Paige Matthews
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Quotes for
Paige Matthews (Character)
from "Charmed" (1998)

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"Charmed: Centennial Charmed (#5.12)" (2003)
Paige Matthews: Happy birthday, Cole.

Paige Matthews: She's still alive. Grab her hand.
Phoebe Halliwell: What?
Cole Turner: I don't know how you got here, Paige. But if it's any consolation, I know exactly where I'm gonna bury you... right next to yourself.
Paige Matthews: Grab her hand.
[Surrounded by blue light, they release the Power of Three and Cole's energy ball bounces off of them]
Phoebe Halliwell: The Power of Three.
Paige Matthews: That's us. Potion! I do hate long good-byes.
Phoebe Halliwell: No!
Paige Matthews: Phoebe, are you crazy? Throw it before he shimmers out!
Cole Turner: She's not gonna throw it. Are you?
Paige Matthews: Throw the potion.
Cole Turner: We've been through so much together... haven't we? Our love's so strong, nothing can destroy it, not even this. We're meant to be together.
Phoebe Halliwell: I don't think so.
[Vanquishes Cole]

Paige Matthews: You don't recognize me. That's ok. Piper didn't either.
Phoebe Halliwell: Piper? You know Piper? How is she?
Paige Matthews: She's different. Look, I don't have a lot of time, so I'm just gonna drop this on you. I am your long-lost sister Paige. I know! It sounds crazy, but it's true. We're all sisters in the real world.
Phoebe Halliwell: Guards!
Paige Matthews: Look, I don't know how he did it, but Cole somehow switched realities in his twisted attempt to get you back. I somehow slipped through the cracks and landed here. I don't know how, either, but I need your help in order to turn things back to the way they're supposed to be.

Paige Matthews: Oh major sneeze. Hey, who turned out the lights? And the heat? Oh. Piper? Piper?

Leo Wyatt: Who are you?
Paige Matthews: Are you kidding? You're not kidding. It's me, Paige, your sister-in-law.
Leo Wyatt: Look, I don't know who you are, lady, and I don't have time for games. All hell is breaking loose out there, so if you don't mind...

Piper Halliwell: Sure. No problem. Just as soon as you tell me where I can find Shax.
Paige Matthews: Shax? What's she talking about? We vanquished him already.
Leo Wyatt: Nobody's vanquished Shax. Ever since he killed Prue, Piper's been obsessed with getting revenge on him.

Paige Matthews: Ok. What bizarre world have I sneezed my way into? You two are married, and you're expecting, a magical child, no less. And you, you're not La Femme Nikita. You're a Charmed One. You don't mind kicking ass when you have to, but otherwise, you'd rather be hanging out with your sisters, baking cookies or knitting booties.

Paige Matthews: Oh, God. It's just so weird. Cole living at the manor, all those demons we vanquished wandering around alive. Wait a second. If the demons are alive, then that means all the innocents we saved are dead.
Leo Wyatt: Not just the innocents, Paige.
Paige Matthews: What are you talking about? What are we doing here?
[Sees grave stone that reads: PAIGE MATTHEWS BORN 1975 - DIED 2001]

Leo Wyatt: Well, your reality sounds a lot better than this one. Not just for Phoebe. So, how can I help you get it back?
Paige Matthews: I need my sisters.
Piper Halliwell: Well, maybe we can start with two and go from there.
Paige Matthews: What are you doing here?
Phoebe Halliwell: Burying the Lazarus demon. I figured if you were right about that, you were probably right about everything else as well.

Paige Matthews: The Cliffs Notes version: Our mom had an affair with her Whitelighter Sam, but because of the whole Witch-Whitelighter rule thing, they had to give me up at birth. But when The Elders realized they needed me to remake The Charmed Ones, they tossed out that stupid rule, which, as far as I'm concerned, paved the way for you and Leo to be able to keep your baby.

Paige Matthews: I'm back!

"Charmed: Charmed Noir (#7.8)" (2004)
[Miss Donovan is crying about the gnome murder]
Phoebe Halliwell: Aw, Miss Donovan, ahy are you crying?
Paige Matthews: One of our teachers. He...
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh. Did he break your heart? Well you call the right person. I can handle this.
Paige Matthews: No...
Phoebe Halliwell: Shhh. Cupid works alone.
[to Miss Donovan]
Phoebe Halliwell: Now did he hurt you? I know, I know, it hurts. But you can't give up on love. It could be the biggest mistake you ever make. Now I could fix you up with one of my readers because I'm doing this series in my paper where I play Matchmaker. I actually have one in mind for you.
Paige Matthews: Wait. He didn't break her heart. He was murdered.
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh. Why didn't you tell me that?
Paige Matthews: I tried to but Cupid shushed me.

Paige Matthews: Don't worry. Magical things happen to us all the time, but this is the first time in black and white.

Kyle Brody: You turned me into a felon, you know that, right? Breaking and entering, vandalism, theft.
Paige Matthews: It's a fiction story in a fiction world. I highly doubt we're breaking any laws.
Kyle Brody: It may be a fictional world, but those bullets seemed pretty damn real to me.

Inspector Davis: You're a little heartbreaker, aren't you? A regular femme fatale.
Paige Matthews: Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm just crazy, crazy for cops, tough cops. The kinda cops that'll arrest your heart, make you long for a life sentence with 'em. You know any cops like that?

Kyle Brody: Oh. What is he?
Paige Matthews: He is a gnome. And one of my teachers.
Kyle Brody: Gnome. Great. Now I suppose you're gonna tell me leprechauns and fairies exist now too?
Paige Matthews: Well, actually, yeah-...
Kyle Brody: Never mind. I can only take so much at a time.

Paige Matthews: They're dicks.
Kyle Brody: [chuckles] Dicks.
Paige Matthews: No, like private eyes. Detectives. Don't you see? They wrote themselves in as the heroes of their own books. Like Sam Spade or Philip Marlowe.

Johnny the Gent: Everyone's on edge on account of the falcon.
Paige Matthews: The falcon, as in the Maltese falcon?
Eddie Mullen: Nah, everyone knows the Maltese was a fake. This one's the real deal. The Burmese falcon.
Kyle Brody: Burmese, you can't be serious. It's a total rip off.

Kyle Brody: Why haven't you left yet?
Eddie Mullen: I can't. The only way out is to end the story. Can't do that until the falcon's found.
Paige Matthews: You don't know where it is?
Eddie Mullen: No. Dan and I laid down the fundamentals at the beginning. The story's got a life of its own now.

Eddie Mullen: It's a flat tire but I don't understand, that's impossible.
Paige Matthews: What, you can't get a flat tire in your book?
Eddie Mullen: No. It's too cliché.

Paige Matthews: Eddie, what's going on?
Eddie Mullen: I'm sorry to do this to you. Really, I am. But, see, this story can never end.

"Charmed: Charmed Again: Part 2 (#4.2)" (2001)
Piper Halliwell: You have to trust us.
Paige Matthews: Trust you, you just froze a nun. How do I know you're not the evil ones?

Paige Matthews: So does this mean I get free drinks now? Oh, I didn't mean it like that. It's not that I really drink or... Okay. I'm just gonna go.

Paige Matthews: I won't stay long. I just wanted to come by and thank you.
Phoebe: For what?
Paige Matthews: For what? You mean, beside from saving my life. I feel like I should bake you a cake or something.
Piper Halliwell: Do you cook?
Paige Matthews: No, no. Not really.

Phoebe: Can I ask you a question?
Paige Matthews: Hmmm.
Piper Halliwell: Why did you come to Prue's funeral? I mean, you never even met her. Right?
Paige Matthews: No. I never did. I don't want this to be taken the wrong way, but I just feel like a part of me lost her too and I just... I felt drawn to her; to all you guys. I guess it was just a part of me trying to find out who I was.
Piper Halliwell: Come on. There's something we need to show you.
Paige Matthews: Show me what?
Phoebe: What good magic can do.

Piper Halliwell: Here these words. Hear my cry spirit from the other side. Come to me, I summon thee. Cross now the Great Divide.
[Patty Halliwell appears]
Phoebe: There's someone here we thought you should meet.
Patty Halliwell: Paige.
Paige Matthews: Mom?
[Patty steps up and embraces Paige]
Patty Halliwell: Welcome home.

Paige Matthews: They? My mother and my father?
Sister Agnes: They came in a swirl of bright white lights just like angels!
Paige Matthews: White lights. What do you mean?
Sister Agnes: Well, that's how they appeared, with you in their arms! I was stunned. I didn't know what to think. They said that you were in great danger, that they had no other choice but to give you up, to protect you.

[after Piper, Phoebe, and Paige vanquish Shax]
Phoebe: It's not enough. Shax was just the messenger. We need to get The Source.
Paige Matthews: The source of what?
[Piper and Phoebe exchange nervous glances]
Piper Halliwell: Of All Evil.

"Charmed: Witchstock (#6.11)" (2004)
Paige Matthews: Excuse me. Mm, who are you?
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Penny.
Paige Matthews: Penny. As in Penny Halliwell Penny?
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Yeah. Who are you?
Paige Matthews: I'm Paige. I'm your grand... I'm your grandest fan. I heard so much about you.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Far out!
Paige Matthews: Far out.
[calendar reads January 1967]
Paige Matthews: You have no idea how far out.

Paige Matthews: I'm not on drugs. I'm just having a bad trip.

Paige Matthews: Gone. That's right. That's exactly what I should be - gone, because I'm actually starting to dig th - like this. Ha! It's kind of cool, everybody being so free.

Leo Wyatt: Listen, if you want some private coaching, there's an empty room upstairs. You dig?
Paige Matthews: Aah. No. I don't dig.

Paige Matthews: It's a little late now, isn't it? We're your granddaughters.
Phoebe Halliwell: Hi, Grams.
Penny Halliwell: I'm your "Grams". The "Demon Hunter"?
Paige Matthews: Yeah and these fancy boots brought me from the future.
Piper Halliwell: And these earrings.
Phoebe Halliwell: And this ring.
Penny Halliwell: You're trying to trick me.
Piper Halliwell: No. Afraid not, Grams. Look, it's payback time. You need to get your act together. We love you, but if you don't start fighting now, all the people we're meant to save in the fut...
[Warlock attacks]

Paige Matthews: [trying to call for an eight track.] Big fat tape thingy!

Paige Matthews: [to LEO] Hey there, sun god.
Leo Wyatt: [really embarrassed] Ha! Hey, that was a long time ago. Let's just keep that between us, ok?

"Charmed: Hell Hath No Fury (#4.3)" (2001)
Phoebe: Cole is not your problem, Piper, and you know it.
[They fight]
Paige: Book!
[the Book of Shadows orbs to her]
Paige: Please let there be something in here.
[Cole conjures an energy ball]
Phoebe: Cole don't! You think I abandoned you. You think it's my fault that Prue died. You blame me, you should just admit it.
[Piper hits her]
Paige: You don't wanna kill me, Piper, you don't even know me! It's not about me, it's not about Phoebe is it?
Phoebe: Leo!
[Leo orbs in. Piper swipes at Paige. Paige orbs behind Piper]
Paige: Phoebe's not the sister who abandoned you, it's Prue isn't it?
[Piper grabs Paige around the throat]
Phoebe: Leo do something!
[Leo orbs Paige and Piper out]
Cole: Where did he take them?
Phoebe: To what Piper's really angry at.
[Cut to scene of Piper, Paige and Leo orbing into Mausoleum. Piper backs away, the camera pans to show the three of them are standing in front of Prue's urn chamber]
Paige: Tell her Piper! It's alright to hate her!
[Piper shakes her head and turns to the door]
Paige: You should hate her!
[Piper grabs the door which is locked and shakes it]
Paige: When my parents died I hated them for it! I was alone and I hated them! It is okay to hate Prue!
[Piper turns around and walks up to Paige]
Piper: How dare you!
[Piper turns and runs to Prue's urn chamber and hits it]
Piper: How dare you leave me! How could you go and die and leave me here alone! Please come back! I need you! Please come back! Aah!
[Piper falls to the floor crying, Leo walks to her]
Leo Wyatt: It's okay, it's okay honey.
Piper: It's not okay. I mean she risked her life everyday and she never thought about what would happen to me and Phoebe if she was gone!
Leo Wyatt: I know.
Piper: How could she think that I could live without her?

Paige Matthews: It's okay to hate Prue Piper. When my parents died I hated them. Piper its okay to be mad at Prue. She left you all alone.

Paige: My boobs are in the way. Can you put it into third for me?

Phoebe: Dirtbag. Okay. "Guided spirits, hear our plea, annul this magic, let it be."
Paige: Please let it be.
[Paige's breasts return to normal size. She looks down and groans]
Paige: Do you think it worked a little too well?

Phoebe: I just hope he finds her fast because if this is anything like the time I turned into a Banshee, she's gonna be hungry for a kill.
Paige: I'm sorry. A Banshee?
Phoebe: Yeah. Demonic screamer, kinda trampy, feeds on pain.
Paige: I think I need to sit down.
[sits in front of Donnie]
Donnie: [stares at Paige's large chest] Whoa!
Leo Wyatt: [Paige socks him in the face knocking him out] Paige!
Paige: What? You only said I couldn't use magic to punish him.

Piper: You are so... busted?
Phoebe: Hello!
Paige Matthews: You stole our sacred book so you could perform magical plastic surgery on yourself?
Paige Matthews: You think I did this on purpose? My body was perfectly fine just as it was. Thank you.
Phoebe: Piper, you could have just blown up a dozen innocent people.
Piper: I took a chance.
Phoebe: See? Are you listening to yourself?
Piper: What happened?
Paige Matthews: I don't know. They just grew.
Piper: Oh, right. And you had nothing to do with that.
Phoebe: Did you cast any spells?
Paige Matthews: One.
[Phoebe gives her a nod]
Paige Matthews: Five.
Piper: Five?
Phoebe: Okay, what did you do just before you turned into Betty Boop?
Paige Matthews: Well. I cast a spell on this slimeball I work with so I could give him a taste of his own medicine.
Phoebe: That the slimeball?
Piper: And that's the backfire.
Paige Matthews: Backfire?
Phoebe: You misused magic to make him the object of ogling, and the spell backfired and did the same thing to you.
Piper: Which you would have learned if you had bothered to ask. But now instead of vanquishing demons, we're gonna have to spend the afternoon fixing your mess.
Phoebe: Okay, Piper, call Leo and get him to orb this slimeball back home. And we have to protect him until we can figure out a way to reverse the spell. Paige and I will grab the book and meet you there.
[Paige looks down at herself and pouts]

Paige: This is all my fault. I shouldn't have stolen the Book of Shadows.
Leo Wyatt: You STOLE the Book of Shadows?
Phoebe: Leo, Leo. Concentrate, please.

"Charmed: I Dream of Phoebe (#6.15)" (2004)
Jinny: You think these crystals can hold me?
[sticks her hand out and is zapped]
Paige: Nope. Not for long, that's why we're putting you back in your bottle.
Jinny: When I form my empire, the first thing I'm gonna do is rid the world of witches.
Paige: Oh yea? Well when you're back in your bottle, the first thing I'm gonna do is put you in the microwave. Haha! How do you like that?
[turns and leaves]

Paige: [Leo and Piper are asleep on the couch and cannot be woken] What's wrong with them?
Chris: It's a long story.
Paige: I don't know. Why don't you give me the Cliffnotes version.
[Chris sighs]
Paige: Come on Chris! You and Leo and Phoebe have all been acting weird since before the demon attacked. What's goin' on?
Chris: All right. I made a little wish.
Paige: You did what?
Chris: Two little wishes.
Paige: Oh great! It's not bad enough that I have to worry about Richard, now I have to worry about you too. What did you wish for?
Chris: For Leo to forgive me, which by the way was an accident.
Paige: And?
Chris: For Piper and Leo to sleep together.
Paige: You! Oh my god. You're sick! What is wrong with you?
Chris: No...
Paige: You're disghusting! You're some creepy registered sex offender from the future! Oh my god you're so gross!
Chris: I'm Piper and Leo's son!
Paige: WHAT?
Chris: They're my parents. I came back to save my family
Paige: You're serious...
Chris: Yea, only now I've got to save myself, because if my mom doesn't get pregnant in the next month, there is no me.
Paige: [sighs] This is all so wrong, and this has been such a long day.

Paige: Yeah, but don't you, um, need to go help Major Nelson?

Jinny: [about the demon Bosk] You cannot handle him. Nobody can. He has a flying carpet and an army of forty thieves.
Phoebe: Thirty-eight. I vanquished two.
Paige: Let me guess. He wanted a crew and a nice ride?

[Phoebe has just set a demon free from a genie's bottle]
Paige: What do you mean she didn't read the warning label?

[Large diamond earrings appear on Paige's earlobes.]
Phoebe: [to Jinny] Did you do that?
Jinny: No, but they are lovely. Who conjured them for you?
Paige: My boyfriend, Richard. He's been showering me with gifts all week.
Phoebe: I thought you were gonna talk to him about binding his powers?
Paige: I have... but every time I bring it up, I just get another present. Luxury problem, I know ! But still.

"Charmed: Forever Charmed (#8.22)" (2006)
Phoebe Halliwell: So much has happened over the last 8 years. So much has been gained and lost. Still, in some ways I feel like my life is really just beginning... and it was. For though I had loved before, I'd never really known love until I met Coop. A man who I shared the special little girl I had long ago forseen, but feared I might never have. Along with two other special little girls I had not forseen. I was suddenly so blessed to have a new family of my own, and old friends to share it with. And though I kept working and giving advice to those who asked, I was more interested in helping them find love. Since finally, having been loved.
Paige Matthews: Phoebe, had become somewhat of an expert on the subject. As for me, life without demons opened up similar avenues. Henry of course continued to look after his parolees, even if they didn't want to be looked after. While still making time to help me with little Henry and the twins. Which allowed me time to finally embrace my inner whitelighter. And to help the next generation of witches come into their own.
Piper Halliwell: So that Paige could pass on all the she learned. Not just to her own children, or to mine, or to Phoebe's, but to other future witches and white lighters as well. Which filled the time between when we were doing the fighting and when our kids were old enough to take over. Allowing me time to get back to my roots and cook something other then potions for once. And open the restaurant I'd always dreamed of owning. As for Leo, after we reclaimed magic school he went back to teaching. Which he continued to do, until it was time to retire. Older Piper
[finishes reading the Book of Shadows to her granddaughter]
Elderly Piper: And although we certainly had our struggles and heart aches over the years we're a family of survivors and we will always be. Which is why we've truly been Charmed.
Granddaughter: Again, Grandmama, again.
Elderly Piper: Oh, dear. No, I can't. I need to rest. But you can look at it for a little while if you'd like. After all, it'll be yours one day.
[as older Piper and Leo walk up the stairs, the camera zooms in pictures spanning four generations of the Halliwell family, including a picture of Victor and Patty]
Elderly Piper: .

Paige Matthews: Hey! What are you doing here?
Henry Mitchell: What am I doing here? I'm looking for my wife. She didn't come home last night. Are you okay?
Paige Matthews: Yes, I'm okay. Of course I'm okay. I mean, we weren't okay okay. But now we're okay. And I think in the future we're gonna be... I think we're going to be more than okay!
Henry Mitchell: Okay...

Paige Matthews: referring to Patty being dead: Does she know?
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: Yes, yes. We know. We're both dead by now. We're over it.
Patty Halliwell: Speak for yourself.

Dumain: My lords, we come from the future to warn you about it. The Charmed Ones will get The Hollow at the same time Billie and Christy will.
Christy Jenkins: Which means we've gotta get to it before they do this time.
[Billie and The Charmed Ones appear]
Dumain: Get of here!
[they vanquish The Triad]
Dumain: No!
Piper Halliwell: Oh, yes.
[Piper vanquishes both Dumains]
Christy Jenkins: I don't understand. How could this happen?
Paige Matthews: Billie projected us here. By focusing on you.
Piper Halliwell: Paige.
Paige Matthews: Ring!
[Paige orbs the ring away from Christy]
Christy Jenkins: [to Billie] How could you?
Billie Jenkins: Christy, please. It's over. Just come home.

Paige Matthews: [Paige, Piper, Phoebe, and Grams orb in] Right, now all we have to do is find Billie and Christy.
Billie Jenkins: [Billie walks in] You don't have to look far.
Billie Jenkins: Can we talk?
[another pause]
Billie Jenkins: Look, I am so sorry for what I've done to you guys, after everything you've done for me. I just wanted my sister back so badly, I couldn't even see that she was manipulating me.
Piper Halliwell: Well, that's very convenient, but how are we suppossed to know this isn't a trap?
[Billie shakes her head]
Paige Matthews: Guess we have to let her talk.
Phoebe Halliwell: Where's Christy?
Billie Jenkins: I don't know. Probably at Magic School trying to figure out a way to kill you.
Penny "Grams" Halliwell: But you're not.
Billie Jenkins: No. No. That was before. They twisted everything to make us think we were doing the right thing.
Piper Halliwell: Who?
Billie Jenkins: The Triad. They used us. They used Christy. Thay have spent the last fifteen years turning her into a killer. That's all they've care about. That's all they've wanted.

Piper Halliwell: Anyway the point is: if I'm going to get my husband back, we have a battle to finish.
Phoebe Halliwell: And we're going to have to get mom back safely, otherwise Paige and I won't be born.
Patty Halliwell: Good point.
Paige Matthews: Well fantastic. Are there any other problems we should be worrying about?
Phoebe Halliwell: [Wyatt and Chris appear] Wyatt?
Piper Halliwell: Chris? What are you two doing here?
Chris Halliwell: Somebody just screwed up our future!

"Charmed: The Day the Magic Died (#5.15)" (2003)
Paige: These were mine and now they're yours. Chain mail top from my club days. Steel toed boots from my mosh pit days. Handcuffs, from last Friday.

Paige: Ladies and Gentlemen its time to rock and roll.

Paige: [Orbs in with a bucket of bubbling mud] Greetings from the Dead Sea.
Phoebe: Oh, Pew! What'd you eat over there?
Paige: It's not me. it's the sulphur in the mud. It has healing properties. You know, people come from all over the world just to get this stuff.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, we want Piper to feel like she's in a spa, not some sewer.

Stanley: [as he dies] My name will haunt you to your grave.
Phoebe: What was his name again?
Paige: I don't remember.

[after discovering a unicorn in their kitchen]
Phoebe Halliwell: Is that a present for the baby?
Paige: Yeah, the best one ever!

Phoebe Halliwell: Ok, breathe. Keep breathing, keep breathing. Don't forget to breathe. Very good! Relax. Relax.
Piper Halliwell: Dad!
Victor Bennett: Yeah, honey?
Piper Halliwell: I'm sorry about your demon wife.
Victor Bennett: Oh, hush. Don't think about that.
Leo Wyatt: I'm right here, baby.
Phoebe Halliwell: You okay? You okay? Ok, you're doing great. You're doing great. Push, okay? Last push.
Piper Halliwell: I can't.
Phoebe Halliwell: You have to. A big one. Big one! Push!
Leo Wyatt: You can do it.
Piper Halliwell: I can't.
Phoebe Halliwell: You can. You can.
Paige: Yes, you can.
Phoebe Halliwell: You're gonna be okay. Push. Push! Push!
Paige: Oh, I think the magic is coming back.
Phoebe Halliwell: Here we go. Here we go! Oh, I see a shoulder. And another shoulder. And an arm, another arm. Oh, and something else. Something else.
[Cuts cord]
Piper Halliwell: What? What?
Phoebe Halliwell: Hi, baby. Hi. Okay. Okay. Look!
Paige: Oh. Is that what I think it is?
Leo Wyatt: You mean, I got a boy?
Phoebe Halliwell: Here you go, mama.
Piper Halliwell: Hi. Hi, little guy. What are you doing? Look what we did.
Leo Wyatt: I see.
Paige: It's a miracle.
Piper Halliwell: A little miracle. He's beautiful. Oh. You are safe, you are loved, and you are wise. How ya doing, what's up?

"Charmed: Happily Ever After (#5.3)" (2002)
Piper Halliwell: What, you think Cole's gonna try and kill us? That would not be the best way to win you back.
Paige Matthews: Yeah, but it wouldn't be the first time he tried.

Paige Matthews: You expect me to believe that there are giant beanstalks and gingerbread houses that actually existed?

Phoebe Halliwell: [Phoebe and Paige walk across the street without stopping. People in cars slam on their breaks on honk their horns] *Hey* I'm walking here!
Car Driver: Get out of the street!
Paige Matthews: Don't you have any way of controlling those things?
[refering to the Cinderella slippers]
Phoebe Halliwell: They didn't exactly come with an intruction manual, Paige.

Leo Wyatt: You used to think the Evil Enchantress was just a fairy tale.
Paige Matthews: That was different. This is...
Piper Halliwell: A fast life. Yours.

[after Paige is rescued]
Paige Matthews: Could someone please tell me how I ended up in a coffin?

Paige Matthews: Uh... No offense, but aren't you supposed to be dead?
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Oh, I'm over that...

"Charmed: Enter the Demon (#4.4)" (2001)
Phoebe: [Phoebe and Cole are practicing defense moves] If you wanted to be on top, all you had to do was ask?
Paige: [Paige is on the stairs laughing]
Phoebe: P-Paige... what are you doing down here? Shouldn't you be upstairs studying for Piper's quiz?
Paige: Well, I was kind of hoping to go a couple rounds with the demon first.

Piper: Listen to me very carefully, there is nothing more important than learning your craft right now. We could be attacked at any moment.
Paige: Then why am I stuck here reading? I should be learning how to body slam sweaty demons, like Phoebe.

Paige: [Paige comes home- thought it is Phoebe in her body] Oh Cole... You scared me.
Cole: Sorry. Didn't mean to; with the rain outside and everyone on Yenlo alert.
Paige: Yeah, Yenlo. That's why I rushed home.
Cole: You're chilled. Here put this on.
[he goes to give her his jacket]
Cole: .
Paige: Oh, you keep it.
Cole: I'm sorry. Am I making you feel uncomfortable?
Paige: No of course not, I was just wondering what Phoebe would feel about this.
Cole: Phoebe?
Paige: Uh, yeah, your girlfriend, Phoebe, remember?
Cole: Yeah, you see the problem with Phoebe is she's so obsessed with training. She's not interested in
Cole: romance anymore.
Paige: That's not true, uh, I mean, she...
Cole: You on the other hand, strike me as being full of passion, desire. I miss that.
Paige: I gotta go.
[she moves to get away. Cole kisses her passionately, and Paige in Phoebe's body comes downstairs]
Phoebe: Hey!
[Paige grabs Cole by the hand and flips him onto his back]
Paige: How could you do this to me?
Cole: Oh, come one
[laughing, then to Paige]
Cole: I'm just trying to have a little fun Phoebe. Isn't that what you were complaining about me not doing?
Paige: Yeah, but I never meant for
Paige: did you just call me Phoebe?
Cole: Would you rather I kissed her?
[looks at Phoebe]
Paige: No.
Phoebe: No? How do you know?
Cole: Well, for one thing
[talking to Phoebe]
Cole: you suck at levitating and for another you set me straight about the way I've been treating the real Phoebe, as only a sister could.
Paige: You did?
Phoebe: Someone had to.
Cole: Okay. I'm gonna go. Let you guys work this out. When you're yourself again, Give me a call.
[he grabs Paige's butt]
Cole: We'll have some fun.

Paige: [in Phoebe's body] How did I get down here?
Cole: Never drop your guard.
Paige: [in Phoebe's body] What did you just call me?
Cole: Well, you really took a shot if you can't remember you're name.
Paige: [in Phoebe's body] Oh, no. I am so screwed and so frosted.

Paige: [in Phoebe's body] Hi, I'm Paige. I mean, Paige's older sister Phoebe. This is Paige.

Phoebe: [in Paige's body] What's going on?
Paige: [in Phoebe's body] Don't worry, Phoebe. It's me, Paige. We switched bodies.
Phoebe: [in Paige's body] What did you do?
Paige: [in Phoebe's body] Why do automatically assume it was something that I did?
Phoebe: [in Paige's body] Paige!
Paige: [in Phoebe's body] All right, all right. I did it, but it was an accident. I swear. I just wanted to know what it was like to be you and somehow the potion I was working on just sort of blew up.
Phoebe: [in Paige's body] You wanted to be me? Are you crazy? Okay. Okay. We gotta fix this. What ingredients did you use?
Paige: [in Phoebe's body] I'm not sure. Just please don't tell Piper. She already thinks I'm a screw-up as it is.
Phoebe: [in Paige's body] Hello! Paige, we are in each other's bodies. I think Piper is the least of our problems. Okay, fine. I won't tell her. Now wipe that look off my face.
Paige: [in Phoebe's body] Thanks. God, this top is tight.
Phoebe: [in Paige's body] Yeah, but it sure looks great.
Cole: So, ready to get back at it?
Phoebe: [in Paige's body] Yeah, just a minute sweetie.
Cole: Not you. Phoebe.
Paige: [in Phoebe's body] Uh, sure, sugar. Whatever you say. Lets go work up a sweat.
Phoebe: [in Paige's body] Uh, just a minute. Actually, Phoebe has to stay with me. She has to help me with the potion. It blew up in my face.

"Charmed: Carpe Demon (#7.14)" (2005)
Drake: You saved me?
Phoebe Halliwell: Of course. What would you expect from Maid Marian?
Paige Matthews: And your merry men.
Piper Halliwell: Women.

Miss Donovan: I had a great rapport with the last literature professor.
Paige Matthews: You hated that little gnome, arguing with him five minutes before he was killed.
Miss Donovan: Well, that was our way.

Paige Matthews: The Book has been tricked before. So have we. Just recently, as a matter of fact.
Drake: All right, then, that explains it. So what did this mistake cost you? A colleague? A friend? A lover?
Paige Matthews: Actually, all of the above.
Drake: No wonder you're so indecisive.

Paige Matthews: Drake, Phoebe. Phoebe, Drake. Yeah. He's an ex-demon.
Phoebe Halliwell: What? Excuse me?
Drake: I thought you guys had lots of experience with demons who were human. You married one, didn't you?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yes, and divorced. How did you know that?
Drake: Gossip around the office cauldron.

Paige Matthews: You, I'm gonna hire you just so I can fire you.

"Charmed: Spin City (#6.18)" (2004)
Paige Matthews: About what the doctor said. That it's gonna be a healthy baby.
Piper Halliwell: Well, I know he's healthy. I've seen him twenty-two and walking around.

Paige Matthews: [to Piper] No wonder Chris grows up to be such a neurotic little freak.

Paige Matthews: [Piper and Paige are talking about Chris] Well, you never know something could happen.
Piper Halliwell: Oh, don't be such a worry wart. Now you're starting to sound like-
Chris Halliwell: [Chris orbs in] Hey.
Piper Halliwell: Chris.

Chris Halliwell: No, no, no. I was just wondering how it went with the doctor.
Piper Halliwell: Well, you'll be happy to know that you're a boy.
Chris Halliwell: [smirks] That's not what I meant.
Paige Matthews: [looking at the Ultra-Sound photo] I don't see it.
Piper Halliwell: Oh see, it's this little thing right here-
Chris Halliwell: [grabbing the photo] Woah, excuse me! Do you mind?!

Leo: Dammit!
Paige: Are Elders even allowed to swear?
Leo: No... but fathers are - especially one whose kid tries to kill him!
Paige: Well, technically you can't die.
Leo: That's not the point!

"Charmed: A Paige from the Past (#4.10)" (2002)
Leo Wyatt: They would have died anyway, it was their destiny. Just like it was your destiny to be saved by magic.
Paige Matthews: That's how I got out of the car. I orbed out.

Paige Matthews: Oh my god! I'm so screwed, I'm supposed to come back as a ghost, not a ghost with braces?
Leo Wyatt: You're meant to relive the experience not observe it, Paige.
Paige Matthews: Yeah, but I just wanted to come back and sit on the sidelines and make sarcastic comments about my lack of style.
Leo Wyatt: Just take a look around, Paige.
Paige Matthews: Hey, you're right, I was cool even then.

Paige Matthews: It looks bad, I know. But it doesn't turn out this way, I promise. I get a degree in social work, I help others, I even get into Berkley thanks to high test scores and a powerful essay on the death of my... oh, let's just say a powerful essay. Uh... mum and dad, you've got to believe me.

Paige's Father: How do you know what we think?
Paige Matthews: 'Cause I can see it in your eyes. Disappointment. And, okay, yeah, I deserve it, I do. All I can say for myself is that I'm searching and one day I will find myself.
Paige's Mom: Paige.
Paige Matthews: Let me finish. I'll find myself because of you two. You shaped who I am. I am not a bad daughter, you did not raise a bad daughter. I'm good. I just, I wish you could see it.
Paige's Father: Sweetheart, of course we can see it.
Paige Matthews: What?
Paige's Mom: We know you're good. We've always known. But we also know that you're lost and that scares us. And there's nothing in the world we want more than to help you find your way home. We just don't know how.

"Charmed: Cat House (#5.18)" (2003)
Phoebe Halliwell: Wait a minute, you just said something.
Paige Matthews: I did. Was it smart?

Paige Matthews: Eww. You hit on Leo?
[in the past]

Phoebe Halliwell: Well, if it makes you feel any better, you didn't miss much with me. I'm pretty much the exact same person I was back then.
Paige Matthews: Yeah, right.
Phoebe Halliwell: No, I'm serious. I mean, I have a job now and that's good. But, you know, I'm still living at home, I'm still single. The only real difference is that I'm five years older. I need to use more expensive night cream.

Phoebe Halliwell: I was under a spell. Evil.
Paige Matthews: Evil? You were blonde!

"Charmed: A Witch's Tail: Part 1 (#5.1)" (2002)
Paige Matthews: It's official. Phoebe's on the run.
Leo Wyatt: On the swim, technically.

Phoebe Halliwell: Could someone please get me to the ocean before I SUFFICATE? I need some water.
Paige Matthews: You want water? I'll get you some water.
[Phoebe is thrown in a bathtub]
Phoebe Halliwell: You are holding me hostage.
Paige Matthews: Yep, looks like it.
Phoebe Halliwell: Look, I am not a common goldfish. I cannot ignore the call of the sea.
Paige Matthews: Well, the call of the common bathtub is just going to have to do.
[Phoebe splahes Paige with water]

[talking about Phoebe]
Bob Cowan: What, is she lost at sea?
Paige Matthews: Uh, you could say that.

Craig Wilson: Who are you people?
Paige Matthews: Witch.
Leo Wyatt: Angel.
Phoebe Halliwell: Mermaid.
Paige Matthews: Don't you mean witch?

"Charmed: Charmed Again: Part 1 (#4.1)" (2001)
Paige Matthews: I'm so sorry for your loss.
Phoebe Halliwell: Thank you. How did you know Prue? From work?
Paige Matthews: No. Just from around, you know.
Phoebe Halliwell: Have we met before?
Paige Matthews: No. I don't... I don't think so. Anyway, my condolences.
Phoebe Halliwell: Thank you.
[Phoebe sees Paige's death as Paige runs off]

Paige Matthews: What have you guys turned me into?
[Paige runs out of the attic]

Paige Matthews: The door was open. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here.
Phoebe Halliwell: No, no, no. We were just coming to look for you.
Paige Matthews: You were?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yep. Come on in. Welcome. I'm Phoebe. And this is...
Piper Halliwell: Piper. I know. I've been to your club. Pretty great.
Piper Halliwell: Thank you. And you are?
Paige Matthews: Paige. My name is Paige.
Phoebe Halliwell: Hmm. Another P. Imagine that.
Piper Halliwell: It's nice to meet you.
[Piper shakes Paige's hand. Once all three sisters are touching they are surrounded by a bright blue light]
Paige Matthews: Okay. What was that?
Leo: I think that means you're supposed to be here.

"Charmed: Once in a Blue Moon (#7.6)" (2004)
Paige: Do you think we should put some snacks in the cage?
Phoebe: Like what, a wildebeest?
Piper: Please don't say beast.
Paige: No, I'm just saying we don't know how long we're gonna be in here. What if I get hungry?
Piper: Well, then we'll have Leo throw us Whitelighter. Don't worry about it.

Kyle Brody: [Paige accidentally orbs in front of Brody] Can you do that whenever you want to?
Paige: Yeah. And apparently when I don't want. Piper's gonna kill me.

Marcus: Wait, you're not ready yet? You're still working on the vanquishing potion?
Paige: I'm refining it.
Marcus: But you called me down here an hour ago!
Paige: Because we don't know when they're gonna attack.
Marcus: You mean maul me.
Phoebe: Alright, you know what? For a Whitelighter you are really wimpy.
Paige: [Whispers] That's why they sent him.
Marcus: I heard that.

"Charmed: Kill Billie: Vol.1 (#8.6)" (2005)
Phoebe: I'm pregnant.
Paige: Dex?
Phoebe: No some guy I met at a gas station... yes, of course, Dex.

Piper: Fine, but if you get caught on tape I will vanquish you.
Billie Jenkins: [laughs, thinking Piper's joking]
[To Paige]
Billie Jenkins: She's serious?
Paige: [shrugs] Ah, just don't get caught.

[Piper is aggressively carving out a jack-o-lantern for Halloween]
Paige: Dang, what'd that pumpkin ever do to you?
Piper: Nothing. I'm venting.

"Charmed: Witchness Protection (#7.10)" (2004)
Phoebe: Paige. Demon. No active power. Do something!
Paige Matthews: Mirror!
[Mirror orbs of the wall, the Seer dodges and it crazhes to the floor]
The Seer/Kiera: Is that my bad luck or yours?

Paige Matthews: That's Kyle. Get upstairs.
The Seer/Kiera: Relax, relax. Everything's gonna be great, and later, everything's gonna be really, really great.
Paige Matthews: Really?
The Seer/Kiera: ...,Just don't let him eat the eggplant.
Piper: What? What's wrong with my eggplant?

Piper: You know, if you want us to make a deal with the Elders to make you human, I think you need to give us something.
Paige Matthews: Wait. Back up. Did you say human?
The Seer/Kiera: I know, I know. I wouldn't actually have a soul, but I could live with that.

"Charmed: Charrrmed! (#7.4)" (2004)
Piper Halliwell: I think I found something.
Paige Matthews: Huh?
Piper Halliwell: I said I think I found something. What, are you deaf now too?
Paige Matthews: Well, you're gonna go deaf first. Don't forget, you're the oldest sister.
Piper Halliwell: Yeah, I love you too.

Old Paige: Well, now I'm a ma'am.

Piper Halliwell: Leo? Get up here.
Old Paige: Are you two back together? I forget.

"Charmed: Black as Cole (#4.8)" (2001)
[after finding out half-demon Cole posed as a DA]
Paige Matthews: You were a demon *and* a lawyer? Insert joke here.

Paige: Hey I think I got something.
[looking through the Book of Shadows]
Paige: Upper-level demon who likes to kill witches using a athame, sometimes energy balls. His name is Belthozar.
Leo Wyatt: [shaking his head] I don't think so.
Paige: Why not?
Leo Wyatt: Well because that's Cole in his demonic form.
Piper: You knew he was half-demon.
Paige: Yeah, but I didn't know he could turn into that.

Paige: [Leo and Piper kiss] Ahh. That's sweet. You two should get married. Unlike Phoebe and Cole.
Leo: You don't think they should?
Paige: I don't know. I guess it's not my business. Probably just reeling from the fact that Cole killed people.
Piper: Yeah, but that wasn't Cole, it was Belthozar.
Paige: Splitting hairs if you ask me.
Leo: It's not though. His human half had absolutely nothing to do with any of that. It was totally subjecated. Phoebe's right, he's an innocent.

"Charmed: Marry-Go-Round (#4.15)" (2002)
Paige Matthews: Phoebe, every Cinderella needs a fairy godmother. Let me be yours.

Paige Matthews: Why would you save us one day and try to kill us the next?
The Seer: For the same reason. To keep the balance of power between good and evil.

Cole Turner: And perfect
Phoebe Halliwell: For what?
Cole Turner: A wedding.
Piper Halliwell: I couldn't agree more.
Phoebe Halliwell: Really?
Paige Matthews: You've got the rings.
Leo Wyatt: And we're all here.
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay, I do. I mean, I will. Let's go.
Dark Priest: Not two but one, then life be gone. You may kiss the bride.
Phoebe Halliwell: We did it.
Cole Turner: Yes, we did.
The Seer: It is done.

"Charmed: Styx Feet Under (#7.5)" (2004)
Angel of Death: People have to die in the order on my list. If one person doesn't, all death ceases. Now I have to work overtime to collect the souls I've been unable to claim, to undo the damage you've done to the grand design.
Piper Halliwell: Damage? We've done more than almost anyone to protect your grand design.
Paige Matthews: Look, we should leave it. We have a demon to go after.
Piper Halliwell: [Ignores her] We've given up a lot to make sure you have *less* work. I have two kids and a business, and I still find time to fight demons, too. It's not our fault you can't keep up.
Angel of Death: That isn't my problem.
Piper Halliwell: It sure as hell isn't my problem
Paige Matthews: Stop yelling at Death!

Paige Matthews: Oh, no.
Piper Halliwell: Oh, no? What could be more oh, no, than they're taking my body away for an autopsy?
Paige Matthews: Agent Brody.
Piper Halliwell: What's he doing here?
Paige Matthews: Mm, probably watching me talk to myself.

Phoebe Halliwell: What are you wearing?
Piper Halliwell: You didn't tell her.
Paige Matthews: No. Okay, fine. Piper's dead.
Phoebe Halliwell: WHAT?
Piper Halliwell: I'm not dead. I'm Death. As if my life wasn't busy enough already.

"Charmed: Run, Piper, Run (#8.3)" (2005)
Piper: I think the only way to save Maya is to get him to confess to the murder somehow.
Paige Matthews: Oh, that happens before or after hell freezes over?

Piper: Hurry, get the mattress.
Paige Matthews: What if it doesn't work?
Piper: Well, then it was a bad idea.

Paige Matthews: Don't worry, we'll have you out of that unflattering colour in no time!

"Charmed: Size Matters (#4.5)" (2001)
Paige Matthews: Okay, have you guys ever walked by a house and just got a really bad creepy feeling from it? Okay, on my way to get coffee every morning I walk by this house and I get this shiver.

Piper: At least we came for you.
[Phoebe groans]
Piper: Phoebe, Paige and I are here now. We have the power of three. Can you say a spell?
[Phoebe moans]
Piper: Okay. We'll figure this out. Paige, let's go over our options.
Paige Matthews: Opts? We have two.We're screwed and we're more screwed.
Piper: We don't need negativity. We need solutions.
Paige Matthews: Well, I'm sorry. I've never been shrunk and covered in clay before.
Piper: Hey! You wanted to be partners so work with me here. Okay? Are you right? We are screwed.
Paige Matthews: Can't you blast your way out of it?
Piper: I tried. I can't move my hands.
Paige Matthews: I could call for something, but what would help? What's the point of having powers if you can't use them.

Paige Matthews: He doesn't have a belly button

"Charmed: House Call (#5.13)" (2003)
Paige Matthews: I just don't understand what Glenn is doing with such a blonde bimbette.
Jessica: What?
Paige Matthews: And really, who's the surgeon who does those boobs, because they are fantastic. I should get the number for a friend of mine.

Paige Matthews: Careful now. You wouldn't want to fall.
Jessica: [standing on cliff] What happened? Where am I?
Paige Matthews: You pissed off a witch, that's what happened.

Paige Matthews: I convinced Glen to move up the ceremony before that crazy ex of his gets in the way again. Clever, huh? Hmm.
[turns into Jessica]
Paige Matthews: Nose job. Should have guessed.

"Charmed: The Courtship of Wyatt's Father (#6.16)" (2004)
Piper Halliwell: Talk to us about what?
Paige Matthews: Is it my turn?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah.
Paige Matthews: Yeah. Chris is your son.
Phoebe Halliwell: Wyatt's brother. Look, I know this is huge.
Piper Halliwell: No, it's not huge because it's not possible. It's crazy 'cause I'm not pregnant.
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh.
Paige Matthews: Yeah.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yes. Yes.
Piper Halliwell: No, I'm not. I mean, how could that happen? I mean, I know how that could happen, but it... Oh, what am I gonna do?

Paige Matthews: I can't believe how hard it is to get two people laid.
Phoebe Halliwell: Paige, that is disgusting!
Paige Matthews: Well, it's what we're trying to do, right?
Phoebe Halliwell: No, we are trying to romance Piper and Leo together so they can conceive Chris, our nephew.
Paige Matthews: And that's different how?
Phoebe Halliwell: Well, because what you said is very Springer, what I said is very Oprah.

Phoebe Halliwell: Somebody's got a bunch of Darklighters after us and one of them's got Piper and Leo trapped.
Paige Matthews: In the ghostly plane.
Phoebe Halliwell: Or the spirit realm.
Gideon: Same thing.
Phoebe Halliwell: Right. We made contact with them but then we lost them.
Paige Matthews: And we lost Chris too, although we're not sure why because she can tell if Piper's dead.
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah, and I can't.
Paige Matthews: So she must still be around somewhere, we just don't know where.
Phoebe Halliwell: So we need to figure out how to use the Darklighter's portal to get them out.
Paige Matthews: And if you follow all that, you really are a *very* powerful Elder.

"Charmed: Sense and Sense Ability (#5.20)" (2003)
Piper: Read my lips! Is there anything in here that will get our senses back?
Phoebe: Piper, I can't hear you!
Piper: Uh! What do we do?
Paige: [Holding a sign that says:] Kill Monkey
Phoebe: Paige is proposing violence against the monkey.
Piper: Well, I'm inclined to agree, but I really think the monkey is the least of our worries.
Phoebe: Yeah, I didn't hear what you just said, but if you're wondering who's behind this, I was about to look in the book.
Piper: [Thumbs up]

Piper: Where are you? Ow! Who put that there?
Phoebe: Oh, my god! Piper, you're blind!
Piper: Yeah, Phoebe, I just said that. Now can we talk about how a monkey could do that?
Phoebe: What did she say?
Piper: What did who say? The monkey? The monkey didn't say anything. He covered my eyes and stole my eyesight.
Paige: [Paige writes] How?
Phoebe: I think the monkey stole your eyesight when he covered your eyes.
Piper: Phoebe, are you listening to me? That's just what I said. Are you acting like you can't even hear me?
Phoebe: Oh, Piper, it's no use. I can't even hear you. The monkey stole my hearing.
Piper: Oh, he got you, too. Which means somebody sent that flea-infested primate after us. We've got to find Paige.
Phoebe: [Paige claps] Why are you clapping? This is not funny.
Phoebe: What's the matter, Paige?
Piper: Paige? Where's Paige?
Leo Wyatt: What's going on?
[Paige coves her mouth. Phoebe covers her ears. Piper covers her eyes]
Leo Wyatt: I see.
Piper: Well, I don't! Where is Paige?
Leo Wyatt: Uh, she just can't talk.
Phoebe: Excuse me! This is either someone's sick, sick joke or someone's working on a massive evil plan!

Paige: [points paper pad facing Kazi demon, which reads] "Where's our Whitelighter?"
Phoebe: [glances at Kazi Demon, then at Paige] Hey, do you ever think that maybe your Kazi buddy here can't read?
Kazi Demon: I tried to tell her that.
Phoebe: He did?
Paige: [writes on paper pad] "Demons Lie!"
Phoebe: Yeah, but not about literacy. Kazi warriors are base-level demons.

"Charmed: Ordinary Witches (#7.11)" (2005)
Paige Matthews: Cool, Raiders of the Lost Ark. I always wanted to see that. Christmas in New York, nothing like it, right?

Paige Matthews: What? What happened?
Piper Halliwell: Oh you know... Your boyfriend tried to kill my husband...

"Charmed: Scry Hard (#7.17)" (2005)
[as Phoebe and Paige are spying on Zankou Phoebe's phone starts ringing and gives them away]
Paige Matthews: Will you shut that freaking thing off?
Phoebe Halliwell: I'm sorry, but you gotta admire the range, huh? We're in the underworld!

Paige Matthews: What happened?
Leo Wyatt: The Shadow couldn't choose between Zankou's evil or the Power of Three, so it went to the only neutral territory ... me.

"Charmed: The Importance of Being Phoebe (#5.11)" (2003)
Darryl: [after Paige orbs out of jail] You just disappeared!
Paige: No! I put pillows in the bed first.
[Darryl stares in disbelief]
Paige: It always worked at my parent's house.

Paige: [after seeing Phoebe making out with Cole] Okay, we need a plan.
Piper: Okay, here it is... we go home, we vomit.
Paige: And...?
Piper: That's all I got.

"Charmed: Lost and Bound (#4.12)" (2002)
Piper: [after injuring Ludlow] Power of three spell?
Phoebe: I don't have one.
Paige: I did one.
Piper, Phoebe, Paige: The brittle winter gives way to flowers of spring, Ludlow is vanquished.
[Ludlow yells and blows up. Piper and Phoebe are looking perplexed]
Phoebe: What the hell was that?
Paige: It was a Haiku. I couldn't do the rhyming thing.

Paige: Hey, Cole, how's your progress going on
[walks into the bathroom and sees Phoebe standing naked in the bathtub]
Paige: Oh, God! Full frontal Phoebe. Sorry.
Cole Turner: [stuttering] She just flashed.
Paige: Yeah, I got that.
Cole Turner: No, no, I mean she flashed black and white.
Paige: Again? She's like an old TV that's on the blink or something.
Cole Turner: Hey, uh, maybe that's the connection. The TV show "Bewitched", is that in black and white or color?
Paige: Originally, black and white.
Phoebe: [shivers] Brr. I'm very chilly.
Paige: Uh, Phoebe, sit down.
Phoebe: Okay.
[Phoebe sits back down in the tub]
Paige: Why are you asking me about "Bewitched"?
Cole Turner: Because Phoebe was worried about becoming an old-fashioned housewife like Samantha. And that might be fine for some people, but for Phoebe, that could be kind of dangerous. So I'll take care of her, and you need to write the Power of Three spell.
Paige: No, I've never done that before.
Cole Turner: Well, you're gonna have to learn fast, so go, hurry.

"Charmed: Cheaper by the Coven (#7.3)" (2004)
[after Patty reverses the sibling rivalry spell]
Victor Bennett: So how does this work, exactly? You remember everything that happened?
Phoebe Halliwell: [in horror] Oh, my God. Yes. Leslie.
Paige Matthews: [in shock] Oh, my goodness, I tongued a student.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Not a good time, girls. I'm busy.
Paige Matthews: You're dead.
Penny 'Grams' Halliwell: Well, it doesn't mean I can't have a life.

"Charmed: Oh My Goddess!: Part 2 (#5.23)" (2003)
Chris Perry: What can I do to get you two over the hump here?
Phoebe: Try saying this - it always works for Leo - "Your power comes from your emotions."
Paige: Or, or what about this - "Trust the Power of Three."
Phoebe: Or how about this one - "I'm gonna go check with the Elders." Do you actually think he checks with the Elders?
Paige: No. He probably just orbs to a sports bar and buys his buddies rounds of drinks. "Yeah, my wife thinks I'm Up There. Here's to the Elders."

Piper: Apparently it's one of my powers to keep an eye on you. What is going on here?
Paige: Oh, I'm just building an army. I figured what better way to smite the titans than with hordes of demons, right?
Piper: Wrong. All of you, out.
Demon: We answer only to our liege.
Piper: I see.
Paige: They're very loyal. And you know what? I don't know why I was wasting my time studying witchcraft when I clearly should've been earning my general stripes. Hmm.
Piper: I said go! *Now!*
[ground shakes]
Paige: What'd you have to do that for? I had followers!
Piper: You can't have followers. None of us can. Now, come on, before I unleash my wrath on you.

"Charmed: Y Tu Mummy También (#5.10)" (2003)
Paige: This happened way too easy, what if it's a trap?
Piper: Who cares I'm unbreakable dude!
Paige: Dude I'm not unbreakable.

Paige: [Rubbing Piper's stomach] "Mommy"
Piper: [throwing Paige's hand down] "Nuh"
[swiping hand at Paige's hand like a smack]
Piper: "ugh"

"Charmed: Long Live the Queen (#4.20)" (2002)
Paige: She's like Piper light. All the personality without any of those messy emotions.

Piper Halliwell: Phoebe, you heard what he said, he's gonna kill us, help us!
Phoebe Halliwell: Forgive me.
Cole Turner: I'm sorry. It's for the best.
Phoebe Halliwell: I know it is.
[Phoebe kisses him]
Piper Halliwell: Phoebe?
Phoebe Halliwell: I'm sorry too.
[Phoebe traps him]
Cole Turner: Phoebe, no. No!
Phoebe Halliwell: I'm sorry, baby, I'm so sorry.
Piper Halliwell: Prudence, Penelope, Patricia, Melinda...
Phoebe Halliwell: Ashford, Helen, Laura and Grace...
Cole Turner: I will always love you.
Paige: Halliwell witches stand strong beside us.
Phoebe Halliwell: Vanquish this evil...
Paige, Phoebe Halliwell, Piper Halliwell: From time and space.
[Cole is vanquished]

"Charmed: Imaginary Fiends (#7.20)" (2005)
Wyatt Halliwell: Aunt Phoebe, it's me ! Wyatt !
[he hugs her]
Phoebe Halliwell: Wh-what ? Oh !
Wyatt Halliwell: This is so amazing !
Phoebe Halliwell: What, did a spell backfire ?
Paige Matthews: ...How did you guess ?

Paige Matthews: [about vanquishing Vicus] And of course, we've got the added problem of not even being able to see the demon. Only Wyatt can see Vicus.
Phoebe Halliwell: We're just gonna have to bring a lot of vials.
Paige Matthews: And what, just throw them everywhere and hope we hit something?
Phoebe Halliwell: Yeah. You have a better idea?
Paige Matthews: Normally, yes.

"Charmed: The Eyes Have It (#5.6)" (2002)
Leo Wyatt: Since when are prenatal yoga and home-birthing videos your idea of a good time?
Paige Matthews: Since I became a friendless loser with no life.

Paige Matthews: Hey, you know, if he's after gypsies, we should stop by Theresa's funeral. I know where it is. Maybe you can get some sort of premonition that'll help us find the demon.
Piper Halliwell: Wow. Prenatal yoga this morning, and now you want to crash a stranger's funeral? You really do need friends.
Paige Matthews: You're mean.

"Charmed: Brain Drain (#4.7)" (2001)
Phoebe: Is something wrong.
Piper: No. Everything is just right.
Paige: Except my chair...
Piper: Yeah... which, ummm, I'll actually pay to replace.
Paige: Oh God no. It's not your fault.
[Paige pauses]
Paige: Or is it?
Piper: Actually, yeah... it is. I was just upset that there was yet another demon in our house, in our lives. And I know I should stop fighting it and just accept it, but...
Paige: Nah. It wasn't my favorite chair. Besides, it is kinda good to know I am not the only one who struggles with the idea of being a witch.
Phoebe: No, trust me, you are in good company.
Leo: Well, the good news is that you won't have to deal with the Source anytime soon, because Cole hurt him pretty bad.
Cole: Not bad enough though, he'll be back.
Phoebe: So.
[Phoebe rubs her hands up and down Cole's chest]
Phoebe: He's gone for now. First time in a long time. Maybe we should take advantage of that.
Cole: [Cole pulls Phoebe up against him] Why Ms. Haliwell, are you trying to seduce me?
Phoebe: Always.
Piper: Ewwww...
Phoebe, Cole: [Phoebe and Cole race up the stairs laughing]
Paige: Okay... I'm just going to go to the store and get some milk or something...
[Paige leaves]
Leo: [to Piper] You sure you're okay?
Piper: Yeah. I mean, I'm never going to stop wanting a normal life, but I think thats the one thing that actually keeps me sane.
Leo: Well, you deserve a normal life Piper. We both do. And maybe we'll get that once we banish the Source once and for all.
Piper: And who knows. Maybe one day I could have a baby shower of my own. What do you think?
Leo: Well in that case...
[Leo picks Piper up and cradles her in his arms]
Piper: Oh!
Leo: [Leo grins] Need to practice a little.
Piper: Leo!
Piper, Leo: [Piper and Leo orb off in a shower of blue sparks. You hear Leo laughing]

Paige: What happened?
Piper: The freaking furniture just attacked!

"Charmed: Extreme Makeover World Edition (#7.12)" (2005)
Leo Wyatt: Alright, let's split up. We'll find more demons that way. Piper-Paige, Phoebe and me. Any sign of trouble, orb back to the manor, got it?
Paige Matthews: Got it.
Piper Halliwell: Why do you think he didn't want to go with me? Do you think he's seeing someone else?
Paige Matthews: Come on.
Piper Halliwell: What?

"Charmed: Repo Manor (#8.13)" (2006)
Paige: Well, you wanted to live like us. Now you get to die like us.

"Charmed: Hyde School Reunion (#6.17)" (2004)
[after Phoebe's "flashback" at the reunion]
Paige Matthews: It seemed to happen after someone named Paula Marks called her "Freebie"?
Piper: [realizing] Oh, yeah. That'll do it.

"Charmed: Witches in Tights (#5.5)" (2002)
Paige Matthews: Head rush... Let's do it again!

"Charmed: The Torn Identity (#8.18)" (2006)
Paige Matthews: Okay. Did they just vanquish a demon that can't be vanquished?
Phoebe Halliwell: What does that mean?
Piper Halliwell: I think that means we just found the ultimate power.

"Charmed: The Seven Year Witch (#7.16)" (2005)
Suzanne: If you women need a hot meal and a place to crash, there's a...
Paige Matthews: Okay, hi. I'm wearing lip-gloss. Do I look homeless?

"Charmed: Malice in Wonderland (#8.2)" (2005)
Paige: Witches don't wear costumes.
Billie Jenkins: So the conical hat and black cape are everyday wear?

"Charmed: Baby's First Demon (#5.16)" (2003)
Piper Halliwell: Oh, don't be sorry, Paige. You were brave, and you inspired me to fight and you made the world a safer place for our baby. Which is why I would like to give the baby the middle name of Matthew in honor of his super-protective Aunt Paige.
Phoebe Halliwell: I think that's a great idea.
Leo Wyatt: What do you think?
Leo Wyatt: Yeah.
Paige Matthews: Thanks.
Piper Halliwell: And I also have an idea for his first name. Wyatt, in honor of his very protective daddy.
Leo Wyatt: Really? It doesn't start with a "P."
Piper Halliwell: Eh, so we break the tradition.

"Charmed: Muse to My Ears (#4.9)" (2001)
Cole: [the Charmed ones are being inspired by a muse] I think Leo should orb me down to the Underworld. I may not be a demon anymore, but I still know the terrain.
Phoebe: And you may just find yourself in ever-lasting pain!
Paige: ... That was a rhyme.
Phoebe: I know; and now is not the time.

"Charmed: It's a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad World: Part 2 (#6.23)" (2004)
Leo Wyatt: How's Piper?
Dr. Roberts: She's resting comfortably.
Phoebe Halliwell: Is she okay?
Dr. Roberts: We stopped the bleeding, obviously had to perform a C-section, but I think she's going to be okay.
Leo Wyatt: And the baby... Is he all right?
Dr. Roberts: You tell me. Congratulations. He's perfectly healthy.
Phoebe Halliwell: Really?
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh, look, he's beautiful. Baby Christopher. That's your brother.
Paige Matthews: Looks like we didn't lose him after all.
Phoebe Halliwell: Can we see Piper?
Dr. Roberts: Well, maybe just one of you for now.
Phoebe Halliwell: Go tell her we love her. Where'd the baby go? That's your brother.

"Charmed: Lucky Charmed (#5.17)" (2003)
Paige Matthews: [rolls dice at craps table] All right, come on now, baby needs a new pair of shoes, and by baby I do mean me.

"Charmed: Prince Charmed (#6.12)" (2004)
Piper Halliwell: What, What's going on, who is this?
Paige Matthews: Well, uhh this is your birthday present... haha... from me, although you know Phoebe helped
Piper Halliwell: The breakfast?
Paige Matthews: Noo, the muchacho
Piper Halliwell: haha, wait, you what, you, you hired a guy for your birthday?
Phoebe Halliwell: No, we would never hire a guy for your birthday.
Paige Matthews: We MADE him... Magically
Phoebe Halliwell: uhh, you know what this is Paige's present for you, mines the surprise birthday party

"Charmed: Witch Wars (#6.21)" (2004)
Paige Matthews: That explains how the demon knew that a witch had died last night... he watched it on TV. Pretty sick.
Leo Wyatt: No sicker than any other Reality Show.

"Charmed: Sympathy for the Demon (#5.7)" (2002)
Paige Matthews: Prue was this awesome witch with a full-time job, and I quit my job to be a full-time witch, and I still haven't reached her level yet, which makes me feel incredibly frustrated and lame.

"Charmed: Sam I Am (#5.9)" (2002)
Piper: Hey Lady! I'm tryin' to make a good impression here. Put it down! Put it down! Put it down!
Paige Matthews: [takes a bite of what looks like crumb cake and with a mouthful responds] On the nannies?
Piper: Yeah. I want the best. And the best don't work for slobs.
Paige Matthews: We are not slobs!
Piper: Oh really? How come I spent all night cleaning potion stains off of the ceiling?
Paige Matthews: That's gazpacho not potion.
Piper: Well you know what, blenders have lids.

"Charmed: Something Wicca This Way Goes (#7.22)" (2005)
New Piper: What's going on?
Leo Wyatt: What? I don't know.
New Phoebe: Boy, sure hope nobody died in there.
Leo Wyatt: What? Do we know each other?
New Piper: Yeah. I think so. After all we're married.
Leo Wyatt: What?
[Halliwell sisters appear]
Piper Halliwell: Shh, shh, shh. It's all part of the plan.
Leo Wyatt: Plan? What plan?
Phoebe Halliwell: Our plan to die. It's the only way to get our lives back. Our normal lives.
Piper Halliwell: And stop everybody from coming after us, including all of them.
Leo Wyatt: But?
Piper Halliwell: No buts. We're free. Nobody even knows we're alive anymore, not even the demons.
Paige Matthews: They think we died in there with Zankou. They were just our astral selves.
Piper Halliwell: Sweetie, we've got a clean slate. We can start all over again. No more demon fighting ever again.
Paige Matthews: Unless the demons figure it out.
Phoebe Halliwell: Which may be never.
Leo Wyatt: I don't know what to say.
Piper Halliwell: Just say you're okay with it.
Phoebe Halliwell: So we can get the next generation ready to pick up where we left off.
Leo Wyatt: How do I do it?
Piper Halliwell: You don't. We do.
Paige Matthews: Don't worry. We'll make you good-looking.
[they all change into their new disguises]
New Piper: Cute. I can live with that.
Darryl Morris: [Darryl sees three women and one man walk away as one of the women smile at him] Well, all right.
[manor door closes]
Darryl Morris: All right.

"Charmed: We're Off to See the Wizard (#4.19)" (2002)
Paige Matthews: Oh, thank God we found you.
Phoebe Halliwell: It's too late.
Paige Matthews: Hey, I thought only evil could touch that book.
Phoebe Halliwell: That's right.
Piper Halliwell: Phoebe, what's going on?
Phoebe Halliwell: I'm embracing my new destiny.
[Flames out with Cole]

"Charmed: The Lost Picture Show (#8.7)" (2005)
Paige Matthews: If anything turns up, I'll call you.
Sam Wilder: The magical way?
Paige Matthews: No Sam, the normal way. Pick up the phone if it rings ok?

"Charmed: Sand Francisco Dreamin' (#5.14)" (2003)
Paige Matthews: [She's talking with Phoebe by cell phone, about why San Francisco is upset] Besides, everybody in San Francisco is too odd, that's why we fit in so well!

"Charmed: The Power of Three Blondes (#6.4)" (2003)
Paige Matthews: Everyone in the world thinks we're these trashy blondes. I do have to hand it to them, though. They've taken identity theft to a whole new level.

"Charmed: Forget Me... Not (#6.3)" (2003)
Paige Matthews: Wait a second, so you're saying Wyatt conjured a dragon?
Piper Halliwell: Yep, right out of the TV.
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh, you must be so proud.
Piper Halliwell: Yeah -or a little irritated.

"Charmed: Gone with the Witches (#8.20)" (2006)
Piper Halliwell: I'm saying that I they they did to the laeprachasuns what the Triad did to them.
Phoebe Halliwell: Turned them against us?
Piper Halliwell: Twist everything around and make us look like the bad guys.
Paige Matthews: That's crazy. They would never believe that.
Piper Halliwell: Sure they would. Think about our track record with them lately.
Phoebe Halliwell: But what purpose would that serve? I mean, why bother?
Piper Halliwell: I don't know. To isolate us, make sure that we have a little less back-up in our time of need.

"Charmed: A Call to Arms (#7.1)" (2004)
Phoebe Halliwell: [walking down stairs with Paige to see Leo an Piper kissing] Oh! All right, stop it! You just stop it right now! Stop it, Stop it, Stop it! You go over there you over here
[Piper starts slapping her]
Phoebe Halliwell: Oh! Keep your hands to your self!
Piper Halliwell: But your interupting us...
Phoebe Halliwell: ...and saving life as we know it...
Leo Wyatt: What are you talking about?
Paige Matthews: Look at your outfit! Does that seem like something you'd normally wear?
Leo Wyatt: ...well no.
Paige Matthews: [whispers] exactly.
[speaking normally]
Paige Matthews: This
[turns Leo's head toward her]
Paige Matthews: is not the first time we've been highjacked by Gods so, you just have to fight it!
Leo Wyatt: I don't wanna fight it... I havn't felt this potent in years.
[Piper raises eyebrows]
Phoebe Halliwell: Oversharing...

"Charmed: The Last Temptation of Christy (#8.15)" (2006)
Henry Mitchell: I mean, I faced demons and fireballs, magical suitors, orbing... I mean, I think I passed the test, right?
Paige Matthews: What test?
Henry Mitchell: You love me, don't you?
Paige Matthews: Yes, love I you.
Henry Mitchell: Cause... Paige, will you marry me?
Paige Matthews: Yes.
[accepts ring and giggles]

"Charmed: The Fifth Halliwell (#4.16)" (2002)
[after Phoebe invites her sisters to help her lingerie shop for Piper's honeymoon]
Paige Matthews: No. I have to go to the evil place where they keep my paycheck.

"Charmed: Still Charmed and Kicking (#8.1)" (2005)
[Janice Dickinson is led into the kitchen by The Brunette and Brown-Haired Woman]
Paige: [magically disguised as Janice Dickinson] What is the meaning of this? Do you have any idea who I am?
The Brunette: Yeah, as a matter of fact we do...
[the Brunette glamors into Phoebe]
Phoebe: Paige.
Paige: I'm sorry, who?
[the Brown-Haired Woman glamors into Piper]
Piper Halliwell: Nice try. Jig's up.
Paige: Oh, all right then, fine.
[Janice glamors into Paige]
Paige: Well, someone had to cry at my funeral, didn't they?

"Charmed: Nymphs Just Wanna Have Fun (#5.19)" (2003)
Piper: You know, it's like sports. You can't lose your starting job due to injury.
Paige: Vanquishing demons is not a sport, Piper.
Piper: It is if you're good at it.

"Charmed: Freaky Phoebe (#7.19)" (2005)
Paige Matthews: Mitchell Haines?
Mitchell Haines: Yeah?
Paige Matthews: Hi, I'm your new Whitelighter, Paige Matthews. Nice to meet you.
Mitchell Haines: [after a moment of consideration] Not interested.
Paige Matthews: Well, you can't just walk away from me.
Mitchell Haines: No? Watch me.

"Charmed: Love's a Witch (#6.5)" (2003)
Paige Matthews: I know how much you loved him, how much it hurts to have lost him, but you have to let him live. It's the only way for you to move on and get out of limbo. Olivia, please, come away from vengeance and come back to forgiveness, back to who you were. Just let the feud end with life and not with death.

"Charmed: There's Something About Leo (#7.9)" (2004)
Leo Wyatt: You know, you wanted the truth, and I told you. They said you had to come to it on your own. I said you could handle it.
Piper Halliwell: Handle what, that you're what everybody is afraid of, even the Elders?
Leo Wyatt: They're afraid because they don't understand. They can't understand. The Avatars are beyond Good and Evil. They're everything we've been searching for, a life without demons.
Paige Matthews: ...Okay, he's cracked.

"Charmed: The Legend of Sleepy Halliwell (#6.14)" (2004)
Piper Halliwell: [the three heads of the Charmed Ones are sitting on a table] So... who's bright idea was this, anyway?
Phoebe Halliwell: We were trying to save you.
Piper Halliwell: Yeah? Good job on that one.
Phoebe Halliwell: And who went and got her head stolen?
Piper Halliwell: While you were off contemplating your navel, while you still had one...
Paige Matthews: Guys, we are not getting anywhere arguing.
Piper Halliwell: Actually, we're not getting anywhere because we don't have any bodies.
Phoebe Halliwell: Okay, look. We said we were sorry.
Paige Matthews: Can we try looking on the bright side? I mean, you know, we're still alive.
Piper Halliwell: Only 'cause Zachary can't kill us in here.
Paige Matthews: I don't think he would if he could. I mean, he practically apologized to us.
Phoebe Halliwell: I think she's right, actually. I didn't sense any anger from him, just a lot of sorrow.
Piper Halliwell: So, what? He did this to us just to get us out of the way? To do what?
Phoebe Halliwell: To get revenge on the school.
Paige Matthews: And Gideon.

"Charmed: Rewitched (#8.5)" (2005)
Paige Matthews: Okay, wait. I think maybe we should slow this down a little.
Whit: Whew. You're right. I'm sorry.
Paige Matthews: No, I'm sorry.
Whit: Whew. Why don't you tell me a little more about yourself?
Paige Matthews: Well, I. Screw it!
Whit: God, you're beautiful, Jo.
[Paige freezes]
Whit: What's the matter?
Paige Matthews: [Paige sees Jo in the mirror] I can't do this.
Whit: Okay. Okay. Was it something I said?
Paige Matthews: No. Absolutely not. It's not you. I'm sorry.
[Paige leaves]

"Charmed: Witch Way Now? (#4.22)" (2002)
Paige Matthews: How am I meant to distract those guys without using magic?
Piper Halliwell: Well, you'll just have to use some of your God-given magic
[unbuttons Paige's blouse]

"Charmed: Payback's a Witch (#8.12)" (2006)
Billie Jenkins: Do you want me to call for his guns?
Paige Matthews: No, no! You can't use magic. There are cameras everywhere. We can't risk exposure.

"Charmed: Bite Me (#4.18)" (2002)
Paige Matthews: You know, what, Cole? Just bite me.