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: [Speaking to Chris about Samantha
] It's OK. She's got her toothpaste. Samantha James
: [eating the toothpaste
: [Samantha has found out that Chris is seeing someone else
] The jig is up! Run! Samantha James
: You son of a bitch! Chris
: Samantha! You're here! Shit! Samantha James
: There she is. There's the little slut you've been banging behind my back! Old Woman
: Me? Samantha James
: Not you, wrinkles.
[Points at Jamie
] Samantha James
: Her! Jamie Palamino
: Who are you? Samantha James
: I'm Samantha James, bitch!
] Jamie Palamino
: Don't shove me!
[Shoves Samantha back
] Samantha James
: You're a whore! Santa's little whore! Santa's little whore! Jamie Palamino
: Get off! Mike
: [In an excited, high pitched voice
] Cat fight!
: Raise your hand if your brother's a homo!
: You'll always be fat to me!
: Do you really have my poster on your wall? Mike
: Yeah. Samantha James
: Do you ever... Mike
: All the time! Samantha James
: How many times a day? Mike
: Eight. Samantha James
: *Eight?* Ooh that's hot! Mike
: You're hot. Samantha James
: I know! I know.
: Yeah I slapped the ham to it about an hour ago. Chris' Mom
: What ham did you slap, honey? Not the one I just bought.
: Samantha James, it is an honor. I have your poster on my wall, but you are so much hotter in person. Samantha James
] I know!
: Dude I think she left you hanging. Chris
: It's probably just an important businees call. Get off the phone. Mike
: What, the bar ran out of curly fries? Chris
: Get off the phone!
[losing his temper
: Dude are you gonna boink Jamie or what? Chris
: Yes! Are you happy now? Mike
: Alright. Mike
: Dude the Notebook is so gay. Chris
: GET OFF THE PHONE! Mike
: Homo, homo...
[Mike makes noises down the phone with his tongue
: [Chris kicks down the bathroom door
: [Samantha shoves Mike against the bathroom wall
] Where's Chris! Mike
: I'll never tell you anything! Samantha James
: Oh yeah?
[Passionately tongue kisses Mike
: Mmmm! Mmmm! Oh! Oh! Samantha James
: He's with his lover!