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: Laney, sex is the quickest way to ruin a friendship.
: Don't Bogart that can, man... Troy Dyer
: Are you retarded? Vickie
: No, I'm rhyming. It's not easy. Sure I make it look easy...
: Do you ever wish you were a lesbian? Don't you think it would be so much easier? Lelaina
: Sometimes, but I don't know. I could never go through with it. I'd start laughing or something. Vickie
: That is such a shame because I have had it with men.
: Would the two of you just do it and get it over with? I'm starving!
: Sometimes I get that not-so-fresh feeling.
: Welcome to the Maxi Pad.
: You've been waiting for this since the day we met. Vickie
: Oh, who told you that, Your psychic partner?
: I'm late for a jean-folding seminar. Let's locomote!
: Évian is "naïve" spelled backward.
: [about Troy
] He's weird, he's strange, he's sloppy, he's a total nightmare for women... I can't believe I haven't slept with him yet.
: You don't understand. Every day, all day, it's all that I think about, OK? Every time I sneeze, it's like I'm four sneezes away from the hospice, and it's like it's not even happening to me. It's like I'm watching it on some crappy show like "Melrose Place" or some shit, right? And I'm the new character, I'm the HIV-AIDS character, and I live in the building and I teach everybody that it's OK to be near me, it's OK to talk to me, and then I die. And there's everybody at my funeral wearing halter tops or chokers or some shit like that. Lelaina
: Vickie stop, OK? Just stop. You're freaking out. And you know what? You're gonna have to deal with the results. Whatever they are, we're gonna have to deal with them just like we've dealt with everything else. Vickie Miner
: This isn't like everything else. Lelaina
: I know that, all right? But it's gonna be OK, you know? I know it's gonna be OK. "Melrose Place" is a really good show.
: I truly believe that if we can get two women on the supreme court, we can get at least one on you.
: I have something to tell you, I am... a homo... homosexual. Vickie
] Oh, Christ.