Isabel Kelly
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Quotes for
Isabel Kelly (Character)
from Stepmom (1998)

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Stepmom (1998)
Isabel: Why don't we name the puppy?
Anna Harrison: I know: Isabel.
Isabel: I beg your pardon?
Anna Harrison: Well, it kind of smells like you, and I'm allergic to you too, so it fits perfectly.

Isabel: Look down the road to her wedding. I'm in a room alone with her, fixing her veil, fluffing her dress, telling her no woman has ever looked so beautiful. And my fear is she'll think, "I wish my mom were here."
Jackie Harrison: And my fear is... she won't.

Isabel: You know, I never wanted to be a mom. Sharing it with you... that's one thing. It's another to be looking over my shoulder for the next twenty years, knowing someone else would have done it better... someone else would have done it right.
Jackie Harrison: What do you have that I don't?
Isabel: You're Mother Earth, incarnate.
Jackie Harrison: You're... hip, and fresh.
Isabel: You ride with Anna.
Jackie Harrison: You'll learn.
Isabel: You know every story, every wound, every memory. Their whole life's happiness is wrapped up in you... every single second. Don't you get it? Look down the road to her wedding. I'm in a room alone with her, fixing her veil, fluffing her dress, telling her no woman has ever looked so beautiful. And my fear is she'll be thinking, "I wish my mom was here."
Jackie Harrison: And mine is... she won't.

Jackie Harrison: You know, Ben was born in two hours, went right to the breast, and camped there for 4 days. His blanket looked just like a cape, even the nurses thought so. He loves hearing that story about how he was born a magician.
Isabel: What about her?
Jackie Harrison: 28 hours. The doctors wanted to go in and get her, but I knew she'd come at her own time. You can never rush her.
Isabel: I'll keep that in mind.

Isabel: You look tired.
Jackie Harrison: I hate when people say that. It's like a polite way of telling you that you look like shit.

[after Anna has called and hung up twice]
Isabel: Hello?... What is your problem, asshole?
Anna Harrison: YOU are my problem!

Isabel: I am so unbelievably sick of your imperious bullshit. I never said I was June-fucking-Clever...
Jackie Harrison: You don't use that kind of language in this house!
Isabel: ...and if every time life hits her hard you want to have a twelve hour conversation every third Tuesday of the month, go right ahead, lady, I have a life.
Jackie Harrison: Oh, and I don't?
[scoffs]
Jackie Harrison: You know what your problem is? You are so self-involved. You couldn't be a mother.
Isabel: Maybe the problem here is your daughter, and that she is a spoiled, wise-ass little brat.
Jackie Harrison: Get out of my house. Get out!
Isabel: [pause, she turns to go] Are you sure? I didn't see that on the schedule.

Anna Harrison: I don't have to listen to you, you're not my mother!
Isabel: THANK GOD FOR THAT!

[Jackie is smoking marijuana]
Jackie Harrison: Yep. Life's a tradeoff. It's finally legal to smoke dope, but you got to have cancer.
Isabel: Are you dying?
Jackie Harrison: Not today.

[to Luke]
Isabel: Don't fight with me when I'm hungry.

Isabel: It's not that I can't cook, I choose not to cook.

Isabel: If you meet me back here in 1 hour, I will prove to you why you hired me... even though I wouldn't sleep with you

Isabel: [argueing with Jackie, after giving Anna some advice about a guy] What is it that your worried about, looking bad at the P.T.A?

Isabel: Maybe the problem is that your daughter is a spoiled, little brat!
Jackie Harrison: Get out of my house, get out.
Isabel: Are you sure? I didn't see that on the schedule.

Isabel: [backstage at the school Thanksgiving play] I have something to tell you.
Jackie Harrison: You're having Michael Jackson's baby.
Isabel: That, *and* Anna is totally over her head for Brad Kovitsky.
Jackie Harrison: [gasp] No!

Isabel: You know, I never wanted to be a mom. Sharing it with you... that's one thing. It's another to be looking over my shoulder for the next twenty years, knowing someone else would have done it better... someone else would have done it right.
Jackie Harrison: What do I have that you don't?
Isabel: You're Mother Earth, incarnate.
Jackie Harrison: You're... hip, and fresh.
Isabel: You ride with Anna.
Jackie Harrison: You'll learn.
Isabel: You know every story, every wound, every memory. Their whole life's happiness is wrapped up in you... every single second. Don't you get it? Look down the road to her wedding. I'm in a room alone with her, fixing her veil, fluffing her dress, telling her no woman has ever looked so beautiful. And my fear is she'll be thinking, "I wish my mom was here."
Jackie Harrison: And mine is... she won't.

Isabel: I'm so sorry but you're not making this any easier on anybody.
Jackie Harrison: It is not my job to make it easier for you it is my job to take care of those children and they don't wanna be with YOU
[she grabs her children's hands]
Jackie Harrison: I'm getting a court order and you are never going to be with these children again alone do you understand? EVER!

[first lines]
DJ Scott Zoe: [the morning DJ on the radio] Hey, good morning, New York. Scott Zoe here at 102.7, WNEW-FM, where rock lives. Beautiful autumn day in the city, and a great record coming your way, too.
[the song Under Pressure by David Bowie plays]
Isabel: [Isabel gets up in a rush to go and wake up Ben] Ben? Ben? Ben. Get up, get up, get up. Late, late, late. Ben? Come on, honey. Get up. We're seriously late.
[Isabel lowers down the blanket sheet over Ben's bed and reveals a blown up dinosaur underneath and screams]
Isabel: All right, you may think this is funny but this is so not...
[screams again as she nearly walks on Ben's bunny rabbit]
Isabel: funny. I'm not kidding around anymore, Ben. You make yourself appear right this instant. Ben? Ben? The clock is ticking, Ben. Come on now. Ben?

[Isabel takes a family Christmas photo]
Isabel: Why doesn't everybody get on the sofa for a picture, huh?
Jackie Harrison: [talks to Luke] Baby, can you put that birdcage on the floor for me?
Isabel: [sets the camera up for a second shot] And I'll set up here.
Luke: All right, there you go.
Isabel: On the count of three, I want to see big Christmas smiles. One, two... Benjamin.
[looks at Ben to smile]
Isabel: Three.
[camera snaps]
Isabel: Excellent.
Jackie Harrison: Good one. Okay, now let's get one with the whole family. Isabel?
Isabel: [Isabel smiles] Okay, let me just reset this. Get ready.
[Isabel sits with Jackie, Luke, Anna, and Ben. The camera snaps]