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Quotes for
Mike Brander (Character)
from Just Friends (2005/I)

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Just Friends (2005/I)
Mike: [Speaking to Chris about Samantha] It's OK. She's got her toothpaste.
Samantha James: [eating the toothpaste] Blueberry.

Mike: [Samantha has found out that Chris is seeing someone else] The jig is up! Run!
Samantha James: You son of a bitch!
Chris: Samantha! You're here! Shit!
Samantha James: There she is. There's the little slut you've been banging behind my back!
Old Woman: Me?
Samantha James: Not you, wrinkles.
[Points at Jamie]
Samantha James: Her!
Jamie Palamino: Who are you?
Samantha James: I'm Samantha James, bitch!
[Shoves Jamie]
Jamie Palamino: Don't shove me!
[Shoves Samantha back]
Samantha James: You're a whore! Santa's little whore! Santa's little whore!
Jamie Palamino: Get off!
Mike: [In an excited, high pitched voice] Cat fight!

Mike: Raise your hand if your brother's a homo!

Mike: You'll always be fat to me!

Samantha James: Do you really have my poster on your wall?
Mike: Yeah.
Samantha James: Do you ever...
Mike: All the time!
Samantha James: How many times a day?
Mike: Eight.
Samantha James: *Eight?* Ooh that's hot!
Mike: You're hot.
Samantha James: I know! I know.

Mike: Yeah I slapped the ham to it about an hour ago.
Chris' Mom: What ham did you slap, honey? Not the one I just bought.

Mike: Samantha James, it is an honor. I have your poster on my wall, but you are so much hotter in person.
Samantha James: [coyly] I know!

Mike: Dude I think she left you hanging.
Chris: It's probably just an important businees call. Get off the phone.
Mike: What, the bar ran out of curly fries?
Chris: Get off the phone!
[losing his temper]
Mike: Dude are you gonna boink Jamie or what?
Chris: Yes! Are you happy now?
Mike: Alright.
Mike: Dude the Notebook is so gay.
Mike: Homo, homo...
[Mike makes noises down the phone with his tongue]
Mike: [Chris kicks down the bathroom door]

Samantha James: [Samantha shoves Mike against the bathroom wall] Where's Chris!
Mike: I'll never tell you anything!
Samantha James: Oh yeah?
[Passionately tongue kisses Mike]
Mike: Mmmm! Mmmm! Oh! Oh!
Samantha James: Ahhhhhh...
[Backs away]
Mike: He's with his lover!