Phoebe Halliwell
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Quotes for
Phoebe Halliwell (Character)
from "Charmed" (1998)

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"Charmed: Something Wicca This Way Comes (#1.1)" (1998)
Phoebe Halliwell: We're the protectors of the innocent, we're known as the Charmed Ones.

Piper Halliwell: What are we going to do?
Phoebe Halliwell: What can't we do?
Prue Halliwell: We are going to be careful, we're going to be wise, and we're going to stick together.
Piper Halliwell: This should be interesting.

Prue Halliwell: You two will not be laughing when this happens to you. Believe me, everything'll be different now.
Phoebe Halliwell: Well, at least our lives won't be boring.
Prue Halliwell: But they'll never be the same.
Phoebe Halliwell: And this is a bad thing?

Phoebe Halliwell: I never touched Roger.
Prue Halliwell: Whoa!
Phoebe Halliwell: I know you think otherwise, because that's what that Armani- wearing, Chardonnay-slugging trust-funder told you. But...
Piper Halliwell: Hey! I have a great idea. Why don't I make a fabulous reunion dinner?
Prue Halliwell: I'm not hungry!
Phoebe Halliwell: I ate on the bus.
Piper Halliwell: O.K. We'll try the group hug later!

Piper Halliwell: It doesn't matter because nothing happened... Right, Phoebe?... when you did the incantation?
Phoebe Halliwell: Well, my head spun around, and I vomited split pea soup. How should I know?

Piper Halliwell: This? Do what this?
Phoebe Halliwell: Receive our powers.
Piper Halliwell: What powers? Wait. Our powers? You included me in this?
Prue Halliwell: No, she included all of us. Bring your powers to we sisters three. It's a book of witchcraft.

Piper Halliwell: You're up early.
Phoebe Halliwell: I never went to sleep.
Piper Halliwell: Don't tell me you put on a black conical hat and spent the night flying around the neighborhood on a broomstick.
Phoebe Halliwell: The only broom I've ever had was kept in a closet beside a mop.

Phoebe Halliwell: Hear now the words of the witches, the secrets we hid in the night. The oldest of gods are invoked here. Great work of magic is sought. In this night and in this hour, I call upon the ancient power. Bring your powers to we sisters three. We want the power. Give us the power.

Phoebe Halliwell: I'm not afraid of our powers. I mean, everyone inherits something from their family, right?
Prue Halliwell: Yeah, money, antiques, a strong disposition. That's what normal people inherit.

Prue Halliwell: Phoebe, I do not have special powers. Now where is the cream?
[cream moves down counter]
Phoebe Halliwell: Really? That looks pretty special to me.
Prue Halliwell: Oh, my God! So I can move things with my mind?
Phoebe Halliwell: With how much you hold inside you should be a lethal weapon by now.
Prue Halliwell: I don't believe it!
Phoebe Halliwell: This must mean that Piper can freeze time.
[Prue downs Phoebe's drink]
Phoebe Halliwell: Are you ok?
Prue Halliwell: No, I'm not O.K! You've turned me into a witch!
Phoebe Halliwell: You were born one. We all were. And I think we better start learning to deal with that.

Piper Halliwell: That was Andy. I told you I heard a man's voice. What did he want?
Prue Halliwell: He asked me out.
Piper Halliwell: And you said?
Prue Halliwell: Well, I started to say yes, but then I stopped. I wondered if I could date. I mean, do witches date?
Piper Halliwell: Not only do they date, but they usually get the best guys.
Prue Halliwell: You two won't be laughing when this happens to you. Believe me, everything'll be different now.
Phoebe Halliwell: Well, at least our lives won't be boring!
Prue Halliwell: But they'll never be the same.
Phoebe Halliwell: And this is a bad thing?
Prue Halliwell: No, but it could be a big problem.
Piper Halliwell: Prue's right. What are we going to do?
Phoebe Halliwell: What can't we do?
Prue Halliwell: We are going to be careful. We're going to be wise. And we're going to stick together.
Piper Halliwell: This should be interesting.
[the sisters walk into the Manor and Prue magically closes the door]

Piper Halliwell: You know how we've been talking about what to do with that spare room? I think you're right. We do need a roommate.
Prue Halliwell: Well, we could rent out the room at a reduced rate in exchange for help around the house.
Piper Halliwell: Phoebe's good with a wrench.
Prue Halliwell: Phoebe lives in New York.
Piper Halliwell: Not anymore.
Prue Halliwell: What?
Piper Halliwell: She left New York. She's moving back in with us.
Prue Halliwell: You've got to be kidding.
Piper Halliwell: Well, I could hardly say no. It's her house, too. It was willed to all of us.
Prue Halliwell: Yeah, months ago and we haven't seen or spoken to her since.
Piper Halliwell: Well, you haven't spoken to her.
Prue Halliwell: No, I haven't. Look, maybe you've forgotten why I'm so mad at her.
Piper Halliwell: No, of course not, but she had nowhere else to go. She lost her job, she's in debt.
Prue Halliwell: And this is news? How long have you known about this anyway?
Piper Halliwell: A couple of days. Maybe a week... or two.
Prue Halliwell: Thanks for sharing. When does she arrive?
Phoebe Halliwell: Surprise! I found the hide-a-key.

[in the pharmacy, Phoebe is trying to prove that Prue's power is tied to her emotions]
Phoebe Halliwell: Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad.
[everything along the aisle flies off the shelves]

Piper Halliwell: [seeing her boyfriend Jeremy on the news] What happened?
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh, some woman got whacked.
Piper Halliwell: "Whacked"? Phoebe, you've been in New York way too long.

[Piper and Phoebe play with their old spirit board]
Phoebe Halliwell: I forgot your question.
Piper Halliwell: I asked if Prue was going to have sex with someone other than herself this year.
Phoebe Halliwell: That's disgusting.
[under her breath, as Piper heads towards the kitchen]
Phoebe Halliwell: Please say "yes."

"Charmed: Is There a Woogy in the House? (#1.15)" (1999)
Phoebe Halliwell: Just because I protect the innocent doesn't mean I have to be innocent all of the time.

Phoebe Halliwell: Earthquakes give me the jeebies.
Prue Halliwell: Would that be the Phoebe Jeebies?
Prue Halliwell: Oh, you know. It's the comedy stylings of Prue Halliwell.
Piper Halliwell: The only Halliwell that actually likes earthquakes.
Prue Halliwell: I don't like them, but I don't go running through the house naked screaming 'run for your life' either.
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay. That is such an exaggeration. I was wearing slippers.

Woogy: Phoebe.
Phoebe Halliwell: No.
Woogy: Your nightmares are true. I exist.
Phoebe Halliwell: I'm a good witch. You can't take me.
Woogy: You'll fight me at first. But in the end, you'll do everything I ask.

Piper Halliwell: I thought he was gonna kill me. I didn't even have a chance to freeze him. Where'd you get the bat?
Phoebe Halliwell: I don't know. It just sort of appeared.

Piper Halliwell: Okay, okay. Sabotage, I am being sabotaged!
Phoebe Halliwell: What seems to be the problem?
Piper Halliwell: There is something terribly wrong with the house. Oh my God, oh my God, call a plumber. This is a complete and total disaster. Someone just kill me now and spare me the agony of clean up.
Phoebe Halliwell: Ask and you shall receive.

Piper Halliwell: Phoebe, what's wrong with you? Why won't you let us in?
Phoebe Halliwell: No, you can't, you shouldn't. You don't live here anymore!
[deep voice]
Phoebe Halliwell: He does.

Phoebe Halliwell: Any fantasies about how you want to die?
Prue Halliwell: Phoebe, listen to me. This isn't you!
Phoebe Halliwell: Give the girl a prize.

Phoebe Halliwell: I'm beginning to wonder if I have a good one. Well I am. I mean up until now I didn't even think I had a dark side. I mean, not any more so than anyone else.
Prue Halliwell: Yeah, well. The important thing is the good side won out.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, but I must have been more susceptible than either one of you, otherwise he wouldn't of chosen me, right? Right?
Piper Halliwell: You were the only one that was born in the house, that makes you more connected to it. That spiritual nexus thing.
Phoebe Halliwell: That's exactly my point. I could go either way. Good or evil. Kinda freaky. I do have to tell you I am gonna miss that new power though. It was so fun.
Piper Halliwell: If Grams put away the shadow and it came back.
Prue Halliwell: Means it can come back again. Okay, it's time. Every witch before us has added to the Book of Shadows. We need to warn who comes next. It's our turn.
Phoebe Halliwell: Who should do it?
[Prue hands Phoebe a pen and she begins to write]

Phoebe Halliwell: I am light. I am one too strong to fight. Return to dark where shadows dwell. You cannot have this Halliwell.
Phoebe Halliwell: Go away and leave my sight, and take with you this endless night.

Phoebe: Welcome to Halliwell Manor. My name is Phoebe. I'll be your cruise director this evening.

Phoebe: [conjures a machete in her hand] Any fantasies about how you'd want to die?
Prue: Phoebe, listen to me. This isn't you.
Phoebe: Give the girl a prize!

Piper: There has to be a way out of here!
Prue: We've tried everything, Piper. Besides, the only way to help Phoebe is from inside.
Piper: Help her kill us, maybe.
Prue: Yeah, well we have to keep trying.
Phoebe: [shouting from afar] Prue! Piper! Help me!
Prue: Do you think...
Phoebe: [shouting from afar] Please! You've got to help me! Down in the basement!
Piper: Trap!
Prue: Yeah, well, what else can we do?
Piper: We could not go to the basement. I'd vote for that.
Prue: Grams must've thought that this evil might come back, and that's why she told us this story.
Piper: Well, how do we remember the words? I never even believed in the Woogyman.
Prue: No, but Phoebe did. She knows the story by heart.
Piper: Something tells me she's not in the mood to share.

"Charmed: The Wendigo (#1.12)" (1999)
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay, I'm great with phones, better with people, I'm very computer friendly, and with a paycheck, I could purchase new clothes, so by hiring me, you'd actually be expanding your wardrobe not decreasing it. And I'd be eternally grateful.

Phoebe Halliwell: There's a reason my résumé is only three sentences long, Piper.

Prue Halliwell: Guess that bracelet was worth more than I thought it was.
Phoebe Halliwell: Are you kidding? It's priceless. Thank god for my powers.
Prue Halliwell: It wasn't just your powers that did that, Phoebes.

Phoebe Halliwell: We still need to take a trip to the army-navy store.
Prue Halliwell: Why?
Phoebe Halliwell: To get a flare gun.
Piper Halliwell: [growls] Screw you, bitch!
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay, I think we need to hurry.
Prue Halliwell: Yeah, just hang in there, Piper.

Phoebe Halliwell: My turn. This time we don't fire until I see slobber on its face.

Phoebe Halliwell: Are you okay?
Piper Halliwell: I think so. But I'm naked and freezing.

Piper Halliwell: On the house for saving my hide.
Phoebe Halliwell: Literally, you Wendigo you.

Piper Halliwell: And Andy. By the way, what did you tell him about why we were all there?
Prue Halliwell: I told him the truth.
Phoebe Halliwell: Get out!
Prue Halliwell: I did. I said that what he saw happen was true, that Agent Fallon really was the Wendigo, and that had we not vanquished her, that both he and Piper would have been killed. I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Piper Halliwell: Well, what did he say?
Prue Halliwell: Not much. He was either too stunned to speak or actually believed me on some level. It was the closest that we've ever come to having an honest conversation.

Phoebe Halliwell: Listen, you. While we're at work. Woah... head rush. While "we're" at work.

Phoebe Halliwell: I don't understand. Why didn't you just freeze him?
Piper Halliwell: I was trapped in a phone booth. My power doesn't work outside the room I'm in, remember?

Phoebe Halliwell: Because I convinced Pure to hire me and what if I disappoint her? or what if I screw up and make her look bad? There's a reason my résumé is only three sentences long, Piper.
Piper Halliwell: Why?
Phoebe Halliwell: Because I convinced Pure to hire me and what if I disappoint her? or what if I screw up and make her look bad? There's a reason my résumé is only three sentences long, Piper.

"Charmed: Wicca Envy (#1.10)" (1999)
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh, look: front clasp bra. She means business.
Prue Halliwell: Serious business.
Piper Halliwell: Do you mind?
Phoebe Halliwell: No, are you kidding? I think it's great - as long as he's not still on the clock.
Piper Halliwell: That's what I mean. You guys have to get out of here before he unfreezes. I never know how long this things lasts. How much did you guys spend?
Phoebe Halliwell: Lots. Prue's new look is perfect for an SHW.
Prue Halliwell: SHW?
Phoebe Halliwell: Single Hot Witch.
Piper Halliwell: Prue, are you sure this isn't depression buying, you know, post-breakup?
Phoebe Halliwell: [take out a red bra] Does this look like something a depressed woman would wear?
Prue Halliwell: Hmm, maybe you should borrow it.
Piper Halliwell: Okay, time's up. You two gotta go. Go, go in there and be quiet.
Phoebe Halliwell: We will if you will.

Phoebe Halliwell: Whoa, whoa, whoa! You, Leo, last night, dish!
Piper Halliwell: Umm, well, it was nice. It was... well, it was wonderful. We just had a few problems.
Phoebe Halliwell: Problems?
Prue Halliwell: What problems?
Piper Halliwell: Well, it's been a while since, you know, I-I was a little nervous and I kinda kept freezing him
Prue Halliwell: Piper, you didn't?
Phoebe Halliwell: I didn't mean to... the first time.

Phoebe Halliwell: Did anyone ever think that maybe he's a warlock?
Piper Halliwell: Why is it always someone I'm dating that gets accused of being that? Don't answer that. Answer that. It's safer.

Prue Halliwell: Somebody must have manipulated me into taking it.
Phoebe Halliwell: The same away someone manipulated me into being a witness against my own sister.
Darryl Morris: Any idea what they're talking about?
Inspector Andy Trudeau: Not a clue.
Prue Halliwell: You were with Rex tonight, weren't you?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, Prue, but I don't think this is the time or place to get into that.
Prue Halliwell: No, I just meant that don't you find it a little coincidental that right when you guys start dating, all this is going on?
Phoebe Halliwell: No, I do not. And, besides, I thought you thought that Hannah was behind all this.
Prue Halliwell: I do.
Inspector Andy Trudeau: Excuse me. Ladies, do you mind if we ask a few questions?

Phoebe Halliwell: Mind control, astral projection, throwing charms, who knows? Prue is right about Rex, which means, I'm dating a warlock.
Piper Halliwell: Been there, done that.

Phoebe Halliwell: [Piper freezes guards] Totally cool power. I hate you.

Prue Halliwell: Don't you think that I know that? I mean, how do you think I feel, Phoebe? I'm the one who got us into this situation.
Piper Halliwell: Prue, it's not your fault.
Phoebe Halliwell: It's not.
Prue Halliwell: Yeah, but I'm the one that the Rex tricked. I'm the reason why we're having this conversation.
Phoebe Halliwell: There has gotta to be a way out of this.
Piper Halliwell: Like what? Become fugitives? Something tells me that's not the best way to go about protecting the innocent.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, well, we can't protect the innocent without our powers. And, even worse, if we give them up, we'd be giving them up to evil.
Prue Halliwell: No, we can't let that happen.
Piper Halliwell: Well, we can't let you die in jail, either. Besides, with you behind bars, we'll be divided. Rex wins either way.
Phoebe Halliwell: I don't wanna have to do this.
Piper Halliwell: Neither do I, but we don't have a choice. All we can do is take the leap of faith and hope that somehow it all works out.

Phoebe Halliwell: Look. It was fun while it lasted.

Piper Halliwell: How do we know this isn't just a trap?
Rex Buckland: You don't actually. Nevertheless here you are. Powerless, I presume.
Prue Halliwell: Where's Hannah?
Rex Buckland: Lurking. That's what she does best. The lantern, if you please. It all feels a little anticlimactic, don't you think? Too easy, almost. It feels as if we need a more satisfying ending.
Phoebe Halliwell: [Hannah attacks as a panther] Oh, oh.
[Leo heals the Book of Shadows]
Rex Buckland: No. Hannah, now. Quickly.
[Piper freezes her]

Phoebe Halliwell: What are you doing?
Prue Halliwell: Just getting rid the Relinquishment spell. However we got our powers back, I certainly I don't want to risk losing them again.
Piper Halliwell: I second that.
Piper Halliwell: Third.
Prue Halliwell: So, witches forever?
Phoebe Halliwell: And damn proud of it.
[Burns up spell]

Rex Buckland: Quite photogenic. Now I should think the police will find this very interesting, to say the least.
Prue Halliwell: Rex?
Phoebe Halliwell: Wait. How did you know that we...
Rex Buckland: What, that you'd be here? Well, let's just say that I've been watching your every move. Yeah, without you knowing it, of course.
Prue Halliwell: You bastard.
Rex Buckland: Don't get too angry, Prue. You really wouldn't want to injure me with your power. I'm the only chance you have. While you were conducting your little prison break, Hannah was retrieving the tiara from your home. You should have gotten rid of it while you had the chance. Personally, I actually thought that was an excellent idea.
Phoebe Halliwell: Astral projection.
Prue Halliwell: What do you want?
Rex Buckland: Your powers, of course. That's why I hired you in the first place, you know, to see if you really were The Charmed Ones. Then I waited to test your strength, see how best to make my move, and here we are.
Phoebe Halliwell: But why all the drama? Why didn't you just kill us and take our powers?
Piper Halliwell: Don't give him any ideas.
Rex Buckland: No, no, no. I have seen exactly what you can do when you've been confronted directly. That is why I opted for blackmail. See, there is a special spell in the book of shadows that strips you of your powers forever, and this device will capture those powers. Then you'll bring them to me.
Prue Halliwell: Go to hell.
Rex Buckland: Yeah, I'd love to, darling. I miss it terribly. And this will help me return with honors. In return, I'll give you the photo and tell the police I simply misplaced the tiara. No theft, no motive for murder, no prison. You really don't have much time, just until the prison guards realize you've escaped.

"Charmed: Dream Sorcerer (#1.5)" (1998)
Phoebe Halliwell: [as Piper is flipping through the Book of Shadows] I'm telling you, there's no Dream Sorcerer stuff anywhere.
Piper Halliwell: That's impossible. The Book of Shadows has never let us down.
Phoebe Halliwell: Well, maybe he's not a demon. Maybe he's a mortal.
Piper Halliwell: Then he's got one hell of a power.
Phoebe Halliwell: You're not kidding.

Phoebe Halliwell: There must be more to our powers than warlock-wasting.

Phoebe Halliwell: You want a man who is single, smart, endowed?
Piper Halliwell: Employed.

Prue Halliwell: Piper? Phoebe?
Piper Halliwell: Prue. You're home. I thought you had a date with Andy.
Prue Halliwell: Uh, no. He had to cancel. What are you doing?
Piper Halliwell: Hmm...
Phoebe Halliwell: [from the other room] Piper, I was wrong. The spell calls for cayenne pepper not black pepper.
[She walks in the kitchen and sees Prue]
Phoebe Halliwell: Ooh. Did I say spell? I... I meant recipe. We are so busted, aren't we?
Prue Halliwell: I would say yes.

Phoebe Halliwell: You want a man who is single, smart, endowed?
Piper Halliwell: Employed.
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh, sorry, employed. A man who loves sleeping in on Sunday, sunset bike rides, cuddling by a roaring fire, and late-night talks. A man who loves love as much as you do. Wow. You're a romantic.
Piper Halliwell: Yep. Your turn. You want the sexy, silent type that finds you driving through town on the back of a Harley at 3:00 in the morning. A man who appreciates scented candles, body oils and Italian sheets.
Phoebe Halliwell: He's about hunger and lust and danger and even know you know all this, even know you know he'll never meet your friends or share a holiday meal with your family, you still can't stay away. And he recycles.
Piper Halliwell: He recycles?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah. And I think it goes without saying we both want a man who is well employed.

Phoebe Halliwell: Don't worry. We had safe sex. A lot of safe sex.

Piper Halliwell: What happened?
Piper Halliwell: He wouldn't leave me alone all night. He kept touching me. And practically every guy in the bar was hitting on me. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I ditched Hans and left him at the club. So, how was your date?
Piper Halliwell: Perfect. Everything was perfect. Even my faults were perfect.
Phoebe Halliwell: And this is a bad thing?
Piper Halliwell: It wasn't real. Everything he said, everything he felt, it was because of the spell, not because of me.
Phoebe Halliwell: Piper, you don't know that. Maybe he meant every word. Maybe if it wasn't for the spell he would've never had a chance to feel those things. Let alone say them.
Piper Halliwell: No, Phoebe. Love is a magic between two people that cannot be explained and cannot be conjured. What we did, it's just... it's not right.

Phoebe Halliwell: Tons of fun, lots of heats and no strings attached. That's what I want.
Piper Halliwell: I know this may not sound very P.C., but I want romance. Long, slow kisses, late-night talks, candle lights. I love love. I'd take what Prue has in a flat second.

Piper Halliwell: So, what's up?
Phoebe Halliwell: I found this spell. How to attract a lover.
Piper Halliwell: No, Phoebe. Forget it. We're not casting any spells.
Phoebe Halliwell: Come on. There must be more to our powers than warlock wasting. I'm ready to have some fun with our magic.
Piper Halliwell: No. No personal gain, remember?
Phoebe Halliwell: How is it personal gain if we're using our powers to bring happiness to another person. And in my case lots and lots of happiness.
Piper Halliwell: Could you pass me that colander, please?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah. Look, I'm not talking about marriage here. We have our thirties to freak out about that. This spell is about having good time.
Piper Halliwell: I admit it's tempting. The dating scene can be a little frustrating. But bringing men into our life through a spell, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that a little bit desperate.
Phoebe Halliwell: No. How is asking for what you want being desperate? I say it's not. I say it's empowering. Besides, the Book of Shadows says we could reverse this spell at any time.

Piper Halliwell: Prue?
Prue Halliwell: Piper. Phoebe.
Phoebe Halliwell: Prue?
Whitaker Berman: They can't help you. You're mine, now.
Phoebe Halliwell: I'm scared.
Piper Halliwell: I know. Me too.
Phoebe Halliwell: What do we do?
Piper Halliwell: We don't let her give up. Prue, listen to me. You've got to fight with this guy.
Phoebe Halliwell: Don't leave us.
Piper Halliwell: Use your power, Prue.
Phoebe Halliwell: Come back to us.
Piper Halliwell: Use your power.
Phoebe Halliwell: You can do it, Prue.
Prue Halliwell: Where are you?
Whitaker Berman: You're powerless.
[carries Prue to the edge of the roof]
Whitaker Berman: Shall I say good night, hmm?
Prue Halliwell: No, let me. Good night.
[Prue uses her power shoving him off the building]

"Charmed: Hell Hath No Fury (#4.3)" (2001)
Phoebe: Well, because she's our sister.
Piper: Not for long.
[Piper and Phoebe run out of the attic]
Cole: [Cole grabs a chair and sits down]
Phoebe: [Phoebe runs back into the room] Are you coming?
Cole: To vanquish your sister?
Cole: I think I'll sit this one out.

Phoebe: Cole is not your problem, Piper, and you know it.
[They fight]
Paige: Book!
[the Book of Shadows orbs to her]
Paige: Please let there be something in here.
[Cole conjures an energy ball]
Phoebe: Cole don't! You think I abandoned you. You think it's my fault that Prue died. You blame me, you should just admit it.
[Piper hits her]
Paige: You don't wanna kill me, Piper, you don't even know me! It's not about me, it's not about Phoebe is it?
Phoebe: Leo!
[Leo orbs in. Piper swipes at Paige. Paige orbs behind Piper]
Paige: Phoebe's not the sister who abandoned you, it's Prue isn't it?
[Piper grabs Paige around the throat]
Phoebe: Leo do something!
[Leo orbs Paige and Piper out]
Cole: Where did he take them?
Phoebe: To what Piper's really angry at.
[Cut to scene of Piper, Paige and Leo orbing into Mausoleum. Piper backs away, the camera pans to show the three of them are standing in front of Prue's urn chamber]
Paige: Tell her Piper! It's alright to hate her!
[Piper shakes her head and turns to the door]
Paige: You should hate her!
[Piper grabs the door which is locked and shakes it]
Paige: When my parents died I hated them for it! I was alone and I hated them! It is okay to hate Prue!
[Piper turns around and walks up to Paige]
Piper: How dare you!
[Piper turns and runs to Prue's urn chamber and hits it]
Piper: How dare you leave me! How could you go and die and leave me here alone! Please come back! I need you! Please come back! Aah!
[Piper falls to the floor crying, Leo walks to her]
Leo Wyatt: It's okay, it's okay honey.
Piper: It's not okay. I mean she risked her life everyday and she never thought about what would happen to me and Phoebe if she was gone!
Leo Wyatt: I know.
Piper: How could she think that I could live without her?

Phoebe: Dirtbag. Okay. "Guided spirits, hear our plea, annul this magic, let it be."
Paige: Please let it be.
[Paige's breasts return to normal size. She looks down and groans]
Paige: Do you think it worked a little too well?

Phoebe: I just hope he finds her fast because if this is anything like the time I turned into a Banshee, she's gonna be hungry for a kill.
Paige: I'm sorry. A Banshee?
Phoebe: Yeah. Demonic screamer, kinda trampy, feeds on pain.
Paige: I think I need to sit down.
[sits in front of Donnie]
Donnie: [stares at Paige's large chest] Whoa!
Leo Wyatt: [Paige socks him in the face knocking him out] Paige!
Paige: What? You only said I couldn't use magic to punish him.

Piper: You are so... busted?
Phoebe: Hello!
Paige Matthews: You stole our sacred book so you could perform magical plastic surgery on yourself?
Paige Matthews: You think I did this on purpose? My body was perfectly fine just as it was. Thank you.
Phoebe: Piper, you could have just blown up a dozen innocent people.
Piper: I took a chance.
Phoebe: See? Are you listening to yourself?
Piper: What happened?
Paige Matthews: I don't know. They just grew.
Piper: Oh, right. And you had nothing to do with that.
Phoebe: Did you cast any spells?
Paige Matthews: One.
[Phoebe gives her a nod]
Paige Matthews: Five.
Piper: Five?
Phoebe: Okay, what did you do just before you turned into Betty Boop?
Paige Matthews: Well. I cast a spell on this slimeball I work with so I could give him a taste of his own medicine.
Phoebe: That the slimeball?
Piper: And that's the backfire.
Paige Matthews: Backfire?
Phoebe: You misused magic to make him the object of ogling, and the spell backfired and did the same thing to you.
Piper: Which you would have learned if you had bothered to ask. But now instead of vanquishing demons, we're gonna have to spend the afternoon fixing your mess.
Phoebe: Okay, Piper, call Leo and get him to orb this slimeball back home. And we have to protect him until we can figure out a way to reverse the spell. Paige and I will grab the book and meet you there.
[Paige looks down at herself and pouts]

Phoebe: Uh, Piper? Promise me you're not going to overreact.
Piper: Is that even possible?

Piper: Evil got the Book of Shadows! How did evil get the Book of Shadows?
Phoebe: Oh, no!
Piper: 'Oh, no!' Pheobe? A demon has the Book of Shadows! 'Oh, no!' doesn't quite cover it!

Phoebe: Why don't you go see who's at the door for us, okay?
Cole: Sure. If it's The Source, I'll just ask him to come back later.

Paige: This is all my fault. I shouldn't have stolen the Book of Shadows.
Leo Wyatt: You STOLE the Book of Shadows?
Phoebe: Leo, Leo. Concentrate, please.

Phoebe: Two witches and a half a demon does not the Power of Three make.

"Charmed: That '70s Episode (#1.17)" (1999)
Phoebe Halliwell: Every time I've made a wish, I've wished for time with mom. And I believed in my heart that some day, some how, that wish would come true.

Penny "Grams" Halliwell: You're going to be a handful, aren't you?
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh, you'll learn to adore me.

Piper Halliwell: This can't be happening. I'm getting a migraine.
Phoebe Halliwell: Better not. I don't think Advil's been invented yet. And apparently neither has this spell. It's not in here anywhere.

Piper Halliwell: Prue, we're not just stuck in jail, we're stuck in the past.
Prue Halliwell: Yes, I know, Piper. I've been following.
Phoebe Halliwell: Bright side?
Piper Halliwell: Oh, I dare you.
Phoebe Halliwell: Well, maybe we could get to know mom better. Or in my case, finally. I mean, if we really are stuck here, we might as well take advantage of it, right? And maybe we could even keep her from dying young this time

Patty Halliwell: How'd you know I was pregnant? Who are you people?
Phoebe Halliwell: Your daughters.

Penny "Grams" Halliwell: Where was I born?
Patty Halliwell: Mom!
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: I'm still not convinced that they're not warlocks.
Prue Halliwell: Boston. In a hotel room. Breech.
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: What was my husband's name?
Prue Halliwell: Which husband?
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: Who's Melinda Warren?
Phoebe Halliwell: The beginning of our family line. She gave us our powers, our destiny.
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: What's the secret ingredient in my blueberry cobbler?
Piper Halliwell: Honey. And a splash of rum.
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: What's IBM selling at in your time?
Patty Halliwell: Mom!

Penny "Grams" Halliwell: Well, look at you. The three of you. Oh, Patty, I always knew that I would deliver The Charmed Ones. Uh, once removed, of course. Prue. Piper. And...
Phoebe Halliwell: Phoebe!

Prue Halliwell: Oops.
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: What happened?
Patty Halliwell: Where did you go?
Piper Halliwell: We didn't go anywhere. We were just standing here, and the next thing we knew ...
Phoebe Halliwell: We were just standing here.

Phoebe Halliwell: You don't understand. Every time I've made a wish, I've wished for time with mom. And I believed in my heart that someday somehow that wish would come true, and when it finally did I didn't want to let her go. You know, but then I realized that I had to let her go. So I took the note out and I put it in my pocket.

Phoebe Halliwell: Are you kidding? That is the best picture of me I've ever taken.

"Charmed: Charmed Again: Part 2 (#4.2)" (2001)
Phoebe: I figured only one of us could break down at a time, otherwise, we'd both be useless.

Phoebe: Hmm, another P, imagine that.

Leo: Are you sure she orbed? Are you sure that wasn't something else?
Phoebe: Leo, she disappeared. Bright, white, shiny... thingies came and she reappeared.
Phoebe: What else could it be?
Leo: It just doesn't make any sense.
Cole: Why not?
Leo: Why would Shax want to kill a whitelighter?
Cole: Maybe he doesn't know she's a whitelighter.
Leo: Right... The Source sends out his personal assassin but doesn't know who he's after.
[Piper clangs dishes in background]
Phoebe: Is it possible she didn't know she's a whitelighter?
Leo: No, why?
Cole: Because she acted as if she didn't. She acted just as surprised as we were when she orbed out.
Leo: That doesn't make any sense either.
Phoebe: Okay, why don't you go up and ask the Elders what does make sense, so we don't go risking our lives again?
Leo: I'll be right back.

Cole: [Cole shimmers into room] Sorry I took so long. I had to dodge a couple bounty hunters.
Leo: Did you find anything out?
Cole: You have no idea what I found out. Turns out The Source doesn't think she's a whitelighter at all, in fact, he thinks she might be another
[pauses and points at Piper and Phoebe]
Cole: Charmed One. That's why he put Shax on it. He thought he ended the Power of Three, now he's worried that the girl may some how reconstitute it.
Phoebe: No, but that's not possible,
[turns to Leo]
Phoebe: Is that possible?
[Leo shrugs, Piper turns and walks out of the room]
Phoebe: Piper?
Cole: Piper?

Phoebe: Leo, how is it possible for an angel to even get knocked out. I mean you are after all technically dead.
Leo Wyatt: Three years together and now you're asking these questions.
Piper: Well, uh, I think the more appropriate questions is: How does a whitelighter get somebody knocked up?

Paige Matthews: I won't stay long. I just wanted to come by and thank you.
Phoebe: For what?
Paige Matthews: For what? You mean, beside from saving my life. I feel like I should bake you a cake or something.
Piper Halliwell: Do you cook?
Paige Matthews: No, no. Not really.

Phoebe: Can I ask you a question?
Paige Matthews: Hmmm.
Piper Halliwell: Why did you come to Prue's funeral? I mean, you never even met her. Right?
Paige Matthews: No. I never did. I don't want this to be taken the wrong way, but I just feel like a part of me lost her too and I just... I felt drawn to her; to all you guys. I guess it was just a part of me trying to find out who I was.
Piper Halliwell: Come on. There's something we need to show you.
Paige Matthews: Show me what?
Phoebe: What good magic can do.

Piper Halliwell: Here these words. Hear my cry spirit from the other side. Come to me, I summon thee. Cross now the Great Divide.
[Patty Halliwell appears]
Phoebe: There's someone here we thought you should meet.
Patty Halliwell: Paige.
Paige Matthews: Mom?
[Patty steps up and embraces Paige]
Patty Halliwell: Welcome home.

[after Piper, Phoebe, and Paige vanquish Shax]
Phoebe: It's not enough. Shax was just the messenger. We need to get The Source.
Paige Matthews: The source of what?
[Piper and Phoebe exchange nervous glances]
Piper Halliwell: Of All Evil.

"Charmed: From Fear to Eternity (#1.13)" (1999)
Prue Halliwell: If he can kill thirteen unmarried witches before midnight, he'll be freed from the underworld to wreak his terror every single day.
Phoebe Halliwell: Unmarried? Like being single didn't have enough problems.
Piper Halliwell: You can never be too rich or too safe.
Phoebe Halliwell: You know, that's why I like shopping with Piper!

Phoebe Halliwell: Oh, look. A lady bug.
Prue Halliwell: Is that bad luck?
[Piper gives Prue a sarcastic look]
Phoebe Halliwell: Actually, Grams once said that whatever direction it flies it, it's supposed to find your ideal mate. We got to try it.
[Phoebe flicks at the ladybug. It lands on a guy's shoulder]
Piper Halliwell: [embarassed] Oh.
Piper Halliwell: So, does a positive superstition cancel out a negative one?
Piper Halliwell: I don't know.
Phoebe Halliwell: What's going on?
Prue Halliwell: That guy has been talking to Piper all day and she's been avoiding him because she...
[a bunch of food drops in Prue's lap]
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh, no.
Piper Halliwell: You should've thrown the...
Prue Halliwell: You know what, Piper, don't say it. I'm going to have to go home and change.
Phoebe Halliwell: Be careful. I love you.
Prue Halliwell: Yeah.

Phoebe Halliwell: I love you.
Prue Halliwell: Yeah, me too.
Piper Halliwell: I wonder if she knows she does that.
[What she meant it's that Prue never says I love you]

Phoebe Halliwell: No, you just said 'me too' and you never say it to Piper either. Have you ever said 'I love you' to anybody?
Prue Halliwell: Yeah, I said it to mom and it was the last thing I said to her before she died.

Phoebe Halliwell: Let go or I'll scream.
Demon of Fear: I could use the fix.

Phoebe Halliwell: Oh my God, I was so scared.
Prue Halliwell: I know. I'm just glad you're safe.
Phoebe Halliwell: I don't know what would happen if I ever lost you. I love you.
Prue Halliwell: I love you.

Phoebe Halliwell: Well, he pushed her into a pool and then...
Prue Halliwell: And mom helped me out.
Piper Halliwell: Mom?
Prue Halliwell: Okay, I know it sounds crazy but I saw her. It was just like my dream. She was this incredible vision, so peaceful and she took my hand and brought me to the surface.
Piper Halliwell: That doesn't sound crazy. I wish I could've seen her.

Prue Halliwell: I love you.
Phoebe Halliwell: I think that's the first time you've said that to me.
Prue Halliwell: Yeah, I know, I wish I had of said it a long time ago. Ever since mum died I've been afraid to say it. I didn't want to lose anybody else.

Barbas: [Sees Prue come to the surface of the pool] What? How'd you...?
Prue: I'm not scared anymore.
[Uses her power of telekinesis on him throwing him back a good few feet]
Barbas: [Stands up and the clock strikes midnight] NOOOOOO!
[Disappears into wherever he came from]
Phoebe: [Bindings magically disappear and she stands up looking at her eldest sister] I was so scared. I thought I lost you forever.
Prue: You're not gonna lose me. It's over. Something happened when I was at the bottom and Mom appeared. She took my hand and brought me to the surface.
Phoebe: Whatever happened, it saved your life and mine. What do you think happened to him?
Prue: I think he went back to wherever he came from in the first place. At least we won't have to deal with him ever again. He's back in the bottle for 200 years.
Phoebe: [Hugs her] I'm just glad you're alright.
Prue: [Hugs her baby sister back] I love you.
Phoebe: [Pulls away to look at her surprised] That's the first time you ever said that to me.
Prue: I know. And I wish I would've said it sooner. I was just afraid that after Mom died, that if I got close to you and Piper, I'd lose you too.

"Charmed: Love Hurts (#1.21)" (1999)
Prue Halliwell: Okay, so that spell switched all of our powers.
Piper Halliwell: Am I going to get yelled at?
Phoebe Halliwell: It's a supernatural Freaky Friday.

[Prue and Piper just find out Leo is a Whitelighter]
Prue Halliwell: What is he again?
Phoebe Halliwell: He's a Whitelighter. You know, kinda like how Peter Pan has Tinkerbell? They're sort of like that only minus the tutu and wings.

Phoebe Halliwell: [after Prue vanquishes Alec] You okay?
Prue Halliwell: I can't believe how much hate that took. I *never* want to feel like that again.

Phoebe Halliwell: Stella, we are gettin' our groove back.

Leo Wyatt: They seduce innocent women. Their goal is to create evil through reproduction.
Phoebe Halliwell: Great. Generation 666.

Prue Halliwell: Hey, what's going on?
Phoebe Halliwell: You know, the usual. Made some coffee, read the newspaper, walked in on Piper switching powers with Leo. You know.

Prue Halliwell: When I first got my power, it was anger that triggered it, so I need to push our buttons.
Phoebe Halliwell: Ok, it's not so easy to break me.
Prue Halliwell: What was it in high school that the guys started calling you after they caught you making out with someone under the bleachers?
Phoebe Halliwell: It's not gonna work.
Prue Halliwell: What was that? Oh, yeah. Freebie.
[Phoebe moves magazine rack]

Prue Halliwell: Okay, now would be a very good time to get angry.
Alec: I've never used this on a witch before.
Prue Halliwell: Ooh, Grams car, fender dented. You got blamed for it. I did it.
Phoebe Halliwell: Ohh!
[sends Alec flying]
Phoebe Halliwell: I got grounded for that, Prue!

Prue Halliwell: Remember when I said that you had no vision?
Phoebe Halliwell: Which time?
Prue Halliwell: Oh, you will never hear it again. Takes a lot of strength to see what you see.

"Charmed: Morality Bites (#2.2)" (1999)
Phoebe Halliwell: What did I do Premonition the man to death?

Phoebe Halliwell: I wouldn't. I couldn't. What did I do, premonition the man to death?

Phoebe Halliwell: Leo, thank God! Look, I know what they think I did and if you just...
Leo Wyatt: Shh... they'll hear you.
Phoebe Halliwell: Where's the rest of the cavalry?
Leo Wyatt: They're not coming.
Phoebe Halliwell: So, what, you'll grab me and we'll just orb and we'll meet them back at the...
Leo Wyatt: Phoebe, I'm sorry.
Phoebe Halliwell: For what? Did something happen to my sisters?
Leo Wyatt: Nobody's gonna rescue you.
Phoebe Halliwell: [to Leo] If that is some kind of whitelighter humour, let me be the first to tell you, you are not a very funny race of people.

Phoebe Halliwell: So what if he did? What's he gonna do? Cry witch? Well, we've done our good deed for the day. I think I deserve fifteen minutes of channel surfing.

Nathaniel Pratt: I love the smell of burnt witch in the morning.
Phoebe Halliwell: At least I'm paying for my crime. There'll come a day where you have to pay for yours too.
Nathaniel Pratt: Remorseless to the end. Let today be a lesson to all those who would seek to defy human nature with their way of life. Let today serve notice that black magic will not be tolerated in our society and let today be remembered as the day we burned the witch.

Phoebe Halliwell: Wrong things done for the right reasons still the wrong thing. Our job is to protect the innocent, not punish the guilty. And I crossed that line, I know that. And now you guys have to know that too.
Prue Halliwell: We are not leaving here without you.
Phoebe Halliwell: Prue, we were sent here for a reason. Maybe not to stop this like we thought. But maybe to understand why this has to happen. Why you have to let this happen. I don't want to die. But I don't want you to die because of me.

Phoebe Halliwell: Apparently neither have we. I think this is why we were sent back here to this moment and time. This is where it all started. The first time we used our magic for revenge.

Prue Halliwell: Look, this is Pratt's personal crusade. This isn't about us, this is about him. Where ever we go, he will follow us. He will hunt us. He will hunt our families. If anybody should be punished, it should be him.
Phoebe Halliwell: Prue, what are you doing?
Prue Halliwell: Saving the future good witches and our future.

Phoebe Halliwell: Once you break the small rules, it's just a matter of time before the big ones are next.

"Charmed: Pre-Witched (#3.17)" (2001)
Phoebe: [sings by the BoS] "I am working on a vainquish, I... "
[sees Prue smiling and stops]

Phoebe: Wait a minute. Life altering plans cannot be squeezed in between 'pass the newspaper' and 'who ate the Special K?'!

Phoebe: Oh, you guys didn't have to get out of bed for little old me.
Officer: Mrs. Halliwell?
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Can I hear what she did first before I answer that?
Officer: She was caught shoplifting.
Phoebe: Oh, that is so not true! I just forgot to pay them Grams. The store's not even pressing charges.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Phoebe!

Piper Halliwell: You know, just because I'm moving out doesn't mean we still can't do this.
Phoebe: What? Mainline caffeine while waxing on warlock issues?
Piper Halliwell: No, hangout. You know, I don't wanna be one of those old married leapers that nobody thinks is fun anymore.
Prue Halliwell: You've never been fun Piper.
Piper Halliwell: I've always been fun Prue. I am just Mrs. Fun now.
Prue Halliwell: Oh, Mrs. Fun.

Prue Halliwell: Spell?
Phoebe: Check! Potion?
Piper Halliwell: Check! Sharp painful implement?
Prue Halliwell: [Prue holds up a fireplace tool] Check!
Phoebe: Ooh, nice choice.
Prue Halliwell: Thank you.

Phoebe: Yeah, it's um, it's just we're more than excited that you and Leo decided to move back in... um, we sort of have to ask you to move back out again...

Phoebe: Here, they're just a little bit out of my budget.
Shoe Salesman: But they're...
Phoebe: Perfect! I know... and all of these would have been perfect too...

Phoebe: I'm not sure what my future holds, but it's not in San Francisco. The only thing I add to this threesome is trouble.

Phoebe: And why would I spend my time on a wimp who's got mother issues?
Prue Halliwell: I don't know. But why should I believe anything that you say? I mean, you don't even know the difference between what belongs to you and what belongs to, oh, let's say Macy's.
Piper Halliwell: [In the middle again] Alrighty then. Are we done?

"Charmed: I Dream of Phoebe (#6.15)" (2004)
Phoebe: You can't just pop in here from the future and play with people's lives because your big brother picked on you.
Chris: He picked on the WORLD, Phoebe.

Piper Halliwell: [Phoebe appears as a blonde genie] You look ridiculous!
Phoebe: I feel ridiculous.
Piper Halliwell: Well, how am I supposed to get back to Greg now with this?
Phoebe: Is that all you care about? Would you look at me? I am trapped in pantaloons right now. Where is the mirror? Look. And why do I always get stuck with the wig?

Phoebe: I've been calling for you all week. Didn't you hear me?
Chris: For the first couple of days, yeah. Then I put you on "mute".

Phoebe: You're the one that split them up. And why did you split them up?
Chris: Leo had to become an Elder to make room for me as your Whitelighter. It was the only way I could protect Wyatt from turning evil.
Phoebe: You're unbelievable ! I mean, most kids who are the cause of their parents divorce actually feel guilty. And you're sitting here like it's part of your master plan !
Chris: I'm sensing some real issues there.

Jinny: [about the demon Bosk] You cannot handle him. Nobody can. He has a flying carpet and an army of forty thieves.
Phoebe: Thirty-eight. I vanquished two.
Paige: Let me guess. He wanted a crew and a nice ride?

Phoebe: I feel so bad.
Chris: As well you should. If we don't do something soon, I can end up half fireman instead of half Whitelighter.

[Large diamond earrings appear on Paige's earlobes.]
Phoebe: [to Jinny] Did you do that?
Jinny: No, but they are lovely. Who conjured them for you?
Paige: My boyfriend, Richard. He's been showering me with gifts all week.
Phoebe: I thought you were gonna talk to him about binding his powers?
Paige: I have... but every time I bring it up, I just get another present. Luxury problem, I know ! But still.

Phoebe: I never hit on you, did I?
Chris: What? No!
Phoebe: Oh, thank God.

"Charmed: The Witch Is Back (#1.9)" (1998)
Phoebe Halliwell: You've never asked a guy out before?
Piper Halliwell: Not on a real date, no.
Phoebe Halliwell: I don't understand. Am I the only person in this family who's inherited the take a chance gene?
Piper Halliwell: Probably, 'cause if I remember my biology correctly, it's attached to the "Can't Mind My Own Business" gene.
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh. Go.

Phoebe Halliwell: Melinda Warren, blood of our blood.
Prue Halliwell: Our great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother.
Phoebe Halliwell: We summon thee.
[Melinda Warren apppears]
Melinda Warren: Oh, Blessed Be.

Melinda Warren: No! Don't - don't rip the dress to make it fit me.
Phoebe Halliwell: No, I'm not ripping it. It's called a zipper. See?
Melinda Warren: Okay. A wise witch made this.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, and wise witches in this century keep a low profile. You slip this dress on, you'll blend right in.
Melinda Warren: It's so odd to be here again to breathe and feel. What sheep has wool so soft?
Phoebe Halliwell: A synthetic one.

Melinda Warren: Once Matthew had what he wanted, he told the town council I was a witch and they arrested me. Then they burned me at the stake.
Piper Halliwell: Why didn't you save yourself?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah. Why didn't you use your powers to escape?
Melinda Warren: I had a daughter. Her name was Prudence. She meant everything to me. If I'd used my powers, I would've proven Matthew's charge, and Prudence would've burned, too. So I thought I'll accept this and pray some kind soul will take pity on my daughter and raise her in a safe home. Only then can the Warren line continue. And it must've worked, because here you are.

Prue Halliwell: Grams must've added this one.
Melinda Warren: To increase patience.
Phoebe Halliwell: I bet she used that spell a lot raising us?
Prue Halliwell: We weren't all troublemakers, Phoebe.
Phoebe Halliwell: I was not a troublemaker. I was just...
Piper Halliwell: A pain.
Phoebe Halliwell: A free spirit.
Prue Halliwell: A handful.
Melinda Warren: A Warren. It's a family trait. So are the short tempers, the great cheekbones, the strong wills, and, of course, the powers. All blessings, all signs of where you came from. This book is your connection, and it began with me.

Melinda Warren: But I have to go.
Phoebe Halliwell: Why? Why can't you stay here and have the life that you should have had?
Melinda Warren: Because this isn't my time. It's your time. And Prue's and Piper's.
Piper Halliwell: We don't mind sharing.
Melinda Warren: You three give me great joy. I've seen The Charmed Ones. Good witches. Women of strength and grace.
Phoebe Halliwell: Tell me what you see.
Melinda Warren: I see the future. Many more generations of my beautiful daughters. I see my dreams fulfilled. Oh, thank you for that.

Piper: But aren't we, like, raising the dead? What if she's all...
Phoebe: I read The Book of Shadows very carefully. She will come back as a real live person, flesh and blood. She will have her powers too. Our powers.
[picks up a knife]
Piper: What's that for?
Phoebe: Well, the spell works by blood calling blood, so it shouldn't hurt... much.
[Phoebe cuts her finger with the knife]
Phoebe: I lied, I lied. Okay, come on guys. It'll be just like the summer by the lake. Remember when we made a oath blood to be friends forever, not just sisters?
Piper: I remember my finger got infected
Prue: [Prue takes the knife off of Phoebe and stabs her finger] Ow. Yeah, but the oath worked.
[Prue hands the knife to piper]
Piper: And I couldn't go in the water for three weeks. Don't hand me that knife.
Prue: How are you gonna cut yourself?
Piper: I'm not.
Phoebe: Piper...
Piper: I can't stand the sight of blood.
Prue: Evil beings have blown up in our attic...
Phoebe: Disintegrated to dust right before our very eyes...
Prue: And you're afraid of a little drop of blood?
Piper: Fine, just cut my finger.
[holds out her hand to Phoebe]
Piper: [Piper covers her eyes and Phoebe stabs the knife in her finger] Ow!

Phoebe: It'll be just like the summer by the lake. Remember when we made that blood oath to be friends forever, not just sisters?
Piper: I remember my finger got infected.

"Charmed: Déjà Vu All Over Again (#1.22)" (1999)
Piper Halliwell: [Rodriguez rings the doorbell repeatedly] That's a little too anxious. That's not a good sign.
Phoebe Halliwell: Which means if he doesn't wanna kill Prue, he wants to date her.

Phoebe Halliwell: Prue, I'm not mad! Ok, well, maybe just a little, but that really has nothing to do with this.

Phoebe Halliwell: [on the phone with Piper] And if you see a woman named Joanne, she's going to go on and on about her happily married life so tell her to stick it.

Phoebe Halliwell: [on phone] Don't tell me. I already know. You spilled marinara sauce on your dress, right? Am I right? Think, Piper, think. Doesn't all of this seem awfully familiar to you?
Prue Halliwell: Morning.
Phoebe Halliwell: Freeze. No, not you, Piper. Kit knocks over pepper. Meows.d that thought. Piper you need to get home as soon as you can. We've got major demon hunting to do. Oh, and if you run into someone named Joanne from high school, just tell her to go stick it. I will explain later. Just hurry.

Piper Halliwell: I've decided to quit my job.
Phoebe Halliwell: What?
Prue Halliwell: And actually, I owe it all to Joanne. She made me realize that somehow I'd forgotten what my dreams were, still are. I always wanted to be a chef and have my own restaurant, not manage one. It's a good job and the pay's okay, but it's not my dream job.
Phoebe Halliwell: I think that's great. I really do. And don't worry. If you need any help trolling the classifieds, I am an expert.

Prue Halliwell: I was just thinking about all that we've been through since we became witches.
Phoebe Halliwell: Give you a headache?
Prue Halliwell: No. Actually, it gave me a good feeling. I mean, look, it's a hassle. It can sometimes screw up our personal lives.
Piper Halliwell: Amen to that.
Prue Halliwell: And we do good things together. Helps offset the bad things.
Phoebe Halliwell: I'm going to really miss Andy.
Piper Halliwell: It's going to be very sad without him.
Prue Halliwell: Something tells me that he'll always be with us.

Phoebe: Prue, I'm not nuts. OK maybe a little, but that's irrelevant here.

Phoebe: Prue, I'm not nuts. OK maybe a little, but thats irrelevant here.

Stigmata (1999)
Frankie: How is your faith these days, Father?
Frankie: How is your faith these days?

Frankie: Hey, you know what's scarier than not believing in God? Believing in him. I mean, really believing in him. It's a fucking terrifying thought.

[Frankie is possessed by Father Alameida]
Frankie: Jesus said... the Kingdom of God is inside you, and all around you, not in mansions of wood and stone. Split a piece of wood... and I am there, lift a stone... and you will find me.
Father Andrew Kiernan: Brother Alameida, I call upon you to release this woman. Give her grace and let her not come into the ways of harm. For through Jesus Christ we have all been saved and let us not fear any ill. For Jesus is with us, and the Unity of the Holy Spirit will remain forever, and ever. God bless your soul, Brother Alameida. And go in peace.

[Frankie is possessed by Father Alameida]
Father Andrew Kiernan: Frankie? Frankie... who are you?
Frankie: The messenger is not important.

Dr. Reston: Do you have any stress at work?
Frankie: I cut hair.

Dr. Reston: And are there any problems with a significant other?
Frankie: Yes...
Dr. Reston: Which is?
Frankie: I'm not very significant.

Frankie: I feel like my heart is breaking.
Frankie: Why am I so sad?

Dr. Reston: What's happening in your life, Frankie? Do you have a lot of stress at work?
Frankie: I cut hair.
Dr. Reston: Any trouble with a significant other?
Frankie: Yes.
Dr. Reston: - And that is?
Frankie: I'm not very significant.

"Charmed: The Truth Is Out There... and It Hurts (#1.8)" (1998)
Piper Halliwell: Ask it what a day off feels like. That was my boss, Martin. I have to get back to the restaurant.
Prue Halliwell: You're kidding!
Piper Halliwell: There's a convention in town and business is just crazy.
Phoebe Halliwell: But you worked a double shift yesterday and the day before that. He's working you to death, Piper.
Prue Halliwell: I thought you were gonna talk to Martin about this weeks ago.
Piper Halliwell: I never got around to it.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, well, tell him to stuff it. Tell him you're taking the night off and that's that.
Piper Halliwell: I know. You're right. I will. Hello, Martin? No, I know what you want, but... Okay. No, it's not a problem. I'll be right there.
Prue Halliwell: Wow. You told him.
Phoebe Halliwell: Beware the wrath of Piper.

Phoebe Halliwell: So what are waiting for? Tell him the truth. It's the only thing standing between you guys.
Prue Halliwell: Tell him that I'm a witch? I can't do that. What if he can't handle it? It's not like I can put the genie back in the bottle.
Phoebe Halliwell: He's not gonna turn you in to the warlock police. At least you'd know how he feels once and for all. Otherwise, you'll never know if it could've worked out or not. If I were you, I would figure out a way to tell him.

Piper Halliwell: You cast a Truth Spell?
Prue Halliwell: Yes. Look, please, no more questions.
Piper Halliwell: Why?
Prue Halliwell: I wanted to know what Andy would think of me if he found out I was a witch.
Piper Halliwell: Oh.
Phoebe Halliwell: I can't believe it.
Prue Halliwell: Oh, look who's talking, little Miss Spell-of-the-Week.
Phoebe Halliwell: No, no. I mean, I can't believe you actually took my advice. The biggest pooper at the wicca party has finally used her power for personal gain. It's about time.
Piper Halliwell: Personal? It's affecting us. Prue, what have you done?
Prue Halliwell: The spell was only supposed to work on me. It said those in this house. I thought I was alone.
Piper Halliwell: Well, obviously, you weren't.
Piper Halliwell: Wait! We have to undo it right now, fast.
Prue Halliwell: Can't. Twenty-four-hour time limit, which means until eight o'clock tonight, everybody who comes into contact with us will have no choice but to speak the truth.
Piper Halliwell: What do you mean no choice?
Prue Halliwell: Exactly that. Ask me a question.
Phoebe Halliwell: I'm game. Prue, what do you think of me?
Prue Halliwell: While I admire your confidence and your fearlessness, your utter lack of responsibility frustrates me to no end. Oh God, that is so enough.
Piper Halliwell: Oh, my God. This could be very dangerous.

Phoebe Halliwell: I'm kinda digging it. Piper, what do you really think of your boss?
Piper Halliwell: I think he's a self-serving jerk who must have a very small penis. Oh, my God! I'm gonna be so fired!
Piper Halliwell: Oh, my god! I'm gonna be so fired!
Prue Halliwell: No, no, no. It's ok because once the spell ends, no one will remember what they've heard. You guys, I just wanted to see how Andy would react.
Phoebe Halliwell: What a way to come out of the broom closet!

Phoebe Halliwell: What do you know about the guy they found murdered in the movie theater parking lot the other night?
Inspector Andy Trudeau: Lead detective says he's not the only victim. Last night, they found a lab technician out in Oakland. Each of them had the same cauterized mark on their foreheads, and their eyes were drained of color. They were completely white. Wait?
Phoebe Halliwell: Cause of death?
Inspector Andy Trudeau: Unknown. Looks like they took a bullet to the head, only there's no exit wound and no bullet. Phoebe, this is highly ...

Phoebe Halliwell: Okay, there's a button that's not supposed to exist, a demon that the Book of Shadows says doesn't exist, and a baby no one knows exists. You got a better explanation?

Phoebe Halliwell: No. This is not the kind of information Tanya needs right now, especially from people she just met who are telling her some 3-eyed demon wants to suck the life out of her. Suck the life out of her. Wait a minute. Is it possible that it's not Tanya he wants? That it's her baby?

"Charmed: The Day the Magic Died (#5.15)" (2003)
Phoebe Halliwell: [Talking to Paige about the geese while Pipers on bed rest] If we can't protect her from geese, how will we protect her from demons?

Phoebe Halliwell: Cronyn huh? since when do sorcerers have cell phones?
Cronyn: You think that is bad? I have a taxi waiting outside.

Piper: Shh, I'm fine, I'm feeling fine.
Phoebe: You didn't look so fine when you bent over the toilet puking your guts out today.
Piper: Nausea, headaches, all a normal part of pregnancy. Along with gas, heartburn, constant need to pee.
Phoebe: Sounds fun.

Paige: [Orbs in with a bucket of bubbling mud] Greetings from the Dead Sea.
Phoebe: Oh, Pew! What'd you eat over there?
Paige: It's not me. it's the sulphur in the mud. It has healing properties. You know, people come from all over the world just to get this stuff.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, we want Piper to feel like she's in a spa, not some sewer.

Stanley: [as he dies] My name will haunt you to your grave.
Phoebe: What was his name again?
Paige: I don't remember.

[after discovering a unicorn in their kitchen]
Phoebe Halliwell: Is that a present for the baby?
Paige: Yeah, the best one ever!

Phoebe Halliwell: Ok, breathe. Keep breathing, keep breathing. Don't forget to breathe. Very good! Relax. Relax.
Piper Halliwell: Dad!
Victor Bennett: Yeah, honey?
Piper Halliwell: I'm sorry about your demon wife.
Victor Bennett: Oh, hush. Don't think about that.
Leo Wyatt: I'm right here, baby.
Phoebe Halliwell: You okay? You okay? Ok, you're doing great. You're doing great. Push, okay? Last push.
Piper Halliwell: I can't.
Phoebe Halliwell: You have to. A big one. Big one! Push!
Leo Wyatt: You can do it.
Piper Halliwell: I can't.
Phoebe Halliwell: You can. You can.
Paige: Yes, you can.
Phoebe Halliwell: You're gonna be okay. Push. Push! Push!
Paige: Oh, I think the magic is coming back.
Phoebe Halliwell: Here we go. Here we go! Oh, I see a shoulder. And another shoulder. And an arm, another arm. Oh, and something else. Something else.
[Cuts cord]
Piper Halliwell: What? What?
Phoebe Halliwell: Hi, baby. Hi. Okay. Okay. Look!
Paige: Oh. Is that what I think it is?
Leo Wyatt: You mean, I got a boy?
Phoebe Halliwell: Here you go, mama.
Piper Halliwell: Hi. Hi, little guy. What are you doing? Look what we did.
Leo Wyatt: I see.
Paige: It's a miracle.
Piper Halliwell: A little miracle. He's beautiful. Oh. You are safe, you are loved, and you are wise. How ya doing, what's up?

"Charmed: Thank You for Not Morphing (#1.3)" (1998)
Prue Halliwell: Um, hi. You must be Mr. Wyatt.
Phoebe Halliwell: The handyman?
Leo Wyatt: Call me Leo.
Phoebe Halliwell: Gladly.

Phoebe Halliwell: I just read from the book, and wham - I am Tabitha.

Phoebe Halliwell: Prue's party tips; meet, greet and bail.

Phoebe Halliwell: No, by myself before dinner and I had a premonition about dad when he hugged me. He was stealing the Book Of Shadows. Yeah, you were right about him, Prue. I didn't want the premonition to be true. I was hoping, praying that there was a perfectly good explanation for it. Hoping that, that he was really here to be with us. I just wanted him back in our lives. He's our dad.

Prue Halliwell: No, Andy, I'm fine really. Dad's gonna be here any minute, so can I take a rain check on dinner? Okay, thanks for the good advice.
Prue Halliwell: So he's dad now?
Prue Halliwell: Yes, Phoebe, and by the way my dress looks good on you.
Phoebe Halliwell: I don't have any nice clothes, Prue.
Prue Halliwell: Dad said it was casual.
Phoebe Halliwell: I don't care. I wanna look nice for him. Who knows how long it'll be before we see him again.
Piper Halliwell: You don't think he's gonna stay around?
Phoebe Halliwell: Well, let's just say I no longer have a romanticised image of him. And I'm glad about that actually. At least dad is real now.

Phoebe Halliwell: The neighbors are shapeshifters.

Prue Halliwell: Cop, witch - it's not a love connection.
Phoebe Halliwell: Boy, girl. Lighten up.

"Charmed: Charmed Again: Part 1 (#4.1)" (2001)
Paige Matthews: I'm so sorry for your loss.
Phoebe Halliwell: Thank you. How did you know Prue? From work?
Paige Matthews: No. Just from around, you know.
Phoebe Halliwell: Have we met before?
Paige Matthews: No. I don't... I don't think so. Anyway, my condolences.
Phoebe Halliwell: Thank you.
[Phoebe sees Paige's death as Paige runs off]

Phoebe Halliwell: She orbed! She orbed! Did you just see that?

Patty Halliwell: We didn't tell anybody because we were afraid that there would be reprisals, afraid that, you girls would be denied your powers. Your birthright. It happened after your father and I were divorced, when Sam and I were together.
Cole: Sam?
Leo: Her white lighter.
Cole: Apples don't fall far from the forbidden tree, I see.
Piper Halliwell: Shh! Go on.
Patty Halliwell: You were both toddlers. You just thought Mommy got a little fat. You never knew I was pregnant.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: I was the only one who knew.
Patty Halliwell: And Sam, obviously.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Right. Well, yes, of course.
Patty Halliwell: We wanted to keep the baby, of course. But mother...
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Well, I knew it would be disastrous. You know, before you and Leo, Piper, it wasn't just forbidden. It was unthinkable for witches to be with white lighters. I mean, let alone have children with them.
Patty Halliwell: So, that's why we had to, why we decided, to give the baby up. Sam and I took her to a local church as soon as she was born. And we asked the nun there to find a home for her, and she found one. A very, very good home.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Yes.
Leo: Explains why the Elders didn't know about her.
Phoebe Halliwell: All right, hold it. Wait just one minute. Are you telling me, that that girl, our innocent, is really... our sister?
Patty Halliwell: Your baby sister.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Their baby half-sister.
Patty Halliwell: But by my half, which makes her a sister witch. Well, actually, not yet anyway. Not until all three of you are here together by the Book. Just like before.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Charmed. Again.

Phoebe Halliwell: We call the spirits to help undo and send him off to... Timbuktu. Whoa. It worked.

Paige Matthews: The door was open. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here.
Phoebe Halliwell: No, no, no. We were just coming to look for you.
Paige Matthews: You were?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yep. Come on in. Welcome. I'm Phoebe. And this is...
Piper Halliwell: Piper. I know. I've been to your club. Pretty great.
Piper Halliwell: Thank you. And you are?
Paige Matthews: Paige. My name is Paige.
Phoebe Halliwell: Hmm. Another P. Imagine that.
Piper Halliwell: It's nice to meet you.
[Piper shakes Paige's hand. Once all three sisters are touching they are surrounded by a bright blue light]
Paige Matthews: Okay. What was that?
Leo: I think that means you're supposed to be here.

[after Phoebe magically sends Inspector Cortez to Timbuktu]
Piper Halliwell: You sent him to Timbuktu?
Phoebe Halliwell: Well, it was the only thing I could think of that rhymes with "undo".

"Charmed: Feats of Clay (#1.11)" (1999)
Phoebe Halliwell: Yep. Look, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but why are you here... with me now?
Clay: Why? Can't a guy visit?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, but you're not just a guy. You're Clay, and Clay comes with strings attached.
Clay: I never could hide anything from you.
Phoebe Halliwell: Actually you could. That was one of our problems. Remember?
Clay: I picked up this urn at a overseas market. Thought it might be worth something.
Phoebe Halliwell: So you want me to get Prue to help you. Because of the Auction House.
Clay: Guilty.
Phoebe Halliwell: Whew. For a minute there, I thought you were here to win me back.

Prue Halliwell: Phoebe, I cannot risk this Auction House's reputation on something like this without checking on it first.
Phoebe Halliwell: Come on, come on, I will, uh... what will I do? I will cook you dinner.
Prue Halliwell: Oh, don't threaten me. Fine. I'll see what I can do.

Phoebe Halliwell: We can't live together forever. What do we expect, to be sixty years old and still be sharing clothes and a cat?
Piper Halliwell: Well, now that you put it that way, no. I don't want to live with you anymore.

Prue Halliwell: Where's Phoebe?
Piper Halliwell: Upstairs. But you might want to...
Piper Halliwell: ... knock.
Prue Halliwell: Phoebe, we need to talk...
Phoebe Halliwell: [naked in bed] Yes, we do!
Prue Halliwell: Ohhh!

Phoebe Halliwell: I hope you liked the show.
Prue Halliwell: Phoebe, I'm so sorry. I had no idea.
Phoebe Halliwell: What, that it was my room that you barged into? I had more privacy when I lived in New York, a tiny island crawling with eight million people.
Prue Halliwell: And at least one thief.
Phoebe Halliwell: I'm sorry. Excuse me?

Phoebe Halliwell: He totally used me, Piper. He just used me to get to Prue.
Piper Halliwell: I'm sorry.
Phoebe Halliwell: Thanks for not saying, I told you so." Why didn't I see it coming? What am I? A sucker for punishment?
Piper Halliwell: No. You see the good in people, and that's never wrong. Besides, the wrong guys are usually the most interesting.

"Charmed: Just Harried (#3.15)" (2001)
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: We are gathered here today to unite two souls as one. Do you, Leo Wyatt, and Piper Halliwell, join us here of your own free will to acknowledge the eternal bond shared by both of you.
Leo Wyatt: I do.
Piper Halliwell: I do.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: You may face each other, join hands. Leo, you may recite your vows.
Leo Wyatt: Piper, through all the tears and struggles, I always knew in my heart that we'd make it here. I promise to love and respect you from this point forward as your husband, as my wife, my lover, my friend, and my soul mate. All I am is yours.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Piper.
Piper Halliwell: Leo, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was afraid that you were too good to be true, that maybe I didn't deserve someone so pure and beautiful and loving as you are. But here we are surrounded by the people that I love the most and I feel so proud, and so blessed to be your wife. Leo, I was born to love you and I always will.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Here before witnesses, Leo and Piper have sworn their vows towards each other. With this cord, I bind them to those vows.
Piper Halliwell, Leo Wyatt: Heart to thee, body to thee, always and forever, so mote it be.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: So mote it be.
Prue Halliwell, Phoebe Halliwell: So mote it be.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: [clock strikes twelve] Kiss her fast.

Phoebe Halliwell: No, I'm telling you because you are Prue. I mean, you are both two sides of my sister. Prue, you have to stop devoting your entire self to the Charmed Ones. It'll tear you apart. Literally.
Prue Halliwell: Is Piper very mad at me?
Phoebe Halliwell: She'll get over it. And you know why? Because we're okay now, Piper and me. We've both got passion and purpose in our lives and you gave us that.

Phoebe Halliwell: So I just studied this in psych 101. Freud. You're the ID. Prue's inner desires. Which means that she is the ego. The control factor.

Phoebe Halliwell: Piper and Leo's love have touched us all. We have to fix this.

Piper Halliwell: Alright, that's it! The wedding is off! Phoebe!
Phoebe Halliwell: Sorry! Sorry! Piper, Piper, wait, think about this. Piper, Piper, you can not just leave.
Piper Halliwell: Yes, I can. A demon I could have handled, but my big sister ruining my wedding, I can not handle that.
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay, just listen to me for one second. All we have to do is find a way.
Piper Halliwell: No, no, I don't wanna find a way to get married on my wedding day. It's too hard. There must be a reason.
Leo Wyatt: Piper!
Piper Halliwell: Leo, I'm sorry, but this is just the final straw. It's just not meant to be.

Phoebe Halliwell: Prue, you get your astral ass back here!

"Charmed: Out of Sight (#1.19)" (1999)
Phoebe Halliwell: Then what's wrong with being a couple?
Piper Halliwell: Well, I thought Leo and I were a couple and then we... coupled and he took off.

Phoebe Halliwell: Josh. He wants to have 'the talk' with Piper.
Prue Halliwell: What talk?
Phoebe Halliwell: Three dates, no sex. There could only be one talk he's talking about. The talk. Safe sex, prior partners, standard dating protocol.
Piper Halliwell: And sex equals relationship.
Prue Halliwell: And you're not sure that you want to be a couple.
Piper Halliwell: Well, it's not that I don't like him.

Phoebe Halliwell: It was the first time you channeled your power through your hands. Give yourself a break. Your power's growing.
Prue Halliwell: Yeah. I just hope no one saw me.
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay, look on the bright side. You won't have to squint your eyes anymore. You were starting to get those little lines.

Brent Miller: You believe my story about the monsters?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yes, I do.
Brent Miller: Why, when everyone else has always laughed at me?
Phoebe Halliwell: Well, maybe it's because I've seen my share of monsters, and I haven't told anybody about them because I didn't want them to laugh at me either.

Brent Miller: Phoebe? How did you know what I was wearing and where I was running? Are you, like, some kind of psychic or something?
Phoebe Halliwell: Like. Only different.
Brent Miller: Right. That's how you've seen all these other monsters that you've mentioned, isn't it? Phoebe, you're a good person. And that probably means you have a strong aura. Please be careful with these monsters.

Phoebe Halliwell: Hey, you ok?
Piper Halliwell: Yeah, I was just thinking, when I was in the storm drain, I was kind of out of it. I kept thinking about Leo. That's weird.
Phoebe Halliwell: Maybe you miss him.
Piper Halliwell: Maybe.

"Charmed: Carpe Demon (#7.14)" (2005)
Phoebe Halliwell: What is he doing with my phone bill?

Piper Halliwell: Sheridan's back?
Phoebe Halliwell: Did I forget to mention that?

Drake: You saved me?
Phoebe Halliwell: Of course. What would you expect from Maid Marian?
Paige Matthews: And your merry men.
Piper Halliwell: Women.

Phoebe Halliwell: Drake? Are you okay?
Drake: Drake? Who's Drake? I'm Robin Hood... of Nottingham.

Darryl Morris: We got bigger things to worry about. Sheridan's back.
Phoebe Halliwell: What? Oh, no. Any more good news?
Darryl Morris: Your friend Brody came to visit me last night and told me that he brought her out of the coma. Didn't you say he died?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, well, I never said it stuck.

Paige Matthews: Drake, Phoebe. Phoebe, Drake. Yeah. He's an ex-demon.
Phoebe Halliwell: What? Excuse me?
Drake: I thought you guys had lots of experience with demons who were human. You married one, didn't you?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yes, and divorced. How did you know that?
Drake: Gossip around the office cauldron.

"Charmed: Marry-Go-Round (#4.15)" (2002)
Phoebe Halliwell: It is?
[Phoebe turns invisible]
Phoebe Halliwell: My zits are gone?
Piper Halliwell: Yeah, I can, I can honestly say that your face is completely clear.

Phoebe Halliwell: Wait, you mean transfer the invisibility to you? No way, I won't let you.

Phoebe Halliwell: And then Prue crashed through the front door on a Harley.
Piper Halliwell: Yeah, only Prue could make my wedding day all about her. But the point is, I barely remember the ceremony, it's a total blur. And in the end all that matters is that you marry the guy that you love, and if you manage to do that your wedding was perfect.

Phoebe Halliwell: Ahh, Paige! What difference does it make? I am invisible. My wedding is supposed to start in less than one hour and everyone I've ever known will be there, and I'm never gonna be able to face them again. Ugh!

Phoebe Halliwell: That's it. The wedding is off! Tell everyone to get outta here. Go-go-go-go!

Cole Turner: And perfect
Phoebe Halliwell: For what?
Cole Turner: A wedding.
Piper Halliwell: I couldn't agree more.
Phoebe Halliwell: Really?
Paige Matthews: You've got the rings.
Leo Wyatt: And we're all here.
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay, I do. I mean, I will. Let's go.
Dark Priest: Not two but one, then life be gone. You may kiss the bride.
Phoebe Halliwell: We did it.
Cole Turner: Yes, we did.
The Seer: It is done.

"Charmed: Secrets and Guys (#1.14)" (1999)
Phoebe Halliwell: You don't need my help, Leo. You need a miracle.

Piper Halliwell: Maybe I should talk to Leo.
Phoebe Halliwell: Sure. Hold on a second.
[sees Leo floating while working on chandelier]
Leo Wyatt: Phoebe!
Phoebe Halliwell: Let me call you back
Leo Wyatt: Phoebe wait. I can explain.
Phoebe Halliwell: You are a warlock, aren't you?
Leo Wyatt: No. Wait. Wait. Wait. Think about it. If I was a warlock and I wanted to hurt you, don't you think I would have done it the last time I was here?
Phoebe Halliwell: OK. Good point, but still most normal handymen use ladders to fix chandeliers. Are you a witch?
Leo Wyatt: no.
Phoebe Halliwell: Then what are you?
Leo Wyatt: Um...

Phoebe Halliwell: I mean up until today, I thought you were a handyman and now I find out that you're a...
Leo Wyatt: White lighter.
Phoebe Halliwell: A white lighter. What exactly is a white lighter?
Leo Wyatt: Well, we're really just messengers. Guides. Think of us as guardian angels for good witches. Your tea is cold.
Phoebe Halliwell: Ow. Well, you are handy. So all this time you knew who we really were?
Leo Wyatt: Yeah. I was sent to watch over you and your sisters when you first got your powers. You know help out wherever I could.
Phoebe Halliwell: Sent by who?
Leo Wyatt: Whom. They're a group of elder white lighters. They're known as the founders. You were never supposed to find out. I screwed up and got caught.

Leo Wyatt: In the meantime, you must help me keep my secret or I could get into trouble. Piper and Prue can never know what I really am.
Phoebe Halliwell: Me? Keep a secret? Hello? Wrong Halliwell. Wait, you have to tell Piper because if I know her, she's gonna think that... ,
Leo Wyatt: I know. I know. And that's where I need your help. See?White lighters and witches aren't allowed to fall in love. It's like humans and angels aren't. But I did. I fell in love with Piper.
Phoebe Halliwell: And I know how much she cares about you.
Leo Wyatt: It isn't fair to keep her in the dark, but I have to keep this secret. So somehow I have to tell Piper that I can never see her again and I can't tell her why.
Phoebe Halliwell: You don't need my help Leo. You need a miracle.

Phoebe Halliwell: Okay. Okay. You don't have to beat it out of me. Leo is a Whitelighter. They're sort of guardian angels for witches. And they're not supposed to get involved with witches. But Leo couldn't help it. He fell in love with you and that broke all the rules and got him in all sorts of trouble. And even though he'll love you forever you will probably never see him again.
Piper Halliwell: What? Phoebe, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Oh god. Don't be so silly.
Phoebe Halliwell: That's me. Silly.

Prue Halliwell: And I realize that I do want kids. I think that I'd make a great mom.
Phoebe Halliwell: So did you save Max or did Max save you?

"Charmed: Once Upon a Time (#3.3)" (2000)
Cole Turner: It's a long drive home. Do you think I could use your restroom?
Phoebe Halliwell: Number one or number two.
Prue Halliwell: He has to go tootie!
Cole Turner: Excuse me?
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay, you can come in but you have to do it very fast, whatever it is.

Phoebe Halliwell: Where are the keys?
Prue Halliwell: Keys?
Phoebe Halliwell: You know, shiney silver things that go jingle jingle.

[after explaining what happened to the fairy]
Kate: But the trolls are going to kill her if her parents don't handover the kingdom.
Phoebe Halliwell: Sounds like a miniature coup d'état.

Phoebe Halliwell: Oh, you know what? You are being a big, big, big, extra, extra, extra, double big jerk right now. Because now I have the key, so Thistle is safe and we have to be back with Kate at midnight so when the trolls attack...
Piper Halliwell: No. You guys are going home and you're not driving either 'cause someone will think you're drunk or something. So go outside and wait there and I will call a cab.

Piper Halliwell: Come on, Phoebe, trolls and fairies? You don't believe that stuff.
Phoebe Halliwell: Sure, why not?
Piper Halliwell: [to Prue] Well, maybe it's time we tell her about Santa.

Piper: Hi, Phoebe. Need a diaper change?
Phoebe: Haha, very funny. Look, we need you to come home right away by midnight or else...
Piper: The tooth fairy's gonna come and harass us all for not flossing?

"Charmed: The Fourth Sister (#1.7)" (1998)
Phoebe Halliwell: [while checking out Leo] My Santa how you've changed.
Phoebe Halliwell: [watching Leo leave] Oh. Those must be quite possibly the finest glutes in the city.
Piper Halliwell: In the entire state.
Phoebe Halliwell: In all the land.
Piper Halliwell: I saw him first.
Phoebe Halliwell: Uh-uh.
Piper Halliwell: Uh-uh.
Phoebe Halliwell: Uh-uh.
Piper Halliwell: Uh-uh.
Phoebe Halliwell: Huh?
Piper Halliwell: Huh.
Phoebe Halliwell: Awh. Oh.

Phoebe Halliwell: Okay. Look Prue, I think we need to put some major closer on this or we're gonna be in rocking chairs slurping oatmeal out of rubber spoons and I'm still gonna hear about Roger. Piper, am I a boyfriend thief?
Piper Halliwell: Totally.
Phoebe Halliwell: Besides Roger, whom again Prue, I never touched.
Piper Halliwell: My boyfriend. Billy Wilson.
Phoebe Halliwell: Billy W... Eight grade Billy Wilson?
Piper Halliwell: You kissed him at homecoming.
Phoebe Halliwell: No, I did not kiss him at homecoming. I was helping him find a contact lens.
Piper Halliwell: Oh please. You were all over him with your breasts all... whatever...
Phoebe Halliwell: I didn't even have breasts back then.
Piper Halliwell: Phoebe, you've always had breasts.

Phoebe Halliwell: Prue, she's just a kid. Besides, if she is a witch, she probably feels just as alone as we do. Maybe she just needs some friends.
Prue Halliwell: Or maybe she's out to destroy us. It wouldn't be the first time.

Prue Halliwell: Kali. Kali. Kali.
Piper Halliwell: There, there. An evil sorceress cursed into her own dimension. She appears in reflections and has the power to possess...
Prue Halliwell: ...innocents and use them as pawns to steal a witch's power.
Piper Halliwell: Wait. I don't understand. So she's using Aviva to try to turn us into bad witches?
Phoebe Halliwell: Does it say anything about how to get rid of her?
Prue Halliwell: Yeah. To get ride of her; shatter her reflection. However the hell we do that. Here.

Kali: Hello Phoebe. How's the arm?
Phoebe Halliwell: You're not Aviva?
Kali: You're not kidding.
Aviva: Phoebe! Help me!
Kali: Never mind. My power's greater then yours Prue. It's only a matter of time.
Phoebe Halliwell: Time? Piper, that's it! Freeze her!
Piper Halliwell: Aviva doesn't freeze.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, but Kali will.
Kali: No!
[Aviva falls to floor while Kali freezes]
Piper Halliwell: Prue! The mirror! Get her to the mirror!
Kali: No!
[Kali vanishes after Phoebe breaks the mirror]

Piper Halliwell: Uh, guys, we have about twenty seconds until they unfreeze.
Phoebe Halliwell: How did you find out about us?
Aviva: I'm gonna need more than twenty seconds for that.

"Charmed: The Power of Two (#1.20)" (1999)
Prue Halliwell: Oh, I hate cemeteries at night.
Phoebe Halliwell: I hate cemeteries at day.
[hears a noise]
Phoebe Halliwell: What was that?
Prue Halliwell: Ah, probably a zombie or vampire.
Phoebe Halliwell: Great. Where's Buffy when you need her?
Prue Halliwell: Heh.

Phoebe Halliwell: I'm not even married, and already I'm a housewife.

Piper Halliwell: Ok, but wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa! I just realized the two of you haven't really ever been alone together.
Phoebe Halliwell: Piper, we're big girls now. I don't think we need you as a buffer anymore.
Piper Halliwell: All right. Well, what about demon stuff? What if something happens and you need the Power of Three?
Prue Halliwell: Well, then the Power of Two will just have to do.
Phoebe Halliwell: Good one.

Phoebe Halliwell: What exactly is that?
Prue Halliwell: One killer cocktail literally. A little oleander, some jimsonweed, bloodroot, among other things. Stops the heart immediately.
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay, you're scaring me. Where did you learn to do that?
Prue Halliwell: Book of Shadows.
Phoebe Halliwell: Where under Dr. Kevorkian?

Phoebe Halliwell: I'm the one that's upset with myself for not working for a living.
Prue Halliwell: You do work.
Phoebe Halliwell: I know, Prue. I work around the house, but I want a job. I want a real job.
Prue Halliwell: And you will find one when you're ready.
Phoebe Halliwell: I can't remember the last time we talked like this.
Claire Pryce: [Answering machine] Prue, it's Claire. You're late. You're fired.

Inspector Andy Trudeau: Whew! I've always believed there was another world, behind or beyond this one. I even sort of believe in demons. But I have never in my wildest dreams I could never have imagined that this existed.
Prue Halliwell: Yeah, neither did we. But we've come to believe that there's a reason for why that world was opened up to us. Which means there's probably a very good reason why it was opened up to you, too.
Phoebe Halliwell: Welcome, to our little shop of horrors.

"Charmed: Forever Charmed (#8.22)" (2006)
Phoebe Halliwell: So much has happened over the last 8 years. So much has been gained and lost. Still, in some ways I feel like my life is really just beginning... and it was. For though I had loved before, I'd never really known love until I met Coop. A man who I shared the special little girl I had long ago forseen, but feared I might never have. Along with two other special little girls I had not forseen. I was suddenly so blessed to have a new family of my own, and old friends to share it with. And though I kept working and giving advice to those who asked, I was more interested in helping them find love. Since finally, having been loved.
Paige Matthews: Phoebe, had become somewhat of an expert on the subject. As for me, life without demons opened up similar avenues. Henry of course continued to look after his parolees, even if they didn't want to be looked after. While still making time to help me with little Henry and the twins. Which allowed me time to finally embrace my inner whitelighter. And to help the next generation of witches come into their own.
Piper Halliwell: So that Paige could pass on all the she learned. Not just to her own children, or to mine, or to Phoebe's, but to other future witches and white lighters as well. Which filled the time between when we were doing the fighting and when our kids were old enough to take over. Allowing me time to get back to my roots and cook something other then potions for once. And open the restaurant I'd always dreamed of owning. As for Leo, after we reclaimed magic school he went back to teaching. Which he continued to do, until it was time to retire. Older Piper
[finishes reading the Book of Shadows to her granddaughter]
Elderly Piper: And although we certainly had our struggles and heart aches over the years we're a family of survivors and we will always be. Which is why we've truly been Charmed.
Granddaughter: Again, Grandmama, again.
Elderly Piper: Oh, dear. No, I can't. I need to rest. But you can look at it for a little while if you'd like. After all, it'll be yours one day.
[as older Piper and Leo walk up the stairs, the camera zooms in pictures spanning four generations of the Halliwell family, including a picture of Victor and Patty]
Elderly Piper: .

[Coop appears in the middle of the room and Wyatt recognizes him]
Wyatt Halliwell: Uncle Coop.
[Chris hits Wyatt]
Phoebe Halliwell: Uncle Coop? What?
[Everyone looks around confused]
Piper Halliwell: All right, everybody out. Go.

Chris Halliwell: The Elders sent Coop down to you, Phoebe. Not just to help you find love, but to help you find him.
Wyatt Halliwell: They hoped you'd fall in love with a cupid. It was their only way to make up for everything you've sacrificed.
Chris Halliwell: And they weren't gonna put you through what Mom and Dad went through, so...
Wyatt Halliwell: It wasn't and will not be a forbidden love.
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay. I don't know how that information helps us right now.
Wyatt Halliwell: Well, in the future, when you're together, you guys are like one.
Chris Halliwell: All you have to do is think about him and he's there.

Paige Matthews: [Paige, Piper, Phoebe, and Grams orb in] Right, now all we have to do is find Billie and Christy.
Billie Jenkins: [Billie walks in] You don't have to look far.
Billie Jenkins: Can we talk?
[another pause]
Billie Jenkins: Look, I am so sorry for what I've done to you guys, after everything you've done for me. I just wanted my sister back so badly, I couldn't even see that she was manipulating me.
Piper Halliwell: Well, that's very convenient, but how are we suppossed to know this isn't a trap?
[Billie shakes her head]
Paige Matthews: Guess we have to let her talk.
Phoebe Halliwell: Where's Christy?
Billie Jenkins: I don't know. Probably at Magic School trying to figure out a way to kill you.
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: But you're not.
Billie Jenkins: No. No. That was before. They twisted everything to make us think we were doing the right thing.
Piper Halliwell: Who?
Billie Jenkins: The Triad. They used us. They used Christy. Thay have spent the last fifteen years turning her into a killer. That's all they've care about. That's all they've wanted.

Piper Halliwell: Anyway the point is: if I'm going to get my husband back, we have a battle to finish.
Phoebe Halliwell: And we're going to have to get mom back safely, otherwise Paige and I won't be born.
Patty Halliwell: Good point.
Paige Matthews: Well fantastic. Are there any other problems we should be worrying about?
Phoebe Halliwell: [Wyatt and Chris appear] Wyatt?
Piper Halliwell: Chris? What are you two doing here?
Chris Halliwell: Somebody just screwed up our future!

"Charmed: Unaired Pilot (#1.0)" (????)
Inspector Andy Trudeau: [seeing Phoebe holding Kit] Is that your cat?
Phoebe Halliwell: It is now.
Inspector Andy Trudeau: Seems familiar.
[Kit is later revealed to be the Charmed Ones' familiar]

Prue Halliwell: Do you think Andy knows about?
Piper Halliwell: No!
Prue Halliwell: I think he knows about us.
Phoebe Halliwell: Who would ever believe him anyway?
Piper Halliwell: That's true. So what are we going to do now?
Prue Halliwell: Same thing that we've always done. Borrow each other's clothes, hog the phone. But no matter what, we'll always be sisters. Right?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah. Sister witches.

Prue Halliwell: The Chosen Ones, The Charmed Ones. Phoebe, this is insane.
Phoebe Halliwell: Are you telling me that nothing strange happened to you today? You didn't freeze time or move anything?
Prue Halliwell: Roger took an exhibit away from me. Look, Phoebe, you may think that you can see the future, which is pretty ironic...
Phoebe Halliwell: Since you don't think I have one? That my vision of life is cloudy, compared to your perfect hell? Even if you don't want to believe me, just once can't you trust me?
Prue Halliwell: I do not have special powers.
[cream pitcher moves]
Phoebe Halliwell: Really?
Phoebe Halliwell: Looks pretty special to me.
Prue Halliwell: Oh, my God. It just... So, um... I can move things with my mind?
Phoebe Halliwell: With how much you hold inside, you should be a lethal weapon by now.
Prue Halliwell: I don't believe it, but it's true.
Phoebe Halliwell: This must mean that Piper can freeze time. Are you okay?
Prue Halliwell: No, I'm not okay! You've turned me into a witch!
Phoebe Halliwell: You were born one. We all were. And I think we better start learning to deal with that.

Piper Halliwell: Look, I know what happened last night was weird and unexplainable, but we're not witches, and we do not have special powers. Besides Grams wasn't a witch, and as far as we know, neither was mom. So take that, Nancy Drew.
Phoebe Halliwell: We're the protectors of the innocent. We're known as "The Charmed Ones".
Piper Halliwell: Hmmmm.
Phoebe Halliwell: And I beg to differ about Grams.

Piper Halliwell: You're up early.
Phoebe Halliwell: I never went to sleep.
Piper Halliwell: Don't tell me you put on a black conical hat and spent the night flying around the neighborhood on a broomstick.
Phoebe Halliwell: The only broom I've ever had was kept in a closet beside a mop.
Piper Halliwell: So what were you doing?
Phoebe Halliwell: Reading. Is Prue around?
Piper Halliwell: She went to work early. Reading aloud?
Phoebe Halliwell: No, but... according to the Book of Shadows, one of our ancestors was a witch named Melinda Warren.
Piper Halliwell: And we have a cousin who's a drunk, an aunt who's manic, and a father who's invisible.

"Charmed: The Wedding from Hell (#1.6)" (1998)
Prue: We did that
Phoebe: And they'll live happily ever after
Piper: I wonder if we will
Prue: Of course we will, why shouldn't we?
Piper: That's easy for you to say. You'll never greet your husband at the door with "Honey, I think I froze the kids!"
Prue: No I've just accidently moved them to another zip code
Phoebe: But I will "see" them, find them, and bring them back safely. If I can ever learn to control my powers
Piper: If any of us can

Phoebe: But I shouldn't be surprised that you would think that. After all, I am the irresponsible sister, the black sheep who always screws up, the dark cloud over the Halliwell household.

Phoebe: Excuse me. I think I still have two more minutes. FYI, you have another sister who has had sex. Remember Jeremy? The guy who blew up in the attic? The warlock boyfriend? Think about it, Prue. Because it wasn't me in that vision having the demon child. It was Piper. So, if you won't believe me, you can believe my power.

Phoebe: Okay, I can't hold this in any longer. Your name isn't Piper and that's the good news. You're really Hecate, Queen of the underworld. You're pregnant with the demon child, which means, I'm afraid I have to kill you.

Prue Halliwell: She's a demon. She comes to earth every two hundred years. She has to find an innocent, put him under her spell, and marry him in a sanctified wedding.
Phoebe: That doesn't sound any different than most of the single women in this city.
Prue Halliwell: She needs Elliot to impregnate her. That way her child would look normal on the outside but internally and mentally, her child would be pure demon.

"Charmed: Sense and Sense Ability (#5.20)" (2003)
Piper: Read my lips! Is there anything in here that will get our senses back?
Phoebe: Piper, I can't hear you!
Piper: Uh! What do we do?
Paige: [Holding a sign that says:] Kill Monkey
Phoebe: Paige is proposing violence against the monkey.
Piper: Well, I'm inclined to agree, but I really think the monkey is the least of our worries.
Phoebe: Yeah, I didn't hear what you just said, but if you're wondering who's behind this, I was about to look in the book.
Piper: [Thumbs up]

Phoebe: You killed Aunt Pearl's couch!
Piper: But did I get the Kazi?

Phoebe: Yeah, ok. You're a monkey. Ohh, you're an angry monkey. Oh, you're pissed. You're PMS monkey?

Piper: Where are you? Ow! Who put that there?
Phoebe: Oh, my god! Piper, you're blind!
Piper: Yeah, Phoebe, I just said that. Now can we talk about how a monkey could do that?
Phoebe: What did she say?
Piper: What did who say? The monkey? The monkey didn't say anything. He covered my eyes and stole my eyesight.
Paige: [Paige writes] How?
Phoebe: I think the monkey stole your eyesight when he covered your eyes.
Piper: Phoebe, are you listening to me? That's just what I said. Are you acting like you can't even hear me?
Phoebe: Oh, Piper, it's no use. I can't even hear you. The monkey stole my hearing.
Piper: Oh, he got you, too. Which means somebody sent that flea-infested primate after us. We've got to find Paige.
Phoebe: [Paige claps] Why are you clapping? This is not funny.
Phoebe: What's the matter, Paige?
Piper: Paige? Where's Paige?
Leo Wyatt: What's going on?
[Paige coves her mouth. Phoebe covers her ears. Piper covers her eyes]
Leo Wyatt: I see.
Piper: Well, I don't! Where is Paige?
Leo Wyatt: Uh, she just can't talk.
Phoebe: Excuse me! This is either someone's sick, sick joke or someone's working on a massive evil plan!

Paige: [points paper pad facing Kazi demon, which reads] "Where's our Whitelighter?"
Phoebe: [glances at Kazi Demon, then at Paige] Hey, do you ever think that maybe your Kazi buddy here can't read?
Kazi Demon: I tried to tell her that.
Phoebe: He did?
Paige: [writes on paper pad] "Demons Lie!"
Phoebe: Yeah, but not about literacy. Kazi warriors are base-level demons.

"Charmed: Centennial Charmed (#5.12)" (2003)
Phoebe Halliwell: That's very sweet, but I don't need Cole to be vanquished to find peace. I'm ok. Really. I am free of him emotionally.

Paige Matthews: She's still alive. Grab her hand.
Phoebe Halliwell: What?
Cole Turner: I don't know how you got here, Paige. But if it's any consolation, I know exactly where I'm gonna bury you... right next to yourself.
Paige Matthews: Grab her hand.
[Surrounded by blue light, they release the Power of Three and Cole's energy ball bounces off of them]
Phoebe Halliwell: The Power of Three.
Paige Matthews: That's us. Potion! I do hate long good-byes.
Phoebe Halliwell: No!
Paige Matthews: Phoebe, are you crazy? Throw it before he shimmers out!
Cole Turner: She's not gonna throw it. Are you?
Paige Matthews: Throw the potion.
Cole Turner: We've been through so much together... haven't we? Our love's so strong, nothing can destroy it, not even this. We're meant to be together.
Phoebe Halliwell: I don't think so.
[Vanquishes Cole]

Paige Matthews: You don't recognize me. That's ok. Piper didn't either.
Phoebe Halliwell: Piper? You know Piper? How is she?
Paige Matthews: She's different. Look, I don't have a lot of time, so I'm just gonna drop this on you. I am your long-lost sister Paige. I know! It sounds crazy, but it's true. We're all sisters in the real world.
Phoebe Halliwell: Guards!
Paige Matthews: Look, I don't know how he did it, but Cole somehow switched realities in his twisted attempt to get you back. I somehow slipped through the cracks and landed here. I don't know how, either, but I need your help in order to turn things back to the way they're supposed to be.

Cole Turner: This is all messed up. How'd it get messed up? You have no idea what I've given up for you.
Phoebe Halliwell: What about what I've given up, Cole? I've given up my family, my heritage, my life!
Cole Turner: Oh, yeah? From where I'm standing, it looks like you have a pretty damn good life to me!
Phoebe Halliwell: Look the only one getting anything out of this is you. And I have no idea what that is. The only reason I'm still here is to make sure that what happened to Prue does not happen to Piper and you know it.

Leo Wyatt: Well, your reality sounds a lot better than this one. Not just for Phoebe. So, how can I help you get it back?
Paige Matthews: I need my sisters.
Piper Halliwell: Well, maybe we can start with two and go from there.
Paige Matthews: What are you doing here?
Phoebe Halliwell: Burying the Lazarus demon. I figured if you were right about that, you were probably right about everything else as well.

"Charmed: Imaginary Fiends (#7.20)" (2005)
Phoebe Halliwell: Maybe it was an imaginary friend.
Piper Halliwell: No. Imaginary friends are imaginary, hence, the name. Plus, you said he's too young to have an imaginary friend, remember? He's two.

Wyatt Halliwell: Aunt Phoebe, it's me ! Wyatt !
[he hugs her]
Phoebe Halliwell: Wh-what ? Oh !
Wyatt Halliwell: This is so amazing !
Phoebe Halliwell: What, did a spell backfire ?
Paige Matthews: ...How did you guess ?

Wyatt Halliwell: [after greeting Leo, who's holding baby Chris] Hey, is this Chris? Oh, my gosh! He's so small. Hey, little brother.
[to Piper]
Wyatt Halliwell: Is this before of after he swallowed the marble?
Piper Halliwell: Marble ? What marble ?
Phoebe Halliwell: Easy on the future information !
Wyatt Halliwell: Of course, you're right.
Piper Halliwell: Not, but really : what marble ?

Paige Matthews: [about vanquishing Vicus] And of course, we've got the added problem of not even being able to see the demon. Only Wyatt can see Vicus.
Phoebe Halliwell: We're just gonna have to bring a lot of vials.
Paige Matthews: And what, just throw them everywhere and hope we hit something?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah. You have a better idea?
Paige Matthews: Normally, yes.

Leo Wyatt: Look, I may not have any powers, but I'm not powerless. I'm his father. He's not gonna hurt me.
Phoebe Halliwell: No? Ever read Hamlet?

"Charmed: Charmed Noir (#7.8)" (2004)
[Miss Donovan is crying about the gnome murder]
Phoebe Halliwell: Aw, Miss Donovan, ahy are you crying?
Paige Matthews: One of our teachers. He...
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh. Did he break your heart? Well you call the right person. I can handle this.
Paige Matthews: No...
Phoebe Halliwell: Shhh. Cupid works alone.
[to Miss Donovan]
Phoebe Halliwell: Now did he hurt you? I know, I know, it hurts. But you can't give up on love. It could be the biggest mistake you ever make. Now I could fix you up with one of my readers because I'm doing this series in my paper where I play Matchmaker. I actually have one in mind for you.
Paige Matthews: Wait. He didn't break her heart. He was murdered.
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh. Why didn't you tell me that?
Paige Matthews: I tried to but Cupid shushed me.

Phoebe Halliwell: I am trying my hand at being a novelist. See if I can write in a little twist to help Paige out. Then suddenly... they got a flat tire.

Phoebe Halliwell: [about Leo] He's just trying to reconnect with you, you know that, right?
Piper Halliwell: No, I know, I do, and I would like to do that as well, just, I don't know, I can't help but think-...
Phoebe Halliwell: Your guard's up.
Piper Halliwell: Yeah, and-...
Phoebe Halliwell: You wanna lower it, you just can't.
Piper Halliwell: But still, I-...
Phoebe Halliwell: Feel vulnerable and don't want to get hurt again.
Piper Halliwell: Uh, could I possibly have a chance to express my feelings?

Phoebe Halliwell: [Reading "Crossed Double-Crossed"] Listen. "Riding in Eddie's car, Lana and the Fed...
Piper Halliwell: Lana and the Fed?
Phoebe Halliwell: Hey, at least he's not calling him Kyle,

Leo Wyatt: The pens are fine. The book's just not letting you write them out.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, but why not?
Piper Halliwell: Well, maybe it's against the rules. I don't know, the book is writing itself, maybe they have to save themselves.
Phoebe Halliwell: Then why was I able to write in the flat tire?
Piper Halliwell: It's just another plot twist which we could add but we can't bail them out. Heroes have to be heroes.
Piper Halliwell: I read a lot.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, I know you do. Maybe you should get out a little more.
Piper Halliwell: Easy, cupid.

"Charmed: Heartbreak City (#2.10)" (2000)
Piper Halliwell: But you're still going to have to back up the Cupid claim.
Cupid: OK, fine. Dan, Jack, Clay, Andy. My senceriest kondolenses. Eric in London, Alan in college. Not Jremy the warlock, Joe in college, Barry in high school, Tim in eight grade. Ken, Kyle, Steve, Mike, Ken again, Brian, Joel, Mark, Peter, Paul.
Piper Halliwell: Whoo!
Cupid: Tony.
Phoebe Halliwell: OK, you knew I didn't love all those guys, right?
Cupid: Well, they wanted to love you but eventually closed heart and sent them away.

Phoebe Halliwell: I slept through it.
Jack Sheridan: You slept through Dirty Dozen?
Phoebe Halliwell: No, Love Story. The last thing I remember is the hockey game.
Piper Halliwell: That was the very beginning.
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay, let me guess: boy meets girl, Grim Reaper swipes girl, and boy's left with his hockey skates?
Jack Sheridan: That's the review.
Dan Gordon: Anybody want a coffee?

Prue Halliwell: So we're actually supposed to believe that you're Cupid?
Cupid: You believe in warlocks and demons, but you can't believe in me?
Piper Halliwell: Where's the chubby baby?
Phoebe Halliwell: Guys.
Prue Halliwell: And the bow and arrow?
Cupid: Where's the warty chins, hooked noses and pointy hats?

Kevin: Hey, I just wanted to say I'm really sorry that I cancelled on you the other day.
Phoebe Halliwell: Love means never having to say you're sorry.
Kevin: What?
Phoebe Halliwell: It's nothing. We saw "Love Story" here the other night and... never mind.
Kevin: I love that movie.
Phoebe Halliwell: Really?
Kevin: Yeah.

"Charmed: Which Prue Is It, Anyway? (#1.16)" (1999)
Piper: This is ridiculous. This is like the parent trap, with a B Cup!
Phoebe: I think I just found a way to take some of the Disney out of our lives.

Inspector Andy Trudeau: I just told you I saw your sister dead and you're relieved?
Phoebe Halliwell: Well Andy, it's no secret that we fought at times.

Phoebe Halliwell: I think I might have just found a way to take some of the Disney out of our life.

Phoebe Halliwell: It could be the upstairs-bathroom-hogging Prue or the downstairs-bathroom-hogging Prue or the sitting-in-the-kitchen-drinking-all-the-coffee Prue.

"Charmed: Primrose Empath (#3.6)" (2000)
Phoebe: So, how bout those 9ers?
Cole: The what?
Phoebe: The 9ers, the 49ers, the football team.
Phoebe: You don't follow football?
Phoebe: He isn't human.
Cole: [Cole chokes on the water he's drinking]
Phoebe: You okay?
Cole: Check!

Phoebe: Uh, you know what, uh, is there something wrong?
Cole: No.
Phoebe: It's just you haven't said anything since we left the restaurant.
Cole: A lot on my mind, I guess.
Phoebe: Work?
Cole: Yea, sort of.
Cole: I don't know how to say this...
Phoebe: Uh-oh. Don't ever start a sentence like that with a girl...
Phoebe: You don't want to see me anymore? Right? Never accept a lunch date.
Cole: It's got nothing to do with you. I mean, how I feel about you.
Phoebe: I don't understand.
Cole: It's complicated.
Phoebe: I think that I deserve to know.
Cole: I promise you'll understand soon, maybe more than you'd want to.

Piper: You were at Cole's all night?
Phoebe: Uh huh.
Piper: Did you?
Phoebe: Uh huh.
Piper: Was he?
Phoebe: Uh huh.

Phoebe: [sighing] I have a date with Cole.
Prue: You say that like it's a bad thing.
Phoebe: It's a lunch date.
Prue: So?
Phoebe: So... it's not a good sign. Lunch is a cheap imitation of dinner. That's why it has its own special menu.

"Charmed: Once in a Blue Moon (#7.6)" (2004)
Paige: Do you think we should put some snacks in the cage?
Phoebe: Like what, a wildebeest?
Piper: Please don't say beast.
Paige: No, I'm just saying we don't know how long we're gonna be in here. What if I get hungry?
Piper: Well, then we'll have Leo throw us Whitelighter. Don't worry about it.

Piper: I've been wanting to tell you guys something for a while. Um, I just didn't know how to say it.
Phoebe: Oh, my god, are you pregnant again?

Leo Wyatt: [about their new whitelighter] He's gonna be sent here tomorrow.
Piper: Well, I hope I don't blow him up.
Leo Wyatt: Piper, you can't blow up a whitelighter.
Phoebe: Why not? She blows you up all the time.

Marcus: Wait, you're not ready yet? You're still working on the vanquishing potion?
Paige: I'm refining it.
Marcus: But you called me down here an hour ago!
Paige: Because we don't know when they're gonna attack.
Marcus: You mean maul me.
Phoebe: Alright, you know what? For a Whitelighter you are really wimpy.
Paige: [Whispers] That's why they sent him.
Marcus: I heard that.

"Charmed: Power Outage (#3.7)" (2000)
Phoebe Halliwell: What's the matter Prue, jealous, all work and not play make you even more boring!

Phoebe: Um, about the other night. Are you sorry that we uh...
Cole: Not at all. Are you?
Phoebe: Depends on what happens next.
Cole: Too bad you can't predict the future.
Phoebe: Who says I can't?

Phoebe Halliwell: Hey, guys, what's going on?
Prue Halliwell, Piper Halliwell: Shut up!
Prue Halliwell: You know what? I am so sorry that I didn't check with you about your stupid little club, I was too busy being the only witch concerned about the triad.
Phoebe Halliwell: Sisters, what has gotten into you two?
Prue Halliwell: By the way, you owe me for a car tow and a tank of gas, you little leech!
Phoebe Halliwell: I'm sorry. Is it gang up on Phoebe day and nobody told me?
Piper Halliwell: News flash! The world does not revolve around Phoebe.
Prue Halliwell: Yes! So while you get to spend the night screwing the DA, we are stuck picking up your crap.
Phoebe Halliwell: [Phoebe is infected with rage] What's the matter, Prue? Jealous? All work and no play making you even more boring?
Prue Halliwell: Oh, yeah! There's a lot to be jealous that I am still living off of my sisters.

Prue Halliwell: I am so sick of the fact that I've been saddled with the two of you my entire life.
Phoebe Halliwell: Whatever, I'm leaving.
Piper Halliwell: Oh, sure, you're such an immature brat! You leave every time you can't hack something.
Phoebe Halliwell: Well, there's nothing keeping me here now, is there?
Prue Halliwell: Oh, well, I see that you've inherited dad's talent of bailing.
Phoebe Halliwell: That's because the two of us couldn't deal with living with the two of you.
Piper Halliwell: Well, at least I'm not so stupid I had to do college twice.
Phoebe Halliwell: Well, at least I actually had the courage to go back to college. What's the matter, Piper? The real world too much for you? I am so sick of the two of you ganging up on me and judging me.
Prue Halliwell: I am so sick of saving your asses.
Piper Halliwell: I'm sick of being taken for granted and those are mine.
[pulls off Phoebe's earrings]
Phoebe Halliwell: Ouch! Bitch!
[sisters fight using their powers on each other; the design on Book of Shadows pulls apart breaking the sisterly bond in the Power of Three]

"Charmed: Witch Trial (#2.1)" (1999)
Phoebe Halliwell: I saw him first!
Piper Halliwell: Merging with the first quote.

Phoebe Halliwell: [to Piper after catching her making out with a guy on the couch] Last I heard you were meeting a banker friend about the loan...
[she looks over at the handsome man sitting on the couch]
Phoebe Halliwell: Is this the credit check?

Dan Gordon: Jenny? Jenny, come on. Talk to me.
Phoebe Halliwell: Whoa!
Piper Halliwell: Whoa!
Prue Halliwell: Whoa!
Jenny Gordon: International Operator please. Saudi Arabia.
Prue Halliwell: Saudi Arabia?
Dan Gordon: I'm sorry. We're moving in next door. Or at least we're trying to. Our phone's not hooked up yet.

Phoebe Halliwell: Stevie said all we had to do was to connect. Well here's the connection.
[points to Kit's collar]
Piper Halliwell: Kit's collar?
Phoebe Halliwell: No! The triquetra.

"Charmed: I've Got You Under My Skin (#1.2)" (1998)
Phoebe Halliwell: Piper, listen to me. You are the most sweetest, most caring person I've ever met. No, I mean that, you are. You're always there to help anybody, even strangers. You've been doing it your whole life. So there's no way you've been given this, this gift if it wasn't to do good things with it. To protect the innocent just like the Book Of Shadows said. Besides, if anyone is concerned of being bad, it's me, right? You've got nothing to be afraid of.

Piper Halliwell: I don't know, it's like our whole lives have been like everybody else. Rushing off to work, going out on bad dates, buying shoes and suddenly we wake up one day and everything is different. We're witches now. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
Phoebe Halliwell: Are you kidding? It's a great thing.
Piper Halliwell: You don't know that. We don't know anything about these powers. Why we have them, what they mean, where they come from. I mean, how do we know it's not... how do we know it's not from evil?
Phoebe Halliwell: Piper, we've been through this. We're good witches.

Piper Halliwell: Bad date?
Prue Halliwell: No. No, no. Not at all. It was great. You know, dinner, movie, sex.
Piper Halliwell: Excuse me? On you're first date? You sleaze.
Prue Halliwell: It wasn't exactly our first date, Piper.
Piper Halliwell: High school doesn't count. That was last decade. Spill it. Ooh, that bad?
Prue Halliwell: No, actually that good. It was... Well, we were naked. But that's not the point. I told myself that things would be different. That we would take it slow. It just shouldn't of happened, that's all.
Phoebe Halliwell: What shouldn't of happened?
Piper Halliwell: Prue slept with Andy.
Phoebe Halliwell: Hello.
Prue Halliwell: Thanks a lot, mouth.
Phoebe Halliwell: Wait, you were gonna tell her but not me? Family meeting.

Elderly Man: Should be used on grandchildren's birthdays. It's a ten million dollar jackpot. Who knows? I mean, today may be our lucky day. If not, we're gonna lose our house.
Phoebe Halliwell: [Phoebe has a premonition] 4, 16, 19, 30, 32 and 40. Those are the winning numbers.
Clerk: Yeah, yeah, right lady. You want this stuff or don't you?
Phoebe Halliwell: 4, 16, 19, 30, 32 and 40. Trust me, Mr. Today is your lucky day. I think I'll buy one of these lottery tickets too.

"Charmed: All Halliwell's Eve (#3.4)" (2000)
Phoebe: So, you're an angel?
Cole: Oh, this? No, not really.
Phoebe: That's okay, neither am I.

Prue: By the looks of the clothes, I'd say we were in the early 1600s.
Phoebe: Where the life expectancy of a witch is, oh, 15 minutes.

Prue: All right, wait, uh, who do you think we are?
Eva: The most powerful witches of all time, of course.
Phoebe: Okay, lucky guess.

Phoebe: This costume happens to be a protest statement.
Prue: I am so impressed that you can make a protest statement and show cleavage all at the same time.
Phoebe: Thanks.

"Charmed: When Bad Warlocks Turn Good (#1.18)" (1999)
Phoebe Halliwell: If you're gonna lose a guy, you might as well lose him to the Big Guy.

Piper Halliwell: Now, they have got the right idea.
Phoebe Halliwell: Who, the nuns?
Piper Halliwell: Yep, nice, safe environment.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, if you like monks.
Piper Halliwell: Stress-free, no need to worry about guys, no wardrobe.
Phoebe Halliwell: No wardrobe? Okay, now you're scaring me.

Piper Halliwell: Good, then you can take it to him. I think he's in the church office.
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay, just don't go taking any vows while I'm gone, all right?

Phoebe Halliwell: Because I'm worried about you, that's why.
Piper Halliwell: Oh, Phoebe, don't start.
Phoebe Halliwell: No, Piper, something's up. You're turning down dates with a guy that you like, extolling the virtues of convent living, you've been working double shifts three times a week... this is not the Piper I know and I'm worried.

"Charmed: Dead Man Dating (#1.4)" (1998)
Piper: I've never seen anybody killed before.
Phoebe Halliwell: Jeremy.
Prue Halliwell: Javna.
Piper: I mean humans.

Phoebe Halliwell: We're The Charmed Ones, Prue, not The Doomed Ones.

Phoebe Halliwell: I am so busted, aren't I?
Piper: Are you out of your mind again?
Phoebe Halliwell: No. I'm the Amazing Phoebe.
Piper: This is not funny. Our powers are supposed to be a secret, not a marketable job skill.

[after saving Mr Correy's life]
Phoebe Halliwell: That'll be 20 dollars. Tip not included.

"Charmed: We All Scream for Ice Cream (#3.10)" (2001)
Phoebe: Why couldn't you get a boy-band song stuck in your head like everyone else?

Phoebe: We thought that the good guys were bad guys, in trying to vanquish them we helped the real bad guys, which were dead ringers for the good guys
Leo: Was that English?

Phoebe: Welcome to our world, dad.

"Charmed: Scry Hard (#7.17)" (2005)
Elise Rothman: This time, *I*'ve got a family emergency, which means I need you to get the evening edition out.
Phoebe Halliwell: Wait, wait, wait, wait. What? What about Dillard? Isn't he your number two guy?
Elise Rothman: Richard is out sick.
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay, but I'm just an advice columnist. I mean, surely you're skipping some rungs on the ladder here.
Elise Rothman: Don't sell yourself short, Phoebe. I have faith in you. Besides, you owe me. Just think of all the times I've covered for your family emergencies.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, but that was different.
Elise Rothman: How so?
Phoebe Halliwell: Well, because they were *my* emergencies.

[as Phoebe and Paige are spying on Zankou Phoebe's phone starts ringing and gives them away]
Paige Matthews: Will you shut that freaking thing off?
Phoebe Halliwell: I'm sorry, but you gotta admire the range, huh? We're in the underworld!

Phoebe Halliwell: Let me ask you a question. Do we ever push the deadline for the evening edition?
Bauer: No. Then it would be called the "sometime in the middle of the night" edition.

"Charmed: The Devil's Music (#2.4)" (1999)
Phoebe Halliwell: Keep an eye on me.
Prue Halliwell: You're kind of hard to miss in that outfit.

Prue: Did you get him?
Phoebe: No.
Piper: What?
Phoebe: I think we need a bigger balloon.

Phoebe: He's huge and ugly and I really think we need a bigger balloon.

Space Jam (1996)
Lola Bunny: [Bugs has just been squashed after pushing Lola out of the way] Are you okay?
Bugs: Me? Oh yeah, I'm fine. Are you okay?
Lola Bunny: Oh Bugs, thank you.
Bugs: Aww, it was nothin'.
Lola Bunny: That was the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.
[she gives him a long kiss, then leaves]

Bill Murray: Okay, here's how I see it. Duck?
Daffy Duck: Yes.
Bill Murray: You kick it in to the girl bunny. Down in the post. Then you dish it back out to the guy bunny.
Lola Bunny: Got it.
Bill Murray: Swing it around to Mike, over here. You go to the hole and dominate!
Michael Jordan: Bill! We're on defense!
Bill Murray: Whoa ho ho! I don't play defense. Okay, you're gonna have to listen to Mike on this guys, listen up.
Michael Jordan: Okay, somebody steal the ball, give it to me, and I'll score before time runs out.
Bill Murray: Don't lose that confidence, okay, paws and wings in here, all right!

Bugs: You wanna play a little one on one, doll?
Lola Bunny: [angrily, with fire in her eyes] Doll?
Bugs: [with hearts over his head] Uh huh.
Lola Bunny: On the court, *Bugs*.
Bugs: Sure.
Tweety Bird: Ooo, she's hot.
[Touches his rear and steam appears with a hissing sound]
Lola Bunny: [starts dribbling] Ready?
Bugs: Yes.
[she gets past him]
Bugs: I got it, I got it!
[she spins around him, he winds up into a knot and she makes a basket]
Michael Jordan: The girl's got skills.
Bugs: [Lola comes over to him seductively] Yes?
Lola Bunny: Don't ever call me "doll".
[blows her ears out of her face]
Bugs: Check.
Lola Bunny: [as she is leaving] Nice playin' with ya.
Michael Jordan: Very smooth.
Bugs: Ahh, she's obviously nuts about me.
Michael Jordan: Obviously.

"Charmed: Be Careful What You Witch For (#2.22)" (2000)
Piper Halliwell: Where are you off to?
Prue Halliwell: Lunch date with Dick.
Phoebe Halliwell: Dull Dick? Prue, you are too hot to have to duty date.
Prue Halliwell: Yeah, well, all demon-hunting and no play has made me a lot less picky. I gotta figure out a way to put some more balance in my life.
Piper Halliwell: Yeah, but you don't need Dick.

Phoebe: Flyings awesome. It's the landing part that's a bitch.

Phoebe Halliwell: Um, just out of curiosity, what would you wish for yourself? I mean, you must of heard them all, right? So what would be your wish?
Genie: That's easy. I wish for the little things, you know, things people take for granted. I mean, the feeling of a sun tan. Taste of ice cream, preferably chocolate. Sex - that looks like that could be a little bit of fun. To be human. Yeah, that's what I'd wish for.

"Charmed: Something Wicca This Way Goes (#7.22)" (2005)
New Piper: What's going on?
Leo Wyatt: What? I don't know.
New Phoebe: Boy, sure hope nobody died in there.
Leo Wyatt: What? Do we know each other?
New Piper: Yeah. I think so. After all we're married.
Leo Wyatt: What?
[Halliwell sisters appear]
Piper Halliwell: Shh, shh, shh. It's all part of the plan.
Leo Wyatt: Plan? What plan?
Phoebe Halliwell: Our plan to die. It's the only way to get our lives back. Our normal lives.
Piper Halliwell: And stop everybody from coming after us, including all of them.
Leo Wyatt: But?
Piper Halliwell: No buts. We're free. Nobody even knows we're alive anymore, not even the demons.
Paige Matthews: They think we died in there with Zankou. They were just our astral selves.
Piper Halliwell: Sweetie, we've got a clean slate. We can start all over again. No more demon fighting ever again.
Paige Matthews: Unless the demons figure it out.
Phoebe Halliwell: Which may be never.
Leo Wyatt: I don't know what to say.
Piper Halliwell: Just say you're okay with it.
Phoebe Halliwell: So we can get the next generation ready to pick up where we left off.
Leo Wyatt: How do I do it?
Piper Halliwell: You don't. We do.
Paige Matthews: Don't worry. We'll make you good-looking.
[they all change into their new disguises]
New Piper: Cute. I can live with that.
Darryl Morris: [Darryl sees three women and one man walk away as one of the women smile at him] Well, all right.
[manor door closes]
Darryl Morris: All right.

[Piper and Phoebe are trying to find a spell to use against Zankou]
Phoebe Halliwell: How about a love spell? We could make him fall for one of us.
Piper Halliwell: [scoffs] Sorry, I'm taken.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, well I'm not.
Piper Halliwell: But you're not that desperate.
Piper Halliwell: Are you?
Phoebe Halliwell: Hmm, those demons do have a way of keeping you warm at night.
Piper Halliwell: Yeah, but that's only because they have fireballs.

Piper Halliwell: Wasn't there a confidence spell in the Book of Shadows?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, remember we cast it on that waiter at Quake?
[Piper's eyes widen]
Piper Halliwell: Wow. Quake. That was a long time ago.

"Charmed: Black as Cole (#4.8)" (2001)
Cole Turner: Speaking of unanswered questions...
Phoebe Halliwell: There is a demon on the loose, Cole, we don't have time for this.
Cole Turner: Shouldn't we make time for it?
Phoebe Halliwell: No, not now, we shouldn't.
Piper Halliwell: What are you guys talking about?
Phoebe Halliwell: Nothing.
Cole Turner: Nothing.

Cole: [entering Manor with Phoebe, both are covered in green goo] Don't you think we should talk about this?
Phoebe: Talk about what?
Piper: Wow, looks like you two got a juicy one.
Phoebe: Yeah, but unfortunately no the one who kills witches.
Piper: How do you know?
Cole: Because upper-level demons have a human form and they bleed red, not green.
Piper: Ah.
[Phoebe heads upstairs]
Piper: .
Cole: Where are you going?
Phoebe: I'm going up to take a shower first and then I'm going to check The Book of Shadows. I wanna ID this demon I'm wearing, try to find some answers.
Cole: Speaking of unanswered questions...
Phoebe: There is a demon in the loose Cole, we don't have time for this.
Cole: Shouldn't we make time for it?
Phoebe: No, not now we shouldn't.
Piper: What are you guys talking about?
Phoebe: Nothing.
Cole: Nothing.
[shakes head]
Phoebe: Please Cole, let's just focus on vanquishing the demon.
Cole: Fine. I'll go see what I can find out.
[shimmers out]

Piper: What happened between you and Cole?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah that. Um, I'm not exactly sure... He asked me to marry him.
Piper: What? He did what? He did.
Phoebe: More or less.
Piper: What did you say?
Phoebe: I didn't know what to say. I was too surprised. All my power of premonition and I never saw that one coming.
Piper: Uh, wow. I-I-I don't think a witch is allowed to marry a demon. Heh-honey we can't have a demon in the family.
Phoebe: Piper, that is the least of my concerns right now.
Piper: Well, don't kid yourself, if you decide to go through with this... it's going to be a source of huge concerns, especially for them
[She points up]
Phoebe: I have to be concerned with my own concerns, you know
Phoebe: I love Cole, you know I do, but demon stuff aside; I just never thought of myself as the marrying type. It's not something I fantasized about. Ever.
Piper: So then what are you going to tell him?
Phoebe: I don't know.
Piper: Well you have to tell him something because a question like that doesn't go away by itself.
Phoebe: Are you sure?
Piper: Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

"Charmed: Styx Feet Under (#7.5)" (2004)
Phoebe Halliwell: What are you wearing?
Piper Halliwell: You didn't tell her.
Paige Matthews: No. Okay, fine. Piper's dead.
Phoebe Halliwell: WHAT?
Piper Halliwell: I'm not dead. I'm Death. As if my life wasn't busy enough already.

Leo Wyatt: This is really bad.
Phoebe Halliwell: Leo, relax. Piper's been dead before
Leo Wyatt: Not like this, not on the midday news

Piper Halliwell: Phoebe? What are you doing here?
Phoebe Halliwell: Remembering what we're all about.
Piper Halliwell: What we're all about is keeping you alive.
Phoebe Halliwell: Not at the expense of an innocent.
Piper Halliwell: Phoebe, this death thing might not be very real to you, but it is very real to me. I've seen it. I *am* it.
Phoebe Halliwell: Piper, we've all seen it, and it's never stopped us before.
Piper Halliwell: That's before we knew you were next on the list. Why are you not listening to me? I'm trying to save you.
Phoebe Halliwell: Because this isn't just about me. Look, I don't wanna die, but I'm not gonna sit around and wait for an innocent to die either. And I think that's why I needed to take that sabbatical. To remind myself of that.

"Charmed: Pardon My Past (#2.14)" (2000)
[last lines]
Phoebe Halliwell: Still, it's okay to be bad every once in a while, isn't it?
Prue Halliwell: Oh, yeah. A lot.

Phoebe Halliwell: I have too many phobias. To study for my psych exam. I had no idea there were so many. Claustrophobia, arachnophobia,
[flipping through her flash cards]
Phoebe Halliwell: Um, kleptophobia, phallusphobia.
Prue Halliwell: Relax-a-phobia.
Phoebe Halliwell: Cute.
Prue Halliwell: Just trying to help.

Phoebe Halliwell: We were all related - cousins - and we lived here at the manor back in the '20s.
Piper Halliwell: Together? Here?
[looks at Prue]
Piper Halliwell: So much for evolution.

"Charmed: Witchstock (#6.11)" (2004)
Phoebe Halliwell: What about Grams?
Leo Wyatt: She didn't make it.
[The basement door opens and a lot of smoke escapes. The "normal" Grams walks out coughing.]
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Nonsense. You can't damage an old warhorse like me. I'm already dead.

Paige Matthews: It's a little late now, isn't it? We're your granddaughters.
Phoebe Halliwell: Hi, Grams.
Penny Halliwell: I'm your "Grams". The "Demon Hunter"?
Paige Matthews: Yeah and these fancy boots brought me from the future.
Piper Halliwell: And these earrings.
Phoebe Halliwell: And this ring.
Penny Halliwell: You're trying to trick me.
Piper Halliwell: No. Afraid not, Grams. Look, it's payback time. You need to get your act together. We love you, but if you don't start fighting now, all the people we're meant to save in the fut...
[Warlock attacks]

Penny Halliwell: What do I usually do at this point?
Phoebe Halliwell: You usually do something very final if you catch my drift.
Penny Halliwell: Snuff this warlock. His days are done. But make him good for the ecosystem?
[Warlock is vanquished into a shower of flowers]
Piper Halliwell: Now that's what you call flower power.

"Charmed: Enter the Demon (#4.4)" (2001)
Phoebe: [Phoebe and Cole are practicing defense moves] If you wanted to be on top, all you had to do was ask?
Paige: [Paige is on the stairs laughing]
Phoebe: P-Paige... what are you doing down here? Shouldn't you be upstairs studying for Piper's quiz?
Paige: Well, I was kind of hoping to go a couple rounds with the demon first.

Paige: [Paige comes home- thought it is Phoebe in her body] Oh Cole... You scared me.
Cole: Sorry. Didn't mean to; with the rain outside and everyone on Yenlo alert.
Paige: Yeah, Yenlo. That's why I rushed home.
Cole: You're chilled. Here put this on.
[he goes to give her his jacket]
Cole: .
Paige: Oh, you keep it.
Cole: I'm sorry. Am I making you feel uncomfortable?
Paige: No of course not, I was just wondering what Phoebe would feel about this.
Cole: Phoebe?
Paige: Uh, yeah, your girlfriend, Phoebe, remember?
Cole: Yeah, you see the problem with Phoebe is she's so obsessed with training. She's not interested in
Cole: romance anymore.
Paige: That's not true, uh, I mean, she...
Cole: You on the other hand, strike me as being full of passion, desire. I miss that.
Paige: I gotta go.
[she moves to get away. Cole kisses her passionately, and Paige in Phoebe's body comes downstairs]
Phoebe: Hey!
[Paige grabs Cole by the hand and flips him onto his back]
Paige: How could you do this to me?
Cole: Oh, come one
[laughing, then to Paige]
Cole: I'm just trying to have a little fun Phoebe. Isn't that what you were complaining about me not doing?
Paige: Yeah, but I never meant for
Paige: did you just call me Phoebe?
Cole: Would you rather I kissed her?
[looks at Phoebe]
Paige: No.
Phoebe: No? How do you know?
Cole: Well, for one thing
[talking to Phoebe]
Cole: you suck at levitating and for another you set me straight about the way I've been treating the real Phoebe, as only a sister could.
Paige: You did?
Phoebe: Someone had to.
Cole: Okay. I'm gonna go. Let you guys work this out. When you're yourself again, Give me a call.
[he grabs Paige's butt]
Cole: We'll have some fun.

Phoebe: [in Paige's body] What's going on?
Paige: [in Phoebe's body] Don't worry, Phoebe. It's me, Paige. We switched bodies.
Phoebe: [in Paige's body] What did you do?
Paige: [in Phoebe's body] Why do automatically assume it was something that I did?
Phoebe: [in Paige's body] Paige!
Paige: [in Phoebe's body] All right, all right. I did it, but it was an accident. I swear. I just wanted to know what it was like to be you and somehow the potion I was working on just sort of blew up.
Phoebe: [in Paige's body] You wanted to be me? Are you crazy? Okay. Okay. We gotta fix this. What ingredients did you use?
Paige: [in Phoebe's body] I'm not sure. Just please don't tell Piper. She already thinks I'm a screw-up as it is.
Phoebe: [in Paige's body] Hello! Paige, we are in each other's bodies. I think Piper is the least of our problems. Okay, fine. I won't tell her. Now wipe that look off my face.
Paige: [in Phoebe's body] Thanks. God, this top is tight.
Phoebe: [in Paige's body] Yeah, but it sure looks great.
Cole: So, ready to get back at it?
Phoebe: [in Paige's body] Yeah, just a minute sweetie.
Cole: Not you. Phoebe.
Paige: [in Phoebe's body] Uh, sure, sugar. Whatever you say. Lets go work up a sweat.
Phoebe: [in Paige's body] Uh, just a minute. Actually, Phoebe has to stay with me. She has to help me with the potion. It blew up in my face.

"Charmed: Oh My Goddess!: Part 2 (#5.23)" (2003)
Chris Perry: What can I do to get you two over the hump here?
Phoebe: Try saying this - it always works for Leo - "Your power comes from your emotions."
Paige: Or, or what about this - "Trust the Power of Three."
Phoebe: Or how about this one - "I'm gonna go check with the Elders." Do you actually think he checks with the Elders?
Paige: No. He probably just orbs to a sports bar and buys his buddies rounds of drinks. "Yeah, my wife thinks I'm Up There. Here's to the Elders."

Piper: [Piper and Paige walk in on Phoebe surrounded by men] Phoebe, we need to talk.
Phoebe: [In a relaxed voice] Yes, this world would be such a lovely place if everyone just talked more.

Piper: What are they doing here?
Phoebe: Oh, worshipping me, adoring me, exalting my name. There is so much love in this room I can barely stand it.

"Charmed: Apocalypse, Not (#2.21)" (2000)
Phoebe Halliwell: Look at them. They'll all live to dance another day, and what do we get? We saved the whole darn world. The least thing we could get is a thank you, you know.

Phoebe Halliwell: I thought dodging the Y2K bullet bought us more time on the whole Apocalypse thing.
Leo Wyatt: You know why nothing happened on New Years Eve? Because it wasn't the real millennium. The monks who converted the Julian calendar to the Gregorian calendar made some critical errors.
Piper: So when does the new millennium start?
Leo Wyatt: Tonight, approximately.

Bartender: Everyone has to vote on this: What if a building was on fire - do you save five strangers or one sibling?
Prue, Piper, Phoebe Halliwell: Five strangers.

"Charmed: The Courtship of Wyatt's Father (#6.16)" (2004)
Piper Halliwell: Talk to us about what?
Paige Matthews: Is it my turn?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah.
Paige Matthews: Yeah. Chris is your son.
Phoebe Halliwell: Wyatt's brother. Look, I know this is huge.
Piper Halliwell: No, it's not huge because it's not possible. It's crazy 'cause I'm not pregnant.
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh.
Paige Matthews: Yeah.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yes. Yes.
Piper Halliwell: No, I'm not. I mean, how could that happen? I mean, I know how that could happen, but it... Oh, what am I gonna do?

Paige Matthews: I can't believe how hard it is to get two people laid.
Phoebe Halliwell: Paige, that is disgusting!
Paige Matthews: Well, it's what we're trying to do, right?
Phoebe Halliwell: No, we are trying to romance Piper and Leo together so they can conceive Chris, our nephew.
Paige Matthews: And that's different how?
Phoebe Halliwell: Well, because what you said is very Springer, what I said is very Oprah.

Phoebe Halliwell: Somebody's got a bunch of Darklighters after us and one of them's got Piper and Leo trapped.
Paige Matthews: In the ghostly plane.
Phoebe Halliwell: Or the spirit realm.
Gideon: Same thing.
Phoebe Halliwell: Right. We made contact with them but then we lost them.
Paige Matthews: And we lost Chris too, although we're not sure why because she can tell if Piper's dead.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, and I can't.
Paige Matthews: So she must still be around somewhere, we just don't know where.
Phoebe Halliwell: So we need to figure out how to use the Darklighter's portal to get them out.
Paige Matthews: And if you follow all that, you really are a *very* powerful Elder.

"Charmed: A Witch's Tail: Part 1 (#5.1)" (2002)
Mylie: I'm not evil or anything.
Phoebe Halliwell: I've heard that one before.

Phoebe Halliwell: Could someone please get me to the ocean before I SUFFICATE? I need some water.
Paige Matthews: You want water? I'll get you some water.
[Phoebe is thrown in a bathtub]
Phoebe Halliwell: You are holding me hostage.
Paige Matthews: Yep, looks like it.
Phoebe Halliwell: Look, I am not a common goldfish. I cannot ignore the call of the sea.
Paige Matthews: Well, the call of the common bathtub is just going to have to do.
[Phoebe splahes Paige with water]

Craig Wilson: Who are you people?
Paige Matthews: Witch.
Leo Wyatt: Angel.
Phoebe Halliwell: Mermaid.
Paige Matthews: Don't you mean witch?

"Charmed: Magic Hour (#3.2)" (2000)
[upon hearing what could happen if Piper and Leo go against the Elders]
Phoebe: This whole unspeakable wrath thing, does that mean just the bride and groom, or the bridesmaids as well?

Phoebe: If I had a dollar for every times an owl turned into a hot guy on our porch, I'd be rich...

[Grams magically flips the Book of Shadows open to the page on Handfasting]
Phoebe: You know, I specifically asked for a...
Grams: [voiceover] You asked for an answer. There it is.
Phoebe: [suspiciously] I know that voice...
Grams: [appearing in spectral form] Well, I should hope so.

"Charmed: Exit Strategy (#3.20)" (2001)
Piper: Leo!
Prue: Uh, he's our whitelighter
Phoebe: And our brother-in-law
Piper: I don't know what is up with me. Every time I freeze, I flame!
Prue: Uh. Leo!
Phoebe: I'm fine really it's no big deal
Piper: Phoebe it is a huge deal! Cole tried to kill you!
Prue: He's the demon
Piper: And her boyfriend
Phoebe: We have very complicated lives

Prue, Phoebe, Leo Wyatt: *hears an explosion from the kitchen, and they all look in that direction, then go into the kitchen*
Piper: *is covered in watermelon, worried* Ehh... heh neh neh...
Prue: *looking up at the ceiling* OK, was it a demon?
Piper: No. It was watermelon!
Phoebe: *puts towel over her head* Honey... why did you vanquish watermelon?
Piper: *squeaky voice to start* I didn't vanquish watermelon! I threw it up in the air, and I tried to freeze it, and it exploded! *gestures with her hands, and blows up windows and gasps... turns around panicky, waving hands, and blows up china* Oh!
Leo Wyatt: *after dodging glass*... this is the little problem I was telling you about...
Phoebe: Oh... *removing towel from her head* OK Piper, slowly put your hands down, and no one will get hurt.

"Charmed: Animal Pragmatism (#2.13)" (2000)
Prue: Okay, how are we doing on that spell?
Phoebe Halliwell: You know, you keep throwing this 'we' word around and I don't see you doing anything.

Prue: Phoebe how's the spell coming?
Phoebe Halliwell: It'd be coming a lot better if I could get my hands on a pinch of the salt of life.
Leo Wyatt: We got the salt of margarita.
Phoebe Halliwell: I will take it.

"Charmed: Give Me a Sign (#2.15)" (2000)
Piper: You said it was a trap.
Phoebe: [checking out Bane] A tall, dark and naked trap.

Piper: Oh... my... God!
Prue Halliwell: Uh... What are you guys doing here?
Phoebe: We're rescuing you from the tall, dark, and naked man.
Prue Halliwell: I told you to stay away.
Phoebe: Yeah, now I know why. He is yummy.
Piper: I don't believe this! We've been frantic, worried sick about you thinking you've been kidnapped.
Prue Halliwell: Yeah, I was.
Piper: Panties.
Prue Halliwell: Oh, oh! Huh, thanks. Look, you guys have really got this all uh... wrong.

"Charmed: Chick Flick (#2.18)" (2000)
Phoebe: Hello, privacy!
Prue: Hello, axe murderer!

[after Phoebe puts the Demon of Illusion into the movie]
Film Geek: That was the coolest thing I ever seen!
Phoebe: It's all part of the movie, sir.

"Charmed: Sleuthing with the Enemy (#3.8)" (2000)
Cole: Is there something wrong Phoebe? Something you're not telling me.
Phoebe: Don't you think you have that backwards?
Cole: Meaning?
Phoebe: Well, you're the one with all the secrets, right?
Cole: Am I? You sure about that?
Phoebe: I don't know what I'm sure about anymore.
Cole: Yea, I know how you feel.
Phoebe: I doubt that.
Cole: I think I know what's going on here Phoebe and I'm sorry its come to this. But I'm not sorry about us. You need to know that.
Phoebe: You never told me where you were from.
Cole: You never asked.
Phoebe: I'm asking now.
Cole: Why don't you ask me what you really want to know Phoebe. I won't lie to you.
Phoebe: Who are you?

Inspector Reece Davidson: And you are?
Phoebe: Phoebe.
Inspector Reece Davidson: Is that like a Cher, or a Madonna, or do you have a last name?

"Charmed: Bride and Gloom (#3.13)" (2001)
Cole: You're the only one who knows I'm alive.
Phoebe: Actually that's not true. I couldn't keep lying to my sisters. I had to tell them.
Cole: Okay. That's okay. I understand, as long as you didn't tell Leo.
[pause, Phoebe turns her head]
Cole: Oh for God's sake, Phoebe, why didn't you just put an ad in the paper? Tell the whole damn world.
Phoebe: Maybe I should have.

Phoebe: [after turning Leo into a stick in the mud] Look at all the fun we've been missing.

"Charmed: The Three Faces of Phoebe (#4.14)" (2002)
[to Young Phoebe]
Phoebe Halliwell: You see that girl right there? That's Piper, all grown up.
[Young Phoeboe stares at Piper]
Phoebe Halliwell: And that's her husband, Leo.

Phoebe Halliwell: [to Cole, about older Phoebe] I would stay out of my bedroom if I were you. Unless you want to get slapped again.

"Charmed: Muse to My Ears (#4.9)" (2001)
Cole: [the Charmed ones are being inspired by a muse] I think Leo should orb me down to the Underworld. I may not be a demon anymore, but I still know the terrain.
Phoebe: And you may just find yourself in ever-lasting pain!
Paige: ... That was a rhyme.
Phoebe: I know; and now is not the time.

Phoebe: And even if you think we don't need the protection, just think of Cole, he is a human being with no magical powers living in a house that's constantly under demonic attack.

"Charmed: The Importance of Being Phoebe (#5.11)" (2003)
Phoebe: All right, don't call me "sweetie". You can't hold a person prisoner and then call them "sweetie"!

Brute Demon: Kaia, you still playing good witch?
Phoebe: It's how the big guy likes it.
Brute Demon: Sick.

"Charmed: The Painted World (#2.3)" (1999)
Phoebe Halliwell: You would never cast a smart spell. 24 hours, from 7 to 7, I will understand all meaning from here to heaven. Spirits, send the words from all across the land. Allow me to absorb them through the touch of either hand. For 24 hours, from 7 to 7, I will understand all meaning of the words, from here to heaven Oh, and P.S. there will be no personal gain. Abaca: Stronger fiber obtained from a banana leaf. Zygote: A cell formed by the union of two gametes. Cool!

Phoebe Halliwell: You know, this whole smart spell thing... it really just made me realize that there's a lot of cool information out there.
Prue Halliwell: I agree.
Phoebe Halliwell: And who knows, maybe I will go back to college, take some night classes. I'm a smart girl; I'll figure it out.
Prue Halliwell: Yes, you will.

"Charmed: Witchness Protection (#7.10)" (2004)
The Seer/Kiera: LEO!
Piper: Did she just call for Leo?
Phoebe: Ugh! I thought he was our whitelighter.

Phoebe: Paige. Demon. No active power. Do something!
Paige Matthews: Mirror!
[Mirror orbs of the wall, the Seer dodges and it crazhes to the floor]
The Seer/Kiera: Is that my bad luck or yours?

"Charmed: Womb Raider (#4.21)" (2002)
Phoebe: No wait I'm only two months pregnant.

Piper Halliwell: Did your baby just electrocute the nice doctor man?
Phoebe: Yeah... I think so. But he was just protecting himself, 'cause that gel was really cold.
Piper Halliwell: Protecting himself? Unborn babies don't perform magic tricks in the first trimester, Phoebe.
Phoebe: [pulling Piper closer] What is going on?
Piper Halliwell: I don't know, but don't panic, okay? We'll wrap up here, and we'll go home and panic.

"Charmed: We're Off to See the Wizard (#4.19)" (2002)
Paige Matthews: Oh, thank God we found you.
Phoebe Halliwell: It's too late.
Paige Matthews: Hey, I thought only evil could touch that book.
Phoebe Halliwell: That's right.
Piper Halliwell: Phoebe, what's going on?
Phoebe Halliwell: I'm embracing my new destiny.
[Flames out with Cole]

[Phoebe is trying to avoid telling Cole she's pregnant]
Cole Turner: Phoebe, what's wrong?
Phoebe Halliwell: Why? What makes you think there's something wrong?
Cole Turner: Because every time you lie, I can see your wisdom teeth?

"Charmed: Lost and Bound (#4.12)" (2002)
Piper: [after injuring Ludlow] Power of three spell?
Phoebe: I don't have one.
Paige: I did one.
Piper, Phoebe, Paige: The brittle winter gives way to flowers of spring, Ludlow is vanquished.
[Ludlow yells and blows up. Piper and Phoebe are looking perplexed]
Phoebe: What the hell was that?
Paige: It was a Haiku. I couldn't do the rhyming thing.

Paige: Hey, Cole, how's your progress going on
[walks into the bathroom and sees Phoebe standing naked in the bathtub]
Paige: Oh, God! Full frontal Phoebe. Sorry.
Cole Turner: [stuttering] She just flashed.
Paige: Yeah, I got that.
Cole Turner: No, no, I mean she flashed black and white.
Paige: Again? She's like an old TV that's on the blink or something.
Cole Turner: Hey, uh, maybe that's the connection. The TV show "Bewitched", is that in black and white or color?
Paige: Originally, black and white.
Phoebe: [shivers] Brr. I'm very chilly.
Paige: Uh, Phoebe, sit down.
Phoebe: Okay.
[Phoebe sits back down in the tub]
Paige: Why are you asking me about "Bewitched"?
Cole Turner: Because Phoebe was worried about becoming an old-fashioned housewife like Samantha. And that might be fine for some people, but for Phoebe, that could be kind of dangerous. So I'll take care of her, and you need to write the Power of Three spell.
Paige: No, I've never done that before.
Cole Turner: Well, you're gonna have to learn fast, so go, hurry.

"Charmed: The Demon Who Came in from the Cold (#3.19)" (2001)
Phoebe: I'm so glad you made it back before my graduation.
Cole: I wouldn't miss it for the world. Or the underworld.

[after Phoebe vanquishes Vornac, who was pretending to be Cole]
Piper Halliwell: How did you know?
Phoebe: The safest place Cole knows is with me. He said so.

"Charmed: The Power of Three Blondes (#6.4)" (2003)
Chris Halliwell: You should take this threat seriously. And tell Paige. Where is Paige?
Phoebe Halliwell: She's at her new temp job.
Chris Halliwell: She's still on that kick?
Piper Halliwell: It's not a kick, Chris. It's her quest for happiness outside of magic.
Chris Halliwell: Yeah, but it's a temp job. Who finds happiness on a temp job ?

Piper Halliwell: [taunting Mabel] You've got us now, so why don't you blow us up?
Phoebe Halliwell: Piper, death bad, life good !

"Charmed: Wrestling with Demons (#3.12)" (2001)
Phoebe: I cast a little spell

Darryl: You were blonde when you answered the door. How'd it change?
Phoebe: Well, it must be because I colored my hair in that sink, so technically I lost it there and now I've found it again. I hope this doesn't affect my virginity.

"Charmed: Size Matters (#4.5)" (2001)
Phoebe Halliwell: [shrinks to five inches tall] Ah-oh!

Phoebe Halliwell: Piper freeze him.
Piper: Oh, he's way too big for my tiny magic.

"Charmed: Awakened (#2.12)" (2000)
Phoebe Halliwell: Is that because I can work tonight or is it because I am now Phoebe Halliwell, college student.

Piper Halliwell: The barman has a connection at the docks.
Phoebe Halliwell: Wait, you smuggled it in?
Piper Halliwell: Oh, Phoebe. It's fruit, not drugs.

"Charmed: Still Charmed and Kicking (#8.1)" (2005)
[Janice Dickinson is led into the kitchen by The Brunette and Brown-Haired Woman]
Paige: [magically disguised as Janice Dickinson] What is the meaning of this? Do you have any idea who I am?
The Brunette: Yeah, as a matter of fact we do...
[the Brunette glamors into Phoebe]
Phoebe: Paige.
Paige: I'm sorry, who?
[the Brown-Haired Woman glamors into Piper]
Piper Halliwell: Nice try. Jig's up.
Paige: Oh, all right then, fine.
[Janice glamors into Paige]
Paige: Well, someone had to cry at my funeral, didn't they?

Phoebe: You wanted a normal life more than all of us, right? So what's changed all of a sudden?
Piper Halliwell: I'm a little neurotic. What do you want from me?

"Charmed: Happily Ever After (#5.3)" (2002)
Phoebe Halliwell: I don't know what you're up to but whatever it is, it is not gonna work.
Cole Turner: Don't you think you're being a little paranoid?
Phoebe Halliwell: With my demon ex-husband from hell? No, Cole, I don't.

Phoebe Halliwell: [Phoebe and Paige walk across the street without stopping. People in cars slam on their breaks on honk their horns] *Hey* I'm walking here!
Car Driver: Get out of the street!
Paige Matthews: Don't you have any way of controlling those things?
[refering to the Cinderella slippers]
Phoebe Halliwell: They didn't exactly come with an intruction manual, Paige.

"Charmed: Cheaper by the Coven (#7.3)" (2004)
[after Patty reverses the sibling rivalry spell]
Victor Bennett: So how does this work, exactly? You remember everything that happened?
Phoebe Halliwell: [in horror] Oh, my God. Yes. Leslie.
Paige Matthews: [in shock] Oh, my goodness, I tongued a student.

Piper Halliwell: [about Leslie] Why don't you just marry him already.
Phoebe Halliwell: Why don't you just marry Leo?
Piper Halliwell: 'Cause I already did.

"Charmed: House Call (#5.13)" (2003)
Phoebe Halliwell: You know, I don't mind losing readers to a legitimate writer, but some misogynistic pig that's a fraud.
Spencer Ricks: Ow! Ow! That hurts! I'm not a fraud. I mean what I write.
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh, do you?
Spencer Ricks: If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen, baby. Oh, wait. That's a woman's place, isn't it? So, then, you wouldn't have anywhere to go, would you?
Phoebe Halliwell: You know what? You're a turkey and turkeys don't write columns!
[turns man into turkey]
Phoebe Halliwell: But they do make delicious dinners.

Piper Halliwell: What are you doing with that thing?
Phoebe Halliwell: Well, first I'm gonna kill it and then I'm gonna stuff it.
Piper Halliwell: You are not bringing that filthy fowl in the house.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yes, I am. Thanksgiving's early this year.

"Charmed: The Legend of Sleepy Halliwell (#6.14)" (2004)
Piper Halliwell: [the three heads of the Charmed Ones are sitting on a table] So... who's bright idea was this, anyway?
Phoebe Halliwell: We were trying to save you.
Piper Halliwell: Yeah? Good job on that one.
Phoebe Halliwell: And who went and got her head stolen?
Piper Halliwell: While you were off contemplating your navel, while you still had one...
Paige Matthews: Guys, we are not getting anywhere arguing.
Piper Halliwell: Actually, we're not getting anywhere because we don't have any bodies.
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay, look. We said we were sorry.
Paige Matthews: Can we try looking on the bright side? I mean, you know, we're still alive.
Piper Halliwell: Only 'cause Zachary can't kill us in here.
Paige Matthews: I don't think he would if he could. I mean, he practically apologized to us.
Phoebe Halliwell: I think she's right, actually. I didn't sense any anger from him, just a lot of sorrow.
Piper Halliwell: So, what? He did this to us just to get us out of the way? To do what?
Phoebe Halliwell: To get revenge on the school.
Paige Matthews: And Gideon.

[last lines]
Phoebe Halliwell: I need you to be honest with me. No games, no running away. Just the truth.
Chris Halliwell: [shrugs] Okay.
Phoebe Halliwell: Are you Wyatt's little brother?
Chris Halliwell: [sigh] Only if I can get Piper and Leo back together in time.

"Charmed: Blinded by the Whitelighter (#3.11)" (2001)
Leo: Why don't you go into the front room and meet Natalie?
Phoebe: Who's Natalie?
Piper: Oh she's a bi...
Leo: Fellow whitelighter, see now I'm finishing your sentences.
Piper: Hmm... That's not what I was going to say.

Phoebe: Alright, you know what? This is too hard usually in these situations, you know. Everything happens so quickly, the adrenaline is pumping.
Natalie: I want you to think using your brains, not your glands. Now try again.

"Charmed: Rewitched (#8.5)" (2005)
Phoebe: [Piper and Phoebe chiding Billie about casting a love spell on Phoebe and Dex, which caused them to marry]
Billie Jenkins: Yeah, I still don't know what I did was so bad!
Phoebe: [Indicating about her wedding ring] This, this is what's bad!
Piper: [Sees Phoebe's ring] Whoa! Hey! Wow, that's huge!
Phoebe: Pfft.

Dex Lawson: I love you, Mrs. Lawson.
Phoebe: Oh, say it again
Dex Lawson: Mrs. Lawson.
Phoebe: I love it.
Dex Lawson: Uh - wait. I have to carry my bride across the threshold, don't I?
Phoebe: Ohh!
[Pheobe carried across the threshold]
Dex Lawson: [Dex looks around confused and drops Phoebe] Wha...? Oh, what happened?
Phoebe: Well, you dropped me. That's what happened!
Dex Lawson: Look, I'm sorry.
Phoebe: You should be sorry.
Dex Lawson: Wha...? Why was I just carrying you?
Phoebe: What are you wearing? What am I wearing?
[Looks at wedding ring]
Phoebe: Oh!
Dex Lawson: Did we just do what I think we just did?
Phoebe: You... and just... I need a...

"Charmed: Long Live the Queen (#4.20)" (2002)
Piper Halliwell: Phoebe, you heard what he said, he's gonna kill us, help us!
Phoebe Halliwell: Forgive me.
Cole Turner: I'm sorry. It's for the best.
Phoebe Halliwell: I know it is.
[Phoebe kisses him]
Piper Halliwell: Phoebe?
Phoebe Halliwell: I'm sorry too.
[Phoebe traps him]
Cole Turner: Phoebe, no. No!
Phoebe Halliwell: I'm sorry, baby, I'm so sorry.
Piper Halliwell: Prudence, Penelope, Patricia, Melinda...
Phoebe Halliwell: Ashford, Helen, Laura and Grace...
Cole Turner: I will always love you.
Paige: Halliwell witches stand strong beside us.
Phoebe Halliwell: Vanquish this evil...
Paige, Phoebe Halliwell, Piper Halliwell: From time and space.
[Cole is vanquished]

Phoebe Halliwell: Can you do anything about this thunder? Because it is making me nuts!
The Seer: I have no sway over the weather. I do have a friend who works with wind, but she's out of town.

"Charmed: Hulkus Pocus (#8.9)" (2005)
Phoebe Halliwell: No, Piper! It's Billie.
[Billie growls menacingly]
Phoebe Halliwell: No! Don't! You might blow her up.
[deformed Billie hurls a table]
Phoebe Halliwell: OK! Blow her up.

Phoebe Halliwell: We're going to save you. We're gonna save magic while we're at it.
Billie Jenkins: How can you save magic when you don't believe in your own anymore?

"Charmed: Sin Francisco (#3.18)" (2001)
Phoebe Halliwell: I don't know, I don't know. One minute I was telling him why my paper was late, the next thing I knew was... unzipping his pants with my teeth.

Prue Halliwell: Hey, be nice, I don't even want to think about sin tonight.
Phoebe Halliwell: Me neither.
Prue Halliwell: So this is a pretty interesting band, what's their name?
Piper Halliwell: Orgy.

"Charmed: Repo Manor (#8.13)" (2006)
Piper Halliwell: Oh, don't tell me we're stuck in the doll house again
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, this seems to be an annual event for you

"Charmed: Ordinary Witches (#7.11)" (2005)
Zankou: Where's the third one?
Phoebe Halliwell: Uh, you know what? We're not really sure. So why don't you just come back later, okay?

"Charmed: That Old Black Magic (#2.6)" (1999)
Kyle Gwideon: So, did you guys kick some butt or what?
Phoebe Halliwell: Or what.

"Charmed: A Knight to Remember (#4.6)" (2001)
Piper Halliwell: Nice!
[after a sword fight]
Phoebe Halliwell: Wow!
Piper Halliwell: Leo!
Phoebe Halliwell: I thought you were a pacifist.
Leo Wyatt: I didn't kill him, did I?

"Charmed: Look Who's Barking (#3.21)" (2001)
Piper: [after Prue has turned into a dog to track a banshee] Well at least we know she understands what we are saying.
Phoebe: Oh she's such a pretty dog.
Piper: What else did you expect?
Leo Wyatt: A doberman.
Prue Halliwell: [growls] Grrrrr...
[Leo jumps back]
Leo Wyatt: Easy.
Piper: Awwh, honey watch your orbs.

"Charmed: The Torn Identity (#8.18)" (2006)
Paige Matthews: Okay. Did they just vanquish a demon that can't be vanquished?
Phoebe Halliwell: What does that mean?
Piper Halliwell: I think that means we just found the ultimate power.

"Charmed: She's a Man, Baby, a Man! (#2.5)" (1999)
Darla: Congratulations, Prue. Your days of having trouble with men are over. See you at tonight's mixer?
Prue Halliwell: Okay, you know, for your information, I do not have man troubles. Financial ones, now, yes. But definitely not man troubles.
[Phoebe walks in]
Phoebe Halliwell: We're out of here.
Prue Halliwell: She... you.
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay... it's okay... it's all right.
Prue Halliwell: I don't. Honestly.
[to Phoebe]
Prue Halliwell: Tell her.

"Charmed: Trial by Magic (#4.11)" (2002)
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay, do we have to call him the rat demon? Because it's very hard to be appropriately frightened.

"Charmed: The Seven Year Witch (#7.16)" (2005)
[Sandra an Elder orbs in]
Sandra: Don't worry. Leo's Fine.
Piper: So then where is he?
Sandra: Piper, the Elders have come to the consensus that Leo has lost his way. So we've sent him on the path to following his destiny.
Drake Robin: Like the Prodigal son out to find his way in the world?
Piper: Uh, you know what, this Elder speak is not working for me. I need some straight answers, what exactly did you do to him?
Sandra: We erased his memories and put him back on Earth as a mortal. Somewhere you'll never find him.
Phoebe: What? He doesn't remember anything; he doesn't remember Piper, or his sons, nothing?
Sandra: Not even having been an Elder.
Piper: That's crazy. You don't have the right to wipe out someone's mind, an entire life.
Piper: My life!

"Charmed: Valhalley of the Dolls: Part 1 (#6.1)" (2003)
Phoebe Halliwell: No. Because Piper doesn't complain about anything anymore. Ever since Leo left to become an Elder, all she does is walk around the house all... chipper.

"Charmed: Malice in Wonderland (#8.2)" (2005)
Piper: Last year you had a premonition that you would have a daughter which means that this year you have to have a little sex and get pregnant. And since Dex, which coincidentally rhymes with sex, could be the father!
Phoebe: GOD!

"Charmed: The Honeymoon's Over (#3.1)" (2000)
Phoebe: Something good happened. Can't you just accept that?
Cole: [Cole shakes his head]
Cole: It's not in my nature.

"Charmed: Kill Billie: Vol.1 (#8.6)" (2005)
Phoebe: I'm pregnant.
Paige: Dex?
Phoebe: No some guy I met at a gas station... yes, of course, Dex.

"Charmed: Ms. Hellfire (#2.9)" (2000)
Darryl Morris: Begs the same question. How come she's got the bullets in her body if you didn't fire the gun?
Phoebe Halliwell: Do you really wanna know, Darryl?
Darryl Morris: Tell me.
Phoebe Halliwell: We're witches. We have powers.

"Charmed: My Three Witches (#6.6)" (2003)
Gith: An empath? You didn't tell me the middle sister was an empath.
Chris Halliwell: Sorry.
Gith: She must have been feeling his desire when I created her world. It's no matter, my worlds always kill their victims. You know why? Because desires are empty. They lack foundation. This world will fall too. It's only a matter of time.
Jason Dean: [in Phoebe's world after Jason was shot] I'm getting thirsty.
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay. I'll try to see if I can find something.
Gith: [Chris telekinetically puts Phoebe in Paige's world] No.
[Gith kicks Chris and knocks him out]

"Charmed: Baby's First Demon (#5.16)" (2003)
Piper Halliwell: Oh, don't be sorry, Paige. You were brave, and you inspired me to fight and you made the world a safer place for our baby. Which is why I would like to give the baby the middle name of Matthew in honor of his super-protective Aunt Paige.
Phoebe Halliwell: I think that's a great idea.
Leo Wyatt: What do you think?
Leo Wyatt: Yeah.
Paige Matthews: Thanks.
Piper Halliwell: And I also have an idea for his first name. Wyatt, in honor of his very protective daddy.
Leo Wyatt: Really? It doesn't start with a "P."
Piper Halliwell: Eh, so we break the tradition.

"Charmed: A Paige from the Past (#4.10)" (2002)
Phoebe Halliwell: I never answered your question. Ask me again.
Cole Turner: Will you marry me?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yes, I will.

"Charmed: It's a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad World: Part 2 (#6.23)" (2004)
Leo Wyatt: How's Piper?
Dr. Roberts: She's resting comfortably.
Phoebe Halliwell: Is she okay?
Dr. Roberts: We stopped the bleeding, obviously had to perform a C-section, but I think she's going to be okay.
Leo Wyatt: And the baby... Is he all right?
Dr. Roberts: You tell me. Congratulations. He's perfectly healthy.
Phoebe Halliwell: Really?
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh, look, he's beautiful. Baby Christopher. That's your brother.
Paige Matthews: Looks like we didn't lose him after all.
Phoebe Halliwell: Can we see Piper?
Dr. Roberts: Well, maybe just one of you for now.
Phoebe Halliwell: Go tell her we love her. Where'd the baby go? That's your brother.

"Charmed: Lucky Charmed (#5.17)" (2003)
Piper: Take Wyatt out of here.
Leo: But I -
Piper: No, no arguing, just orb, ok? You were the only one that wasn't cursed with the bad luck. He's safe with you.
Leo: All right, well, I'll take him to Uncle Elders. He'll be safe there.
Phoebe: Didn't they ask you not to do that?
Leo: Yeah, but... screw 'em.

"Charmed: Prince Charmed (#6.12)" (2004)
Piper Halliwell: What, What's going on, who is this?
Paige Matthews: Well, uhh this is your birthday present... haha... from me, although you know Phoebe helped
Piper Halliwell: The breakfast?
Paige Matthews: Noo, the muchacho
Piper Halliwell: haha, wait, you what, you, you hired a guy for your birthday?
Phoebe Halliwell: No, we would never hire a guy for your birthday.
Paige Matthews: We MADE him... Magically
Phoebe Halliwell: uhh, you know what this is Paige's present for you, mines the surprise birthday party

"Charmed: Witch Wars (#6.21)" (2004)
Phoebe Halliwell: Paige, you're my baby sister, not my babysitter.

"Charmed: Show Ghouls (#7.15)" (2005)
Phoebe Halliwell: Cabaret Fantome, deadly fire. Maybe Darryl's friend isn't so crazy after all. The Count's club was the biggest, most corrupt in the city. Right until it burned down, killing everyone inside.

"Charmed: Little Box of Horrors (#7.18)" (2005)
Phoebe Halliwell: Magical boys will be magical boys.
Leo Wyatt: Yeah, well, try telling that to his magical mama.

"Charmed: Charrrmed! (#7.4)" (2004)
Phoebe Halliwell: [Enters room] Yo ho, Hello!
Piper Halliwell: Did you just call me a ho?

"Charmed: The Bare Witch Project (#7.2)" (2004)
Piper Halliwell: See what I mean? We have bigger, naked breasts to worry about.
Phoebe Halliwell: Paige has her naked breasts to worry about and I've got yours.

"Charmed: Valhalley of the Dolls: Part 2 (#6.2)" (2003)
[Darryl arrives at the manor covered in cuts and bruises]
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh, my God. Darryl, what happened?
Darryl Morris: I think I just got attacked by Attila the Hun.

"Charmed: Forget Me... Not (#6.3)" (2003)
Paige Matthews: Wait a second, so you're saying Wyatt conjured a dragon?
Piper Halliwell: Yep, right out of the TV.
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh, you must be so proud.
Piper Halliwell: Yeah -or a little irritated.

"Charmed: Gone with the Witches (#8.20)" (2006)
Piper Halliwell: I'm saying that I they they did to the laeprachasuns what the Triad did to them.
Phoebe Halliwell: Turned them against us?
Piper Halliwell: Twist everything around and make us look like the bad guys.
Paige Matthews: That's crazy. They would never believe that.
Piper Halliwell: Sure they would. Think about our track record with them lately.
Phoebe Halliwell: But what purpose would that serve? I mean, why bother?
Piper Halliwell: I don't know. To isolate us, make sure that we have a little less back-up in our time of need.

"Charmed: Used Karma (#6.13)" (2004)
Phoebe Halliwell: You have every right to be very upset with me. I know I've been a very, very bad girl. Please let me make it up to you.

"Charmed: A Call to Arms (#7.1)" (2004)
Phoebe Halliwell: [walking down stairs with Paige to see Leo an Piper kissing] Oh! All right, stop it! You just stop it right now! Stop it, Stop it, Stop it! You go over there you over here
[Piper starts slapping her]
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh! Keep your hands to your self!
Piper Halliwell: But your interupting us...
Phoebe Halliwell: ...and saving life as we know it...
Leo Wyatt: What are you talking about?
Paige Matthews: Look at your outfit! Does that seem like something you'd normally wear?
Leo Wyatt: ...well no.
Paige Matthews: [whispers] exactly.
[speaking normally]
Paige Matthews: This
[turns Leo's head toward her]
Paige Matthews: is not the first time we've been highjacked by Gods so, you just have to fight it!
Leo Wyatt: I don't wanna fight it... I havn't felt this potent in years.
[Piper raises eyebrows]
Phoebe Halliwell: Oversharing...

"Charmed: Generation Hex (#8.17)" (2006)
Coop: Can't run from love Phoebe, you know that
Phoebe: Oh, does it look like I'm running? Because I'm not running, I'm walking.

"Charmed: Sight Unseen (#3.5)" (2000)
Piper Halliwell: What am I supposed to think? The last two times they orbed him out was right in the middle of it.
Phoebe Halliwell: So what does he say?
Piper Halliwell: He swears they're not watching, but he's a guy - he'll say anything. The point is I think they're watching, and when I think, I can't, I can't, I can't concentrate.
Phoebe Halliwell: Hmm, well, at least you have the option to concentrate. If Cole and I continue this flirting tango thing, I'm gonna have to start concentrating on myself.

"Charmed: It's a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad World: Part 1 (#6.22)" (2004)
Phoebe Halliwell: It's okay. We've been through worse. We'll get through this. We'll figure it out. And if you get back to the future and we're in jail, you just have to bust us out. You just go back to that beautiful, peaceful world that you helped create. I'm really gonna miss you.

"Charmed: Nymphs Just Wanna Have Fun (#5.19)" (2003)
Phoebe: Oh, are we back to blaming you again?
Piper: Yeah.
Phoebe: Just checking.

"Charmed: Coyote Piper (#3.9)" (2001)
Phoebe: I'm not saying that you're wrong, I'm just saying that I hope you're wrong.
[sees Piper dancing on the bar counter]
Phoebe: O-o-oh!
Prue: Oh!
Phoebe: Hope... dashed.

"Charmed: Freaky Phoebe (#7.19)" (2005)
Phoebe Halliwell: Great! I'll meet you downstairs. I'm going to go slip into something a little bit more sexy.
Piper Halliwell: Sexy? Phoebe, we're killing a demon, not going to the club.
Phoebe Halliwell: Did I say sexy? I meant... comfortable.
Piper Halliwell: Wait!
Phoebe Halliwell: God. Now what.
Piper Halliwell: Maybe we shouldn't go after this guy until we have the power of three.

"Charmed: How to Make a Quilt Out of Americans (#2.17)" (2000)
Piper: I don't understand, how could we let her do this to us?
Prue: Because we trusted her.
Phoebe: Yeah, well she just got crossed off of my Christmas list.
Piper: Aunt Gail was Gram's best friend, she used to bake us Christmas cookies,
Piper: And now she's spiking our tea.

"Charmed: There's Something About Leo (#7.9)" (2004)
Phoebe Halliwell: Are you making spaghetti sauce?
Piper Halliwell: No, that's demon blood.

"Charmed: Saving Private Leo (#4.17)" (2002)
Phoebe Halliwell: I'm Phoebe, Mr. Turner's new wife.

"Charmed: Witch Way Now? (#4.22)" (2002)
Phoebe Halliwell: You're pregnant!
Piper Halliwell: Who's pregnant?
Phoebe Halliwell: *You're* pregnant!
Piper Halliwell: I'm pregnant?

"Charmed: Astral Monkey (#2.20)" (2000)
Leo Wyatt: [from behind Phoebe, thinking she is Piper] Ever done it on a cloud?
Phoebe Halliwell: [turning around] I don't know, does a featherbed count?

"Charmed: Mr. & Mrs. Witch (#8.11)" (2006)
[After Billie's parents got turned into assassins]
Billie Jenkins: What is going on?
Phoebe: Piper what did you put in their food?
Piper: Food was in the food. Thank you.
Phoebe: How do you explain this?
Piper: Well don't look at me, she's the one who said assassin.
Billie Jenkins: It's a figure of speech!

"Charmed: Reckless Abandon (#2.11)" (2000)
Phoebe Halliwell: Who would bring a baby to a police station?
Darryl Morris: It was abandoned. Now, look, Phoebe...
Phoebe Halliwell: Abandoned? That's awful.
Darryl Morris: That's why they call it a crime.

"Charmed: Brain Drain (#4.7)" (2001)
Phoebe: Is something wrong.
Piper: No. Everything is just right.
Paige: Except my chair...
Piper: Yeah... which, ummm, I'll actually pay to replace.
Paige: Oh God no. It's not your fault.
[Paige pauses]
Paige: Or is it?
Piper: Actually, yeah... it is. I was just upset that there was yet another demon in our house, in our lives. And I know I should stop fighting it and just accept it, but...
Paige: Nah. It wasn't my favorite chair. Besides, it is kinda good to know I am not the only one who struggles with the idea of being a witch.
Phoebe: No, trust me, you are in good company.
Leo: Well, the good news is that you won't have to deal with the Source anytime soon, because Cole hurt him pretty bad.
Cole: Not bad enough though, he'll be back.
Phoebe: So.
[Phoebe rubs her hands up and down Cole's chest]
Phoebe: He's gone for now. First time in a long time. Maybe we should take advantage of that.
Cole: [Cole pulls Phoebe up against him] Why Ms. Haliwell, are you trying to seduce me?
Phoebe: Always.
Piper: Ewwww...
Phoebe, Cole: [Phoebe and Cole race up the stairs laughing]
Paige: Okay... I'm just going to go to the store and get some milk or something...
[Paige leaves]
Leo: [to Piper] You sure you're okay?
Piper: Yeah. I mean, I'm never going to stop wanting a normal life, but I think thats the one thing that actually keeps me sane.
Leo: Well, you deserve a normal life Piper. We both do. And maybe we'll get that once we banish the Source once and for all.
Piper: And who knows. Maybe one day I could have a baby shower of my own. What do you think?
Leo: Well in that case...
[Leo picks Piper up and cradles her in his arms]
Piper: Oh!
Leo: [Leo grins] Need to practice a little.
Piper: Leo!
Piper, Leo: [Piper and Leo orb off in a shower of blue sparks. You hear Leo laughing]

"Charmed: Bite Me (#4.18)" (2002)
Phoebe Halliwell: Hello? This is Phoebe Halliwell. Hi, doctor, did the test results come in? I'm... what?
Doctor: I double-checked the results myself. You're pregnant, Miss Halliwell. Congratulations. Miss Halliwell? Miss Halliwell? Hello?