Ursula Stanhope
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Quotes for
Ursula Stanhope (Character)
from "George of the Jungle" (1967)

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George of the Jungle (1997)
George: Dog eat dog? Dog eat dog here?
Ursula Stanhope: No, that's not what I meant.
George: George never bringing Shep here. Uh uh. Never.

Ursula Stanhope: So I'll tell my dad first thing in the morning.
Betsy: Make that second thing. First thing, I suggest you buy jungle man some clothes.
[George is wearing a dress]
George: Nice butt flap.

Ursula Stanhope: And you can watch TV, and eat, and relax, and I'll be back as soon as I can. Just stay here.
Narrator: Stay here? George is king of the jungle. No four walls built by modern man can contain him
George: Not true. George have every intention of doing exactly what Ursula say.
Narrator: Really? Is that so?
George: For a while.
[grins]

Ursula Stanhope: [going crazy] Why wouldn't an ape read textbooks and why wouldn't I find myself in a treehouse with room service and a Tarzan wannabe wearing a... What do you call that thing?
George: Buttflap.

Narrator: Well, Ursula's fiancè is in prison, and there's a jungle man sleeping on her balcony. She could use a best friend right now.
Betsy: Hi.
Ursula Stanhope: Hi.
Betsy: I got here as fast as I could. Where is he?
Ursula Stanhope: Oh, he's in the waterf... he's in the shower.
Betsy: Not anymore.
Ursula Stanhope: Oh! George.
[sees him naked]
George: Bad waterfall. First water get hot, then George slip on this strange yellow rock.
[sees Betsy]
George: Oh. Hi, George of Jungle.
Betsy: Charmed, I'm sure.
Ursula Stanhope: George, hold this big book.
[he holds book covering his front part]
Ursula Stanhope: Cover the booty.
[puts bowl on behind]
Ursula Stanhope: Let's get you some clothes. Sorry, Betsy.
George: Bye.
Betsy: No problem.
[to herself]
Betsy: Now I can see why they made him king of the jungle.

Ursula Stanhope: And this is Neiman Marcus
George: Ooh! They have big shiny cave.

George: That close one, huh?
[grins]
Ursula Stanhope: Watch out for that tree!
[George looks up and Ursula's head hits branch, knocking her out]
George: Oops.

George: [on Ursula's apartment balcony] This very high treehouse.
Ursula Stanhope: Mmm-hmm.
George: Good place to call friends from, sound carry.
Ursula Stanhope: Oh, no...
[George lets out jungle call]
Ursula Stanhope: ...the neighbors.

[Ursula screams at the sight of Ape]
George: No, no! It's all right! Ape friend! Ape make your breakfast!
Ursula Stanhope: [panicky] What does it want? What does it want?
Ape: "It" wants "its" Physician's Desk Reference, if you don't mind. Unless you'd rather die of dengue fever, of course.
Ursula Stanhope: [laughing hysterically] That is very funny!
Ape: [sarcastic] Ha, ha, ha...
Ursula Stanhope: I thought I heard the monkey talk!

Ursula Stanhope: [on George] Did you just say "love"?
Ursula's mother: [alarmed] No...
Ursula Stanhope: You did. You're right...
Ursula's mother: Ursula... Don't say it...
Ursula Stanhope: I love him! I'm out of here.
Ursula's mother: Ursula! You can't love him! Arthur, say something!
Arthur Stanhope, Ursula's Dad: Be careful out there, honey.
Ursula's mother: [shouts] What?
Ursula Stanhope: Goodbye, Daddy.
[kisses him, then runs out of the room]
Ursula's mother: Ursula, come back! Arthur, do something!
Arthur Stanhope, Ursula's Dad: What would you have me do? There's obviously no stopping her.
Ursula's mother: Oh, God!
[she downs the rest of her drink, then goes running after Ursula]
Ursula's mother: [shouts] Ursula!
Arthur Stanhope, Ursula's Dad: [under his breath] God, that woman's a pain in the ass.

George: Sleep sweet, Ursula.
Ursula Stanhope: Sleep sweet, George.

[after returning from Africa, Ursula phones her mother from a limousine]
Ursula's mother: You're sure you did not catch dengue fever?
Ursula Stanhope: No mother, I did not catch dengue fever.
Ursula's mother: Well, how's your temperature?
Ursula Stanhope: [puts a hand to her forehead] Normal.
Ursula's mother: Color of your tongue?
Ursula Stanhope: [checks it in the mirror] Pink.
Ursula's mother: What about your, uh, mmm-mmm?
Ursula Stanhope: [annoyed] Regular!

Ursula Stanhope: [semi-conscious] Mommy, make that monkey stop talking...

Narrator: Meanwhile, at a very big and expensive waterfall set, Ursula was amazed that she was lost in the wilderness with a jungle man.
Ursula Stanhope: ...and here I am lost in the wilderness with a jungle man.


George of the Jungle 2 (2003) (V)
Narrator: As George gleefully greeted his performing pals. Ursula wondered if she'd ever come first.
Ursula: [to herself] I wonder if I'll ever come first.

George: Sorry George late, but George had important royal duty to tend to.
Ursula: In other words, you were playing coconut ball.
George: And George score winning goal. Maybe sometime Ursula come out and try for cheerleader.
Ursula: I tried once, but the gorillas turned me down because I wasn't pretty enough.
[George kisses Ursula]
George: You look pretty to me.
Ursula: Well, maybe you should tell that to the gorillas.
George: George promise - tonight, spend whole night with Ursula. Okay?
Ursula: Okay.

George: Can George give Junior vine swinging lesson before we eat?
George Jr: Vine swinging's a little dangerous
George: [looks at Ursula] Must be from your side of family
George Jr: Vine surfing is much cooler.
George: What dangerous about swinging? Swinging fun. George show you.
Ursula: Honey, maybe that's not such a good idea.
George: Why? It easy.

Narrator: Meanwhile, back in the jungle, George was taking care of some serious jungle business.
Ursula: George, the sink's stuffed again!
Narrator: Well, kind of serious.
George: Don't worry. George fix.
[they go in front of each other, but George moves her to side]
George: Ok.
[searches sink]
George: Ah.
[continues searching and finds problem]
George: Huh.
[pulls snake]
George: Hey, come here.
[George pulls on snake, but it is stuck in sink. He strains and finally pulls the whole sink out]
Ursula: Oh!
[looks up at George scoldingly]
Ursula: [George smiles sheepishly]
Ursula: [trips on plate] Woah!
Tookie: Aak aak eek eek Tookie Tookie! Aak aak eek eek Tookie Tookie!
Ursula: George, you better answer the bird.

George: George lucky man. He's got Ursula, and Junior...
[coconut falls on George's head]
George: ...and really strong head.
Ursula: Honey, I wouldn't worry about Junior swinging. He's the son of the greatest swinger of all time. How could he not learn how to swing?
George: That make George happy.

[George wiping sink with asparagus]
Ursula: Honey? What's the matter
George: What?
[Sits on asparagus]
George: AAH!

Ursula: Good morning, mother. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't play with George's mind.
Beatrice: Well, there isn't really much to play with, but all right.

Ape: Get her a nice present to help scratch it.
[switch scenes]
Ursula: A backscratcher.
George: To help with itch.

Ape: George, this is Rocky. He's very honored to meet you.
Ursula: Why do they call him Rocky?
[bell dings and Rocky punches George's face]
Ape: Because when he gets nervous, he does that.
George: [in between blows] George... honored... to... meet... Rocky... too.

Beatrice: You remember my son-in-law, George.
Lyle: I do. George, clearly the best man won, but no hard feelings. Shake?
[George shakes whole body]
Ursula: What are you doing here? I mean, last time we saw you, you tried to have George killed, Ape captured, and dragged me off to marry you.
Lyle: That actually wasn't me, kitten. That was the altitude sickness.

Betsy: Hey, don't hog the Choco-Blast.
Ursula: I'll give you the Choco-Blast if Courtney gives up the Funky Monkey.
Courtney: I'd have thought you'd seen enough funky monkeys.
Ursula: I've missed you guys.
Betsy: And we've missed you.
Tiffany: Speaking of things you've missed, you know who's looking amazing? Lyle.
Courtney: You're right. He's such a catch. He's charming, rich, sensitive...
Tiffany: ...and is equally at home with small animals and children.
Ursula: [sees them reading off poster behind them] Are you reading that?
[Beatrice runs off with poster]

[Ursula sees muted picture of Ape on TV]
Ursula: There's something about that ape that feels really familiar.
Beatrice: It's King Kong.
Ursula: I thought King Kong was in black and white.
Beatrice: Would you believe Hollywood? They colorized it.
Ursula: Oh.

Ursula: I can't help feeling that something's missing. That somewhere, out there, something's waiting for me.
[George swings in and Ursula falls off bed]
George: Sorry to surprise Ursula, but George can't take living without Ursula. George madly in love.
Ursula: Look, I don't know who you are, but I'm married. Unfortunately.
George: Right. George Ursula's husband.
[pause]
George: Ursula more confused than George. But no time to talk, Bukuvu in trouble. Must get back. George put Ursula first, then jungle, hmm?
Ursula: Listen, I've never heard of the Bukuvu and Lyle's my husband. Thought I have to admit you are quite attractive, and have these sinewy arms of a god! But I'm one of those old-fashioned types and I take my marriage vows very seriously.
Betsy: Then can I have him?
George: Sorry. George love Ursula more than anything in the world. Ursula mean everything to George.

Narrator: See if you can spot our discreet product placement.
[Shep is wearing sneakers]
George: That's my Shep. Yes, that's my Shep.
Ursula: Oh, the elephant's wearing New Balance.
[faints]


"George of the Jungle: Star Power/L'il Orphan Anteater (#1.8)" (2007)
Ursula: Your precious anteater tricked us into taking baby medicine!
George: Little Shep would never do such a thing!
Magnolia: It's true George, he's *evil*!
George: [sticking his fingers in his nose] George can't hear you! George can't hear you! Also... can't smell you.
Ape: George, take your fingers out of your nose and listen!


"George of the Jungle: Aromageddon/Found Temple of Gold (#1.2)" (2007)
George: The smells are going away - George solved whole problem!
Ursula: But you created the problem!
George: Ah! But, George *solved* the problem! What's George's big reward? huh? huh? huh?