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: Who's that? Gil
: It's my kid brother, Larry, your uncle. Don't give him any money. Justin
: I won't.
: [seeing Taylor get pushed around in a school play
] They're hurting my sister! Gil
: He's going! Get him! Justin
: Hang on, Taylor! Taylor, I'm gonna save you.
[In the car after the baseball game, Kevin is singing "The Diarrhea Song" while Taylor laughs
] Kevin Buckman
: When you're sliding into first and you're feeling something burst, diarrhea, diarrhea. When you're sliding into third and you feel a juicy turd, diarrhea, diarrhea. When you're sliding into home and your pants are full of foam, diarrhea, diarrhea. When you're driving in your Chevy and your pants are feeling heavy, diarrhea, diarrhea. Karen
: Kevin, honey, where did you learn that song? Kevin Buckman
: Last summer at camp, Mom. Gil
: Ah, that was money well spent. Justin
, Kevin Buckman
: When you're sliding into first and you're feeling something burst, diarrhea, diarrhea.
: What are you so upset about? Susan
: Nathan, she's weird. She's a weird child. I think a few days a week of preschool could be very helpful. Nathan
: This is not the right age for Patty to be socially activated. We went through this. Susan
: She's not a bomb, she's a little kid who has no ability to relate to other little kids. Nathan
: [points at Justin
] You want her to relate to him?
[Justin currently has his head stuck in the back of a sun lounger
: Help, help, help.
: [reading a book
] The Penal Colony, by Franz Kafka. Gil
: Hey, Nathan, Patty a doctor yet? Nathan
: Mock if you will. Gil
: All right. Nathan
: Our children are more capable of retaining and absorbing information than we are and yet we insist on treating them like adorable little morons. Gil
: What are you saying, Patty can learn things I can't learn? Nathan
: [lays out four cards with lots of red dots stuck on them
] Patty, which one of these is the square root of 8,649? Patty
: [looks at the cards for a few seconds then points at one
[Nathan picks up the card, checks the answer on the back then shows it to Gil. Patty is correct. Gil pulls an expression of disbelief and thumps his head with his palm
: They're like sponges, Gil, just waiting to absorb. Justin
: [picks up one of the cards
] I want this. Nathan
: You see? Take my advice, forget about Kevin and Taylor, it's too late. Work on Justin. Gil
: Actually, Justin is quite bright. In his preschool class, he was the only...
[Justin picks one of the red dot stickers off the card and puts it in his mouth
: Slow down, Justin. I'll get you some dip.