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Quotes for
Reverend Sikes (Character)
from "Desperate Housewives" (2004)

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"Desperate Housewives: Live Alone and Like It (#1.19)" (2005)
Bree: Andrew, you remember Reverend Sikes, don't you?
Andrew Van De Kamp: Oh, come on.
Bree: Um, Reverend, why don't you, um, have seat, and I will get some refreshments?
[the reverend sits down at the dining room table where Andrew is sitting and Rex is pouring wine]
Reverend Sikes: Ah. So, Andrew, it's been a long time.
Andrew Van De Kamp: Yes. Yes, it has.
Bree: Would you like some water? I have flat or bubbly.
Reverend Sikes: Oh, bubbly, please. So, your mother tells me you've started having some sexual desires for other boys.
[Andrew stares at his mother who smiles back lovingly. Andrew looks at the wine]
Andrew Van De Kamp: I don't suppose I could get some of that.
Rex Van De Kamp: I'm gonna need every drop.

Reverend Sikes: And over the years, we've had so many young people come to our ministry hating themselves for their unnatural desires, and within a few months, they've found an inner peace and a tranquility that is nothing short of miraculous.
Bree Van De Kamp: Oh.
[Bree reaches over and touches Andrew's arm. Andrew smiles back at his mother]
Reverend Sikes: And all it takes is a little faith and a desire to change.
Andrew Van De Kamp: I'm sorry, but I, I really don't want to talk about my sex life.
Bree Van De Kamp: Well, that's just too bad, because this needs to be discussed.
Reverend Sikes: Bree, please, let the boy speak. Go on.
Andrew Van De Kamp: Well, I appreciate your offer to help. I do. But I don't hate myself. So, I'm good.
Reverend Sikes: Son, I know what it's like to be a teenager. It's a very confusing time.
Andrew Van De Kamp: I'm not confused. I know exactly who I am.

Bree Van De Kamp: Reverend, I don't mean to criticize, but it sounds like you're giving up.
Reverend Sikes: Well, we can't force him on the path of righteousness. He himself has got to want to make the journey.
Bree Van De Kamp: Well, then, what do we do, just stand by while he starts dating boys?
[to Andrew]
Bree Van De Kamp: And by the way, the correct word is not "gay." It's "sodomy."
Rex Van De Kamp: We're in the middle of dinner.
Bree Van De Kamp: So?
Rex Van De Kamp: So, can you at least wait until desert before calling our son a sodomite?
Bree Van De Kamp: How you can sit there and be so casual is beyond me.
Rex Van De Kamp: For starters, I knew this dinner was a bad idea the moment you suggested it.
Bree Van De Kamp: Well, at least I'm trying to be pro-active!
Reverend Sikes: Please, there's no need to get upset.
Bree Van De Kamp: I am upset because there is a problem here and no-one seems to notice it but me.
Rex Van De Kamp: As far as I'm concerned, if Andrew is happy with who he is, then it is our job to support him!
[brief silence]
Bree Van De Kamp: [to Andrew] Your father is into S&M.
Rex Van De Kamp: Bree!
Bree Van De Kamp: He makes me beat him with a riding crop and I let him. It's no wonder you're perverted. Look who your parents are.
[Bree gets up and leaves]
Rex Van De Kamp: Excuse me.
[Rex leaves too]
Andrew Van De Kamp: [to Reverend Sikes] What a fun night. You know, we should really do this again sometime.

"Desperate Housewives: Next (#2.1)" (2005)
Bree Van De Kamp: You are no longer invited to the funeral.
Phyllis Van De Kamp: What?
Reverend Sikes: You're not serious.
Bree Van De Kamp: Oh, yes, I am. I am going to hire security. And those security men are going to have sticks and if you so much as set foot in that sanctuary, they will be instructed to beat you with those sticks.
Reverend Sikes: Bree, this is your grief talking.
Bree Van De Kamp: Reverend, if you don't back me up on this, so help me, I will pull the funeral out of your church!
Reverend Sikes: Bree!
Bree Van De Kamp: I am not kidding. I will go non-denominational so fast, it will make your head spin.