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Dr. Abby Barnes
: If I was a guy, I think women would, like, line up to go out with me. I'm smart. I have a good sense of humor. I make a great living. Noelle
: I'd fuck you. Dr. Abby Barnes
: Thank you, honey. I know you would.
: You and I combined make the perfect woman Dr. Abby Barnes
: No. You and I combined make the perfect political prisoner. What we really do well is act self-righteous and starve.
: You gotta have a boyfriend, don't you? Otherwise it's just you and a cat and before you know, 40 candles on your birthday cake.
: What's wrong, Abby? Dr. Abby Barnes
: Nothing that a rooftop and an AK-47 won't take care of.
: What is this? Is this cat hair? Dr. Abby Barnes
: I'm shedding. I'm extremely nervous.
: Disappointment doesn't kill. Dr. Abby Barnes
: Right... rejection kills. Disappointment only maims.
: I don't eat anything so I can look good on the outside, but on the inside, there's nothing.
: Besides, he has this small personal habit that just drives me crazy. Abby
: What's that? Noelle
: He loves *you*.
: Her cheese balls make excellent Christmas gifts!
: Did you ever look in the mirror so long that your face didn't make sense anymore? It just becomes all these shapes. Just shapes. Not good or bad.
: You mean you want me to shove my finger up that turtle's ass?
: Maybe it was all the cake he fed me. Dr. Abby Barnes
: What is that, the twinkie defense?
[contemplating how to reveal Abby's true identity to Brian
: Is your show on today? Dr. Abby Barnes
: Yeah. Noelle
: I'll go to his house and I'll turn on the radio. Dr. Abby Barnes
: And? Noelle
: Have you ever noticed how Superman and Clark Kent are never in the same room at the same time?