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: He likes to butt things... with his head. Nathan
: How proud you must be.
: Do you really have to go? Gil
: My whole life is "have to."
: What's the matter, honey? You don't feel so good? Taylor
: Yeah. Gil
: You feel like you wanna throw up? Taylor
[vomits all over Gil, and starts crying
: Oh Taylor, baby... Gil, why are you standing there? Gil
: Waiting for her head to spin around.
: I happen to LIKE the roller coaster, okay? As far as I'm concerned, your grandmother is brilliant. Gil
: Yeah, if she's so brilliant, why is she sitting in our NEIGHBOR'S CAR?
: [lights went out unexpectedly and have just been turned on. Gil thinks he has a flashlight but is holding a vibrator
] What's this?
[switches vibrator on
: [lights come up, Gil laughs and leaves the room
: Mommy, what was that? Karen
: That was... an electric ear cleaner. Taylor
: It was kind of big. Grandma
: It sure was!
[In the car after the baseball game, Kevin is singing "The Diarrhea Song" while Taylor laughs
] Kevin Buckman
: When you're sliding into first and you're feeling something burst, diarrhea, diarrhea. When you're sliding into third and you feel a juicy turd, diarrhea, diarrhea. When you're sliding into home and your pants are full of foam, diarrhea, diarrhea. When you're driving in your Chevy and your pants are feeling heavy, diarrhea, diarrhea. Karen
: Kevin, honey, where did you learn that song? Kevin Buckman
: Last summer at camp, Mom. Gil
: Ah, that was money well spent. Justin
, Kevin Buckman
: When you're sliding into first and you're feeling something burst, diarrhea, diarrhea.
: You see, when I met him, I was a little wild, I was a little out of control and he kind of... took me in hand. I liked that. He's very... commanding. He got me into teaching, he got my shit together. Boy, he really turned on. Karen
[changes her tone of voice
: I-I mean, uh, of course. Really? Susan
: Oh, Nathan and I used to be hot. I know he doesn't look it but, I mean, we were like rabbits. I used to give him... you know... oral, you know... on the highway. Karen
: What? Susan
: You know, he was always trying to get a research grant. Karen
: And you thought that would help? Susan
: No. But, I mean, he kept getting turned down and he'd get real, real tense. So, if I saw him getting, you know, really tense, I'd just... lean over while he was driving and, uh...
: Justin's going to go full time next year, so everybody's asking when I'm going to go back to work. Like I'm supposed to. And I'm thinking about it, I mean, I used to like work, it was OK, but... you know, I think I'm better at this, I mean, I think I'm sort of good at it, so... But then people make me feel embarrassed, like I don't have goals or something. Like I sit around here eating bonbons all day, right? Oh, I don't know. Helen
: Well, what does Gil say? Karen
: He says I should do whatever I want. I could have killed him for that.