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[Miles and Maisey watch Tia make out with her boyfriend
: That's a pretty stupid thing to do during Flu season! Maisey Russell
: I'll bet she's getting the tongue!
: Do you think she hates me? Maisy Russell
: With a passion. Buck Russell
: Really? Do you think it's the hat? Maisy Russell
: No. Buck Russell
: No? A lot of people hate this hat. It angers a lot of people, just the sight of it. Ah, I'll tell you a story about that on the way to school.
: Does anybody have a special story to tell the class about something that happened this week?
[Maisy raises her hand
] Maisy's Teacher
: Maisy? Maisy Russell
: My uncle was micro waving our socks and the dog threw up on the couch for an hour. Maisy's Teacher
: Honest? Maisy Russell
: Mm-Hmm. Maisy's Teacher
: Why was your uncle micro waving your socks? Maisy Russell
: He can't get the goddamn washing machine to work. Maisy's Teacher
: Did you brush your teeth? Miles
: Yeah. You can even feel my toothbrush. Buck
: You know, I have a friend who works at the crime lab at the police station. I could give him your toothbrush and he could run a test on it. To see if you actually brushed your teeth or just ran your toothbrush under the faucet.
[Miles imagines hearing sirens, Buck leaves
] Maisy Russell
: If that's true, we're gonna really have to start brushing our teeth.
: I don't know why we need boys at all. They're so loud. Miles Russell
: [Off screen
] Shut up! Maisey Russell
: Shut up, yourself! Tia Russell
: We need boys, so they can grow up, get married, and turn into shadows.
: They have rent-a-shoes! Tia
: And rent-a-foot disease!
: You always kick me around, I'm an American and I have rights. Tia
: Maisey, do I kick you around? Maisey Russell
: No, but you said 'shit' twice, only once that counts though.
: Let the dog out. Maisey Russell
[their dog Parcey emerges from the dryer
: [struggles to pick a hissing, fighting cat up out of the bushes
] Come on.
[takes it into the house
: Hey who left the cat out? Maisey Russell
: We don't have a cat. Buck
: [takes the cat back out
: Get your bag off the table, people eat there. Maisey Russell
: People eat off of plates. Tia
: Don't give me any crap, Maizy.