butt. You are so not taking that, okay? It holds all of our ritual stuff.

Piper Halliwell: What, are we like in the Warlocks Guide of San Francisco?

Piper Halliwell: You know, just because I'm moving out doesn't mean we still can't do this.
Phoebe: What? Mainline caffeine while waxing on warlock issues?
Piper Halliwell: No, hangout. You know, I don't wanna be one of those old married leapers that nobody thinks is fun anymore.
Prue Halliwell: You've never been fun Piper.
Piper Halliwell: I've always been fun Prue. I am just Mrs. Fun now.
Prue Halliwell: Oh, Mrs. Fun.

Prue Halliwell: Spell?
Phoebe: Check! Potion?
Piper Halliwell: Check! Sharp painful implement?
Prue Halliwell: [Prue holds up a fireplace tool] Check!
Phoebe: Ooh, nice choice.
Prue Halliwell: Thank you.

Phoebe: And why would I spend my time on a wimp who's got mother issues?
Prue Halliwell: I don't know. But why should I believe anything that you say? I mean, you don't even know the difference between what belongs to you and what belongs to, oh, let's say Macy's.
Piper Halliwell: [In the middle again] Alrighty then. Are we done?


"Charmed: Power Outage (#3.7)" (2000)
Phoebe Halliwell: Hey, guys, what's going on?
Prue Halliwell, Piper Halliwell: Shut up!
Prue Halliwell: You know what? I am so sorry that I didn't check with you about your stupid little club, I was too busy being the only witch concerned about the triad.
Phoebe Halliwell: Sisters, what has gotten into you two?
Prue Halliwell: By the way, you owe me for a car tow and a tank of gas, you little leech!
Phoebe Halliwell: I'm sorry. Is it gang up on Phoebe day and nobody told me?
Piper Halliwell: News flash! The world does not revolve around Phoebe.
Prue Halliwell: Yes! So while you get to spend the night screwing the DA, we are stuck picking up your crap.
Phoebe Halliwell: [Phoebe is infected with rage] What's the matter, Prue? Jealous? All work and no play making you even more boring?
Prue Halliwell: Oh, yeah! There's a lot to be jealous that I am still living off of my sisters.

Prue Halliwell: I am so sick of the fact that I've been saddled with the two of you my entire life.
Phoebe Halliwell: Whatever, I'm leaving.
Piper Halliwell: Oh, sure, you're such an immature brat! You leave every time you can't hack something.
Phoebe Halliwell: Well, there's nothing keeping me here now, is there?
Prue Halliwell: Oh, well, I see that you've inherited dad's talent of bailing.
Phoebe Halliwell: That's because the two of us couldn't deal with living with the two of you.
Piper Halliwell: Well, at least I'm not so stupid I had to do college twice.
Phoebe Halliwell: Well, at least I actually had the courage to go back to college. What's the matter, Piper? The real world too much for you? I am so sick of the two of you ganging up on me and judging me.
Prue Halliwell: I am so sick of saving your asses.
Piper Halliwell: I'm sick of being taken for granted and those are mine.
[pulls off Phoebe's earrings]
Phoebe Halliwell: Ouch! Bitch!
[sisters fight using their powers on each other; the design on Book of Shadows pulls apart breaking the sisterly bond in the Power of Three]

Piper: Leo, you obviously don't have sisters. One minute you're arguing about something and then suddenly you're arguing about who stole whose Malibu Barbie in 1979.

Prue Halliwell: What happened to our powers?
Leo Wyatt: That's what we have to figure out. Let's start with your little "tiff".
Piper Halliwell: Well, that's a bit of an understatement. It was big.
Leo Wyatt: How big?
Prue Halliwell: Um, do you remember Pearl Harbor?
[Prue pantomimes an explosion]


"Charmed: Witch Trial (#2.1)" (1999)
Phoebe Halliwell: I saw him first!
Piper Halliwell: Merging with the first quote.

Dan Gordon: Jenny? Jenny, come on. Talk to me.
Phoebe Halliwell: Whoa!
Piper Halliwell: Whoa!
Prue Halliwell: Whoa!
Jenny Gordon: International Operator please. Saudi Arabia.
Prue Halliwell: Saudi Arabia?
Dan Gordon: I'm sorry. We're moving in next door. Or at least we're trying to. Our phone's not hooked up yet.

Phoebe Halliwell: Stevie said all we had to do was to connect. Well here's the connection.
[points to Kit's collar]
Piper Halliwell: Kit's collar?
Phoebe Halliwell: No! The triquetra.

Rob: Clubs are an extremely high risk business, Piper. You could lose your shirt.
Piper Halliwell: Well, it wouldn't be the first time today.


"Charmed: Just Harried (#3.15)" (2001)
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: We are gathered here today to unite two souls as one. Do you, Leo Wyatt, and Piper Halliwell, join us here of your own free will to acknowledge the eternal bond shared by both of you.
Leo Wyatt: I do.
Piper Halliwell: I do.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: You may face each other, join hands. Leo, you may recite your vows.
Leo Wyatt: Piper, through all the tears and struggles, I always knew in my heart that we'd make it here. I promise to love and respect you from this point forward as your husband, as my wife, my lover, my friend, and my soul mate. All I am is yours.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Piper.
Piper Halliwell: Leo, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was afraid that you were too good to be true, that maybe I didn't deserve someone so pure and beautiful and loving as you are. But here we are surrounded by the people that I love the most and I feel so proud, and so blessed to be your wife. Leo, I was born to love you and I always will.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Here before witnesses, Leo and Piper have sworn their vows towards each other. With this cord, I bind them to those vows.
Piper Halliwell, Leo Wyatt: Heart to thee, body to thee, always and forever, so mote it be.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: So mote it be.
Prue Halliwell, Phoebe Halliwell: So mote it be.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: [clock strikes twelve] Kiss her fast.

Piper Halliwell: All I have to do is look at you and dad to see where I might end up if I marry Leo. I mean, look at the track record. The Halliwells, we are blessed as witches and we are cursed as women. Sometimes I think we're all destined to end up alone.

Piper Halliwell: Alright, that's it! The wedding is off! Phoebe!
Phoebe Halliwell: Sorry! Sorry! Piper, Piper, wait, think about this. Piper, Piper, you can not just leave.
Piper Halliwell: Yes, I can. A demon I could have handled, but my big sister ruining my wedding, I can not handle that.
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay, just listen to me for one second. All we have to do is find a way.
Piper Halliwell: No, no, I don't wanna find a way to get married on my wedding day. It's too hard. There must be a reason.
Leo Wyatt: Piper!
Piper Halliwell: Leo, I'm sorry, but this is just the final straw. It's just not meant to be.

Piper Halliwell: It is bad luck to see the bride's dress before the wedding.
Leo Wyatt: But you're not even wearing the dress.
Piper Halliwell: e same rule applies to the bride's curlers. Go away.


"Charmed: Be Careful What You Witch For (#2.22)" (2000)
Piper Halliwell: Where are you off to?
Prue Halliwell: Lunch date with Dick.
Phoebe Halliwell: Dull Dick? Prue, you are too hot to have to duty date.
Prue Halliwell: Yeah, well, all demon-hunting and no play has made me a lot less picky. I gotta figure out a way to put some more balance in my life.
Piper Halliwell: Yeah, but you don't need Dick.

Genie: Look, uh, you're probably a little bit upset, huh?
Piper Halliwell: No, I've moved past upset and straight to pissed off.

Genie: Plus, that and they'll kill me.
Piper Halliwell: They're going to have to wait in line.

Piper Halliwell: If we're ever gonna make this work, I think I deserve to know a little bit more about you, don't you think?
Leo Wyatt: What do you mean?
Piper Halliwell: I mean, I'm going with you, Leo. I'd like to meet 'them'.
Leo Wyatt: Are you sure?
Piper Halliwell: Positive.
[puts her arms around him]
Piper Halliwell: Take me to your leader.


"Charmed: Witchness Protection (#7.10)" (2004)
The Seer/Kiera: LEO!
Piper: Did she just call for Leo?
Phoebe: Ugh! I thought he was our whitelighter.

Paige Matthews: That's Kyle. Get upstairs.
The Seer/Kiera: Relax, relax. Everything's gonna be great, and later, everything's gonna be really, really great.
Paige Matthews: Really?
The Seer/Kiera: ...,Just don't let him eat the eggplant.
Piper: What? What's wrong with my eggplant?

The Seer/Kiera: I've got one more thing I'd like to add to that list, and it's something only the Elders can give. And it's a deal-breaker. I wanna be made human.
Piper: What? Why in the hell would a powerful demon want to be made human?
The Seer/Kiera: Hell being the operative word, as in, I live there and it sucks.

Piper: You know, if you want us to make a deal with the Elders to make you human, I think you need to give us something.
Paige Matthews: Wait. Back up. Did you say human?
The Seer/Kiera: I know, I know. I wouldn't actually have a soul, but I could live with that.


"Charmed: Marry-Go-Round (#4.15)" (2002)
Phoebe Halliwell: It is?
[Phoebe turns invisible]
Phoebe Halliwell: My zits are gone?
Piper Halliwell: Yeah, I can, I can honestly say that your face is completely clear.

Phoebe Halliwell: And then Prue crashed through the front door on a Harley.
Piper Halliwell: Yeah, only Prue could make my wedding day all about her. But the point is, I barely remember the ceremony, it's a total blur. And in the end all that matters is that you marry the guy that you love, and if you manage to do that your wedding was perfect.

Piper Halliwell: I'll check that out. Keep going.

Cole Turner: And perfect
Phoebe Halliwell: For what?
Cole Turner: A wedding.
Piper Halliwell: I couldn't agree more.
Phoebe Halliwell: Really?
Paige Matthews: You've got the rings.
Leo Wyatt: And we're all here.
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay, I do. I mean, I will. Let's go.
Dark Priest: Not two but one, then life be gone. You may kiss the bride.
Phoebe Halliwell: We did it.
Cole Turner: Yes, we did.
The Seer: It is done.


"Charmed: The Bare Witch Project (#7.2)" (2004)
Piper Halliwell: Uh, look, we're kind of in a hurry, so cliff notes version. Demon killed Lady Godiva which changed history, we gotta fix it, so are you with me or what?

Piper Halliwell: See what I mean? We have bigger, naked breasts to worry about.
Phoebe Halliwell: Paige has her naked breasts to worry about and I've got yours.

Piper Halliwell: Please tell me you weren't vanquishing demons with the children.
Leo Wyatt: Chris was fussy. It calmed him.

[Holly Marie Combs breaks the fourth wall, when Lady Godiva supposedly removes her robe because the Charmed Ones won't pay attention to her]
Piper Halliwell: Woman, keep your clothes on. This is a family show... really.


"Charmed: Run, Piper, Run (#8.3)" (2005)
Billie Jenkins: Well, can't we just vanquish him?
Piper: Billie, we don't usually vanquish humans.

Billie Jenkins: [referring to the human ADA] Can't we vanquish him?
Piper: We don't usually vanquish humans.

Piper: I think the only way to save Maya is to get him to confess to the murder somehow.
Paige Matthews: Oh, that happens before or after hell freezes over?

Piper: Hurry, get the mattress.
Paige Matthews: What if it doesn't work?
Piper: Well, then it was a bad idea.


"Charmed: Once Upon a Time (#3.3)" (2000)
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh, you know what? You are being a big, big, big, extra, extra, extra, double big jerk right now. Because now I have the key, so Thistle is safe and we have to be back with Kate at midnight so when the trolls attack...
Piper Halliwell: No. You guys are going home and you're not driving either 'cause someone will think you're drunk or something. So go outside and wait there and I will call a cab.

Piper Halliwell: You better run while you can, you little rodents.
[she stands up and looks up at the sky]
Piper Halliwell: I bet you guys think this is real funny don't ya? Haven't you taken enough from me? You have to send trolls to kick me while I'm down. I had a nice normal life once and you took that from me. You took my boyfriend, you took my life, the least you could do is leave me my freakin' car keys. I am a good person, I am a good witch and damn it I would've made a great wife. And how dare you take that from me. I deserve... no, you know what? I demand that you send him back to me. You hear me? Right now. I am going to stand in this very spot until you send Leo back to me.

Piper Halliwell: Come on, Phoebe, trolls and fairies? You don't believe that stuff.
Phoebe Halliwell: Sure, why not?
Piper Halliwell: [to Prue] Well, maybe it's time we tell her about Santa.

Piper: Hi, Phoebe. Need a diaper change?
Phoebe: Haha, very funny. Look, we need you to come home right away by midnight or else...
Piper: The tooth fairy's gonna come and harass us all for not flossing?


"Charmed: Thank You for Not Morphing (#1.3)" (1998)
Piper Halliwell: Okay, we have to call the cops and report it as a break-in.
Prue Halliwell: And tell them what? That someone broke into our house to try and steal our broomsticks?

Piper Halliwell: I wonder why he went to you first. I mean, why not Phoebe or me?
Prue Halliwell: Piper, it's not like I won the lotto.

Prue Halliwell: No, Andy, I'm fine really. Dad's gonna be here any minute, so can I take a rain check on dinner? Okay, thanks for the good advice.
Prue Halliwell: So he's dad now?
Prue Halliwell: Yes, Phoebe, and by the way my dress looks good on you.
Phoebe Halliwell: I don't have any nice clothes, Prue.
Prue Halliwell: Dad said it was casual.
Phoebe Halliwell: I don't care. I wanna look nice for him. Who knows how long it'll be before we see him again.
Piper Halliwell: You don't think he's gonna stay around?
Phoebe Halliwell: Well, let's just say I no longer have a romanticised image of him. And I'm glad about that actually. At least dad is real now.

Piper: Wait a sec. Last week we had no dad and now we have two?


"Charmed: House Call (#5.13)" (2003)
Piper Halliwell: Dirty... Dirty... Dirty.
[Throwing plates into the trash]
Leo Wyatt: Piper, what is the matter with you?
Piper Halliwell: What is the matter with me? I don't know. Are those water spots?
[Blows up window]
Piper Halliwell: Much better.
Leo Wyatt: Ok. All right. You keep cleaning and I'll be back with help.

Piper Halliwell: What are you doing with that thing?
Phoebe Halliwell: Well, first I'm gonna kill it and then I'm gonna stuff it.
Piper Halliwell: You are not bringing that filthy fowl in the house.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yes, I am. Thanksgiving's early this year.

Piper Halliwell: This is taking far too long.

Witch Doctor: Once I capture Big Mama, it'll all be over with.
Piper: Big Mama? Who's Big Mama?


"Charmed: Y Tu Mummy También (#5.10)" (2003)
Piper Halliwell: Do you have anything that goes with combat boots? You know, for the mom to be who kicks some ass upon occasion.

Paige: This happened way too easy, what if it's a trap?
Piper: Who cares I'm unbreakable dude!
Paige: Dude I'm not unbreakable.

Darryl Morris: [reaching out to touch Piper's stomach] If you ask me, there's nothing more beautiful than a preg...
Piper Halliwell: [grabbing Darryl's arm] Do it, and you'll pull back a bloody stub.

Paige: [Rubbing Piper's stomach] "Mommy"
Piper: [throwing Paige's hand down] "Nuh"
[swiping hand at Paige's hand like a smack]
Piper: "ugh"


"Charmed: Apocalypse, Not (#2.21)" (2000)
Prue: They have secrets, too.
Piper: Well unless they're transvestite Nazi war criminals with really good face-lifts, ours beats theirs.

Leo Wyatt: I don't believe you.
Piper: Leo, it doesn't change anything. We would help the Source himself if we thought we could get Prue back.

Phoebe Halliwell: I thought dodging the Y2K bullet bought us more time on the whole Apocalypse thing.
Leo Wyatt: You know why nothing happened on New Years Eve? Because it wasn't the real millennium. The monks who converted the Julian calendar to the Gregorian calendar made some critical errors.
Piper: So when does the new millennium start?
Leo Wyatt: Tonight, approximately.

Bartender: Everyone has to vote on this: What if a building was on fire - do you save five strangers or one sibling?
Prue, Piper, Phoebe Halliwell: Five strangers.


"Charmed: The Courtship of Wyatt's Father (#6.16)" (2004)
Piper Halliwell: Talk to us about what?
Paige Matthews: Is it my turn?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah.
Paige Matthews: Yeah. Chris is your son.
Phoebe Halliwell: Wyatt's brother. Look, I know this is huge.
Piper Halliwell: No, it's not huge because it's not possible. It's crazy 'cause I'm not pregnant.
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh.
Paige Matthews: Yeah.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yes. Yes.
Piper Halliwell: No, I'm not. I mean, how could that happen? I mean, I know how that could happen, but it... Oh, what am I gonna do?

Piper Halliwell: [about Wyatt] He was a really good boy and only made Mummy freeze the room once.

Leo Wyatt: We've been through a lot more than this.
Piper Halliwell: Have we?
Leo Wyatt: Are you kidding? Ever since we met it's been one ordeal after the other.
Piper Halliwell: Wow, you make it sound *so* romantic.

Piper: [shouts] Phoebe? Paige? Where's my car? What's going on? Where did everybody go?
Leo Wyatt: That's a good question.
Piper: Well, they've got to be here somewhere.
Leo Wyatt: I think we should get out of here.
Piper: Well-Uh, no! Not without Phoebe. She's hurt - didn't you see her fall?
Leo Wyatt: Yeah... but at least she's alive.
Piper: What is that supposed to mean?
Leo Wyatt: I don't know; *but* I think we need to get off the street while we figure this out.


"Charmed: The Wedding from Hell (#1.6)" (1998)
Prue: We did that
Phoebe: And they'll live happily ever after
Piper: I wonder if we will
Prue: Of course we will, why shouldn't we?
Piper: That's easy for you to say. You'll never greet your husband at the door with "Honey, I think I froze the kids!"
Prue: No I've just accidently moved them to another zip code
Phoebe: But I will "see" them, find them, and bring them back safely. If I can ever learn to control my powers
Piper: If any of us can

Piper: Don't ever mention that warlock's name again. It is over. He's in demon hell. End of story. Wedding yes, warlocks no. Am I clear? Good, because there is nothing in me that wants anything to do with Jeremy ever again.

Prue Halliwell: Piper, are you still in there?
Piper: [checking a pregnancy test] Just, give me a minute.
Prue Halliwell: Define a minute.
Piper: Two.
Prue Halliwell: Piper come on please, look I can not be late today.
Piper: [to herself] I know the feeling.

Piper: I don't believe it! They've barely touched my food!
Prue Halliwell: Piper.
Piper: Those deli trays took hours!


"Charmed: Spin City (#6.18)" (2004)
Paige Matthews: About what the doctor said. That it's gonna be a healthy baby.
Piper Halliwell: Well, I know he's healthy. I've seen him twenty-two and walking around.

Paige Matthews: [Piper and Paige are talking about Chris] Well, you never know something could happen.
Piper Halliwell: Oh, don't be such a worry wart. Now you're starting to sound like-
Chris Halliwell: [Chris orbs in] Hey.
Piper Halliwell: Chris.

Chris Halliwell: No, no, no. I was just wondering how it went with the doctor.
Piper Halliwell: Well, you'll be happy to know that you're a boy.
Chris Halliwell: [smirks] That's not what I meant.
Paige Matthews: [looking at the Ultra-Sound photo] I don't see it.
Piper Halliwell: Oh see, it's this little thing right here-
Chris Halliwell: [grabbing the photo] Woah, excuse me! Do you mind?!

Chris Halliwell: [talking about Wyatt's force field while Piper was pregnant with him] Wait, you had a force field with Wyatt, but not with me?
Piper Halliwell: Well, I didn't have one. He had one. It was all his doing.
Chris Halliwell: [huffs] From the womb! He had powers from the womb! That's unbelievable! It's not like I don't have an inferiority complex with him all ready! Thank you.
Piper Halliwell: [asking Paige] Did you find that demon yet?


"Charmed: Charmed Noir (#7.8)" (2004)
Piper Halliwell: Who would shoot a gnome? And why is the G silent?

Phoebe Halliwell: [about Leo] He's just trying to reconnect with you, you know that, right?
Piper Halliwell: No, I know, I do, and I would like to do that as well, just, I don't know, I can't help but think-...
Phoebe Halliwell: Your guard's up.
Piper Halliwell: Yeah, and-...
Phoebe Halliwell: You wanna lower it, you just can't.
Piper Halliwell: But still, I-...
Phoebe Halliwell: Feel vulnerable and don't want to get hurt again.
Piper Halliwell: Uh, could I possibly have a chance to express my feelings?

Phoebe Halliwell: [Reading "Crossed Double-Crossed"] Listen. "Riding in Eddie's car, Lana and the Fed...
Piper Halliwell: Lana and the Fed?
Phoebe Halliwell: Hey, at least he's not calling him Kyle,

Leo Wyatt: The pens are fine. The book's just not letting you write them out.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, but why not?
Piper Halliwell: Well, maybe it's against the rules. I don't know, the book is writing itself, maybe they have to save themselves.
Phoebe Halliwell: Then why was I able to write in the flat tire?
Piper Halliwell: It's just another plot twist which we could add but we can't bail them out. Heroes have to be heroes.
[pause]
Piper Halliwell: I read a lot.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, I know you do. Maybe you should get out a little more.
Piper Halliwell: Easy, cupid.


"Charmed: Sin Francisco (#3.18)" (2001)
Prue Halliwell: Okay, how did you get this stuff so fast?
Piper Halliwell: Oh, I just let my fingers do the walking and the clicking and the... flipping.
Prue Halliwell: Flipping as in the pages of the Book of Shadows? You used magic?
Piper Halliwell: Well, yeah, I couldn't wait six to eight weeks for delivery.
Prue Halliwell: That is so personal gain.
Piper Halliwell: No, 'cause we need all of this stuff.

Prue Halliwell: Hey, be nice, I don't even want to think about sin tonight.
Phoebe Halliwell: Me neither.
Prue Halliwell: So this is a pretty interesting band, what's their name?
Piper Halliwell: Orgy.

Prue Halliwell: Alright, we don't have much time...
Piper Halliwell: Shh! I'm on the phone with Bloomingdales. Oh, okay, um, well, then I'm gonna have to split that on two credit cards. You can put $5000 on the card that's on file, and the re-- What are you doing?
Prue Halliwell: Uh, saving your life or at least your credit rating, which is your life.
Piper Halliwell: Excuse me, Leo needs suits.
Prue Halliwell: Leo doesn't wear suits.
Piper Halliwell: Yet.

Prue Halliwell: A-a-are you drinking in the middle of the day?
Piper Halliwell: I was a little bummed about this sin thing, so I thought I deserved a little indulgence. Would you like a bit of bubbly?
Prue Halliwell: No, I would like a little bit of help. We are supposed to be tracking down Lucas.
Piper Halliwell: Sorry. Catch me up.


"Charmed: Heartbreak City (#2.10)" (2000)
Piper Halliwell: But you're still going to have to back up the Cupid claim.
Cupid: OK, fine. Dan, Jack, Clay, Andy. My senceriest kondolenses. Eric in London, Alan in college. Not Jremy the warlock, Joe in college, Barry in high school, Tim in eight grade. Ken, Kyle, Steve, Mike, Ken again, Brian, Joel, Mark, Peter, Paul.
Piper Halliwell: Whoo!
Cupid: Tony.
Phoebe Halliwell: OK, you knew I didn't love all those guys, right?
Cupid: Well, they wanted to love you but eventually closed heart and sent them away.

Phoebe Halliwell: I slept through it.
Jack Sheridan: You slept through Dirty Dozen?
Phoebe Halliwell: No, Love Story. The last thing I remember is the hockey game.
Piper Halliwell: That was the very beginning.
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay, let me guess: boy meets girl, Grim Reaper swipes girl, and boy's left with his hockey skates?
Jack Sheridan: That's the review.
Dan Gordon: Anybody want a coffee?

Prue Halliwell: So we're actually supposed to believe that you're Cupid?
Cupid: You believe in warlocks and demons, but you can't believe in me?
Piper Halliwell: Where's the chubby baby?
Phoebe Halliwell: Guys.
Prue Halliwell: And the bow and arrow?
Cupid: Where's the warty chins, hooked noses and pointy hats?


"Charmed: Which Prue Is It, Anyway? (#1.16)" (1999)
Piper: This is ridiculous. This is like the parent trap, with a B Cup!
Phoebe: I think I just found a way to take some of the Disney out of our lives.

Piper: And what about the spell?
Prue Halliwell: [pink] Oh, the spell's temporary too. We're only here as long as we're needed.
Prue Halliwell: [blue] We were called for a reason. Once the reason's gone the spell wears out and we disappear.
Prue Halliwell: [pink] Once we vanquish Gabriel.
Piper: And how are we planning on doing this?
Prue Halliwell: [pink] Funny you should ask, see I was thinking...
Prue Halliwell: [blue] That we could find Gabriel by tracking down the ownership records to that Roman vessel.
Prue Halliwell: [pink] And Bucklands' antiquities database.
Prue Halliwell: [real] That's why I called my assistant...
[pink Prue clears her throat]
Prue Halliwell: Our assistant and she's already on it.
Prue Halliwell: [blue] Are we good or what?

Prue Halliwell: I hit Gabriel in the chest with an axe and he didn't even bleed.
Piper: As long as he has his sword, he's immune to the weapons of men - which we could've told you if you hadn't turned off your cell phone!


"Charmed: Charmed Again: Part 1 (#4.1)" (2001)
Patty Halliwell: We didn't tell anybody because we were afraid that there would be reprisals, afraid that, you girls would be denied your powers. Your birthright. It happened after your father and I were divorced, when Sam and I were together.
Cole: Sam?
Leo: Her white lighter.
Cole: Apples don't fall far from the forbidden tree, I see.
Piper Halliwell: Shh! Go on.
Patty Halliwell: You were both toddlers. You just thought Mommy got a little fat. You never knew I was pregnant.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: I was the only one who knew.
Patty Halliwell: And Sam, obviously.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Right. Well, yes, of course.
Patty Halliwell: We wanted to keep the baby, of course. But mother...
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Well, I knew it would be disastrous. You know, before you and Leo, Piper, it wasn't just forbidden. It was unthinkable for witches to be with white lighters. I mean, let alone have children with them.
Patty Halliwell: So, that's why we had to, why we decided, to give the baby up. Sam and I took her to a local church as soon as she was born. And we asked the nun there to find a home for her, and she found one. A very, very good home.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Yes.
Leo: Explains why the Elders didn't know about her.
Phoebe Halliwell: All right, hold it. Wait just one minute. Are you telling me, that that girl, our innocent, is really... our sister?
Patty Halliwell: Your baby sister.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Their baby half-sister.
Patty Halliwell: But by my half, which makes her a sister witch. Well, actually, not yet anyway. Not until all three of you are here together by the Book. Just like before.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Charmed. Again.

Paige Matthews: The door was open. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here.
Phoebe Halliwell: No, no, no. We were just coming to look for you.
Paige Matthews: You were?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yep. Come on in. Welcome. I'm Phoebe. And this is...
Piper Halliwell: Piper. I know. I've been to your club. Pretty great.
Piper Halliwell: Thank you. And you are?
Paige Matthews: Paige. My name is Paige.
Phoebe Halliwell: Hmm. Another P. Imagine that.
Piper Halliwell: It's nice to meet you.
[Piper shakes Paige's hand. Once all three sisters are touching they are surrounded by a bright blue light]
Paige Matthews: Okay. What was that?
Leo: I think that means you're supposed to be here.

[after Phoebe magically sends Inspector Cortez to Timbuktu]
Piper Halliwell: You sent him to Timbuktu?
Phoebe Halliwell: Well, it was the only thing I could think of that rhymes with "undo".


"Charmed: We All Scream for Ice Cream (#3.10)" (2001)
Piper: Prue, it's me leaving you another message after leaving Phoebe another message. I tried you at work, but they said you never checked in after your shoot, so where are you guys?
[Piper sees the same guy as before standing at the other end of the bar]
Piper: Uh, look, so call me, or better yet, just show up and save me from having to perform an impending awkward rejection all by myself.

Piper: No, don't say that. We're not surrounded until they're all around of us.

Caleb: Hi, I'm Caleb.
[she shakes his hand]
Caleb: I'm sort of new in town, and I'm looking to meet someone, someone special. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your phone call to your...
Piper: Fiancé. Very large, very jealous fiancé.


"Charmed: Give Me a Sign (#2.15)" (2000)
Piper: You said it was a trap.
Phoebe: [checking out Bane] A tall, dark and naked trap.

Piper: I never needed a sign to tell me where my heart lies.

Piper: Oh... my... God!
Prue Halliwell: Uh... What are you guys doing here?
Phoebe: We're rescuing you from the tall, dark, and naked man.
Prue Halliwell: I told you to stay away.
Phoebe: Yeah, now I know why. He is yummy.
Piper: I don't believe this! We've been frantic, worried sick about you thinking you've been kidnapped.
Prue Halliwell: Yeah, I was.
Piper: Panties.
Prue Halliwell: Oh, oh! Huh, thanks. Look, you guys have really got this all uh... wrong.


"Charmed: Hyde School Reunion (#6.17)" (2004)
Victor Bennett: I do know that Chris loves you.
Piper: Yeah?
Victor Bennett: Yeah

Piper: Phoebe, you know better than to scream in this house if there isn't a demon.

[after Phoebe's "flashback" at the reunion]
Paige Matthews: It seemed to happen after someone named Paula Marks called her "Freebie"?
Piper: [realizing] Oh, yeah. That'll do it.


"Charmed: Primrose Empath (#3.6)" (2000)
Piper: You were at Cole's all night?
Phoebe: Uh huh.
Piper: Did you?
Phoebe: Uh huh.
Piper: Was he?
Phoebe: Uh huh.

Father Thomas: There's nothing you can do. It will find us, and when it does we're all dead.
Piper: Well, you're just a ray of sunshine now, aren't ya?

Piper: I know, but if I had introduced you as my fiancé, she would've asked how we met, when are we getting married, where the hell my ring is... questions that I can't answer now, can I?
Leo Wyatt: I suppose that's how I became a doctor too.
Piper: Leo, that's what you were. Look, what am I supposed to tell people? That's I'm engaged to a Whitelighter? Sometimes being magical kind of takes the magic right out of things.


"Charmed: Once in a Blue Moon (#7.6)" (2004)
Paige: Do you think we should put some snacks in the cage?
Phoebe: Like what, a wildebeest?
Piper: Please don't say beast.
Paige: No, I'm just saying we don't know how long we're gonna be in here. What if I get hungry?
Piper: Well, then we'll have Leo throw us Whitelighter. Don't worry about it.

Piper: I've been wanting to tell you guys something for a while. Um, I just didn't know how to say it.
Phoebe: Oh, my god, are you pregnant again?

Leo Wyatt: [about their new whitelighter] He's gonna be sent here tomorrow.
Piper: Well, I hope I don't blow him up.
Leo Wyatt: Piper, you can't blow up a whitelighter.
Phoebe: Why not? She blows you up all the time.


"Charmed: She's a Man, Baby, a Man! (#2.5)" (1999)
Piper Halliwell: It's not that hard. Just try to emulate a man you admire.
Prue Halliwell: Okay.
[Prue experiments with walking like a man and then does a girlie turn at the end]
Piper Halliwell: The man you admire is Richard Simmons?

Piper Halliwell: [to Prue] Looks like you learned a few things about being a woman by being a man!

Piper Halliwell: Sweet dreams... don't kill anyone!


"Charmed: Sleuthing with the Enemy (#3.8)" (2000)
Krell: Just the thought of working with you turns my stomachs.
Piper Halliwell: Stomachs?

Piper: How about next time I just freeze your head and then maybe I could kick you in the...
Prue: Ok.

Prue: Pig's feet.
Piper: Yuck...
Prue: Yuck?
Piper: Yuck...
Prue: So you can slice off a chunk of demon flesh but you can't touch a pig's foot?
Piper: I'm a vegetarian.
Prue: Since when?
Piper: Since now...
[Cooking pot bursts into flames]
Prue: Ooh...
Piper: Poor piggy.


"Charmed: The Honeymoon's Over (#3.1)" (2000)
Piper: You were telling yourself how much you love you?

Leo: I've thought this through
Piper: Is that why you asked me to marry you in a toilet?

Piper: Just feelings mostly. Good ones. Peaceful and whole and then it all went to crap when they said Leo and I had to stop seeing each other or else.


"Charmed: Kill Billie: Vol.1 (#8.6)" (2005)
Piper: Fine, but if you get caught on tape I will vanquish you.
Billie Jenkins: [laughs, thinking Piper's joking]
[To Paige]
Billie Jenkins: She's serious?
Paige: [shrugs] Ah, just don't get caught.

Piper: You can fight demons but you're afraid of pumpkins?
Billie Jenkins: I'm not afraid of pumpkins.

[Piper is aggressively carving out a jack-o-lantern for Halloween]
Paige: Dang, what'd that pumpkin ever do to you?
Piper: Nothing. I'm venting.


"Charmed: The Importance of Being Phoebe (#5.11)" (2003)
Leo: Piper, what are you doing?
Piper: Diminishing the rodent population... *obviously*.

Piper: Darryl, have you heard from Paige? She was supposed to come straight home from the hospital.
Darryl: Paige is in jail.
Piper: What for?
[shouts]
Piper: What for?

Paige: [after seeing Phoebe making out with Cole] Okay, we need a plan.
Piper: Okay, here it is... we go home, we vomit.
Paige: And...?
Piper: That's all I got.


"Charmed: The Painted World (#2.3)" (1999)
Prue Halliwell: Stop. You're obsessing.
Piper Halliwell: Well it runs in the family.
Prue Halliwell: I don't obsess. I think. Intensely.

Piper Halliwell: [about Phoebe] She's a walking brain-trust, an Einstein with cleavage.

Piper Halliwell: I have plenty of experience.
Dan Gordon: Really? With sex?
Piper Halliwell: No, um, I mean... talking about it.


"Charmed: Something Wicca This Way Goes (#7.22)" (2005)
New Piper: What's going on?
Leo Wyatt: What? I don't know.
New Phoebe: Boy, sure hope nobody died in there.
Leo Wyatt: What? Do we know each other?
New Piper: Yeah. I think so. After all we're married.
Leo Wyatt: What?
[Halliwell sisters appear]
Piper Halliwell: Shh, shh, shh. It's all part of the plan.
Leo Wyatt: Plan? What plan?
Phoebe Halliwell: Our plan to die. It's the only way to get our lives back. Our normal lives.
Piper Halliwell: And stop everybody from coming after us, including all of them.
Leo Wyatt: But?
Piper Halliwell: No buts. We're free. Nobody even knows we're alive anymore, not even the demons.
Paige Matthews: They think we died in there with Zankou. They were just our astral selves.
Piper Halliwell: Sweetie, we've got a clean slate. We can start all over again. No more demon fighting ever again.
Paige Matthews: Unless the demons figure it out.
Phoebe Halliwell: Which may be never.
Leo Wyatt: I don't know what to say.
Piper Halliwell: Just say you're okay with it.
Phoebe Halliwell: So we can get the next generation ready to pick up where we left off.
Leo Wyatt: How do I do it?
Piper Halliwell: You don't. We do.
Paige Matthews: Don't worry. We'll make you good-looking.
[they all change into their new disguises]
New Piper: Cute. I can live with that.
Darryl Morris: [Darryl sees three women and one man walk away as one of the women smile at him] Well, all right.
[manor door closes]
Darryl Morris: All right.

[Piper and Phoebe are trying to find a spell to use against Zankou]
Phoebe Halliwell: How about a love spell? We could make him fall for one of us.
Piper Halliwell: [scoffs] Sorry, I'm taken.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, well I'm not.
Piper Halliwell: But you're not that desperate.
[pause]
Piper Halliwell: Are you?
Phoebe Halliwell: Hmm, those demons do have a way of keeping you warm at night.
Piper Halliwell: Yeah, but that's only because they have fireballs.

Piper Halliwell: Wasn't there a confidence spell in the Book of Shadows?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, remember we cast it on that waiter at Quake?
[Piper's eyes widen]
Piper Halliwell: Wow. Quake. That was a long time ago.


"Charmed: Charrrmed! (#7.4)" (2004)
Phoebe Halliwell: [Enters room] Yo ho, Hello!
Piper Halliwell: Did you just call me a ho?

Piper Halliwell: Leo? Get up here.
Old Paige: Are you two back together? I forget.

Piper Halliwell: I think I found something.
Paige Matthews: Huh?
Piper Halliwell: I said I think I found something. What, are you deaf now too?
Paige Matthews: Well, you're gonna go deaf first. Don't forget, you're the oldest sister.
Piper Halliwell: Yeah, I love you too.


"Charmed: All Hell Breaks Loose (#3.22)" (2001)
Piper Halliwell: [last line to Prue] I love you.

Piper Halliwell: Prue, I'm cold. I can't - I can't - I can't feel my legs. Don't go. I love you.

Prue Halliwell: Look, I know that this all sounds incredible, but it doesn't make it any less true. All right, you're a healer, you do good, now either you have saved too many lives or you're about to save a life that they don't want you to save.
Dr. Griffiths: They?
Prue Halliwell: Yeah, demons. Uh, more specifically, Shax. He was The Source's assassin.
Dr. Griffiths: Hold it, I get it. This is a practical joke. Right? Do you have a hidden camera here? My second wife put you up to this? It's just like her.
Prue Halliwell: O.K., Dr. Griffiths, listen to me, this is anything, but...
Piper Halliwell: What?
Prue Halliwell: I don't know, I just felt a chill. Phoebe? Phoebe, are you there? Phoebe, where are you?
[Shax appears]
Dr. Griffiths: Dear God!
Prue Halliwell: No!
[Prue tries to defend the innocent and both Prue and Piper are thrown through the wall]


"Charmed: The Day the Magic Died (#5.15)" (2003)
Piper Halliwell: Hi Phoebe come, sit, talk with us, please.

Piper: Shh, I'm fine, I'm feeling fine.
Phoebe: You didn't look so fine when you bent over the toilet puking your guts out today.
Piper: Nausea, headaches, all a normal part of pregnancy. Along with gas, heartburn, constant need to pee.
Phoebe: Sounds fun.

Phoebe Halliwell: Ok, breathe. Keep breathing, keep breathing. Don't forget to breathe. Very good! Relax. Relax.
Piper Halliwell: Dad!
Victor Bennett: Yeah, honey?
Piper Halliwell: I'm sorry about your demon wife.
Victor Bennett: Oh, hush. Don't think about that.
Leo Wyatt: I'm right here, baby.
Phoebe Halliwell: You okay? You okay? Ok, you're doing great. You're doing great. Push, okay? Last push.
Piper Halliwell: I can't.
Phoebe Halliwell: You have to. A big one. Big one! Push!
Leo Wyatt: You can do it.
Piper Halliwell: I can't.
Phoebe Halliwell: You can. You can.
Paige: Yes, you can.
Phoebe Halliwell: You're gonna be okay. Push. Push! Push!
Paige: Oh, I think the magic is coming back.
Phoebe Halliwell: Here we go. Here we go! Oh, I see a shoulder. And another shoulder. And an arm, another arm. Oh, and something else. Something else.
[Cuts cord]
Piper Halliwell: What? What?
Phoebe Halliwell: Hi, baby. Hi. Okay. Okay. Look!
Paige: Oh. Is that what I think it is?
Leo Wyatt: You mean, I got a boy?
Phoebe Halliwell: Here you go, mama.
Piper Halliwell: Hi. Hi, little guy. What are you doing? Look what we did.
Leo Wyatt: I see.
Paige: It's a miracle.
Piper Halliwell: A little miracle. He's beautiful. Oh. You are safe, you are loved, and you are wise. How ya doing, what's up?


"Charmed: Forget Me... Not (#6.3)" (2003)
Piper Halliwell: You can't. Not if you're truly neutral, that is. 'Cause, you see, if you get rid of us, you tip the balance of power from good to evil. Now, that's hardly being neutral, now, is it? You will give me my son back, or I swear to you, the only thing you will be doing for the next fifty years is cleaning up after us.

Paige Matthews: Wait a second, so you're saying Wyatt conjured a dragon?
Piper Halliwell: Yep, right out of the TV.
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh, you must be so proud.
Piper Halliwell: Yeah -or a little irritated.

Piper Halliwell: [standing in front of the Golden Gate Bridge] "Let the object of objection become but a dream/ As I cause the seen to become unseen."
[The Golden Gate bridge vanishes.]
Piper Halliwell: You might wanna take an alternate route to work in the morning.


"Charmed: They're Everywhere (#2.7)" (1999)
Piper Halliwell: Jack's not a warlock.
Prue Halliwell: He's a jerk.

Piper Halliwell: With warlocks and demons coming out of the woodwork all the time, it's a wonder we trust anybody!

Prue Halliwell: They really shouldn't have given us the finger.
Piper Halliwell: You read my mind.


"Charmed: Happily Ever After (#5.3)" (2002)
Piper Halliwell: What, you think Cole's gonna try and kill us? That would not be the best way to win you back.
Paige Matthews: Yeah, but it wouldn't be the first time he tried.

Leo Wyatt: You used to think the Evil Enchantress was just a fairy tale.
Paige Matthews: That was different. This is...
Piper Halliwell: A fast life. Yours.

Piper Halliwell: I read fairy tales to my baby just like you read to me.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Oh, darling. Well, I'm glad to see you're finally doing something.


"Charmed: Siren Song (#5.4)" (2002)
Piper Halliwell: Kiss this bitch.
[goes to blow up a demon but instead creates a heap of flowers instead]
Piper Halliwell: Oh, bad baby

Leo: Oh God not the crying thing.
Piper: [tearfully] Leo, my powers are out of whack, the only person who can explain what's going on is never around and this house is demon central. Add that to nausea and constant breast pains and I am perfectly entitled to do the crying thing.

Leo: The baby is probably just upset by all the arguing.
Piper: Leo, the baby is an inch long. All this arguing is upsetting the mommy.


"Charmed: Cheaper by the Coven (#7.3)" (2004)
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Do you remember the first time you were this age, when I sat you and your sisters down and we had the talk.
Piper Halliwell: Grams, I already know all about sex, and no offence but I don't want to talk about with you because that's really gross.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: No, not the sex talk, silly. The witch talk.
Piper Halliwell: So what did you tell us?
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: That my being a witch was such an important part of my life and what it meant to me, and what it might mean to you someday.

Piper Halliwell: [about Leslie] Why don't you just marry him already.
Phoebe Halliwell: Why don't you just marry Leo?
Piper Halliwell: 'Cause I already did.

Piper Halliwell: You know, I don't understand why you guys have to be so mean to Leo, you know. In case you haven't heard, he's kind of going through a hard time right about now. I mean, geez!


"Charmed: Witchstock (#6.11)" (2004)
Paige Matthews: It's a little late now, isn't it? We're your granddaughters.
Phoebe Halliwell: Hi, Grams.
Penny Halliwell: I'm your "Grams". The "Demon Hunter"?
Paige Matthews: Yeah and these fancy boots brought me from the future.
Piper Halliwell: And these earrings.
Phoebe Halliwell: And this ring.
Penny Halliwell: You're trying to trick me.
Piper Halliwell: No. Afraid not, Grams. Look, it's payback time. You need to get your act together. We love you, but if you don't start fighting now, all the people we're meant to save in the fut...
[Warlock attacks]

Penny Halliwell: What do I usually do at this point?
Phoebe Halliwell: You usually do something very final if you catch my drift.
Penny Halliwell: Snuff this warlock. His days are done. But make him good for the ecosystem?
[Warlock is vanquished into a shower of flowers]
Piper Halliwell: Now that's what you call flower power.

Piper Halliwell: I don't have a lot of people to hang out with, aside from my baby, who doesn't really say much, and then one *really* neurotic Whitelighter.


"Charmed: There's Something About Leo (#7.9)" (2004)
Piper Halliwell: The potion blew up, and, uh, Leo's an Avatar.

Leo Wyatt: You know, you wanted the truth, and I told you. They said you had to come to it on your own. I said you could handle it.
Piper Halliwell: Handle what, that you're what everybody is afraid of, even the Elders?
Leo Wyatt: They're afraid because they don't understand. They can't understand. The Avatars are beyond Good and Evil. They're everything we've been searching for, a life without demons.
Paige Matthews: ...Okay, he's cracked.

Phoebe Halliwell: Are you making spaghetti sauce?
Piper Halliwell: No, that's demon blood.


"Charmed: Unaired Pilot (#1.0)" (????)
Prue Halliwell: Do you think Andy knows about?
Piper Halliwell: No!
Prue Halliwell: I think he knows about us.
Phoebe Halliwell: Who would ever believe him anyway?
Piper Halliwell: That's true. So what are we going to do now?
Prue Halliwell: Same thing that we've always done. Borrow each other's clothes, hog the phone. But no matter what, we'll always be sisters. Right?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah. Sister witches.

Piper Halliwell: Look, I know what happened last night was weird and unexplainable, but we're not witches, and we do not have special powers. Besides Grams wasn't a witch, and as far as we know, neither was mom. So take that, Nancy Drew.
Phoebe Halliwell: We're the protectors of the innocent. We're known as "The Charmed Ones".
Piper Halliwell: Hmmmm.
Phoebe Halliwell: And I beg to differ about Grams.

Piper Halliwell: You're up early.
Phoebe Halliwell: I never went to sleep.
Piper Halliwell: Don't tell me you put on a black conical hat and spent the night flying around the neighborhood on a broomstick.
Phoebe Halliwell: The only broom I've ever had was kept in a closet beside a mop.
Piper Halliwell: So what were you doing?
Phoebe Halliwell: Reading. Is Prue around?
Piper Halliwell: She went to work early. Reading aloud?
Phoebe Halliwell: No, but... according to the Book of Shadows, one of our ancestors was a witch named Melinda Warren.
Piper Halliwell: And we have a cousin who's a drunk, an aunt who's manic, and a father who's invisible.


"Charmed: The Legend of Sleepy Halliwell (#6.14)" (2004)
Piper Halliwell: [after Piper loses her head] Great. Ju-u-ust great.

Piper Halliwell: [the three heads of the Charmed Ones are sitting on a table] So... who's bright idea was this, anyway?
Phoebe Halliwell: We were trying to save you.
Piper Halliwell: Yeah? Good job on that one.
Phoebe Halliwell: And who went and got her head stolen?
Piper Halliwell: While you were off contemplating your navel, while you still had one...
Paige Matthews: Guys, we are not getting anywhere arguing.
Piper Halliwell: Actually, we're not getting anywhere because we don't have any bodies.
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay, look. We said we were sorry.
Paige Matthews: Can we try looking on the bright side? I mean, you know, we're still alive.
Piper Halliwell: Only 'cause Zachary can't kill us in here.
Paige Matthews: I don't think he would if he could. I mean, he practically apologized to us.
Phoebe Halliwell: I think she's right, actually. I didn't sense any anger from him, just a lot of sorrow.
Piper Halliwell: So, what? He did this to us just to get us out of the way? To do what?
Phoebe Halliwell: To get revenge on the school.
Paige Matthews: And Gideon.

Piper: OK, all you people with legs, follow me.


"Charmed: Blinded by the Whitelighter (#3.11)" (2001)
Leo: Why don't you go into the front room and meet Natalie?
Phoebe: Who's Natalie?
Piper: Oh she's a bi...
Leo: Fellow whitelighter, see now I'm finishing your sentences.
Piper: Hmm... That's not what I was going to say.

Leo: Piper, what are you doing?
Piper: Getting irritated. Who put Lady Attitude in charge?
Leo: She's not in charge.
Piper: Really? 'Cause she's acting like it. I thought Whitelighters were supposed to guide, not dictate.

Natalie: Good, you're still here.
Piper: Speaking of cocky.
Natalie: I consulted the Elders, and they want you to hold back. They think the witch Phoebe saw might be a force of darkness.
Prue: A Darklighter actually.
Natalie: How do you know?
Piper: We went, we saw, we didn't quite conquer.


"Charmed: When Bad Warlocks Turn Good (#1.18)" (1999)
Piper Halliwell: Now, they have got the right idea.
Phoebe Halliwell: Who, the nuns?
Piper Halliwell: Yep, nice, safe environment.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, if you like monks.
Piper Halliwell: Stress-free, no need to worry about guys, no wardrobe.
Phoebe Halliwell: No wardrobe? Okay, now you're scaring me.

Piper Halliwell: Good, then you can take it to him. I think he's in the church office.
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay, just don't go taking any vows while I'm gone, all right?

Phoebe Halliwell: Because I'm worried about you, that's why.
Piper Halliwell: Oh, Phoebe, don't start.
Phoebe Halliwell: No, Piper, something's up. You're turning down dates with a guy that you like, extolling the virtues of convent living, you've been working double shifts three times a week... this is not the Piper I know and I'm worried.


"Charmed: Déjà Vu All Over Again (#1.22)" (1999)
Piper Halliwell: [Rodriguez rings the doorbell repeatedly] That's a little too anxious. That's not a good sign.
Phoebe Halliwell: Which means if he doesn't wanna kill Prue, he wants to date her.

Piper Halliwell: I've decided to quit my job.
Phoebe Halliwell: What?
Prue Halliwell: And actually, I owe it all to Joanne. She made me realize that somehow I'd forgotten what my dreams were, still are. I always wanted to be a chef and have my own restaurant, not manage one. It's a good job and the pay's okay, but it's not my dream job.
Phoebe Halliwell: I think that's great. I really do. And don't worry. If you need any help trolling the classifieds, I am an expert.

Prue Halliwell: I was just thinking about all that we've been through since we became witches.
Phoebe Halliwell: Give you a headache?
Prue Halliwell: No. Actually, it gave me a good feeling. I mean, look, it's a hassle. It can sometimes screw up our personal lives.
Piper Halliwell: Amen to that.
Prue Halliwell: And we do good things together. Helps offset the bad things.
Phoebe Halliwell: I'm going to really miss Andy.
Piper Halliwell: It's going to be very sad without him.
Prue Halliwell: Something tells me that he'll always be with us.


"Charmed: Sense and Sense Ability (#5.20)" (2003)
Piper: Read my lips! Is there anything in here that will get our senses back?
Phoebe: Piper, I can't hear you!
Piper: Uh! What do we do?
Paige: [Holding a sign that says:] Kill Monkey
Phoebe: Paige is proposing violence against the monkey.
Piper: Well, I'm inclined to agree, but I really think the monkey is the least of our worries.
Phoebe: Yeah, I didn't hear what you just said, but if you're wondering who's behind this, I was about to look in the book.
Piper: [Thumbs up]

Phoebe: You killed Aunt Pearl's couch!
Piper: But did I get the Kazi?

Piper: Where are you? Ow! Who put that there?
Phoebe: Oh, my god! Piper, you're blind!
Piper: Yeah, Phoebe, I just said that. Now can we talk about how a monkey could do that?
Phoebe: What did she say?
Piper: What did who say? The monkey? The monkey didn't say anything. He covered my eyes and stole my eyesight.
Paige: [Paige writes] How?
Phoebe: I think the monkey stole your eyesight when he covered your eyes.
Piper: Phoebe, are you listening to me? That's just what I said. Are you acting like you can't even hear me?
Phoebe: Oh, Piper, it's no use. I can't even hear you. The monkey stole my hearing.
Piper: Oh, he got you, too. Which means somebody sent that flea-infested primate after us. We've got to find Paige.
Phoebe: [Paige claps] Why are you clapping? This is not funny.
Phoebe: What's the matter, Paige?
Piper: Paige? Where's Paige?
Leo Wyatt: What's going on?
[Paige coves her mouth. Phoebe covers her ears. Piper covers her eyes]
Leo Wyatt: I see.
Piper: Well, I don't! Where is Paige?
Leo Wyatt: Uh, she just can't talk.
Phoebe: Excuse me! This is either someone's sick, sick joke or someone's working on a massive evil plan!


"Charmed: Imaginary Fiends (#7.20)" (2005)
Phoebe Halliwell: Maybe it was an imaginary friend.
Piper Halliwell: No. Imaginary friends are imaginary, hence, the name. Plus, you said he's too young to have an imaginary friend, remember? He's two.

Wyatt Halliwell: [after greeting Leo, who's holding baby Chris] Hey, is this Chris? Oh, my gosh! He's so small. Hey, little brother.
[to Piper]
Wyatt Halliwell: Is this before of after he swallowed the marble?
Piper Halliwell: Marble ? What marble ?
Phoebe Halliwell: Easy on the future information !
Wyatt Halliwell: Of course, you're right.
Piper Halliwell: Not, but really : what marble ?

Wyatt Halliwell: What are you gonna do, mom? Kill me in order to protect me?
Piper Halliwell: It's a thought.
Wyatt Halliwell: You always said spanking was barbaric!


"Charmed: The Eyes Have It (#5.6)" (2002)
Piper Halliwell: But magic is a part of who you are.
Dr. Ava Nicolae: No, relying on magic is what killed my mom.
Piper Halliwell: Oh, uh, Eva, I know what it's like to lose your mom, believe me, I do. But still, you can't deny who you are.

[watching "The Joys of Home Birthing" with Leo]
Piper Halliwell: Okay, see, I need an epidural just to watch this!

Paige Matthews: Hey, you know, if he's after gypsies, we should stop by Theresa's funeral. I know where it is. Maybe you can get some sort of premonition that'll help us find the demon.
Piper Halliwell: Wow. Prenatal yoga this morning, and now you want to crash a stranger's funeral? You really do need friends.
Paige Matthews: You're mean.


"Charmed: Brain Drain (#4.7)" (2001)
Phoebe: Is something wrong.
Piper: No. Everything is just right.
Paige: Except my chair...
Piper: Yeah... which, ummm, I'll actually pay to replace.
Paige: Oh God no. It's not your fault.
[Paige pauses]
Paige: Or is it?
Piper: Actually, yeah... it is. I was just upset that there was yet another demon in our house, in our lives. And I know I should stop fighting it and just accept it, but...
Paige: Nah. It wasn't my favorite chair. Besides, it is kinda good to know I am not the only one who struggles with the idea of being a witch.
Phoebe: No, trust me, you are in good company.
Leo: Well, the good news is that you won't have to deal with the Source anytime soon, because Cole hurt him pretty bad.
Cole: Not bad enough though, he'll be back.
Phoebe: So.
[Phoebe rubs her hands up and down Cole's chest]
Phoebe: He's gone for now. First time in a long time. Maybe we should take advantage of that.
Cole: [Cole pulls Phoebe up against him] Why Ms. Haliwell, are you trying to seduce me?
Phoebe: Always.
Piper: Ewwww...
Phoebe, Cole: [Phoebe and Cole race up the stairs laughing]
Paige: Okay... I'm just going to go to the store and get some milk or something...
[Paige leaves]
Leo: [to Piper] You sure you're okay?
Piper: Yeah. I mean, I'm never going to stop wanting a normal life, but I think thats the one thing that actually keeps me sane.
Leo: Well, you deserve a normal life Piper. We both do. And maybe we'll get that once we banish the Source once and for all.
Piper: And who knows. Maybe one day I could have a baby shower of my own. What do you think?
Leo: Well in that case...
[Leo picks Piper up and cradles her in his arms]
Piper: Oh!
Leo: [Leo grins] Need to practice a little.
Piper: Leo!
Piper, Leo: [Piper and Leo orb off in a shower of blue sparks. You hear Leo laughing]

Paige: What happened?
Piper: The freaking furniture just attacked!

Piper: [to Alaster] I'm going to be so happy when I vanquish your sorry ass.


"Charmed: Exit Strategy (#3.20)" (2001)
Piper: Leo!
Prue: Uh, he's our whitelighter
Phoebe: And our brother-in-law
Piper: I don't know what is up with me. Every time I freeze, I flame!
Prue: Uh. Leo!
Phoebe: I'm fine really it's no big deal
Piper: Phoebe it is a huge deal! Cole tried to kill you!
Prue: He's the demon
Piper: And her boyfriend
Phoebe: We have very complicated lives

Prue, Phoebe, Leo Wyatt: *hears an explosion from the kitchen, and they all look in that direction, then go into the kitchen*
Piper: *is covered in watermelon, worried* Ehh... heh neh neh...
Prue: *looking up at the ceiling* OK, was it a demon?
Piper: No. It was watermelon!
Phoebe: *puts towel over her head* Honey... why did you vanquish watermelon?
Piper: *squeaky voice to start* I didn't vanquish watermelon! I threw it up in the air, and I tried to freeze it, and it exploded! *gestures with her hands, and blows up windows and gasps... turns around panicky, waving hands, and blows up china* Oh!
Leo Wyatt: *after dodging glass*... this is the little problem I was telling you about...
Phoebe: Oh... *removing towel from her head* OK Piper, slowly put your hands down, and no one will get hurt.


"Charmed: Murphy's Luck (#2.16)" (2000)
Leo: Piper, are you mad at me?
Piper: No, don't be ridiculous. Why would I be mad at you?
Leo: I don't know, that's why I'm asking. What is it?
Piper: It's just, um, Dan.
Leo: Oh. Never mind, sorry I asked.
Piper: Um, he's-he's going to be... He's going to be very upset when he finds out... you're the one that I really love.
Leo: Yeah?
Piper: Yeah.
[they kiss]

Piper: That can't be right. How many swizzle sticks?
Leo: [staring at her legs] Who's counting?


"Charmed: I Dream of Phoebe (#6.15)" (2004)
Piper Halliwell: [Phoebe appears as a blonde genie] You look ridiculous!
Phoebe: I feel ridiculous.
Piper Halliwell: Well, how am I supposed to get back to Greg now with this?
Phoebe: Is that all you care about? Would you look at me? I am trapped in pantaloons right now. Where is the mirror? Look. And why do I always get stuck with the wig?

Piper Halliwell: What is this big emergency? Can't it wait an hour or... two?
Chris: No, it can't. There's a demon on the loose, a genie running amok, AND it took me two wishes to get here.


"Charmed: Ordinary Witches (#7.11)" (2005)
Paige Matthews: What? What happened?
Piper Halliwell: Oh you know... Your boyfriend tried to kill my husband...

Denise: You guys fight demons here all the time, don't you?
Piper Halliwell: Pretty much, why?
Denise: See, I always thought that you threw wild parties, you know, things breaking, people screaming. I had no idea.
Piper Halliwell: Well, at least now you know why we never invited you.


"Charmed: Scry Hard (#7.17)" (2005)
Leo Wyatt: Yeah. No, no. Don't let Wyatt see.
Piper Halliwell: Honey, why don't you go upstairs?
Leo Wyatt: Mommy and daddy are fine.
Piper Halliwell: Sweetie, what's the matter? What is he doing?
Leo Wyatt: What just happened?
Piper Halliwell: [sees large Wyatt outside dollhouse window] Uh-oh.

Piper Halliwell: Okay... let me handle Wyatt. This requires a mother's touch...
[shouts]
Piper Halliwell: Wyatt Matthew Halliwell! You stop this nonsense right now!
Leo Wyatt: Wow, first time you used his full name.
Piper Halliwell: Well it sounds better when I'm scolding him.


"Charmed: A Knight to Remember (#4.6)" (2001)
Piper Halliwell: Nice!
[after a sword fight]
Phoebe Halliwell: Wow!
Piper Halliwell: Leo!
Phoebe Halliwell: I thought you were a pacifist.
Leo Wyatt: I didn't kill him, did I?

[after Leo bests a medieval guard in a sword fight]
Piper Halliwell: I have to tell you, I find this side of you very sexy.


"Charmed: Look Who's Barking (#3.21)" (2001)
Piper: [after Prue has turned into a dog to track a banshee] Well at least we know she understands what we are saying.
Phoebe: Oh she's such a pretty dog.
Piper: What else did you expect?
Leo Wyatt: A doberman.
Prue Halliwell: [growls] Grrrrr...
[Leo jumps back]
Leo Wyatt: Easy.
Piper: Awwh, honey watch your orbs.

Prue Halliwell: At least I got to meet a really cute guy.
Piper: You met a guy?
Prue Halliwell: Mm-hmm.
Piper: As a dog?
Prue Halliwell: Mm-hmm.
Piper: How?
Prue Halliwell: Well, he ran me over.


"Charmed: Chick Flick (#2.18)" (2000)
Prue: [Prue is taking some photos of Piper, while she is drinking hot tea and looking through the window] So I think I'll call this, "Woman Pretending Not to Look Out the Window".
Piper Halliwell: How about "Girl About to Pour Hot Tea On Sister's Head". Let me see?
[she saw her pictures]
Piper Halliwell: Either I'm transparent, or you're that good.
Prue: Well, I don't think I'll comment, since you do have hot liquid over my head.

Piper Halliwell: I'm being stalked by psycho killers and I hide in the shower.


"Charmed: The Devil's Music (#2.4)" (1999)
Piper Halliwell: [to Leo] You have time for baseball, but you don't have time to tell me about you-know-what before you-know-who shows up for you-know-where?

Prue: Did you get him?
Phoebe: No.
Piper: What?
Phoebe: I think we need a bigger balloon.


"Charmed: P3 H2O (#2.8)" (1999)
Leo Wyatt: It's just this, this whole situation - you know, Sam, your mom, those letters. He loved her. Like I love you.
Piper Halliwell: Leo, we've been through this before. We both know how we feel, but there are things, people involved now.
Leo Wyatt: Can you tell Dan the truth, Piper?
Piper Halliwell: That's between him and me. You and I have a job to do and I thought we agreed to try and put that first.
Leo Wyatt: So did Sam and your mom. Look at the outcome.
Piper Halliwell: You're leaving, aren't you? For good this time.
Leo Wyatt: I don't know. But I do know we have to stop working together because I can't stop loving you... Which means I can't do my job.
Piper Halliwell: And I can't do mine... I don't know how to say goodbye.
Leo Wyatt: Don't.

Piper Halliwell: Dan, what are you doing at the back door?
Dan Gordon: Well, when I knock on the front door, I just never seem to make it through the threshold.


"Charmed: 12 Angry Zen (#8.14)" (2006)
Piper Halliwell: [after witnessing something she and Billie can't explain] Forget it, Jenkins... it's Chinatown.

Piper Halliwell: Oh, did you hear about Chicken?
Dog: You mean Rooster?


"Charmed: Lucky Charmed (#5.17)" (2003)
Piper: Take Wyatt out of here.
Leo: But I -
Piper: No, no arguing, just orb, ok? You were the only one that wasn't cursed with the bad luck. He's safe with you.
Leo: All right, well, I'll take him to Uncle Elders. He'll be safe there.
Phoebe: Didn't they ask you not to do that?
Leo: Yeah, but... screw 'em.

Piper Halliwell: Pat Benatar is in the kitchen on the phone with her manager, rearranging her schedule so she can play at P3. I am so sorry I doubted you.
[gives Shamus a kiss on the cheek]
Shamus: Just like a woman. You have to give 'em a gift to get anything in return.


"Charmed: Sam I Am (#5.9)" (2002)
Piper: How are we supposed to trust them when they don't answer our questions?
Leo: Leo says nothing

Piper: Hey Lady! I'm tryin' to make a good impression here. Put it down! Put it down! Put it down!
Paige Matthews: [takes a bite of what looks like crumb cake and with a mouthful responds] On the nannies?
Piper: Yeah. I want the best. And the best don't work for slobs.
Paige Matthews: We are not slobs!
Piper: Oh really? How come I spent all night cleaning potion stains off of the ceiling?
Paige Matthews: That's gazpacho not potion.
Piper: Well you know what, blenders have lids.


"Charmed: Womb Raider (#4.21)" (2002)
Piper Halliwell: Let's get this straight. You guys summoned me to a cage where my powers don't work, so we can all die together?

Piper Halliwell: Did your baby just electrocute the nice doctor man?
Phoebe: Yeah... I think so. But he was just protecting himself, 'cause that gel was really cold.
Piper Halliwell: Protecting himself? Unborn babies don't perform magic tricks in the first trimester, Phoebe.
Phoebe: [pulling Piper closer] What is going on?
Piper Halliwell: I don't know, but don't panic, okay? We'll wrap up here, and we'll go home and panic.


"Charmed: Little Box of Horrors (#7.18)" (2005)
[after Katya-as-Nina retrieves Pandora's box and speaks in a demonic voice]
Piper Halliwell: Aww, crap.

Hope: You blew up my dorm! With your hands!
Piper Halliwell: Yes, and I am very sorry about that.


"Charmed: We're Off to See the Wizard (#4.19)" (2002)
Paige Matthews: Oh, thank God we found you.
Phoebe Halliwell: It's too late.
Paige Matthews: Hey, I thought only evil could touch that book.
Phoebe Halliwell: That's right.
Piper Halliwell: Phoebe, what's going on?
Phoebe Halliwell: I'm embracing my new destiny.
[Flames out with Cole]

Piper Halliwell: [after blowing up a demon] What an idiot. Doesn't every demon KNOW by now whose house this is?


"Charmed: Oh My Goddess!: Part 1 (#5.22)" (2003)
Piper Halliwell: What are you going to do? Scwry for mother nature and have a wicked word with her?

Piper Halliwell: What are you going to do? Scry for mother nature and have a wiccan word with her?


"Charmed: Ex Libris (#2.19)" (2000)
Leo Wyatt: Prue!
Prue Halliwell: Leo! Nice orbs!
Piper Halliwell: Bye. Bye.
Prue Halliwell: [walks into door] Ow.
Piper Halliwell: Let me help you. Let me help you. Alright, go on, sicko.

Piper Halliwell: Okay, bye, bye.
Prue Halliwell: Oh, oh, alright, so, uh, I'm gonna go now and I'll be downstairs and work all night long and I'll be really quiet and you won't have to worry about me.
Piper Halliwell: Okay.
Prue Halliwell: So, no sex without safe sex.
Piper Halliwell: Thanks.


"Charmed: The Power of Three Blondes (#6.4)" (2003)
Chris Halliwell: You should take this threat seriously. And tell Paige. Where is Paige?
Phoebe Halliwell: She's at her new temp job.
Chris Halliwell: She's still on that kick?
Piper Halliwell: It's not a kick, Chris. It's her quest for happiness outside of magic.
Chris Halliwell: Yeah, but it's a temp job. Who finds happiness on a temp job ?

Piper Halliwell: [taunting Mabel] You've got us now, so why don't you blow us up?
Phoebe Halliwell: Piper, death bad, life good !


"Charmed: Sight Unseen (#3.5)" (2000)
Piper Halliwell: What am I supposed to think? The last two times they orbed him out was right in the middle of it.
Phoebe Halliwell: So what does he say?
Piper Halliwell: He swears they're not watching, but he's a guy - he'll say anything. The point is I think they're watching, and when I think, I can't, I can't, I can't concentrate.
Phoebe Halliwell: Hmm, well, at least you have the option to concentrate. If Cole and I continue this flirting tango thing, I'm gonna have to start concentrating on myself.

Leo Wyatt: Wow, you are amazing when you concentrate.
Piper Halliwell: And stop worrying about them?
[looks up skyward]
Piper Halliwell: I hope you enjoyed the show.


"Charmed: Still Charmed and Kicking (#8.1)" (2005)
[Janice Dickinson is led into the kitchen by The Brunette and Brown-Haired Woman]
Paige: [magically disguised as Janice Dickinson] What is the meaning of this? Do you have any idea who I am?
The Brunette: Yeah, as a matter of fact we do...
[the Brunette glamors into Phoebe]
Phoebe: Paige.
Paige: I'm sorry, who?
[the Brown-Haired Woman glamors into Piper]
Piper Halliwell: Nice try. Jig's up.
Paige: Oh, all right then, fine.
[Janice glamors into Paige]
Paige: Well, someone had to cry at my funeral, didn't they?

Phoebe: You wanted a normal life more than all of us, right? So what's changed all of a sudden?
Piper Halliwell: I'm a little neurotic. What do you want from me?


"Charmed: Coyote Piper (#3.9)" (2001)
Piper: Being here makes me feel exactly like I did when I was 16. Invisable and inferior.
Prue: Do you want me to beat them up. Because I"l-l-l beat them up one by one.

Terra: What kind of witch can't kill a demon without her sisters?
Piper: [Her reflection in the mirror as she was possessed] What the hell kind of demon has a panic attack when her boyfriend comes to visit?


"Charmed: How to Make a Quilt Out of Americans (#2.17)" (2000)
Piper Halliwell: All right, I'm only doing this for you guys. But if I get killed, I'm gonna haunt both of you forever.
Prue Halliwell: Yeah. Yeah.

Piper: I don't understand, how could we let her do this to us?
Prue: Because we trusted her.
Phoebe: Yeah, well she just got crossed off of my Christmas list.
Piper: Aunt Gail was Gram's best friend, she used to bake us Christmas cookies,
Piper: And now she's spiking our tea.


"Charmed: Pardon My Past (#2.14)" (2000)
Piper Halliwell: I'm getting a migraine.

Phoebe Halliwell: We were all related - cousins - and we lived here at the manor back in the '20s.
Piper Halliwell: Together? Here?
[looks at Prue]
Piper Halliwell: So much for evolution.


"Charmed: All Halliwell's Eve (#3.4)" (2000)
Prue: [to Darryl] So in the meantime we can just stick together since we are both dateless.
Piper: He's not dateless, he's married. You're dateless 'cause you're picky.

Eva: Oh, you've made that clock so small, you must posses great powers.
Piper: No, just a great credit card.


"Charmed: Witch Way Now? (#4.22)" (2002)
Phoebe Halliwell: You're pregnant!
Piper Halliwell: Who's pregnant?
Phoebe Halliwell: *You're* pregnant!
Piper Halliwell: I'm pregnant?

Paige Matthews: How am I meant to distract those guys without using magic?
Piper Halliwell: Well, you'll just have to use some of your God-given magic
[unbuttons Paige's blouse]


"Charmed: Desperate Housewitches (#8.4)" (2005)
Leo: [talking about Piper making Wyatt a costume for a school play, Piper wants to use magic] You wanted a normal life, remember?
Piper: Yes, but that was before I realized our son was going to be humiliated in front of his entire class!
Billie Jenkins: Oh, that happened to me all the time. Only made me stronger.
Piper: And shut it!

[about demons taking over Magic School]
Piper: What do they want with Wyatt?
Billie Jenkins: They need him to help bring back... "the Source"?
[Piper, Phoebe, and Paige exchange nervous glances]
Billie Jenkins: Okay, Leo looked just like that when he heard that name. Who is this guy? I mean, how do we nail him?
Piper: You don't. We do. You're not ready, trust me.


"Charmed: A Witch's Tail: Part 1 (#5.1)" (2002)
Piper: [Looking a her baby photos] Ooo look how squishy i was!

Piper: [speaking of Phoebe] She hasn't been this happy since Cole died.
Leo Wyatt: Which time?


"Charmed: Magic Hour (#3.2)" (2000)
Piper Halliwell: I swear to god I have seen this in a movie once.

Piper: We have to find a way of hiding the rutabaga.
Prue: The rutabaga?
Piper: It's code word for the thing we're not supposed to talk about.
Prue: Oh, the rutabaga.


"Charmed: Centennial Charmed (#5.12)" (2003)
Piper Halliwell: Sure. No problem. Just as soon as you tell me where I can find Shax.
Paige Matthews: Shax? What's she talking about? We vanquished him already.
Leo Wyatt: Nobody's vanquished Shax. Ever since he killed Prue, Piper's been obsessed with getting revenge on him.

Leo Wyatt: Well, your reality sounds a lot better than this one. Not just for Phoebe. So, how can I help you get it back?
Paige Matthews: I need my sisters.
Piper Halliwell: Well, maybe we can start with two and go from there.
Paige Matthews: What are you doing here?
Phoebe Halliwell: Burying the Lazarus demon. I figured if you were right about that, you were probably right about everything else as well.


"Charmed: Extreme Makeover World Edition (#7.12)" (2005)
Leo Wyatt: Alright, let's split up. We'll find more demons that way. Piper-Paige, Phoebe and me. Any sign of trouble, orb back to the manor, got it?
Paige Matthews: Got it.
Piper Halliwell: Why do you think he didn't want to go with me? Do you think he's seeing someone else?
Paige Matthews: Come on.
Piper Halliwell: What?


"Charmed: Animal Pragmatism (#2.13)" (2000)
Prue: So, Um... do you need help with anything?
Piper: What happened to doing nothing?
Prue: I'm finished.
Piper: You can't finish doing nothing
Prue: So than how do you know when you're done?


"Charmed: Repo Manor (#8.13)" (2006)
Piper Halliwell: Oh, don't tell me we're stuck in the doll house again
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, this seems to be an annual event for you


"Charmed: Witches in Tights (#5.5)" (2002)
Ramus: My meditation requires peace and quiet.
Piper Halliwell: Well, then you're in the wrong house, pal. Have you seen my husband?
Ramus: He's upstairs.
Piper Halliwell: Okay, could you tell him that I'll be at P3? He can watch over you until Phoebe shows up.
Ramus: I'll tell him no such thing. It is your job to protect me, not his. Those are the rules.
Piper Halliwell: Hmm. Little history lesson: I'm not a big fan of your rules. In fact, I take pride in breaking them.


"Charmed: That Old Black Magic (#2.6)" (1999)
[about Kyle, the chosen one to defeat Tuatha]
Piper Halliwell: But look at him! At his age he should be battling acne! Not evil witches!


"Charmed: The Torn Identity (#8.18)" (2006)
Paige Matthews: Okay. Did they just vanquish a demon that can't be vanquished?
Phoebe Halliwell: What does that mean?
Piper Halliwell: I think that means we just found the ultimate power.


"Charmed: Trial by Magic (#4.11)" (2002)
Piper Halliwell: Phoebe, since you have stalling down to a science, you and Paige go to the club and buy some time.


"Charmed: Malice in Wonderland (#8.2)" (2005)
Piper: Last year you had a premonition that you would have a daughter which means that this year you have to have a little sex and get pregnant. And since Dex, which coincidentally rhymes with sex, could be the father!
Phoebe: GOD!


"Charmed: Ms. Hellfire (#2.9)" (2000)
Marcie Steadwell: Oh, my stars!
Piper Halliwell: What is it? What's wrong?
Marcie Steadwell: You can't keep wolfsbane and holy thistle on the same shelf. Their harmonics are in complete opposition. I mean, I don't want to second-guess a sister witch, but this is all wrong. I don't see how you can cast a spell that's worth a darn.


"Charmed: Necromancing the Stone (#5.21)" (2003)
Piper: Paige! There will be no talk of testicle-orbing in front of the child!
Leo: And not around his daddy either.


"Charmed: Baby's First Demon (#5.16)" (2003)
Piper Halliwell: Oh, don't be sorry, Paige. You were brave, and you inspired me to fight and you made the world a safer place for our baby. Which is why I would like to give the baby the middle name of Matthew in honor of his super-protective Aunt Paige.
Phoebe Halliwell: I think that's a great idea.
Leo Wyatt: What do you think?
Leo Wyatt: Yeah.
Paige Matthews: Thanks.
Piper Halliwell: And I also have an idea for his first name. Wyatt, in honor of his very protective daddy.
Leo Wyatt: Really? It doesn't start with a "P."
Piper Halliwell: Eh, so we break the tradition.


"Charmed: A Paige from the Past (#4.10)" (2002)
Darryl Morris: Piper.
Piper Halliwell: Uh huh.
Darryl Morris: You froze the crime scene.
Piper Halliwell: Uh huh.
Darryl Morris: You cannot freeze a crime scene.
Piper Halliwell: Well, I did.


"Charmed: Prince Charmed (#6.12)" (2004)
Piper Halliwell: What, What's going on, who is this?
Paige Matthews: Well, uhh this is your birthday present... haha... from me, although you know Phoebe helped
Piper Halliwell: The breakfast?
Paige Matthews: Noo, the muchacho
Piper Halliwell: haha, wait, you what, you, you hired a guy for your birthday?
Phoebe Halliwell: No, we would never hire a guy for your birthday.
Paige Matthews: We MADE him... Magically
Phoebe Halliwell: uhh, you know what this is Paige's present for you, mines the surprise birthday party


"Charmed: Lost and Bound (#4.12)" (2002)
Piper: [after injuring Ludlow] Power of three spell?
Phoebe: I don't have one.
Paige: I did one.
Piper, Phoebe, Paige: The brittle winter gives way to flowers of spring, Ludlow is vanquished.
[Ludlow yells and blows up. Piper and Phoebe are looking perplexed]
Phoebe: What the hell was that?
Paige: It was a Haiku. I couldn't do the rhyming thing.


"Charmed: The Lost Picture Show (#8.7)" (2005)
Soothsayer: How many times a day do you have sex?
Piper Halliwell: A *day*? What, are you crazy?
[aside, to Leo]
Piper Halliwell: No wonder you wanted to see him. Are you kidding me?


"Charmed: The Demon Who Came in from the Cold (#3.19)" (2001)
[after Phoebe vanquishes Vornac, who was pretending to be Cole]
Piper Halliwell: How did you know?
Phoebe: The safest place Cole knows is with me. He said so.


"Charmed: Battle of the Hexes (#8.8)" (2005)
Piper: [after Billie turns Leo invisible with her new powers] Oh, NO! Who's gonna pick up the kids?


"Charmed: Valhalley of the Dolls: Part 2 (#6.2)" (2003)
Piper Halliwell: I need some space from you. I mean, who knows? This might actually turn out to be a good thing for me in the long run. I might be able to live some semblance of a normal life, not being married to an angel.


"Charmed: Gone with the Witches (#8.20)" (2006)
Piper Halliwell: I'm saying that I they they did to the laeprachasuns what the Triad did to them.
Phoebe Halliwell: Turned them against us?
Piper Halliwell: Twist everything around and make us look like the bad guys.
Paige Matthews: That's crazy. They would never believe that.
Piper Halliwell: Sure they would. Think about our track record with them lately.
Phoebe Halliwell: But what purpose would that serve? I mean, why bother?
Piper Halliwell: I don't know. To isolate us, make sure that we have a little less back-up in our time of need.


"Charmed: A Call to Arms (#7.1)" (2004)
Phoebe Halliwell: [walking down stairs with Paige to see Leo an Piper kissing] Oh! All right, stop it! You just stop it right now! Stop it, Stop it, Stop it! You go over there you over here
[Piper starts slapping her]
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh! Keep your hands to your self!
Piper Halliwell: But your interupting us...
Phoebe Halliwell: ...and saving life as we know it...
Leo Wyatt: What are you talking about?
Paige Matthews: Look at your outfit! Does that seem like something you'd normally wear?
Leo Wyatt: ...well no.
Paige Matthews: [whispers] exactly.
[speaking normally]
Paige Matthews: This
[turns Leo's head toward her]
Paige Matthews: is not the first time we've been highjacked by Gods so, you just have to fight it!
Leo Wyatt: I don't wanna fight it... I havn't felt this potent in years.
[Piper raises eyebrows]
Phoebe Halliwell: Oversharing...


"Charmed: Awakened (#2.12)" (2000)
Piper Halliwell: The barman has a connection at the docks.
Phoebe Halliwell: Wait, you smuggled it in?
Piper Halliwell: Oh, Phoebe. It's fruit, not drugs.


"Charmed: Freaky Phoebe (#7.19)" (2005)
Phoebe Halliwell: Great! I'll meet you downstairs. I'm going to go slip into something a little bit more sexy.
Piper Halliwell: Sexy? Phoebe, we're killing a demon, not going to the club.
Phoebe Halliwell: Did I say sexy? I meant... comfortable.
Piper Halliwell: Wait!
Phoebe Halliwell: God. Now what.
Piper Halliwell: Maybe we shouldn't go after this guy until we have the power of three.


"Charmed: Enter the Demon (#4.4)" (2001)
Piper: Listen to me very carefully, there is nothing more important than learning your craft right now. We could be attacked at any moment.
Paige: Then why am I stuck here reading? I should be learning how to body slam sweaty demons, like Phoebe.


"Charmed: Vaya Con Leos (#8.10)" (2005)
Angel of Destiny: There's one more battle on the horizon for you three. One unlike you've ever faced before, one you won't see coming, and one you may not survive.
Piper Halliwell: What does that have to do with Leo?
Angel of Destiny: The loss, the pain will motivate you, all of you to fight, without which you will have no chance to prevail.
Piper Halliwell: Won't you please try to let us find a way to do this without Leo dying?
Angel of Destiny: What exactly do you have in mind?


"Charmed: Little Monsters (#6.9)" (2003)
Piper Halliwell: Ok, listen to me. You will not orb down to your little friend. Do you understand me? No orbing.


"Charmed: Rewitched (#8.5)" (2005)
Phoebe: [Piper and Phoebe chiding Billie about casting a love spell on Phoebe and Dex, which caused them to marry]
Billie Jenkins: Yeah, I still don't know what I did was so bad!
Phoebe: [Indicating about her wedding ring] This, this is what's bad!
Piper: [Sees Phoebe's ring] Whoa! Hey! Wow, that's huge!
Phoebe: Pfft.


"Charmed: Long Live the Queen (#4.20)" (2002)
Piper Halliwell: Phoebe, you heard what he said, he's gonna kill us, help us!
Phoebe Halliwell: Forgive me.
Cole Turner: I'm sorry. It's for the best.
Phoebe Halliwell: I know it is.
[Phoebe kisses him]
Piper Halliwell: Phoebe?
Phoebe Halliwell: I'm sorry too.
[Phoebe traps him]
Cole Turner: Phoebe, no. No!
Phoebe Halliwell: I'm sorry, baby, I'm so sorry.
Piper Halliwell: Prudence, Penelope, Patricia, Melinda...
Phoebe Halliwell: Ashford, Helen, Laura and Grace...
Cole Turner: I will always love you.
Paige: Halliwell witches stand strong beside us.
Phoebe Halliwell: Vanquish this evil...
Paige, Phoebe Halliwell, Piper Halliwell: From time and space.
[Cole is vanquished]


"Charmed: The Power of Two (#1.20)" (1999)
Piper Halliwell: Ok, but wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa! I just realized the two of you haven't really ever been alone together.
Phoebe Halliwell: Piper, we're big girls now. I don't think we need you as a buffer anymore.
Piper Halliwell: All right. Well, what about demon stuff? What if something happens and you need the Power of Three?
Prue Halliwell: Well, then the Power of Two will just have to do.
Phoebe Halliwell: Good one.


"Charmed: Mr. & Mrs. Witch (#8.11)" (2006)
[After Billie's parents got turned into assassins]
Billie Jenkins: What is going on?
Phoebe: Piper what did you put in their food?
Piper: Food was in the food. Thank you.
Phoebe: How do you explain this?
Piper: Well don't look at me, she's the one who said assassin.
Billie Jenkins: It's a figure of speech!


"Charmed: Reckless Abandon (#2.11)" (2000)
Piper: Wow. You're like Macgyver with estrogen.
Dan Gordon: Thanks.