Donna Pinciotti
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Quotes for
Donna Pinciotti (Character)
from "That '70s Show" (1998)

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"That '70s Show: Ramble On (#5.5)" (2002)
Eric Forman: Well... did you see that? I told you the truth and we got into a fight. My dad told my mom she's pleasant, a whopper of a lie, and they've been married 150 years.
Donna Pinciotti: I don't care. I want you to tell me the truth all the time.
Eric Forman: No, no, you don't. It's like when women ask whether or not their outfit makes them look fat. How many men tell them they look fat? Zero. How many women look fat? Not zero.

Donna Pinciotti: I don't get Eric. Why won't he wear that ring? Plenty of classy men wear rings: Wayne Newton, the Pope, my uncle Carmine from Hoboken. You lose his ring, you wake up in a dumpster! And that's just a warning!

Donna Pinciotti: [first lines] You know, Eric, I'm really happy with our relationship right now.
Eric Forman: Yeah, me too. It's like we're way past the broken up and miserable stage and we're back in the having sex again stage. Yeah, thumbs up from this end, too. Yeah
Donna Pinciotti: I'm serious. I mean, we've been through a lot, and even though some of it wasn't exactly fun, I mean, it was worth it, because now we know we can handle anything. And we don't freak out about the little stuff.
Eric Forman: Right like that time we got into that big fight because I ran over your cat
Donna Pinciotti: That wasn't little stuff, I really loved that cay
Eric Forman: Yeah, I know, I meant the cat was little

Kitty Forman: Click damn it, click!
Reginald "Red" Forman: Kitty I think your lady problem's acting up again
Kitty Forman: No just the clicker is all, it's supposed to click, it's a clicker, that's what it does
Reginald "Red" Forman: I think its time for a nap
Eric Forman: Guys really important, Donna's coming over and I lost the ring she gave me
Reginald "Red" Forman: Eric your mother is having a nervous breakdown
Kitty Forman: The only thing having a breakdown is the clicker, why won't it click! Nothing loves me
Donna Pinciotti: [entering] Okay Eric, Jackie told me you hate the ring
Eric Forman: Oh, oh
Donna Pinciotti: I happen to think its beautiful, that's what a man ring looks like!
Eric Forman: Maybe I'm just not a man ring kind of guy, I mean I like man pants and man shirts
Donna Pinciotti: Why didn't you just tell me you hated it when I gave it to you, just give it back to me
Eric Forman: I absolutely will just as soon as I find it
Donna Pinciotti: What? How could you lose it! I told you it was a symbol of our loving freaking relationship!
Eric Forman: And my losing it symbolizes! How much I love and respect you?
[She leaves]
Reginald "Red" Forman: Eric quick get me compound presses and a bloody Mary, your mother is talking about adopting a communist orphan I need help, move, damn it!

Donna Pinciotti: This entire room is an example of bad taste
[Kitty and Red walk into the living room]
Kitty Forman: Excuse me?
Donna Pinciotti: Mrs Forman?
Kitty Forman: I have spent years picking out every item of this room, surrounding myself with the things I love and the people I thought loved me
Reginald "Red" Forman: Kitty lets take a nap?
Kitty Forman: [To Red] And you have you fixed the damn clicker yet, what good is a clicker if it won't click!
[She throws it on the coffee table causing it to bounce onto the floor and stomps on it]

Michael Kelso: [Kelso's superhero fantasy]
Michael Kelso: [As Batman] Okay super pals I'm gonna need a status report
Steven Hyde: [As a wonder twin, stops making out with Jackie] My sensors indicate peace and quiet throughout the universe
Fez: [As Aquaman] The oceans are secure but I can't check for another 45 minutes because I just ate
Eric Forman: [As Superman entering with Donna as Wonder Woman] Hey guys
Michael Kelso: Oh no, you've been brainwashed and forced to wear this hideous ring
Donna Pinciotti: Actually its a gift
Steven Hyde: Form of worst gift ever
[Holds his fist out to the side]
Jackie Burkhart: [As the other wonder twin] Shape up, I hope he kept the receipt
Eric Forman: Alien zombies are attacking the Earth, lets swing into action gang
Michael Kelso: Hold it, we're still on this ring
Steven Hyde: Are you sure its not an alien artifact?
Donna Pinciotti: I got it at the mall
Reginald "Red" Forman: Greetings dumbasses
Eric Forman: Oh, oh, its Dr Bald
Reginald "Red" Forman: My army of alien zombies is invading, good lord that is an ugly ring, alien zombies get a load of that ring
Eric Forman: That's it, this thing's coming off
Steven Hyde: Careful man, you drop something that big and heavy, it'll throw off the Earth's rotation, we'll all go crashing into the sun
Michael Kelso: Yeah way to use science in a burn

"That '70s Show: Over the Hills and Far Away (#5.6)" (2002)
Eric Forman: You love Marquette and I've made my peace with that so we're just gonna go to different colleges, drift away and make out with guys named Ted because these are things we can't change, you're gonna get menopause and I'm gonna die!
Donna Pinciotti: Eric, I'm not going to Marquette.
Eric Forman: Oh. Well, never mind.
Donna Pinciotti: I loved it there and was so excited to tell you about it but the drive took forever and I realized that's how far we would be from each other all the time so I'm going to UW.
Eric Forman: Oh, Donna.
Donna Pinciotti: Eric isn't this great; we're going to be together all the time.
Eric Forman: You're not going to get all clingy.
Donna Pinciotti: [playfully] Shut up!
Eric Forman: I mean I'm going to be a big college man.
Donna Pinciotti: Ah ha...
Eric Forman: I'm gonna need my space.

Donna Pinciotti: I have a bad feeling about this weekend, going away to different colleges.
Eric Forman: There's an upside, when we get together, its going to be electric.
Donna Pinciotti: I'm serious, what if we go to different schools for three years, we'll never see each other.
Eric Forman: Then summer break, you better board up your windows because here comes Hurricane Eric.
Donna Pinciotti: What are my windows and wouldn't you want them open?
Eric Forman: We go to different schools now and we make it through it because our love is strong like a burly bear, zip up your tent because this bear has claws.
Donna Pinciotti: Again wouldn't you want my tent open?

Eric Forman: There's my favorite co-ed, you all ready to go?
Donna Pinciotti: I can't go, my Dad's making me go to Marquette. He says it's a better school. Oh, and because it sounds French.
Eric Forman: Well, if it's a better school I should go too, right Dad?
Reginald "Red" Forman: No state schools are cheap. that's where you belong.
Eric Forman: Can't you take out a second mortgage on the house?
Reginald "Red" Forman: [Red and Hyde laugh] Not for you, dumbass.

Donna Pinciotti: [to Jackie] Why am I going to a school I don't even like? I should've gone to UW with Eric and I should've laughed at his thunderstorm jokes. I bet those sluts at UW will laugh at his jokes. Sluts!

Donna Pinciotti: Donna
[on the phone]
Donna Pinciotti: Eric ?
Eric Forman: You hate Marquette so I think its safe to cross it right off the list.
Donna Pinciotti: Actually I love it, there's this English professor, he wears a beret and a collaroy jacket but he listens to Zeppelin.
Eric Forman: Well UW has a vending machine
Eric Forman: Donna I love you
Donna Pinciotti: I love you, bye.
Reginald "Red" Forman: [To Eric] You gonna cry too?
[Kitty's on the foot of the bed watching TV and crying]

"That '70s Show: That '70s Pilot (#1.1)" (1998)
Donna Pinciotti: Oh, have I told you how incredibly attractive you are Eric?
Eric Forman: No.
Michael Kelso: You told me he was cute.
Donna Pinciotti: No I didn't.
Michael Kelso: I remember, because you said not to say anything in front of Eric.

[Eric says they can go to Canada]
Donna Pinciotti: I think Canada closes at 9:30.

Donna Pinciotti: Eric, relax. We've lived next door to each other forever. You could've had me when I was four.
Eric Forman: Really? And there I was all day long on the hippity hop.

Donna Pinciotti: [as the boys look over a men's-magazine centerfold] Hunh. I see that every day.

[first scene of the series: May 17, 1976. 8:47 p.m. The gang is at the Formans' basement]
Steven Hyde: Eric, it is time.
Eric Forman: Why don't you do it?
Steven Hyde: It's your house.
Michael Kelso: Your house!
Steven Hyde: [points upward] Listen to them up there. The party has reached critical mass. In ten minutes, there will be no more beer opportunities.
Eric Forman: If my dad catches me copping beers, he'll kill me!
Steven Hyde: I'm willing to take that risk.
Michael Kelso: Don't worry about it! Just remain calm, keep moving...
Donna Pinciotti: And above all, don't get sucked into my dad's hair.
Eric Forman: What's wrong with your dad's hair?
Donna Pinciotti: Just don't look at it.
Steven Hyde: [grabs Eric's face] And Eric: cold. Definitely cold.
[Eric nods. Hyde pats him on the shoulder. Eric begins to run up the stairs. He pauses, looks back down, and continues]

"That '70s Show: Can't You Hear Me Knocking (#7.13)" (2005)
Karate Instructor: You don't understand Jackie, I am a stranger who wants to hurt you
[gets in a fighting stance]
Jackie Burkhart: I'm not buying it
Donna Pinciotti: [to Jackie] Okay maybe its not a stranger, maybe its someone who's already hurt you like Hyde
Jackie Burkhart: Watch it Donna
Donna Pinciotti: You with a glimpse of hope asked him if you had a future and he said I don't know
[to the other students]
Donna Pinciotti: I don't know! Like Jackie Burkhart wasn't special enough, I thought Jackie Burkhart was special but apparently you're no better than me
Jackie Burkhart: All men are bastards!
[She pushes the karate instructor behind the screen and hits knee, punches and elbows to the back of the neck]
Jackie Burkhart: I'm better then everyone and its Jackie, not Jackie san,just Jackie, dork san
[She kicks him in the nads]

Jackie Burkhart: There were dogs on the path so we climbed to the top of this tall thing to get away from them
Donna Pinciotti: That was me
Fez: Dogs?
Donna Pinciotti: What did you do!
Eric Forman: What! Nothing! Kelso thought there was a death ray so he called the White House and we thought the Feds were after us! But its okay, we just imagined it
Donna Pinciotti: I'm cutting you off, where's your stash?
Michael Kelso: Its all gone man

Jackie Burkhart: [To the karate instructor] Someone might follow one of these other women home but when people follow me, its usually to ask me where I get my hair done or to give me presents
Donna Pinciotti: That's true, I've seen it

Jackie Burkhart: I would never be in an alley because I'm not poor and if I ever was in an alley, I would have a boy with me to protect me
Donna Pinciotti: Jackie you're not always going to be with a guy, you're not with one now and no I don't count

"That '70s Show: Eric's Burger Job (#1.5)" (1998)
Eric: Hey would you guys respect me if I got a job at the town dump?
Donna Pinciotti: Town dump no? State dump? why are you getting a job anyway?
Eric: Everything costs money, gas, clothes, fun
Michael Kelso: Dates, dates cost money
Fez: No Kelso that is prostitution
Steven Hyde: Dates are prostitution man , except you don't always get what you paid for
Donna Pinciotti: Says the man who's never had a girlfriend
Steven Hyde: Hey you guys remember Andra the biker chick?
Eric: Whatever happened to her?
Steven Hyde: [proud] She's dating my uncle

Jackie Burkhart: Wait so your parents are going to be out of town?
Donna Pinciotti: Yeah it's just going to be me alone Saturday, well I'm babysitting my sister Tina; I'll watch some TV, maybe order a pizza
Michael Kelso: Let's have a party, a toga party
Jackie Burkhart: Michael maybe she doesn't want to have a party, maybe she wants to be alone
Donna Pinciotti: Well it'd just be me but if someone happens to come by, that'll be cool
Michael Kelso: Party at Donna's
Fez: Donna I've never been to an American party, may I come?
Donna Pinciotti: I don't care, so Eric will you be there?
Eric: Eric:
[not looking up from the newspaper]
Eric: Yeah, sure
Jackie Burkhart: [Donna leaves the basement and Jackie smacks Eric and Kelso across the back of the head] You are both so stupid
Steven Hyde: That's a first, I actually agree with Jackie
[to Eric]
Steven Hyde: she totally put on a full court press man and you dropped the ball
Eric: What are you talking about, all she said was she's going to be alone Saturday, order a pizza, oh my God, I'm so stupid

Steven Hyde: So big party?
Donna Pinciotti: [sarcastically] Whoopee
Steven Hyde: I can't believe Forman missed all those signals
Donna Pinciotti: What signals?
Steven Hyde: [in a girly voice] Oh poor me, all alone in my big house, just me in my nightie, if only some scrawny little neighbor boy would come over
Donna Pinciotti: He's not scrawny, why am I even talking to you about this?
Steven Hyde: Because I'm all you've got
Donna Pinciotti: [lying down on the couch embarrassed] So everyone knows! All I wanted was some time alone with him
Steven Hyde: And how does that make you feel?
Donna Pinciotti: Frustrated, its frustrating as hell
Steven Hyde: Do you have trouble sleeping at night?
Donna Pinciotti: Yeah, Sometimes
Steven Hyde: Do you think you'd sleep easier if you had a scrawny little neighbour boy next to you?

Donna Pinciotti: Hey Fez
Fez: Hello Donna, now tell me which one of these ladies is easy?
Tina Pinciotti: Donna your creepy friends are playing with Dad's stereo
Fez: [to unseen characters] Guys you can't go in the house
Donna Pinciotti: [to Tina] Hello pretty lady with the eyes like the sea
Tina Pinciotti: Hi
Steven Hyde: She's not a pretty lady, she's my sister and she's 14
Fez: You know in my country
Steven Hyde: It's illegal here

"That '70s Show: I Can't Quit You Babe (#5.2)" (2002)
Eric Forman: How was your first day?
Donna Pinciotti: Grim. This nun totally spanked me with a ruler.
Fez: Yet another reason I wish I was a ruler.

[Eric and Donna walked in Jackie and Hyde while they were making out]
Jackie Burkhart: Okay, so, um... what exactly did you see?
Eric Forman: Hands, tongues, yours, his... It was horrible!
Donna Pinciotti: You were like Siamese twins, joined at the beard.

[Hyde just left and Jackie makes up an excuse to leave as well]
Jackie Burkhart: I just remembered that I have to go to the mall because they're having this big Monday Madness Sale.
Donna Pinciotti: Jackie, it's Tuesday.
Jackie Burkhart: See? Total madness!

Donna Pinciotti: Eric, we're never gonna to see each other.
Eric Forman: Yeah, I know, and I can't even drive you to school. And we can forget about any lunchtime hokey-pokey. That's what it's all about.

"That '70s Show: Heartbreaker (#5.4)" (2002)
Michael Kelso: [laughs] Why is Hyde kissing Jackie?
[He looks back at Donna who's putting her hand through her hair]
Michael Kelso: What the hell? He's dead!
[He slams the beer can on the bench and starts pulling at the kitchen door unable to open it]
Donna Pinciotti: Kelso
Michael Kelso: They're getting away, what is wrong with this thing?
Eric Forman: It's against my better judgment but
[flips the switch]
Michael Kelso: Thank you, now Hyde's really dead
Michael Kelso: [He walks into the screen door] Well that's invisible!

Eric Forman: Okay Donna we need to stabilize him, we're gonna need pudding and lots of it
Michael Kelso: [getting up] Who chooses a chick over a friend?
Eric Forman: What, come on, Kelso remember when you made me walk home in a blizzard because you wanted 10 extra minutes with Pam Macy?
Michael Kelso: I didn't steal Pam Macy from you and you could've played in the snow until we were done
Donna Pinciotti: Jackie wanted to get married and you bailed; now she doesn't want to marry you, that solves your problem albeit with a disturbing twist ending
Michael Kelso: I'm kicking Hyde's ass
Eric Forman: Kelso you couldn't open my kitchen door

Michael Kelso: [He's wearing goggles] Get my eye now
Steven Hyde: [Hyde kicks him in the leg then Hyde's sitting on his back pinning him to the couch]
Michael Kelso: Get off me!
Steven Hyde: Not until you calm down
Fez: [after giving him a wet willy] Ah a wet one
Michael Kelso: Fez I'm going to get free eventually and then I'm going to kick your ass!
Steven Hyde: We need to settle this
Michael Kelso: I don't want to settle this, I don't want to talk about it, all I want to do is pound you until you feel as bad as I do!
Steven Hyde: [getting up] Fine, hit me, free shot
Michael Kelso: [getting up] Fine hit me, free shot
Steven Hyde: No man that's why they call it a free shot
Michael Kelso: [in a stance] Here it comes, its coming, get ready
Fez: We're ready fool, do it!
Michael Kelso: Forget it, its not going to change anything, just, forget it
[He sits down on the couch]
Steven Hyde: Look man I didn't plan this thing with me and Jackie, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry
Donna Pinciotti: [same time] Awwww!
Fez: Awwww!
Steven Hyde: Get bent!
Michael Kelso: What are we going to do now?
Donna Pinciotti: [getting up] I'll tell you what you're going to do, you're going to shake and you're going to get over it
Michael Kelso: No
Donna Pinciotti: Shake
Michael Kelso: I don't want to
Donna Pinciotti: Shake!
[Kelso and Hyde shake hands]

"That '70s Show: Red and Stacey (#4.10)" (2001)
Fez: It's time that you two left now good day.
Donna Pinciotti, Jackie Burkhart: But Fez...
Rhonda: [shouts] He said good day.

Eric Forman: She likes Red.
Donna Pinciotti: Oh my god!
Michael Kelso: You're gonna have to leave town!
Eric Forman: Why?
Michael Kelso: 'Cause we're gonna tell EVERYONE!

Steven Hyde: [to Eric] You're soft.
Donna Pinciotti, Michael Kelso: [Leaning over to Hyde, and in unison] How soft is he, Hyde?
Steven Hyde: [pauses] Softer than Liberace at the playboy mansion.
[They all start laughing again]

"That '70s Show: Eric Gets Suspended (#2.9)" (1999)
Donna Pinciotti: Did you get in a lot of trouble for the cigarette?
Eric: Uh, surprisingly, yes. It turns out Red has a temper.
Donna Pinciotti: Really?
Eric: So, yeah, who knew?

Donna Pinciotti: Hey, check it out. I've got an F on my report card.
Eric: An F? What did you fail?
Donna Pinciotti: English.
Eric: Isn't that... what we speak?

Hyde: Forman's first suspension... I'm so proud.
Michael Kelso: Wow, back up. Why'd he get suspended?
Donna Pinciotti: Because he's stupid.
Michael Kelso: [terrified] They can do that?

"That '70s Show: Bye Bye Basement (#4.5)" (2001)
Eric Forman: Hey Fez, does that costume come with a unicycle pump?
Donna Pinciotti: Well, you should talk. That shirt makes you look like a fruit-striped gum.
Eric Forman: God, what did you eat for breakfast? Carnation-instant bitch?

Donna Pinciotti: So Eric made friends with me when I was five so he could do it with me when I'm seventeen?
Michael Kelso: Well, that, and your sweet Big Wheel.

Donna Pinciotti: You morons may be right.

"That '70s Show: The Pill (#1.17)" (1999)
Donna Pinciotti: You have to tell Kelso. If you don't, I will.
Jackie Burkhardt: Thank you, Donna! Thank you! Oh, thank you!
[she runs to the bathroom door]
Donna Pinciotti: Jackie, I don't want to tell him!
[a crash is heard. Donna and Jackie goes out of the bathroom, they see Kelso passed out on the floor while Fez is slapping his face side to side]
Jackie Burkhardt: I think he knows.

Eric: What happened? Did Kelso forget your birthday or something?
Jackie Burkhardt: I'm pregnant.
Donna Pinciotti: [outside] Eric, you're like a million miles away. What's going on?
Eric: Ok, Donna. I have to tell you something, but you promise you're not going to tell anybody else.
Donna Pinciotti: Dirt! I swear. Now tell me.
Eric: Not here.
[they run into the car]
Eric: [no audio] Jackie's pregnant.
[Donna makes a shocking face]

Donna Pinciotti: Jackie, I went on the pill
Jackie Burkhardt: Oh, my God. You are gonna be so popular!

"That '70s Show: Babe I'm Gonna Leave You (#5.14)" (2003)
Eric Forman: We're gonna do what Luke Skywalker was too afraid to do: use the dark side to our advantage.
Donna Pinciotti: Eric, if we're gonna be married you really have to ease up on the Star Wars stuff. All right? It doesn't apply to everything.
Eric Forman: I'll have to rewrite my vows.

Jackie Burkhart: Oh. You're here. Didn't know they let slut-balls in here.
Annette: Well I saw you here so I thought it was okay.
Jackie Burkhart: Oh, you don't know it but you just burnt yourself.
Annette: Oh, I know it. The question is do *you* know it?
Eric Forman: Donna, are you following this?
Donna Pinciotti: Um, I think one of them is a slut-ball and the other one knows it.

[about the dance]
Eric Forman: Yeah, I'm just glad it's in the gym. There's nothing like celebrating the most romantic day in your life in a room where I got my first wedgie.
Donna Pinciotti: It meant I liked you, Eric.

"That '70s Show: Eric's Panties (#3.6)" (2000)
Donna Pinciotti: [fighting with the basement doorknob] Will somebody PLEASE open this door, so I can KILL Eric?

Eric Forman: Hi, hello, hi Donna.
Donna Pinciotti: Don't hi, hello, hi Donna me!

[Donna confronts Eric with the panties she found in his car]
Eric Forman: Donna, look, you have to believe me, I have no idea whose panties those are!
[Midge rushes in, snatching the panties from Donna]
Midge Pinciotti: Donna! Those panties are mine.
[hearing that, Kelso and Fez get excited, thinking incorrectly that Eric had sex with Midge]
Michael Kelso: Eric! OOOH! OOOH!
[Kelso and Fez bow down]
Michael Kelso: You are a god! A god I say!
[Donna pulls her mother to the side]
Donna Pinciotti: Um, Mom, why were your panties in the Vista Cruiser?
Fez: And please as specific.
Midge Pinciotti: Donna, when you've been together as long as your father and I have, you need to do creative things... in creative places.
Michael Kelso, Fez: [disgusted] UGH!

"That '70s Show: Uncomfortable Ball Stuff (#4.7)" (2001)
[first lines]
Donna Pinciotti: Hey, Mrs. Forman. My dad's making a cheese sandwich, but he's missing some stuff, so can I borrow bread and cheese?

Kitty Forman: [sympathetic] Oh, your dad's havin' a hard time without your mom, isn't he?
Reginald "Red" Forman: [looks sideways from his paper] Midge was the brains of that outfit?
Reginald "Red" Forman: Oh I'm - I'm sorry, Donna.
Eric Forman: [opens the door to the kitchen; enters] Sorry about what?
Reginald "Red" Forman: You, uh, get Donna bread and cheese.
Eric Forman: [confused] Okay.
Donna Pinciotti: [strokes dress Kitty is ironing as Eric is behind her getting bread and cheese] Oh, this is a really nice dress.
Kitty Forman: I know; isn't it fancy?
Kitty Forman: It's for the Pricemart Ball tomorrow night.
Eric Forman: Oh, right. The Pricemart Ball.
Kitty Forman: [sitting next to Red, who is back to reading his paper] So, who are you takin'? Who's the lucky lady?
Eric Forman: [holding bread; waving it sometimes for emphasis] Well, I decided not to go. Personal choice.
Reginald "Red" Forman: [not looking up from paper] You don't have a date, do ya?
Eric Forman: [Walking over, Donna mirroring his direction] Okay. You know what? It's not about "can I get a date?" It's about this great book that I'm like, halfway through. Plus, you know, I could get a date.
[Red laughs once]
Eric Forman: I got numbers, Buddy.
Kitty Forman: Sure you do, Honey. You're number 1 with me!
[laughs hysterically]
Reginald "Red" Forman: [looking up from paper] You're goin' tomorrow night. And you'd better not go stag, Eric. There's nothing worse than an 80-pound boy dancing with his mommy all night.
[Eric slightly rolls his eyes]
Donna Pinciotti: You know what?
[clears throat and takes Eric's arm to turn him to her]
Donna Pinciotti: I'll go. I told you I would, like, months ago.
Eric Forman: But that was before the... ugliness.
Donna Pinciotti: [ever-so-slightly dramatic] Eric, I'm over it.
[voice of realization; uppity]
Donna Pinciotti: Hey, I'm over it! Oh, I'm - I'm over it.
[Eric's eyes dart to and fro]
Donna Pinciotti: Plus, I mean, last year, they had all-you-can-eat shrimp.
Eric Forman: Well, I mean,
Eric Forman: you know, I'm over it. Hey, I'm over it. Yeah, I'm over it. I was just worried that you might think it was weird, us going out on a date, so, I mean, you know, the - the concern lay with you.
Donna Pinciotti: [amused] Eric, it's not a date!
Eric Forman: It's not. I know. I know it's not a date. It's not a date. It's a... shrimp fest. It's a festival of shrimp, if you will.
Donna Pinciotti: [nods, laughing] Exactly!
Eric Forman: Oh.
Donna Pinciotti: [still amused] I'll see you tomorrow night.
Eric Forman: [laughing] Okay.
[Donna leaves out the kitchen exit and Eric looks after her]
Kitty Forman: See, now, look. My little prince is going to the ball.
[smiles at Red and then goes back to her task; cut to credits]

"That '70s Show: Roller Disco (#3.5)" (2000)
Donna Pinciotti: Oh, my God. I think Jackie and Fez are next. Look. There they are.
Michael Kelso: [shouting] Hey. The next contestants are cheaters. The brown guy is a robot.

Michael Kelso: I don't get Jackie, man. I mean, picking Fez over me? Me? I have the three things that women want. I'm hot, and I'm smart!
Donna Pinciotti: That's two things, you moron.
Michael Kelso: No, it's three. I count hot twice. I mean, come on.

"That '70s Show: Bring It on Home (#5.19)" (2003)
Steven Hyde: This just in: Your weirdo boyfriend sleeps in the nude.
Donna Pinciotti: Yeah? So? I do too.
Michael Kelso: Oh yeah!
Fez: Oh, I can see it now. And it is glorious!
[looks around nervously]
Fez: Excuse me.
[he runs out]

[about Jackie]
Eric Forman: Donna, you have to let her stay with you. Come on, she's your best friend.
Donna Pinciotti: She's not my best friend.
Eric Forman: Well, then who's your best friend?
[Donna thinks it over]
Donna Pinciotti: Oh crap. How the hell did that happen?

"That '70s Show: Eric's Buddy (#1.11)" (1998)
Donna Pinciotti: Where's Buddy?
Eric Forman: Oh, Buddy. Um, well, Buddy got... busy, so...
Jackie Burkhart: Yeah, I mean, I'm sure he has lots to do. He is popular.
Fez: Yeah, and so obviously gay
[Eric squirms]

Steven Hyde: [after Kelso and Jackie leave] So Forman, now that the scary kids are gone, is Buddy gay?
Eric Forman: Well, I don't think it's really my place to...
Donna and Hyde: He's gay.
Eric Forman: Okay guys, hypothetical situation, crazy scenario, wouldn't happen in, like a million years. Let's just, let's say, okay, that Buddy made a move on me.
Donna Pinciotti: Eric, he's not going to make a move on you if he knows you're straight.
Steven Hyde: I don't know. I mean, Forman is pretty irresistible.
Eric Forman: [pause] I don't think he'll make a move on me again.
Donna and Hyde: Again?
Eric Forman: Or for the first time, you know. I gotta go.

"That '70s Show: Sunday, Bloody Sunday (#1.10)" (1998)
[to Jackie and Kelso]
Donna Pinciotti: Finally. Where have you guys been?
Michael Kelso: We had to look for the paper, and eat, and then some stuff happened, you know.
Eric Forman: Your shirt's on inside out.
Michael Kelso: Yeah, that's the stuff.

Donna Pinciotti: What's the assignment?
Eric Forman: All right: "In 1,000 words, describe the three branches of the United States government and their functions." I'll never make it.
Steven Hyde: [Jackie says she has a paper on the subject she did last year, so she leaves to get it] Hey, what do I need Jackie for, man? I know more about this stuff than she does. The three true branches of the government are military, corporate and Hollywood.

"That '70s Show: Ice Shack (#3.10)" (2001)
Donna Pinciotti: [to Jackie] I told Eric that his pecs were really starting to grow. But come on, if you lie him on his back you could fill up his chest with water.

Donna Pinciotti: It's kinda cold.
Eric: Here! Take my jacket.
Donna Pinciotti: I love you.
Eric: God, we are such the... perfect couple.
Jackie Burkhardt: [looking at Kelso] I'm cold, too.
Michael Kelso: Well, damn, Jackie, I can't control the weather!

"That '70s Show: Beast of Burden (#7.4)" (2004)
Donna Pinciotti: Well, last time I was here, they were looking for help. And they have no idea how weird you are.
Fez: That IS an advantage.

Jeri: [to Fez, who wants the shampoo boy job] You're a little creepy. But you're cute, so I'll try you out on one of our regular customers.
Donna Pinciotti: Yes! That's great, Fez. I have complete faith in you.
Jeri: You're gonna wash Donna's hair.
Donna Pinciotti: Ooh, you know, I'm kind of exclusive with Paulette.
Jeri: I can't just test him on anyone. He seems kind of pervy.
Fez: She gets me.

"That '70s Show: I'm a Boy (#6.8)" (2004)
[Donna and Eric are about to have sex]
Eric Forman: I'm just going to have to warn you, I'm exhausted, so you're going to have to do all the work.
Donna Pinciotti: Why should today be any different?

Donna Pinciotti: You're babying him.
Kitty Forman: I'm not.
Donna Pinciotti: Are there crusts on that sandwich?
Kitty Forman: Of course not! Crusts are icky, they make Eric sicky. Oh, my God, I *am* babying him!

"That '70s Show: That Disco Episode (#1.7)" (1998)
Eric Forman: You smell great. What'd you do?
Donna Pinciotti: I took a bath.
Donna Pinciotti: I was thinking of you the whole time.
Eric Forman: Yeah, I do the same thing in the shower.
Donna Pinciotti: What?
Eric Forman: [quickly] Nothing.

Eric Forman: I like you.
Donna Pinciotti: So... you're in like with me?

"That '70s Show: A New Hope (#1.20)" (1999)
Donna Pinciotti: David Milbank? Aw, barf! Eric, remember when you beat him up on the playground?
Eric Forman: Yep!
Eric Forman: I kicked his ass.
Jackie Burkhart: Wait, wasn't he the kid with scoliosis and asthma?
Eric Forman: Yep.
Eric Forman: And I kicked his *ass*!

Donna Pinciotti: [angrily] Eric, just because a guy pays attention to me does not mean he wants to get me naked!
Eric Forman: Oh, *grow up*!
Donna Pinciotti: [coldly] Is that why *you* paid attention to me?
Eric Forman: *Of course*!... Not! Of course not.

"That '70s Show: Jackie Bags Hyde (#3.8)" (2000)
Donna Pinciotti: Your dad's an ass and you're an ass because the ass doesn't fall too far from the asstree.

Jackie Burkhart: Wait. Is Fez Puerto Rican?
Donna Pinciotti: You know what... I don't know.

"That '70s Show: Holy Craps (#3.20)" (2001)
[Eric thinks about him and Donna when they're middle aged and have totally had it with each other]
Donna Pinciotti: Who ate the last donut?
Eric Forman: [looks around] Um, I did.
Donna Pinciotti: Son of a bitch.
Eric Forman: Well, you ate the first eleven! I weigh 80 pounds! You know why I'm bald? My body is eating its own hair!

[Fez breaks up with Caroline and doesn't dare to say it's because she's crazy]
Fez: Umm... because... Donna and I are in love!
Caroline: What?
Donna Pinciotti: Oh my god!
Jackie Burkhart: Eeewwww!

"That '70s Show: The Velvet Rope (#2.3)" (1999)
Midge Pinciotti: Donna, your negativity is bruising our auras. Please leave.
Donna Pinciotti: Gladly.
Bob Pinciotti: Oh, and honey, we're also exploring tantric sex. So if you here any strange noises coming from Mommy and Daddy's bedroom...
Donna Pinciotti: Ew! Why must you guys freak me out on a daily basis?

"That '70s Show: Battle of the Sexists (#1.4)" (1998)
Midge Pinciotti: I think your annoying friend is right
Donna Pinciotti: What?
Midge Pinciotti: Certain things change
Donna Pinciotti: Eric and I have been playing games our whole lives, sometimes he wins and sometimes I win
Midge Pinciotti: No, I mean the rules change. Women have to pretend to be weak and fragile so that men can feel superior
Donna Pinciotti: That's insane! If women don't learn to stand up for themselves then men will always control the World!
Midge Pinciotti: Oh Honey, Men don't control the world

"That '70s Show: Eric's Hot Cousin (#4.14)" (2002)
Jackie Burkhart: Lobster face!
Donna Pinciotti: Little Red Riding BITCH!

"That '70s Show: Winter (#7.11)" (2004)
Patty Ryals: Jackie Burkhart, welcome to the LOPP's christmas party. Who's your boyfriend?
Jackie Burkhart: Oh ehm... he can't be here. He's at rich... stockbrokers school.
Patty Ryals: Well then i'm just gonna have to seat you with the Single Ladies Of Point Place.
Jackie Burkhart: The SLOPP's?
Donna Pinciotti: HA! You're a SLOPP.

"That '70s Show: The Seeker (#6.25)" (2004)
Michael Kelso: Would it make you feel better if I told you Eric left a note?
Donna Pinciotti: Eric left a note?
Michael Kelso: No. But hold on to that feeling.

"That '70s Show: Short and Curlies (#7.24)" (2005)
Donna Pinciotti: You can do anything you want to to Princess Leia. Her force field is down.

"That '70s Show: Fun It (#8.7)" (2005)
Donna Pinciotti: [entering the Formans' basement] Quick, turn on the TV.
Jackie Burkhart: [groans] Donna, nobody has time for one of your muscle-building shows.

"That '70s Show: The Good Son (#1.25)" (1999)
Donna Pinciotti: Excuse me. Jackie, when exactly did you lose your soul?
Jackie Burkhart: Umm, Cheerleading camp.

"That '70s Show: Eric's Birthday (#1.2)" (1998)
[first lines]
Steven Hyde: [watching "Petticoat Junction"] Does it bother anyone else that these women live in Hooterville?
Eric Forman: Technically, Petticoat Junction is down the track from Hooterville.
Steven Hyde: Well, does it bother anyone that they live down the track from Hooterville?
Donna Pinciotti: What bothers me is that they bathe in the town water tank.

"That '70s Show: Hyde's Father (#3.3)" (2000)
[Donna and Eric are making out on his bed, she sees something underneath the bed]
Donna Pinciotti: You keep a stack of dirty magazines under your bed?
Eric Forman: What? No! No, not a stack.
[Donna picks up about 15 magazines]
Eric Forman: I mean, what is a "stack"?

"That '70s Show: I Love Cake (#2.7)" (1999)
Donna Pinciotti: I love you, Eric.
Eric Forman: [looks shocked] I love... cake.

"That '70s Show: Let's Spend the Night Together (#7.2)" (2004)
Fez: Oh Donna, if you would knew what I would do to you and your cute blond hair... you would beat the crap out of me
Donna Pinciotti: Well than I might as well beat the crap out of you anyway.
Fez: YES!

"That '70s Show: Jackie Says Cheese (#4.13)" (2002)
[Jackie receives a paycheck - the first salary she has ever earned in her life]
Jackie Burkhart: [excited] Oh my gosh! It's a check!
[Jackie points to the corner of the check]
Jackie Burkhart: And that's my name! Mine!
Michael Kelso: So... we can stay together!
Jackie Burkhart: Yeah, and I can still be rich!
Michael Kelso: Yeah!
Donna Pinciotti: Well, if this isn't gonna go badly, I'm heading home.
[Donna turns to leave]
Michael Kelso: No, wait. Jackie deserves a celebration. Hey, let's go buy me that remote control car!
Jackie Burkhart: [firmly] No, Michael. Money doesn't grow on trees.
[Jackie pauses, realizing what she has just said]
Jackie Burkhart: Money *doesn't* grow on trees. You know, I think having a job is changing me. Okay, think about it: a whole new me.
Michael Kelso, Donna Pinciotti: That'll be great!

"That '70s Show: The Crunge (#5.10)" (2002)
[Eric told the gang he and Donna are engaged]
Donna Pinciotti: I can't believe you told!
Eric Forman: Hey, Donna, I got an 800 on the S.A.T... We're lucky I can wash myself.

"That '70s Show: We're Not Gonna Take It (#6.6)" (2003)
[Bob is depressed since Joanne broke up with him. To cheer him up, Donna and Jackie sent him anonymously a nice basket of fudge]
Bob Pinciotti: [cheerfully] Guess what, girls. I got fudge.
[Donna and Jackie feign they have no idea who sent it]
Donna Pinciotti: [smiles] Fudge? What a surprise! Who is it from?
[Bob finds a note inside the basket]
Bob Pinciotti: It didn't say, but there is a poem: "Roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, here's some fudge".
[Donna looks critically at Jackie for the lousy rhyme. Jackie is slightly embarrassed]
Jackie Burkhart: [whispers to Donna] They rushed me.

"That '70s Show: Street Fighting Man (#7.14)" (2005)
Reginald "Red" Forman: [To Eric] Why the hell are you wearing a Bears shirt!How could you do this to me?
Donna Pinciotti: Maybe he doesn't understand why its wrong, let me say it to him in a way he'll understand
[To Eric]
Donna Pinciotti: the Packers are like the Jedi, you're wearing a Go Darth Vader shirt.

"That '70s Show: Grandma's Dead (#1.23)" (1999)
Eric Forman: I killed her. She was old, and the shock of her grandson telling her that she was nasty killed her.
Donna Pinciotti: Have you talked to Red about this?
Eric Forman: I'm not talking to my dad about this. Do you remember how angry he got when I didn't rake the yard? And this is like, twice as bad.

"That '70s Show: Fez Gets the Girl (#3.12)" (2001)
Donna Pinciotti: Well, since Mr. Smock here is being all logical, I guess I'll have to take one of you losers.

"That '70s Show: Romantic Weekend (#3.16)" (2001)
Donna Pinciotti: We're spending the weekend at a hotel.
Steven Hyde: What, car sex isn't good enough anymore?
Fez: I would love car sex...
Fez: Or just sex...
Fez: Or just a car.

"That '70s Show: Eric's Drunken Tattoo (#3.22)" (2001)
Donna Pinciotti: Did you read my diary? I won't get mad if you did.
Eric Forman: [cautious] Yes.
Donna Pinciotti: You sneaky little dillhole!

"That '70s Show: The First Time (#2.16)" (2000)
Eric: You know Donna, I'm not surprised you're in my bed. I knew you couldn't resist me any longer.
Donna: No I couldn't. I want you. I need you.
Eric: Well, I never turn down a woman in need.
[Wraps his arms around her]
Donna: You know, being here in you bed. On your... SpiderMan sheets. Makes me feel so Ready, so Willing.
Eric: Then call me Able.
[Kisses her]
Eric: Oh, a little mood music.
[Turns on a clock radio. Romantic music about a dream plays while he kisses her]
Eric: [Dissolve to Eric waking up alone in his bed] Damn.
Donna: [Off camera] What's wrong?
Eric: [Eric screams] Aggh!
[Eric sees the real Donna kneeling next to his bed]
Eric: I mean... hey baby!

"That '70s Show: Burning Down the House (#2.15)" (2000)
[Jackie and Donna walk down the hallway, toward the party, unaware to the fire Kelso started]
Jackie Burkhart: God, how dare you say that about me and Michael?
Donna Pinciotti: Jackie, you wanted my honest opinion.
Jackie Burkhart: Your honest opinion that we're great together. Look, you were wrong about Michael. He knows he made a mistake and he's going to make it up to me. You wait and see.
[at Jackie's living room, "Disco Inferno" plays. Smoke fills the room, and Kelso tries unsuccessfully to put out the fire with a pillow. Jackie and Donna enter]
Michael Kelso: Uh, Jackie, where's the fire extinguisher?
[Jackie is shocked to see the mess Kelso made in her house. Kelso starts blowing on the fire in futile attempt to put it out]

"That '70s Show: Drive in (#1.8)" (1998)
Eric: [Kelso, Jackie, Donna and Eric are in a drive in movie. Donna and Jackie screams and hides in the car, then Kelso gets Erics attention, then Eric shoves his face back, then Jackie grabs Kelso face] Donna, it's just a movie.
[Donna gets up. Then Kelso and Jackie starts kicking them in the head while making out]
Eric: Do you want to sit somewhere else?
Donna Pinciotti: So bad.
[they try to get out of the car while Kelso and Jackie were still kicking them]

"That '70s Show: The Kids Are Alright (#6.1)" (2003)
[Jackie and Kelso sit at the Hub]
Jackie Burkhart: Michael, do you think I'm immature?
Michael Kelso: No, you're almost fully grown.
Jackie Burkhart: Well... Steven thinks so. Apparently, I'm immature, and that skank in the leather jacket is what? Cool? Well, I can be cool, people can change. Olivia Newton-John did it for John Travolta, and that movie was totally realistic.
[Jackie's daydream: she and Donna enter the Hub. Jackie wears the same black tight outfit that Olivia Newton-John wore at "You're The One That I Want" song scene in the movie "Grease". The guys are playing the arcade machine. Eric, Kelso and Fez turn around]
Eric Forman: [bites his hand] Wow!
Michael Kelso: [shakes his hand] Yowza!
Fez: [smiles, rubbing his belly] Yummy!
[Hyde turns around. He takes off his sunglasses, astonished to see Jackie - similarly to Danny Zuko's reaction when he saw how Sandy changed]
Steven Hyde: Jackie?
Jackie Burkhart: Tell me about it, Steve.
[the music of "You're The One That I Want" plays in the background. The gang starts dancing]
Steven Hyde: [in John Travolta's voice] I got chills, they're multiplyin', and I'm losin' control, for the power you're supplyin', it's electrifyin'...
Jackie Burkhart: [in Olivia Newton-John's voice] You better shape up, 'cause I need a man, and my heart is set on you. You better shape up, you better understand, to my heart I must me true...
Steven Hyde: [in John Travolta's voice] Nothin' left, nothin' left for me and you...
Jackie Burkhart, Steven Hyde: You're the one that I want, ooh, ooh, ooh, honey. The one that I want, ooh, ooh, ooh, honey. The one that I want, ooh, ooh, ooh. The one I need. Oh, yes, indeed...
[Hyde hugs Jackie. The music fades]
Steven Hyde: [in his normal voice] Oh, Jackie, you're so much cooler than that skank I was with before. Please take me back, 'cause we belong together like Bop-booba-loo-ba, sha-walla, sha-bang, sha-bang...
[Jackie and Hyde kiss passionately. The gang is overjoyed that the two are back together]
Michael Kelso: Ah! The whole gang is back together again.
[Fez kisses Eric on his cheek]
Eric Forman: Yes, they did it!
Donna Pinciotti: This is so great for the whole...
[end of Jackie's daydream]

"That '70s Show: Streaking (#1.3)" (1998)
Donna Pinciotti: Mom, why are you doing this?
Midge Pinciotti: Honey, there are lots of things I do to make your father happy that I don't really like.

"That '70s Show: Halloween (#2.5)" (1999)
[Fez is dressed up as Batman for Halloween]
Jackie Burkhart: Donna, you know who protected me back there? Fez.
Donna Pinciotti: He had to, he's Batman.

"That '70s Show: A Legal Matter (#6.10)" (2004)
Fez: This could be my last day in the country. We should make love.
Donna Pinciotti: What?
Fez: Don't worry, it will be over before you know it.

"That '70s Show: Eric's Stash (#2.12)" (2000)
Michael Kelso: College is for ugly girls who can't get modeling contracts.
Donna Pinciotti: No, college is for women who don't want to marry the first idiot they meet and squeeze out his bastard moron children.

"That '70s Show: Nobody's Fault But Mine (#5.23)" (2003)
Donna Pinciotti: [Thought Kelso means Eric cheated on her] Did Eric cheat on me? I will snap that little monkey like a twig!

"That '70s Show: Baby Fever (#3.7)" (2000)
Donna Pinciotti: So it turns out that my super-sensitive-guy boyfriend wants me to be a baby machine. What a dillhole!
Eric Forman: [looking stunned] Donna, I'm sitting right here.
Donna Pinciotti: That's why I said it, you dillhole.

"That '70s Show: The Battle of Evermore (#5.17)" (2003)
Red Forman: [walks out into the driveway] Sooooo... I guess this is the way an immature, engaged, high-school dumbass with no car, no job, and no money trims the hedges.
Steven Hyde: That was like eight burns in one sentence.
Donna Pinciotti: An octo-burn. Let's get the hell outta here.