Kitty Forman
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Quotes for
Kitty Forman (Character)
from "That '70s Show" (1998)

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"That '70s Show: Bring It on Home (#5.19)" (2003)
[Jackie's mum has left home]
Kitty Forman: Honey, do you have any idea where she might be?
Jackie Burkhart: Well, the last postcard I got had a picture of some guy with a bone through his nose. What is that, like, Tennessee?

[Kitty and Red think there's a burglar in their house]
Kitty Forman: What if the burglar has Steven?
Reginald "Red" Forman: Well, then we'll try to talk him into taking Eric, too.

Kitty Forman: What kind of burglar robs people on a weeknight? Doesn't he have a job to go to in the morning?

Kitty Forman: What if it's a burglar?
Reginald "Red" Forman: What would a burglar want to steal from us?

"That '70s Show: Over the Hills and Far Away (#5.6)" (2002)
Kitty Forman: Do you have to breathe so much, it's like a sauna in here
Eric Forman: Alright, you heard the lady, no more breathing
Kitty Forman: I didn't tell you not to breathe, I asked you not to breathe as much, there's a difference
Fez: [to Red] For crazy people
Reginald "Red" Forman: Hey Ali Baba, close sesame
Steven Hyde: Red you missed the exit
Reginald "Red" Forman: Oh damn, Eric you're supposed to be watching the map, what are you doing?
Eric Forman: [He holds up the map which he folded into a crown] Making you a crown because you're king of the road!
Fez: I need to go to the bathroom
Steven Hyde: Can you turn up the radio?
Michael Kelso: First down, touchdown!

Reginald "Red" Forman: Before we hit the road we need to talk about the horrible thing that has taken over your mother.
Eric Forman: Oh you mean her change of life?
Steven Hyde: I thought we were calling it the lady parts problem.
Reginald "Red" Forman: It goes by many names, it's a tricky enemy, I haven't been this frosty since Korea and like a Commie it can jump out at any moment and attack.
Kitty Forman: [off-screen] Red, honey.
Steven Hyde: Take cover!
Eric Forman: Retreat!

Steven Hyde: Mrs. Forman, college isn't for me. I do my learning on the streets.
Reginald "Red" Forman: Steven you're a smart kid. If you apply yourself, you can go to college too
Steven Hyde: You don't trust me alone around the house?
Reginald "Red" Forman: See how smart you are.
Kitty Forman: My baby boy is all grown up and off visiting college. I am so frickin old!
Eric Forman: And menopause makes another unwelcome appearance at the dinner table.

Kitty Forman: What a wonderful weekend, we should go away more often.
Reginald "Red" Forman: [to Hyde and Fez] They gotta make a pill for this.

"That '70s Show: Christmas (#6.7)" (2003)
[Red has been assigned to be Santa Claus at the mall this year, and is not at all thrilled about it. He and Kitty are at the mall, dressed like Santa and Mrs. Santa. Bob wears elf costume]
Kitty Forman: [chuckles] Okay, Mr. Claus. Let's hear your best Santa laugh!
Reginald "Red" Forman: [dully] Ho, ho.
Bob Pinciotti: You left out a 'ho', Red. It's three ho's, did you even read the Santa manual?
Kitty Forman: Okay Red, I'm sure you'll do fine. Just remember, Santa is a cheerful, jolly fellow, who never calls a child "dumbass".
[some time later]
Reginald "Red" Forman: So what do ya want for Christmas?
Young Boy #1: I want a slinky!
Reginald "Red" Forman: A slinky? Oh, you'll get sick of a slinky in a day. I'm putting you down for flash cards. Math, that's what you're getting for Christmas.
[the boy gapes]
Reginald "Red" Forman: Next!
Young Girl #1: I want a pony.
Reginald "Red" Forman: Ponies die.
[the girl is shocked]
Reginald "Red" Forman: What you need is a good pair of boots. Go on, keep it moving.
Little Girl #2: I want a flying car.
Reginald "Red" Forman: I did too when I was your age, kid. But then the future came... and took my dreams away. Just like it's gonna take yours.
[the girl gapes]
Kitty Forman: Okay, okay little girl, y'know what? I bet if you're extra good, you'll get your flying car one day.
[Kitty and the girl walk away]
Reginald "Red" Forman: [calling after them] Don't listen to her, it's a lie.
[Kitty turns to Red, glaring at him]
Kitty Forman: [chiding] Bad Santa!

[Red has just finished telling the boy his version of Vietnam War]
Reginald "Red" Forman: ...and that's what really happened in Vietnam.
Young Boy #2: [confused] I don't understand.
Reginald "Red" Forman: [glumly] Neither do I, kid. Neither do I.
Kitty Forman: Okay, little boy, time to say goodbye to Santa.
[Kitty leads the boy away. The boy turns to her]
Young Boy #2: What's an "ambush"?
Kitty Forman: [smiles] It's a pretty bush with yellow flowers.
[Red gets up and approaches Kitty]
Reginald "Red" Forman: Kitty, I gotta tell ya, I'm good with kids. I really taught him something. Y'know, I think I'm beginning to feel the Christmas spirit.
Kitty Forman: Well, I'm glad Red, but let's try telling a Christmas story where nobody gets caught in a fire fight.
[Red turns back and sees Bob sitting in his chair, also dressed like Santa Claus. Bob waves to him]
Reginald "Red" Forman: Bob, what the hell are you doing?
Bob Pinciotti: You're depressing the kids. I'm Santa now.
Reginald "Red" Forman: Get out of my chair, Bob, or you're gonna get a candy cane up your chimney!
Bob Pinciotti: I'm not moving.
Reginald "Red" Forman: [takes off his Santa hat] Kitty, hold my silly red hat.

Reginald "Red" Forman: This mall is only big enough for one Santa, Bob.
Bob Pinciotti: Tell ya what, you name five reindeer and I'll step down.
Reginald "Red" Forman: I can name five toes that are gonna be in your ass!
Kitty Forman: [annoyed] Oh for goodness sake, why don't we stop calling it Christmas and call it Assmas?
Bob Pinciotti: [gets up, sighing] Fine, I'll go. I only got worked up because Joanne's gone, Donna's working. The only people I have at home are my two friends, Egg and Nog.
[Red sighs and takes off his Santa suit]
Reginald "Red" Forman: Alright, fine. You wanna be Santa, go ahead.
Bob Pinciotti: [sits back] Thanks, Red.
Reginald "Red" Forman: Yeah, it's all for the best. I've already eaten about two pounds of fake beard as it is.
[the young boy returns with a cop. He points accusingly at Bob, mistakes him for Red]
Young Boy #2: There he is! Santa's the one that told me communists hate God.
[confused, Bob looks around]
Reginald "Red" Forman: [smiles] Gotta go, Santa!
[Red walks away, without correcting the boy's mistake of identity]
Kitty Forman: Merry Christmas, Bob.
[Kitty walks away]
Kitty Forman: [mumbles angrily] Mrs. Claus needs a drink.
[the cop approaches Bob, who still does not understand what the kid accused him of]

"That '70s Show: Bye Bye Basement (#4.5)" (2001)
Theo: Look. It's art. I moved everything in this basement two inches to the left.
Kitty Forman: Oh yeah.
Theo: I call it "Basement, two inches to the left".

[about redoing the basement]
Leo: Okay, we're all done.
Kitty Forman: But you've only been here a day.
Leo: You know what they say, Rome was built in a day.
Reginald "Red" Forman: No... Rome wasn't built in a day.
Leo: Oh... Your basement was built in a day.

Reginald "Red" Forman: Don't you like anything cheap?
Kitty Forman: I like you.

"That '70s Show: Hyde's Christmas Rager (#3.9)" (2000)
Kitty Forman: Well, I don't quite believe you, but okay.

Reginald "Red" Forman: Kitty, put that out.
Kitty Forman: [Red moves towards Kitty to take the ciggarette] Back off, Grinch.

Kitty Forman: And poor Fez had ice in his pants.

"That '70s Show: Streaking (#1.3)" (1998)
Kitty Forman: All families are embarrassing; and if they're not embarrassing, they're dead.

[about President Ford]
Kitty Forman: You voted for Gerald Ford.
Reginald "Red" Forman: Kitty, no one voted for Gerald Ford.

Kitty Forman: What is it with you young people and Columbo?

"That '70s Show: The Career Day (#1.18)" (1999)
Kitty Forman: Oh, you don't need to see that. It's just a doodle of a body part shoved up another body part for comic effect.

Kitty Forman: Oh, umm, Doctor, you might want to consider erythromycin.
Dr. Ashley: And why would I want to do that... Nurse?
Kitty Forman: Well, it's just that Mr. Harris is allergic to penicillin and I thought erythromycin might make him a touch less... dead.

"That '70s Show: Ramble On (#5.5)" (2002)
Kitty Forman: Click damn it, click!
Reginald "Red" Forman: Kitty I think your lady problem's acting up again
Kitty Forman: No just the clicker is all, it's supposed to click, it's a clicker, that's what it does
Reginald "Red" Forman: I think its time for a nap
Eric Forman: Guys really important, Donna's coming over and I lost the ring she gave me
Reginald "Red" Forman: Eric your mother is having a nervous breakdown
Kitty Forman: The only thing having a breakdown is the clicker, why won't it click! Nothing loves me
Donna Pinciotti: [entering] Okay Eric, Jackie told me you hate the ring
Eric Forman: Oh, oh
Donna Pinciotti: I happen to think its beautiful, that's what a man ring looks like!
Eric Forman: Maybe I'm just not a man ring kind of guy, I mean I like man pants and man shirts
Donna Pinciotti: Why didn't you just tell me you hated it when I gave it to you, just give it back to me
Eric Forman: I absolutely will just as soon as I find it
Donna Pinciotti: What? How could you lose it! I told you it was a symbol of our loving freaking relationship!
Eric Forman: And my losing it symbolizes! How much I love and respect you?
[She leaves]
Reginald "Red" Forman: Eric quick get me compound presses and a bloody Mary, your mother is talking about adopting a communist orphan I need help, move, damn it!

Donna Pinciotti: This entire room is an example of bad taste
[Kitty and Red walk into the living room]
Kitty Forman: Excuse me?
Donna Pinciotti: Mrs Forman?
Kitty Forman: I have spent years picking out every item of this room, surrounding myself with the things I love and the people I thought loved me
Reginald "Red" Forman: Kitty lets take a nap?
Kitty Forman: [To Red] And you have you fixed the damn clicker yet, what good is a clicker if it won't click!
[She throws it on the coffee table causing it to bounce onto the floor and stomps on it]

"That '70s Show: Garage Sale (#2.1)" (1999)
Kitty Forman: [about Hyde's brownies] Well, I know Steven put the special ingredient in.
Eric: I told him not to!
Hyde: [At the same time] Special ingredient?
Kitty Forman: Of course! Love!
Hyde: Yes, ma'am, Mrs. Forman. There's a whole big bag of love in here.

[Red, Bob, Kitty and Midge got high by accident]
Kitty Forman: You know what I love? Fruit cake. All those fruit just stuffed into one cake...
Midge Pinciotti: I jumped out of a cake once.

"That '70s Show: I Can See for Miles (#6.11)" (2004)
Bob Pinciotti: [Bob gives Red a gift] Your welcome big guy.
Reginald "Red" Forman: What's this for?
Bob Pinciotti: No reason I have been thinking about you and how much we have been through a lot.
Reginald "Red" Forman: No we haven't.
[Opens box and finds out Bob gave him shoes.]
Kitty Forman: Oh he gave you shoes. What do you say Red?
Reginald "Red" Forman: [To Bob] What the hell's wrong with you?
Kitty Forman: Or we say thank you very much.
Reginald "Red" Forman: [To Bob] Don't you think it's a little odd for a man to be giving another man a pair of shoes?
Bob Pinciotti: I saw them. I thought they would go nice with your tan pants.
Reginald "Red" Forman: Quit thinking about my pants. My legs and what covers them is my business.

Reginald "Red" Forman: Shoes are an innaprorpiate gift to give to another man.
Kitty Forman: How about when you joined the service? Another man issued your boots.
Reginald "Red" Forman: So he gave me a gun so I let it go.
Kitty Forman: Why can't you just accept the gift because Bob is your friend?
Reginald "Red" Forman: Kitty you don't understand how men work out. We dont give each other presents. We just basiclly ignore each other until we score a touchdown.

"That '70s Show: We're Not Gonna Take It (#6.6)" (2003)
Reginald 'Red' Forman: You told her about the marriage? We agreed never to speak of this evil to anyone!
Kitty Forman: Well, I had to tell a few people because I never thought I'd be able to say "Laurie got married" without adding "and the baby came early".

Kitty Forman: There's nothing like a present wrapped in beautiful paper. It's like Cary Grant in a tuxedo, I just want to rip it off!

"That '70s Show: Romantic Weekend (#3.16)" (2001)
[Bob and Midge stormed in the hotel room where they thought Donna and Eric would be but where Kitty and Red are]
Midge Pinciotti: Oh, Kitty. What a pretty nightgown.
Kitty Forman: Thank you Midge.
Kitty Forman: Could you hand it to me, please?

Kitty Forman: Will Michael's parents be home?
Eric Forman: Yes.
Reginald "Red" Forman: Are they as dumb as he is?
Eric Forman: I can't lie. Yes. Yes they are.
Reginald "Red" Forman: Right answer. That was a trick question. I know they're dumb.

"That '70s Show: Punk Chick (#1.22)" (1999)
Kitty Forman: Have you ever baked a pie before?
Jackie Burkhart: No, I don't really cook much. I was kinda just hoping to get by on my looks.

Kitty Forman: Now Jackie, have you ever made a pie before?
Jackie Burkhardt: No, I don't really cook much. I just plan on getting by on my looks.

"That '70s Show: I'm a Boy (#6.8)" (2004)
Kitty Forman: You have been such a big help, working yourself nearly to death. I made you your special sandwich.
Eric Forman: Awww. The 'Eric McSweety'.
Steven Hyde: It's a regular sandwich, hold the masculinity.

Donna Pinciotti: You're babying him.
Kitty Forman: I'm not.
Donna Pinciotti: Are there crusts on that sandwich?
Kitty Forman: Of course not! Crusts are icky, they make Eric sicky. Oh, my God, I *am* babying him!

"That '70s Show: Eric's Burger Job (#1.5)" (1998)
[Practicing for a job interview]
Reginald "Red" Forman: Stand up straight
Eric: [shaking his hand] Hello I'm Eric Forman
Reginald "Red" Forman: Not loose, firm, not sloppy like a fish, try it again
Eric: [shaking his hand] Hello I'm Eric Forman
Reginald "Red" Forman: Bend into it
Eric: Stand up straight and hold a fish
Reginald "Red" Forman: Don't be a smart mouth
Eric: Okay
[shaking his hand]
Eric: hello I'm Eric Forman
Reginald "Red" Forman: And?
Eric: Eric; And?
Kitty Forman: Maybe you could mention your Junior achievement experience
Reginald "Red" Forman: Kitty they could give a rat's ass about that
Kitty Forman: Maybe your honorable mention for the science award
Reginald "Red" Forman: Kitty?
Kitty Forman: Right rat's ass
Reginald "Red" Forman: Don't slouch
Eric: Wouldn't that go under the stand up straight category?
Reginald "Red" Forman: See that's a smart mouth comment; you're fired Mr Smart mouth! That's how that works

Eric: Dad I'm quitting my job
Reginald "Red" Forman: You're quitting?
Eric: I'm quitting, I'm a quitter and I coldn't hit a cow over the head with a hammer
Reginald "Red" Forman: Everybody quits their first job, it's no big deal
Eric: I gotta say I'm a little disappointed Dad
Reginald "Red" Forman: It wasn't a man's job anyway
Kitty Forman: Red
Reginald "Red" Forman: Come on Kitty it wasn't a man's job, it was a hairnet, name tag, nothing kind of a job
Eric: Well I'm quitting
Reginald "Red" Forman: It's a good thing too, it was cutting into your chores, you did a half assed job on that driveway
Kitty Forman: I think he did a wonderful job
Reginald "Red" Forman: [not looking up from his newspaper] Didn't look wonderful to me
Kitty Forman: [standing up] Sweep it yourself then

"That '70s Show: Baby Fever (#3.7)" (2000)
Kitty Forman: If you don't give me that baby so help me the dryer goes down!

Kitty Forman: Oh, look how sweet this baby is. Just hold it.
Reginald "Red" Forman: Look, Kitty, I didn't touch our kids when they were babies and I'm not touching this one.

"That '70s Show: After Glow (#2.17)" (2000)
Reginald "Red" Forman: We should celebrate! Come on, Kitty, let's get you pregnant!
Kitty Forman: [hits him]
Reginald "Red" Forman: I'm kidding! You know I can barely stand the kids we have!

"That '70s Show: Going to California (#5.1)" (2002)
[Red, Kitty and Eric are eating supper]
Reginald "Red" Forman: You wanna go to California to get Donna?
Kitty Forman: You can't go to California.
Eric Forman: But I have to tell Donna I love her and... that she should be back here with me.
Kitty Forman: Oh, well, that's sweet. I think it would sound especially good on the phone, but don't call till after 7:00, when the rates go down.
Eric Forman: I can't call her. I mean... if Luke Skywalker...
[Red sighs, tired of hearing Eric's nonstop references to Star Wars]
Reginald "Red" Forman: Oh, would you stop! Luke Skywalker this, Luke Skywalker that. I'm sick of hearing about that little fruit.
Eric Forman: [upset] Luke Skywalker is NOT...! He and Leia clearly...! I...
[Eric calms down]
Eric Forman: [quietly] Mom, Dad. This is important.
Reginald "Red" Forman: No. No California. You know what's important? School. You're gonna be a senior, and you need to buckle down.
Kitty Forman: Luke Skywalker would have buckled down.

"That '70s Show: Heartbreaker (#5.4)" (2002)
Eric Forman: Mum I'm really sorry, I know how much you wanted a baby, I 'm not sure what to say mainly because I don't really know what menopause is, are you going to lose your hair?
Reginald "Red" Forman: Shut up, she's not losing anything, from time to time, a woman's body, Kitty explain it to the boy
Bea Sigurdson: I'm just going to get some orange juice
Eric Forman: Mum maybe you should talk to Grandma about this
Reginald "Red" Forman: Yeah we're just a couple of ignoramuses
Kitty Forman: Go
Eric Forman: [As they're leaving] Is it? Is it a lady parts thing?
Reginald "Red" Forman: We'll look it up in the World book

"That '70s Show: Uncomfortable Ball Stuff (#4.7)" (2001)
Kitty Forman: [sympathetic] Oh, your dad's havin' a hard time without your mom, isn't he?
Reginald "Red" Forman: [looks sideways from his paper] Midge was the brains of that outfit?
Reginald "Red" Forman: Oh I'm - I'm sorry, Donna.
Eric Forman: [opens the door to the kitchen; enters] Sorry about what?
Reginald "Red" Forman: You, uh, get Donna bread and cheese.
Eric Forman: [confused] Okay.
Donna Pinciotti: [strokes dress Kitty is ironing as Eric is behind her getting bread and cheese] Oh, this is a really nice dress.
Kitty Forman: I know; isn't it fancy?
Kitty Forman: It's for the Pricemart Ball tomorrow night.
Eric Forman: Oh, right. The Pricemart Ball.
Kitty Forman: [sitting next to Red, who is back to reading his paper] So, who are you takin'? Who's the lucky lady?
Eric Forman: [holding bread; waving it sometimes for emphasis] Well, I decided not to go. Personal choice.
Reginald "Red" Forman: [not looking up from paper] You don't have a date, do ya?
Eric Forman: [Walking over, Donna mirroring his direction] Okay. You know what? It's not about "can I get a date?" It's about this great book that I'm like, halfway through. Plus, you know, I could get a date.
[Red laughs once]
Eric Forman: I got numbers, Buddy.
Kitty Forman: Sure you do, Honey. You're number 1 with me!
[laughs hysterically]
Reginald "Red" Forman: [looking up from paper] You're goin' tomorrow night. And you'd better not go stag, Eric. There's nothing worse than an 80-pound boy dancing with his mommy all night.
[Eric slightly rolls his eyes]
Donna Pinciotti: You know what?
[clears throat and takes Eric's arm to turn him to her]
Donna Pinciotti: I'll go. I told you I would, like, months ago.
Eric Forman: But that was before the... ugliness.
Donna Pinciotti: [ever-so-slightly dramatic] Eric, I'm over it.
[voice of realization; uppity]
Donna Pinciotti: Hey, I'm over it! Oh, I'm - I'm over it.
[Eric's eyes dart to and fro]
Donna Pinciotti: Plus, I mean, last year, they had all-you-can-eat shrimp.
Eric Forman: Well, I mean,
Eric Forman: you know, I'm over it. Hey, I'm over it. Yeah, I'm over it. I was just worried that you might think it was weird, us going out on a date, so, I mean, you know, the - the concern lay with you.
Donna Pinciotti: [amused] Eric, it's not a date!
Eric Forman: It's not. I know. I know it's not a date. It's not a date. It's a... shrimp fest. It's a festival of shrimp, if you will.
Donna Pinciotti: [nods, laughing] Exactly!
Eric Forman: Oh.
Donna Pinciotti: [still amused] I'll see you tomorrow night.
Eric Forman: [laughing] Okay.
[Donna leaves out the kitchen exit and Eric looks after her]
Kitty Forman: See, now, look. My little prince is going to the ball.
[smiles at Red and then goes back to her task; cut to credits]

"That '70s Show: Bohemian Rhapsody (#8.1)" (2005)
Kitty Forman: [Kitty is recording an audio tape for Eric in Africa] Eric! Steven just punched Michael!
[regains composure]
Kitty Forman: And although I am upset with Steven for hitting Michael, it was *very* exciting!

"That '70s Show: Killer Queen (#8.12)" (2006)
Red Forman: [on valentine's day, after getting caught by Kitty] It's more of a vast inventory of love
Kitty Forman: Well you're about to get a vast inventory of my foot in your ass!
[Red looks shocked]
Kitty Forman: Yeah! I can do that too!

"That '70s Show: Ski Trip (#1.13)" (1999)
Kitty Forman: Honey, I put some sandwiches in your duffel bag. Now, um, why do you need such a big bag of oregano?
Eric Forman: Uh... Donna's Italian.

"That '70s Show: Love, Wisconsin Style (#4.27)" (2002)
Reginald 'Red' Forman: Let me get this straight. Donna wanted to get back together and you said no.
Eric Forman: I said no.
Reginald 'Red' Forman: You said no?
Kitty Forman: Dumb-ass!
Eric Forman: Look, I have my reasons, okay?
Kitty Forman: What could they be? What could they possibly be?
Eric Forman: Casey dumps her and comes back to me? Okay, I'm not a rebound.
Reginald 'Red' Forman: So your too proud to take her back? And what do you have to be so proud of? You're not an athlete. The only smart thing about you is your mouth. And look at you.
Kitty Forman: Red... Red, he looks fine. He's just so darn stupid! I'm... I'm very upset.
Eric Forman: Well, stop, okay? Because, I already feel bad enough as it is.
Kitty Forman: Well, you should.
Eric Forman: Well, I do!

"That '70s Show: Stolen Car (#1.14)" (1999)
Midge Pinciotti: So do you wanna come to my course?
Kitty Forman: I can't say I'm not tempted... Yes I can, I'm not tempted.

"That '70s Show: Canadian Road Trip (#3.23)" (2001)
[Red forgot to put a tape in the video recorder, it's still on the table]
Kitty Forman: This tape? How do they get the movie on to the tape when it's way the heck over here, Red?

"That '70s Show: The Relapse (#4.6)" (2001)
Kitty Forman: [talking to a fish in a distorted voice] Um... people really depended on me, which I kind of miss, although I don't really miss the bedpans.

"That '70s Show: Red Sees Red (#3.2)" (2000)
Kitty Forman: [to Laurie] Where do you think you're going?
Laurie Forman: To night church?
Reginald "Red" Forman: Sorry, curfews for everyone.
Laurie Forman: But Daddy!

"That '70s Show: Reefer Madness (#3.1)" (2000)
Reginald "Red" Forman: [to Hyde after yelling at him for taking the blame for Jackie having dope] If you ever do anything like that again I'll kick your ass until your nose starts to bleed.
Kitty Forman: And we love you for it.

"That '70s Show: Winter (#7.11)" (2004)
Patty Ryals: Kitty, these decorations look awful. This isn't your living room. everything has to match.
[walks away]
Kitty Forman: You should've mentioned that to your plastic surgeon.

"That '70s Show: Red's Birthday (#2.10)" (1999)
Kitty Forman: Bob and Midge want to take us out to dinner tonight.
Reginald "Red" Forman: Bob and Midge? Kitty, it's my birthday!
Kitty Forman: I know but they like you and they want you to have fun on your birthday like I do.
Reginald "Red" Forman: If they really liked me they'd leave me alone.

"That '70s Show: Kitty's Birthday (That's Today?!) (#3.17)" (2001)
Kitty Forman: You know I love my family, but sometimes I just want to get in the car and run them all over.

"That '70s Show: The Seeker (#6.25)" (2004)
Kitty Forman: Trade you a kiss for a lollipop.
Steven Hyde: I don't need that kid stuff.
[walks to door with everyone, waits until they leave, then turns around and runs back to Kitty, giving her a kiss and taking the lollipop]

"That '70s Show: Short and Curlies (#7.24)" (2005)
Kitty Forman: I suggested a photograph - not a go-go dancer from outer space!

"That '70s Show: Eric's Birthday (#1.2)" (1998)
Kitty Forman: So, what do you want for your birthday?
Red Forman: Whatever you want. Money is no object, as long as it's reasonable.
Eric: I want a cassette player for the car. A cassette player, not an 8 track. NOT an 8 track. Okay?
Kitty Forman: Why don't they put record players in cars?
Red Forman: OK, Eric, if you don't want an 8 track, you won't get one.
Kitty Forman: Oh, but Red, he wants one.
Eric: No, I don't. I don't want an 8 track.
Red Forman: You'll get a Delco. A genuine GM part for a genuine GM car.

"That '70s Show: Hey Hey What Can I Do (#5.18)" (2003)
Kitty Forman: So, how's the day goin'?
Reginald 'Red' Forman: [smiles] Well, let's see. I interviewed fifteen potential employees: ten dumbasses, four cretins and a momma's boy.
Kitty Forman: I vote for the momma's boy. I think they're sweet.

"That '70s Show: Red Fired Up (#2.24)" (2000)
[the guys are sitting in the circle and talking about Kelso and Jackie breaking up]
Michael Kelso: Ya know guys, there are a lot of ladies out there and I haven't seen nearly enough of them naked. From now on, I'm gonna live free. I'm going to be boldly going where no man has gone before.
[the next seen shows the Forman's front door. The doorbell rings and Kitty answers the door. Kelso is standing there holding flowers]
Michael Kelso: Is Laurie here?
Kitty Forman: [laughs] Don't you mean Eric?
Michael Kelso: No, Laurie. Your other kid.
[Hyde walks by and stops when he sees Kelso]
Steven Hyde: You're dating Laurie? Man, you're going where every man has gone before.
Kitty Forman: [turns around] Steven it is not nice to be so... truthful.
[Laurie comes down the stairs]
Laurie Forman: Hi Kelso.
[notices the flowers]
Laurie Forman: Did you buy those for me?
Michael Kelso: Yep, just like you told me.
Laurie Forman: No, I told you roses! Come on doofus!
[she walks out the door with Kelso]
Steven Hyde: You know Mrs. Forman, those two could have the dumbest babies ever.
Kitty Forman: [starts to laugh then abruptly stops and turns toward Hyde] That's not funny.

"That '70s Show: Baby Don't You Do It (#6.14)" (2004)
[Red, Kitty and Bob are furious at Eric and Donna, for lying to the pastor that they are virgins]
Kitty Forman: [sarcastically] Oh, look! It's Eric and Donna! Did everyone know they're virgins?
[awkward silence. Hyde looks funnily at Eric and Donna]
Kitty Forman: I think I wanna be a virgin too. Hey, everyone! I'm a virgin! Ha-ha-ha! Well, I said that, so it must be true.
Eric Forman: OK, I know this seems really bad, but I've got a really simple way to fix that: just start going to a different church. Hey, how about that one where they sing more and let you marry, like, six people?
Steven Hyde: Hey, Red, tell me the story about how Eric and Donna had to stand up in front of the whole church and pretend to be virgins.
Reginald "Red" Forman: [angrily] Once upon a time, two dumbasses went to church and brought shame upon their entire family, and their father had to hear about it - the whole damn car ride home!
Steven Hyde: That's a great story. It's scary, but it's funny too.

"That '70s Show: Till the Next Goodbye (#7.25)" (2005)
Kitty Forman: Eric, Jackie's on the phone. She wants to talk to you.
Steven Hyde: Jackie wants to talk to Forman?
Kitty Forman: Yes. Now, pick up, because she's been blabbering for 45 minutes, and I never noticed it when she was living here, but she's not that interesting.

"That '70s Show: Can't You Hear Me Knocking (#7.13)" (2005)
Steven Hyde: Seriously Jackie don't you have something to say?
Jackie Burkhart: Like what?
Steven Hyde: I don't know, I'm a spoilt, crazy whack job and I'm sorry
Fez: That's no way to talk to a lady
Michael Kelso: Especially a spoilt crazy whack job, that's likely to get you killed
Reginald "Red" Forman: [entering] Oh my god, there's a hundred morons in my basement! Not even that's going to ruin my day
Eric Forman: Yes only one and one man only has the power to do that, tis I
Reginald "Red" Forman: No not even you can do that and who the hell talks like that
Kitty Forman: Red, honey you were happy remember?
Reginald "Red" Forman: Today's the first day of winter and I'm going fishing
Kitty Forman: I'll come too, I'll grab my fishing stick
Reginald "Red" Forman: I don't want to go
Kitty Forman: Why not?
Reginald "Red" Forman: Because I don't want you to go
Michael Kelso: [using a golf stick like a shotgun] Burn

"That '70s Show: The Crunge (#5.10)" (2002)
Kitty Forman: Maybe this SAT thing is a blessing. It'll make a funny story to tell when Eric's a senator.
Reginald 'Red' Forman: The word you're looking for is "janitor".

"That '70s Show: That '70s Finale (#8.22)" (2006)
[Kelso walks into the living room with a big bottle rocket]
Michael Kelso: Mr. Forman, can I light this off in your house?
Red Forman: Sure and then I'll light my foot off in your ass.
Steven Hyde: And that my friends, is the last foot-in-ass of the decade! Cheers!
Kitty Forman: Michael, I just... it's so good to see you. The girls in the emergency room where just asking about you.
Michael Kelso: You know, it's like I've been gone for so long, I almost forgot you're a hot Mom!
Kitty Forman: Oh! Hahahahaha!
Red Forman: You know what else it hot?... My foot when it's in your ass.
Steven Hyde: Look at that. He got one more in him.

"That '70s Show: Grandma's Dead (#1.23)" (1999)
Kitty Forman: Now Red, honey, I-I don't think that you're really mad at Marty. I think you are just going through one of the five stages of dealing with death.
Reginald "Red" Forman: What are you talking about?
Kitty Forman: There are five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.
Reginald "Red" Forman: I have two stages: anger and drinking.

"That '70s Show: That '70s Pilot (#1.1)" (1998)
Reginald "Red" Forman: [to Eric] If I find one beer can in that car, it's over.
Kitty Forman: And no donuts either.
[Red looks at Kitty puzzled]
Kitty Forman: Ants.

"That '70s Show: Fez Gets the Girl (#3.12)" (2001)
Laurie Forman: Cosmetology is too hard. I'm quitting.
Kitty Forman: Laurie, don't you think I wanted to quit nursing school a hundred times? The first time I put in a catheter, it broke off.

"That '70s Show: Jackie's Cheese Squeeze (#4.19)" (2002)
Kitty Forman: Why don't you just put the car in the garage?
Reginald "Red" Forman: Because if it's in the garage I can't see it from the dinner table. Kitty, don't give advice on things you know nothing about.
Kitty Forman: Ok, *I'm* the crazy one.

"That '70s Show: Radio Daze (#3.14)" (2001)
Eric Forman: People all over the world heard it... people in Canada heard it.
Kitty Forman: Oh honey, people in Canada don't matter.

"That '70s Show: The Keg (#1.6)" (1998)
Kitty Forman: Now who would like a drink?
Bob Pinciotti: Oooh, let's do daiquiris, huh?
Kitty Forman: Oooh, I don't know if we have enough ice. Eric took a whole tubful.
Reginald "Red" Forman: He took a tub of ice?
Kitty Forman: Oh, the kids are making a volcano.
Midge Pinciotti: Right, that's why Donna left with all the plastic cups.
Reginald "Red" Forman: Plastic cups?
Midge Pinciotti: Sure, plastic volcano cups!

"Robot Chicken: Gold Dust Gasoline (#1.3)" (2005)
Reginald 'Red' Forman: Kitty, my iPod's busted! I'm gonna shove my foot straight up Steve Jobs' ass!
Kitty Forman: Oh, hush Red! I'm blogging!
Reginald 'Red' Forman: In Korea, you could get a good 'blogging' for five American dollars!
Kitty Forman: Oh, honey!

"That '70s Show: Eric's Drunken Tattoo (#3.22)" (2001)
Reginald "Red" Forman: Kitty, where's the Band-Aids? Cut my thumb with a hacksaw.
Kitty Forman: Red, you know those things are dangerous.
Reginald "Red" Forman: Well, I tried cutting a metal pipe with a flower, but it was real slow going.

"That '70s Show: You Shook Me (#5.22)" (2003)
Reginald 'Red' Forman: Why's the dog on the counter?
Kitty Forman: He likes to be tall.

"That '70s Show: Crazy Little Thing Called Love (#8.17)" (2006)
Kitty Forman: [Discussing possible retirement activities with Red] Well you know, you could take a trip. When Amy O'Brien's husband retired, they went to see the nutcracker museum in Rhode Island. We don't have to go some place that fancy, but there is that cave in West Virginia I've been wanting to see.
Steven Hyde: That's a good idea, Red. You and Kitty should travel - you know, see the world.
Reginald 'Red' Forman: I saw the world when I was in the Navy. It shot at me.

"That '70s Show: Sparks (#6.22)" (2004)
Kitty Forman: [Kitty takes Donna's wedding dress, which is now grey, out of the dryer] Let's look on the bright side. Maybe grey is a more honest color for Donna.

"That '70s Show: A New Hope (#1.20)" (1999)
Eric Forman: Then they go into this bar and there are all these space creatures. Then someone makes the mistake of picking on Obi-Wan Kenobi. And then he takes out his lightsaber and he goes "whoosh" and he chops this guy's arm right off... 'cause it's a saber that's made out of light!
Kitty Forman: You know, this doesn't sound like a nice movie. Now, "The Way We Were", that's a nice movie.

"That '70s Show: I Can't Quit You Babe (#5.2)" (2002)
Kitty Forman: We are very disappointed in you, Eric. Even though going to California to rescue Donna is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard of.
Bob Pinciotti: That's true. If he had gone by horse, they would have made it a movie.

"That '70s Show: Water Tower (#1.21)" (1999)
Laurie Forman: Oh, for God's sake! Eric saw you guys doing it!
Kitty Forman: Oh, honey. Were your father and I having intercourse?
Eric: [shocked] Mom!
Laurie Forman: Oh, well, no wonder you have been acting so strange. Red, say something to the boy.
Red Forman: Oh! Ummm... It's more fun than it looks.

"That '70s Show: The Kids Are Alright (#6.1)" (2003)
Kitty Forman: And Eric, he needs quiet, so no shenanigans.
Eric: Mom please, I haven't shenaniganned in about six years. I've hooliganned, I've no-good-nicked, I've ne'er-done-well, just yesterday I found myself rabble-rousing...
Red Forman: Will you shut up!

"That '70s Show: Jackie Bags Hyde (#3.8)" (2000)
Kitty Forman: Are any dirty commies less dead because of him?

"That '70s Show: Vanstock (#2.6)" (1999)
Laurie Forman: Good morning, orphan
Steven Hyde: Good morning...
Laurie Forman: That's it? That's all you've got?
Steven Hyde: [waits until Red's out of the room] ... whore.
Laurie Forman: Mom, he called me a whore!
Kitty Forman: Um... yeah.

"That '70s Show: Eric's Stash (#2.12)" (2000)
Eric Forman: Oh, hey, here comes a dumb question. Uh, I wasn't a mistake, was I?
Kitty Forman: Oh, for... for... Okay! Who wants some cocoa?

"That '70s Show: The Battle of Evermore (#5.17)" (2003)
Kitty Forman: Help me with this crossword puzzle. I need a four letter word... for disappointment.
Red Forman: [dryly] Eric.