Parker Scavo
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Quotes for
Parker Scavo (Character)
from "Desperate Housewives" (2004)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Desperate Housewives: In a World Where the Kings Are Employers (#5.15)" (2009)
Porter Scavo: Ooh, Dad called a family meeting.
Parker Scavo: Yeah, mom he said it's about the restaurant.
Lynette Scavo: Oh boy, I think I know what this is about. Things have been tough down at the restaurant and I think your dad has finally decided to sell it.
Parker Scavo: Wow!
Preston Scavo: Is he gonna be okay?
Lynette Scavo: I don't know, that's why we all have to be really supportive, and you with me?
[all nod]
Tom Scavo: Hey guys, good, you're all here.
Penny Scavo: I love you daddy!
Lynette Scavo: Not yet.
Tom Scavo: I wanted to talk to you all about our pizzeria.
Lynette Scavo: Just know that we're 100% behind you.
Tom Scavo: That means a lot because this was a really rough day for me. I had to let all our employees go. So starting tomorrow, you kids are my new wait staff!
Lynette Scavo: Tom, what the hell are you talking about?
Tom Scavo: You and I'll handle the days and the kids'll join us after school and on the weekends.
Parker Scavo: At the risk of sounding spoiled, a-noo.
Tom Scavo: Come on, we'll love working together,
Porter Scavo: Why? We don't even like living together.
Preston Scavo: You're not even going to pay us?
Penny Scavo: I'm nine, is that even legal?
Tom Scavo: I think so, but just to be sure, you're fifteen, happy birthday!
Parker Scavo: Mom, please do something.

Lynette Scavo: [Penny won't make salads] You're not a baby, you're fifteen, remember?
Penny Scavo: Also, I can't find my band-aid.
Lynette Scavo: Ok, you fill water glasses, I'll make salads.
Parker Scavo: [Brings a check and money] Hey mom, this is for table 5.
Lynette Scavo: Ok, thanks. Uh, you didn't give them enough change.
Parker Scavo: Yeah, I know. i figured this out, you can short people one percent and they won't even notice. If they've got a buzz on, three percent.
Lynette Scavo: Ok, you make the salads, I'll handle the register.
Lynette Scavo: [the twins are fighting over who will wait on a hot lady] Well since I'm the only one who can wait on that table without knocking over the drink with my pants, how 'bout I take it?

[the twins decide to take a break as soon as a group of teenagers come in]
Lynette Scavo: What's going on here?
Preston Scavo: Those kids go to our school.
Porter Scavo: And you know who that big guy is? Kevin McDurmot, the guy called me 'Jesus' for a year cause I wore sandals for one day! If he sees me wearing this, I'll never hear the end of it.
Tom Scavo: Fine, don't wear the apron.
Porter Scavo: No. I'm not gonna wait on a kid who's gonna make fun of me on Monday morning. It's humiliating enough having to work here.
[Tom has a tantrum and slams Porter against the wall, and Lynette breaks it up]
Parker Scavo: [looking shocked] Guys, I just sat a twelve-top, who's taking it?
Tom Scavo: I will.
[they all look shocked]

Tom Scavo: I had to let all of our employees go. So starting tomorrow you kids are my new wait staff!
Lynette Scavo: Tom what the hell are you talking about?
Tom Scavo: I got it all worked out. You and I will handle the days and the kids will join us after school and on the weekends.
Parker Scavo: Um. At the risk of sounding spoiled. No.
Tom Scavo: come on it'll be fantastic! We'll love working together!
Porter Scavo: Why? we don't even like living together.
Tom Scavo: look labor is our number one cost if we can eliminate it we'll start making a profit again.
Preston Scavo: what you're not even gonna pay us?
Penny Scavo: I'm nine is that even legal?
Tom Scavo: I think so... but just to be safe you're now 15. Happy Birthday!

Lynette Scavo: [Preston sees a group of kids from his and Porters school and Porter and Preston decide to take a break] Wow, wow, wow, what's going on here?
Preston Scavo: Those kids go to our school.
Porter Scavo: And you know who that big guy is? Kevin McDermitt. The guy called me Jesus for a year cause i wore sandals one day if he sees me wearing this I'll never hear the end of it.
Tom Scavo: Fine don't wear the apron that's...
Porter Scavo: No. I'm not waiting on a kid who's going to make fun of me on Monday morning. It's humiliating enough having to work here!
Tom Scavo: Humiliating?
Lynette Scavo: Guy's easy
Tom Scavo: No you're not humiliated when you use the money we make here to buy your clothes!
Lynette Scavo: Tom it's fine, I'll take the table
Tom Scavo: No no no no no no no your mother can't wait on this whole restaurant herself!
Porter Scavo: Well then you do it!
Tom Scavo: Porter I'm your father and your boss and I'm telling you right now to go take that table.
Porter Scavo: Or what your gonna fire me? go for it.
Tom Scavo: [grabs Porter by his collar and shoves him against the wall as Lynette gasps] Do you think this is a joke? This is my life!
Lynette Scavo: Tom!...
Tom Scavo: No!
[shakes Porter repeatedly]
Tom Scavo: you're worried about being embarrassed?
[shakes Porter while saying]
Tom Scavo: I've put everything I have into this restaurant!
Lynette Scavo: Alright that's enough! Let got of him! Let go of him! Let go of him!
Parker Scavo: Guys... I just set a twelve top. Who's taking it?
Tom Scavo: [sighs] ... I will...
[he walks off as everyone stares at him looking scared]


"Desperate Housewives: Gossip (#3.20)" (2007)
Parker Scavo: [Parker sees kids painting 'witch' on Mrs. McCluskey's door] What's gonig on?
Parker Scavo: [sees it] Hey don't do that!
Freddy: Why not?
Parker Scavo: Because she's not a witch!
Freddy: How do you know?
Parker Scavo: Cause she isn't! Don't be a jerk!
[the kids start making fun of him]
Parker Scavo: Shut up!
[a kid pushes him down]
Karen McCluskey: Hey you boys, knock it off!
Karen McCluskey: [puts her arm on Parker's shoulder] Parker I'm sorry. Are you all right?
Parker Scavo: [He pulls his shoulder away] Ya know, everything would be okay if you told people what you told me. You can make them stop.
[he walks off]

Karen McCluskey: [Parker rings Mrs. McCluskey's doorbell] Waould ya stop ringing that damn... I'm sorry Parker, I thought you where one of those little pissheads that keeps ringing the doorbell and running away. What's on your mind?
Parker Scavo: I want you to come back and babysit us, the new sitter stinks!
Karen McCluskey: Your folks hired a new sitter?
Parker Scavo: Yeah, and she thinks carrots are snacks!
Karen McCluskey: Well that's rough. But life's like that sometimes.
Parker Scavo: It doesn't have to be. If you just told people what happened with your husband, everything could go back to the way it was.
Karen McCluskey: Parker, see those women over there. Nothing I could say could stop those tongues from wagging. I'm sorry kid but I just have to wait this one out.

[Parker is sitting outside watching Mrs. McClusky wash her door]
Tom Scavo: Here you are. What are you doing outside?
Parker Scavo: Some big kids threw eggs at Mrs. McClusky's house.
Tom Scavo: Oh, jeez, they shouldn't have done that.
Parker Scavo: We should go talk to her.
Tom Scavo: Naw, it's late, she probably doesn't want us to bother her.

Susan Mayer: Oh, that's right she babysat your kids.
Lynette Scavo: Oh, please I don't wanna think of how many times she brought them ice cream from that basement. I mean geez, if you wanna keep your husband on ice, at least have a dedicated freezer.
Susan Mayer: Do you think she actually killed him?
Gabrielle Solis: Uh, yeah. Why else would she have hid the body?
Lynette Scavo: Well so far all they've charged her with is improper disposal of a corpse.
Gabrielle Solis: Once they defrost the body and do an autopsy, i guarentee you their gonna find a belly full of arsenic!
Parker Scavo: What's arsenic?
Lynette Scavo: It's just, it's something yucky. Go and play!


"Desperate Housewives: Bang (#3.7)" (2006)
[Bree hears, on the TV, that someone, female has been shot, and thinks it could be Lynette]
Porter Scavo: Mrs. Hodge, when's mommy gonna be back from the store?
Bree Hodge: I'm sure she'll be back soon, why don't we have some... cookies?
Parker Scavo: Mommy said we can't have cookies before dinner.
Bree Hodge: Well, um, I'm sure she won't mind, come on.

[the twins are making a human pyramid with Parker on top]
Preston Scavo: Mommy, look at us!
Lynette Scavo: I'll look as soon as I get back from the store.
Parker Scavo: [waves goodbye] Bye mom!

[Lynette is on the floor in the grocery store trying to call Tom because a women is holding hostages in the back, at gun-point]
Parker Scavo: [Parker picks up] Hello?
Lynette Scavo: Hello, sweetie it's mommy, I need to talk to daddy.
Parker Scavo: Porter's hogging all the Legos.
Lynette Scavo: Tell them I said to share, now put daddy on.
Parker Scavo: I did tell them, but he says he needs them all for his robot!
Lynette Scavo: Put daddy on and I'll buy you a real robot.
Parker Scavo: [his eyes get wide with excitement] You will?
Lynette Scavo: A big one with laser beam eyes, now go, get daddy!
Parker Scavo: [to the twins] I'm getting a real robot!
[twins shouting complaints]


"Desperate Housewives: God, That's Good (#3.19)" (2007)
Lynette Scavo: [Lynette finds Parker staring into their freezer] Hi buddy, what'cha doing?
Parker Scavo: Nothing.
Lynette Scavo: You seem a little mopey lately, is everything okay?
Parker Scavo: Yeah. Can we go see Mrs. McClusky?
Karen McCluskey: [at the hospital] You guys didn't have to come here, no matter what that CAT scan says, I'm breakin' out tomorrow.
Lynette Scavo: Well Parker really wanted to come see you.
Karen McCluskey: [pats him on the head] Don't tell your brothers, you where always my favorite.
Parker Scavo: [quietly] I saw the man in your freezer.
Karen McCluskey: [Smile fades from her face] Lynette could you run down to the snack bar and get me some green jello?
Lynette Scavo: Oh, sure.
Karen McCluskey: OK, time for a little grown-up talk.
[Lynette sees Parker sitting on the bed with Mrs. McClusky talking to him]
Karen McCluskey: So can you understand now why I had to do what I did?
[he nods]
Karen McCluskey: And you know you can never tell anyone, not even you mom?
[he nods again]
Lynette Scavo: They didn't have jello, so I hope pudding is okay.
Karen McCluskey: Ya know, lets give it to Parker, good boy like him deserves a treat.
[he smiles at her]

Parker Scavo: [after Lynette tells him no to fudgesickles] I told you she'd say no!
Porter Scavo: Mrs. McCluskey always has some fudgesickles.
Preston Scavo: Yeah, but she's in the hospital.
[they all smile]
Preston Scavo: [the twins hold open a window to Mrs. McCluskey's basement while Parker climbs in through it]
[He opens the chest freezer and finds some melted fudgesickles, but gets a wide-eyed look on his face when he sees a mans body]
Preston Scavo: [Parker comes out the door looking stunned] Where's the ice cream?
Parker Scavo: She didn't have any.
Porter Scavo, Preston Scavo: Awe man!
Porter Scavo: There wasn't anything good in there?
Parker Scavo: [deadpanned] No.


"Desperate Housewives: No Fits, No Fights, No Feuds (#3.11)" (2007)
[Lynette is giving dinner to the kids, Kayla walks over toward the TV with hers]
Lynette Scavo: Kayla, where are you going?
Kayla: To watch TV.
Lynette Scavo: Oh, sweety we don't watch TV during dinner.
Kayla: But my show is on.
Lynette Scavo: Well, I'm sorry those are the rules.
Kayla: My mommy let me.
Lynette Scavo: Just this once.
Lynette Scavo: [the twins give Lynette 'What gives?' looks, Parker crosses his arms] Ok, ok, I know what you're thinking, but Kayla's going through a hard time right now, come and sit down. Letting her watch TV is like me letting you eat ice cream when you're sick.
Porter Scavo: But she's not sick.
Lynette Scavo: That's true, but she's sad.
Parker Scavo: [cute or funny] I'm sad, I can't watch TV!
Lynette Scavo: Eat your tacos.
Lynette Scavo: [Kids give each other looks of agreement and get up to go over to the TV] Wow, wow, wow, sit your buts down.
Preston Scavo: It's not fair.
Lynette Scavo: I don't care, we have rules.
Porter Scavo: Well she gets to!
Lynette Scavo: She's special, now sit down! Come on.
Porter Scavo: Does she get dessert too?
Kayla: Of course I do.

Lynette Scavo: [Tom pulls up in the van bringing Kayla to live with them] Ok, they're here, now listen,
[to Parker]
Lynette Scavo: stand up. Kayla has been through a lot so when she walks through the door I want you to make her feel welcome, ok, give her a hug and be really nice.
Parker Scavo: I'm giving her my room, how much nicer do I have to be?
Lynette Scavo: Well nicer than that or she's gonna get all your toys too!


"Desperate Housewives: If It's Only in Your Head (#5.24)" (2009)
[Tom gets into college]
Parker Scavo: I can help you study if you want.
Tom Scavo: I'm not sure how much help you're gonna be. I'm majoring in Chinese.
Preston Scavo: I know how to say "Take me to a strip bar" in Mandarin.
Lynette Scavo: I'm so proud. Porter aren't you gonna congratulate your father.
Porter Scavo: Congratulations on ruining my life. If you see me on campus you're not allowed to talk to me.

[Gaby wonders how Ana got the house clean so fast and then the Scavo twins come down the stairs]
Porter Scavo: We finished upstairs Ana!
Preston Scavo: Anything else you need done?
Ana Solis: They wanted to hang out but I had chores to do, so they insisted on helping me. Aren't they sweet!
Parker Scavo: [Comes in with a brush and cleaning gloves] Hey, um, I'm not bragging, and I don't recommend it, but you could so eat out of your downstairs toilet.
Gabrielle Solis: Ok boys thanks for your hard work but maybe it's time to go home and take a shower. Preferably a cold one.
Ana Solis: Bye Preston!
Porter Scavo: I'm Porter.
Preston Scavo: I'm Preston.
Parker Scavo: Oh, you can call me whatever you want!


"Desperate Housewives: Don't Look at Me (#2.19)" (2006)
Lynette: [Parker is coloring] Sweety could you put the crayons down for a second, we need to talk. I talked to your teacher today and she told me about the cookie deal you made with Cindy Lou.
Parker Scavo: Oh, are you mad?
Lynette: [laughs uncomfortably] No, not exactly, I'm trying to understand why you did that.
Parker Scavo: [Innocently] Tommy Keenan told me babies come from down there, that doesn't sound right to me.
Lynette: Well, actually he's kinda right, he's got the concept down.
Parker Scavo: [Innocently confused] That's weird! How does a baby get in there?
Lynette: Daddy will be home from his business trip in a few days, why don't you wait for him?
Parker Scavo: OK. Or I can ask Tommy's brother. He's fourteen and he knows everything!
Lynette: [Parker looks skeptical as Lynette draws a picture] ... And then the mommy and the dadd because they love each other so much, they hug real tight, and a seed is magically implanted and nine months later a baby is born.
Parker Scavo: What kind of seed?
Lynette: Oh, that's not important.
Parker Scavo: I don't believe you!
Lynette: Parker I'm your mother. Mother's don't lie to their sons. Now go wash your hands or Santa's not gonna bring you anything for Christmas.

Lynette: I talked to Mrs. McCuskey and for God sakes Parker, you can't ask people things like that.
Parker Scavo: Why?
Lynette: [Grasping for straws] Because, it's rude.
Parker Scavo: I said please!
Lynette: That doesn't matter. You gotta quit talking to people about their bodies, and about where babies come from.
Parker Scavo: Why?
Lynette: Because it's not an appropriate subject.
Parker Scavo: Why?
Lynette: Because it's not.
Parker Scavo: Why?
Lynette: Ahh, because it's dirty and wrong and I'll wash your mouth out with soap, that's why!
[he looks shocked]


"Desperate Housewives: Every Day a Little Death (#1.12)" (2005)
[the twins put gum in Parker's hair, so Lynette is trying to scrape it out, the entire time he is in pain]
Lynette Scavo: Well, yeah I know it hurts, but that's what you get when you let your brothers put bubble gum in your hair, pain and misery.
Parker Scavo: Are you mad at me?
Lynette Scavo: Yes, yes, I am mad at you. And I'm also cranky. You know how you get when you haven't taken a nap? Well mommies are the same way, we need our down time and if we don't get it, we end up saying and doing things which we don't normally do. And it's frustrating for me too because I do wanna be the best mommy I can be.
Parker Scavo: I think you're the best mommy in the world!
Lynette Scavo: That's sweet of you but it's not exactly true.
[She gets out hair clippers, he looks scared]

[the lady at the health club is letting Lynette in because she thinks Parker has cancer because of his shaved head]
[Another women who survived cancer asks to hug Parker, and offers him reassurances]
Parker Scavo: [Scared] Mommy, am I dying?
Lynette Scavo: No! You're not dying! People just think that because I shaved your head.
Lauren: You shaved his head?
Parker Scavo: Yeah, my brothers put bubble gum in my hair.


"Desperate Housewives: Mother Said (#4.15)" (2008)
[the kids sneak into Lynette's room while she's asleep]
Parker Scavo, Preston Scavo, Porter Scavo: Happy Mother's Day!
Lynette Scavo: Oh my gosh, that is so sweet, thank you.
[Porter gives her a breafast in bed tray with breakfast on it]
Parker Scavo: We're gonna go get your present.
Porter Scavo: I hope you like turtles!


"Desperate Housewives: What Would We Do Without You? (#3.22)" (2007)
[Lynette and Tom aren't talking at all at breakfast]
Parker Scavo: Are you mad at daddy?
Lynette Scavo: No. Why would you think that?
Parker Scavo: Cause you're not talking to him.
Lynette Scavo: Well you know two people who have known each other as long as mommy and daddy ahve, they don't have to always talk, in fact a sign of a good relationship is being comfortable in silence.
Tom Scavo: That's true, although mommy ignoring me last night at work wasn't exactly what I call comfortable.
Lynette Scavo: Well daddy probably didn't notice that I was unloading twenty-pound bags of flour cause he still can't lift them, so mommy didn't exactly have time to sit around and chew the fat.
Tom Scavo: Well you haven't wanted to chew that fat for five days now. Come on Lynette something is obviously bugging you.
Lynette Scavo: You wanna know what's bugging me? I'm trying to have a lovely breakfast with my family and you're picking a fight.
Tom Scavo: Who's fighting, I just wanna talk!
Lynette Scavo: There's nothing to talk about, OK, just leave me alone.
Parker Scavo: Sorry I asked!


"Desperate Housewives: Getting Married Today (#3.23)" (2007)
Stella Wingfield: [Lynette's mother shows up] Geez Lynette, I didn't know you opened a daycare center! Hey kids grandma's here.
Stella Wingfield: [they all look at her strange] Okay, what'd you tell them about me?
Lynette Scavo: It's been five years mom, they don't remember you.
Stella Wingfield: Well they'll remember me this time, I've brought presents. For you.
[hands Parker a book]
Stella Wingfield: And for you and you.
[hands the twins books]
Parker Scavo: These are baby toys. We're too old to play with these.
Stella Wingfield: Well I'm too old to remember what the hell six year olds like to play with.
Porter Scavo: We're eight.
Stella Wingfield: What do I care?
Lynette Scavo: Just say thank you.
[kids say 'thank you']
Stella Wingfield: [pointing to Kayla, talking to Parker] Who's the pretty thing? Your girlfriend?
Parker Scavo: [looks disgusted] No! She's my sister!
Stella Wingfield: [to Lynette] Oh, is that Toms little B-a-s-t-a...
Tom Scavo: Ok kids, time to get your toys and let's play upstairs.


"Desperate Housewives: Welcome to Kanagawa (#4.10)" (2008)
[Parker walks in while Lynette and Mrs. McCluskey ar cleaning up Ida Greenburg's things]
Parker Scavo: Daddy said you where over here, can I help?
Lynette Scavo: [kisses him on the head] Ohh, mwa, mwa, mwa! You realise we're cleaning, right? We're not eating candy.
Karen McCluskey: That's sweet Parker, but we've got everything under control here if you wanna go play.
Parker Scavo: No, I wanna do something nice for Mrs. Greenburg. She sorta saved my life.
Lynette Scavo: What do you mean?
Parker Scavo: When the house was shaking and daddy was passed out by his asthma Mrs. Greenburg made us all go under the stairs.
Lynette Scavo: But that's not where they found her.
Parker Scavo: Yeah, there wasn't enough room for her. She said she be okay in the corner!
Karen McCluskey: Uh, Parker you wanna help? Ida has some ice cream in the freezer that needs eating before it goes bad.


"Desperate Housewives: Come Play Wiz Me (#3.13)" (2007)
Parker Scavo: [Lynette is looking at herself in an outfit, when she notices Parker in the mirror playing with his foam football] What'cha doin'?
Lynette Scavo: Oh, deciding what to wear my first day back to work. Do I look fat in this?
Parker Scavo: I think you look good in everything!
Lynette Scavo: Wow, you father's taught you well.
Parker Scavo: What about the street fair? If you're going back to work, who's going to take me?
Lynette Scavo: Mrs. McClusky, won't that be fun?
Parker Scavo: No. Do you have to go back to work?
Lynette Scavo: Come on, you and your brothers will be thrilled. Me going back to work is not that big a deal, we're only loosing a little time together in the afternoon.
Parker Scavo: Every hour counts. I miss you all day long.
Lynette Scavo: [She hugs him, kisses and rubs him on the head] Aww, honey, geez. Do you really mean that, or are you manipulating mommy into feeling incredibly guilty?
Parker Scavo: A little of both.
Lynette Scavo: Yep, your father's taught you well.
[He smiles at her]


"Desperate Housewives: Your Fault (#1.13)" (2005)
[Lynette's father-in-law, Rodney, climbs up the ladder to the roof, from where grandson Parker is not budging. He is afraid to climb down despite Lynette's prior attempts to coax him down]
Rodney Scavo: Parker, I got a question for you. It's only one, but it's kind of an important question - a character-defining question, actually. Wanna hear it?
Parker Scavo: Hm-hmm.
Rodney Scavo: Only a little girl would be afraid to come down the ladder. Now, you're not a little girl, are you?
[Lynette looks askance at Rodney]
Rodney Scavo: I'm not looking at a girly girl, am I?
[pouts]
Rodney Scavo: [Tom comes back outside]
Tom Scavo: [to his father, who's climbing down the ladder with Parker piggy-backing] Wow, you got him down.
[to wife Lynette]
Tom Scavo: How'd he do that?
Lynette Scavo: Sexism.


"Desperate Housewives: Now I Know, Don't Be Scared (#4.6)" (2007)
Parker Scavo: MOM! We're gonna bake you a cake when the doctor says your cancer's gone.
Lynette Scavo: Great! Grab this.
[hands him a sack of rodent poison]
Parker Scavo: What's this stuff for?
Lynette Scavo: You know that possum that's been ruining our garden?
Parker Scavo: [Happily] Yeah, me and Preston named him Scruffles!
Lynette Scavo: Don't give him a name, he's not gonna be around much longer.
Parker Scavo: [concerned] You're not gonna hurt him are you?
Lynette Scavo: Honey, I put up a fence and he burrowed right under it. The man at the garden center said these are crafty creatures and there's only one way to stop 'em.
Parker Scavo: So you're gonna kill him?
Lynette Scavo: Sweaty let me ask you something. If you had to choose between mommy's beautiful garden and a gross, mean, dirty possum, what would you pick?
Parker Scavo: Scruffles!
Lynette Scavo: Ok, we're done talkin' here.
[she grabs the bags from him, leaving him looking a little upset]


"Desperate Housewives: Love Is in the Air (#1.14)" (2005)
Karen McCluskey: How old are your boys anyway?
[Preston and Porter look at each other]
Porter Scavo: We're six.
Karen McCluskey: [turns to Parker] And you?
Parker Scavo: Five.
Karen McCluskey: Wow. Your mom just pops them out, doesn't she?
Preston Scavo: How old are you?
Karen McCluskey: How old do you think?
Porter Scavo: 150.


"Desperate Housewives: Mama Spent Money When She Had None (#5.14)" (2009)
[Susan swipes Katherine's pearls to pay MJ's tuition, and Katherine chases her into the street wearing only a towel]
Katherine Mayfair: Susan Mayer for God's sake, give me back my pearls.
Susan Mayer: [Susan grabs hold of the towel] Pearls or towel, you decide.
Katherine Mayfair: You wouldn't dare!
Susan Mayer: I have been naked once on this street. It would be nice to take the heat off that story.
Katherine Mayfair: Have you lost your mind?
Susan Mayer: Mike said he can't afford to pay for MJ's private school, now I know why! He wants to see his girlfriend wearing pearls when she flashes him!
Katherine Mayfair: He wouldn't pay for MJ's school?
Susan Mayer: No. So, I was gonna take these and sell them to try to pay for it and now that I'm saying it out loud, I hear how stupid that sounds.
Katherine Mayfair: I can't believe Mike would do that.
Susan Mayer: Well... he did.
[They hear someone fall]
Parker Scavo: [Smiling, waves to them] Hey Mrs. Mayfair, it's nice to see you.
[she adjusts her towel]


"Desperate Housewives: A Vision's Just a Vision (#5.10)" (2008)
[Lynette decides to have a family breakfast]
Lynette Scavo: So, Parker how's that science project you've been working on?
[Cops ring the door bell and arrest Porter]
Parker Scavo: Guess we're done talking about my science project, huh?
Lynette Scavo: Yes, sweety we are.


"Desperate Housewives: Like It Was (#3.4)" (2006)
Lynette Scavo: Parker, hey, where's your uniform? You've got your game in an hour.
Parker Scavo: No I don't, I quit.
Lynette Scavo: What?
Parker Scavo: I hate baseball! Daddy said I don't have to play it anymore.
Lynette Scavo: Well daddy should've checked with mommy so she could have a chance to tell him why he's wrong. Hey, you're playing!
Parker Scavo: But mom, I suck! Everybody says so! That's why they made up a fake position for me!
Lynette Scavo: It's not fake. There's not a team I know that can get along without their back-up far right fielder! OK, come on, let's go practice.
Parker Scavo: [disgrunteled] Ohh!


"Desperate Housewives: The Gun Song (#4.16)" (2008)
Parker Scavo: Since when do you make waffles?
Lynette: Well Kayla loves waffles, and since she and I have been having some problems lately, I'm doing something nice for her.


"Desperate Housewives: We're So Happy You're So Happy (#5.2)" (2008)
[Lynette, not satisfied with Porter's unwillingness to discuss a possible frienship with a drug dealer at school,enters Parker's room]
Lynette Scavo: Hey Parker, can I ask you something? Just between us, does Porter hang out with Jimmy Kimrado?
Parker Scavo: I don't know, I could check his friends list on Silverfizz.
Lynette Scavo: His what on what?
Parker Scavo: [logs on to Porter's page] It's like MySpace, you have a webpage. It shows your hobbies, your favorite music, and you can talk to people.
Lynette Scavo: Really? Can anyone talk to him?
Parker Scavo: Yeah, he just has to invite you.
Lynette Scavo: And, uh, how would somebody make that happen?
[Parker looks at her curiously]


"Desperate Housewives: Remember: Part 1 (#2.23)" (2006)
[Lynette, the twins and Parker are at a hotel pool]
Parker Scavo: Where's daddy? I want to show him my dive.
Lynette Scavo: He's not coming, why don't you show me?
[Parker walks toward the deeper end of the pool, looking sad and disappointed]


"Desperate Housewives: Sweetheart, I Have to Confess (#3.6)" (2006)
Parker Scavo: How long will daddy be gone?
Lynette Scavo: Well that sorta depends on daddy.
Porter Scavo: Are you two mad at each other?
Lynette Scavo: Yeah, a little, but that's okay. We still love each other very much, but like kids, sometimes grown-ups throw tantrums and need a time-out.
Preston Scavo: Why can't he take a time-out in his room?
Lynette Scavo: Cause he decided to take it in his pizza place.
Parker Scavo: [Being cute, while petting his dog] No fair that sounds fun!
Lynette Scavo: Not this pizza place, it's a rat hole. But once your dad comes to his senses and stops being petulant, he'll come home.
Porter Scavo: What's petulant?
Lynette Scavo: It means childish, stubborn, careless with my money and your future's.
Preston Scavo: Huh?
Lynette Scavo: It's a grown-up word, and when daddy comes home, he'll learn a new one: grovel!