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Quotes for
Fink (Character)
from Beerfest (2006)

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Beerfest (2006)
Barry Badrinath: It's $10 for a BJ, $12 for an HJ, $15 for a ZJ...
Landfill: [Interrupting] What's a ZJ?
Barry Badrinath: If you have to ask, you can't afford it.
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: [Trying to persuade Landfill] I've got $4.

Steve "Fink" Finklestein: I'll show you how to chug a beer, motherfucker, you fat fuckin' cow. L'Chaim!
[proceeds to drink a half-empty pitcher]
Landfill: Uh oh! I think somebody's trying to chug in my face!

Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Come on, guys. I'm a respected member of the scientific community. I've been published in four journals.
Landfill: Which one? Toad Load Weekly?

Barry Badrinath: [after drinking Ram's piss] Oh man, that's the most disgusting thing I've ever drank.
Landfill: I doubt that very much, playboy
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: I'm gonna puke! Hey guys... I don't think sitting on a rooftop drinking ram's piss is the way to go. We should get out there, and mix it up with some randoms.
Barry Badrinath: Yeah.
Landfill: Let's get bombed!
[everyone cheers]

Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Drunken recall. I gave my subjects massive quantities of alcohol and then I taught them things while they were blacked out. When they woke up the next morning, they couldn't remember anything. But when I got them drunk again, they remembered everything that I taught them the night before. I got it published.
Landfill: Where?
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: In Maxim Magazine under the tile of "E=MC Hammered".

Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Look at the size of that graduated cylinder!

Barry Badrinath: I was in Thailand playing ping-pong in Ding-Dang. A high stakes game in some opium den. Turns out, these aren't the types of guys who like to lose. When I beat them, they beat me. They worked me over good. And this is hard to say. They held me down and shoved a ping-pong paddle up my ass.
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Ah geeze Barry! I don't know what I'd do if someone shoved a paddle-handle up my ass!
Barry Badrinath: It wasn't the handle! I've been shitting pancakes ever since!
Great Gam Gam: You and I are not so different, Mr. Badrinath. I've had all kinds of things shoved up my ass. But I got over it!

Steve "Fink" Finklestein: I once saw him fart a plum... I was plum surprised.

Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Oh that's rich! I've got a cowboy on one side and an Indian on the other! It's like the wild west!

Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Somehow I cloned a batch of monkey frogs.
Todd Wolfhouse: They hand out Nobel prizes for stuff like that?
Jan Wolfhouse: Let me see that, let me see you little...
[looking in to the bag, monkey frog screams]
Jan Wolfhouse: Oh my god!
Todd Wolfhouse: Oh my god, what have you done?

Pim Scutney: You're all fur coat and no trousers, you are.
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: I'm sorry, one more time?
Rog Gobshire: Shove off! We're gonna put the skitters in your Alan Whickers, you plonker!
Barry Badrinath: [looking to Fink] Do you know what he's saying?

Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Nathan Cornwell has just discovered Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. Big round of applause people, big round of applause.

Barry Badrinath: Back the fuck up, Antonio! My dick!... My apologies, now 5 dollars to touch it while I touch my toes, 6 dollars to touch it while I touch your... Hey Jan and Todd... and Fink? Hey looking good, Finky!
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: You too, Barry.

Landfill: If he had it, why didn't he brew it?
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Hebrew?

Great Gam Gam: You two are the rightful heirs to the Von Wolfhausen Brewery. You should have the balls to take back what is yours!
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Wow! You even talk like a whore!
Great Gam Gam: We are all whores in some ways.