Student 1 at College
Someone's gone to the roof of the bell tower with a rifle!
Dean at College
It's Kevin Buckman! His father totally screwed him up!
Student 2 at College
What's he yelling?
Kevin Buckman Age 21
YOU MADE ME PLAY SECOND BASE!
[Yelling through a megaphone
] Son, I'm sorry. I did all the best I could.
[Kevin shoots the megaphone from his hands
Nice shot, son! It's important to be supportive. Come on, let's sing one of the old tunes. "When you're sliding into home and your pants are full of foam, diarrhea..."