Todd Wolfhouse
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Quotes for
Todd Wolfhouse (Character)
from Beerfest (2006)

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Beerfest (2006)
Todd Wolfhouse: We've got to go back and get grandpa's ashes.
Jan Wolfhouse: You go, I'm never leaving this place.

Todd Wolfhouse: Jim Tobleson said they called in a hostage negotiator
Landfill: Jim Tobleson's a fucking Chatty Cathy! I did my three years up at the county pen. Made some friends, went Muslim. Now I'm out, praise Allah.

Gunter: [about Johan] He then fled to America with his mother, a common Bavarian... what is word I'm looking for? WHORE!
Todd Wolfhouse: Gam Gam a whore? I think something must have been lost in the translation.
Gunter: HOOKER! PROSTITUTE! SLUT FOR MONEY!

Barry Badrinath: Hey Todd. About the old girlfriend. Can we bury the hatchet, buddy?
Todd Wolfhouse: I don't know.
Barry Badrinath: I mean it was a one night stand, right? I mean she wasn't even that good looking. A real dead fish, right? She just laid there and took it like a plastic fuck doll.
Todd Wolfhouse: I happened to have MARRIED that plastic fuck doll!

Todd Wolfhouse: [after trying the beer] What's wrong?
Jan Wolfhouse: This means Great Gam Gam really was a whore.
Todd Wolfhouse: [thinks about it for a second, then runs off with his ears covererd] LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA...

Todd Wolfhouse: [to Germans during a beer pong match] Loser takes a paddle up the ass.

Todd Wolfhouse: Steve's got the eye of the Jew.

Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Somehow I cloned a batch of monkey frogs.
Todd Wolfhouse: They hand out Nobel prizes for stuff like that?
Jan Wolfhouse: Let me see that, let me see you little...
[looking in to the bag, monkey frog screams]
Jan Wolfhouse: Oh my god!
Todd Wolfhouse: Oh my god, what have you done?

Todd Wolfhouse: This is that moment that only exists in sports - where the coach gives a speech on the jumbotrom to get the hometown fans fired up! We're the bad guys and they're the good guys, and I'll be damned if we let the good guys win!
Barry Badrinath: Uh, we're the good guys and they're the bad guys...

Jan Wolfhouse: So what else do the Germans do?
Great Gam Gam: They also practice by drinking the urine of a ram.
Todd Wolfhouse: The - the what?
Great Gam Gam: They drink ram's piss.
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Because of the pH balance?
Great Gam Gam: No... because if you can drink ram's piss, fuck, you can drink almost anything.
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: She said "fuck."