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: OK cowboy, I don't know what your trip is, but if this is some kind of a sick game... If you fuck with me, in any way, I will rip each and every appendage from your body, starting with your dick. Capice?
: This dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that is my legacy. Michele
: OK, I don't even know what you're talking about cause of those words, but come here.
: Heather, um, has anyone ever told you that smoking can kill you? Heather
: No. No one. Thank you.
: Well, anyways, are you going? Heather
: [referring to her cigarette
] I'd rather put this out in my ass!
[the secret of her cigarette paper invention
: Twice the taste in half the time for the gal on the go.
: Why don't you tell everyone I said to go fuck themselves for making my teen years a living hell?
: Why are you tormenting me? Why don't you go fuck a sheep, or your sister, or YOURSELF? Braindead redneck asshole!
: Do you live with Michele Weinberger? Romy
: Yeah. Heather
: I just figured she'd be married to Sandy by now. Romy
: Sandy Frink? Heather
: Yes, Sandy Frink! He could barely contain his erection every time she walked by! Why do you think he always carried around that huge notebook? Romy
: The Frink-a-zoid and Michele... I'm sure! Besides, didn't *you* have a thing for Sandy in high school? Heather
: I did not have a THING! I did not have a thing, I did NOT have a THING! I was VERY much in love with him! VERY much in love and there's a difference!
[to customer behind her
: There's a difference!
: There's a difference! I have to go now!
[Heather thinks she's never made anyone's life hell
] Toby Walters
: Since you never got around to it in high school, I was wondering if you would sign my yearbook. And please don't tell me to fuck off, because it really hurts my feelings. Heather
: I hurt your feelings? Toby Walters
: Yeah, all the time. Heather
: Tremendous! That's tremendous! Go get your stupid yearbook, I would be happy to sign it!
: What a waste of a tank of gas!
: Wow, all that time you guys were making my life hell, the A group was doing the same thing to you! I had no idea! Michele
: You know? I bet in high school, everybody made somebody's life hell. Heather
: Nope, sorry, never had the opportunity. Michele
: I bet that's not true... Heather
: You think? Michele
: Oh, yeah, you were really unpleasant.
: [after the Cowboy says he wants to talk to her
] Okay. What the hell! What is your name? Cowboy
: Clarence. Heather
: I like your hat, Clarence. Pick up the pace!
: [reading the customer paperwork
] Heather? Heather Mooney? From Sagebrush High in Tuscon? Heather
: [disinterested yet quietly anxious
] Yeah? Romy
] It's Romy! Romy White! Heather
: [disinterestedly taking a drag from her cigarette
] You're shittin' me. Romy
: No! This is so weird - I didn't know you were living in L.A. Heather
: Well, now that you know, will we be getting together a lot?
: [attempting to light a cigarette, turns and sees the cowboy offering her a light
] Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph, what do you want? Cowboy
: You were right, I was a brain dead redneck asshole. Though I never screwed a sheep or my sister. Heather
: Why not, couldn't catch 'em?