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Quotes for
Engelberg (Character)
from The Bad News Bears (1976)

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The Bad News Bears (1976)
Engelberg: You're not supposed to have open liquor in the car. It's against the law.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: So is murder, Engleberg. Now put that back before you get me in real trouble.

Coach Morris Buttermaker: [looks at Tanner's black eye] What the hell happened to you, Tanner?
Engelberg: Tanner got into a fight
[because of the first game loss]
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Who with?
Engelberg: The 7th Grade.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: What?
Engelberg: [shouts] The 7th Grade.

Engelberg: [helping Buttermaker clean pools] When we're through, can we go swimming?
Coach Morris Buttermaker: No! Don't jump in Engleberg, you'll flood the valley.

[hitting batting practice]
Coach Morris Buttermaker: [yells to infield] All right, look alive! Let's get one out there!
[to Engleberg]
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Are you ready?
[Buttermaker bunts in front of the plate]
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Engleberg?
Engelberg: [exasperated] What?
Coach Morris Buttermaker: That is a bunt - B-U-N-T. The catcher is supposed to pick up the bunt and throw it to first base.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Well, how was I supposed to know? You made such a big deal yelling out to them.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: [sighs] Diversionary tactic, Engleberg. Now get the ball...

Coach Morris Buttermaker: Hey, can't you hold off of that until after practice?
Engelberg: There's energy in chocolate. I need energy.

Engelberg: [Takes half-empty pint of whiskey from Buttermaker's glove box and holds it up] You're not supposed to have open liquor in the car. It's against the law.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: So is murder, Engelberg. Now put it back before you get me into real trouble.

Coach Morris Buttermaker: Now, guys, somebody's gonna pay for this windshield. And I think, Engelberg, it's gonna be your father.
Engelberg: Bullshit.

The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training (1977)
Mike Engelberg: Hey Kelly can we make another stop?
Kelly Leak: Engelberg can't you just...
Mike Engelberg: Look it happens I can't control things like this...

Mike Engelberg: Couldn't you throw it a little harder please? They're hitting every one you throw!

Mike Engelberg: [entire Bears team singing] Won't your mother be disgusted when she finds her son is busted, footprint on the dashboard upside down, yee haw! Won't she scream in your ear when she finds you with that beer, grinin' and a stumblin all around yee haw!

Mike Engelberg: [after a huge fight between Carmen and Tanner, Engelberg is on the phone with KFC] Hey, what do you mean biscuits and coleslaw are extra?

Bad News Bears (2005)
Mike Engelberg: [Buttermaker falls down drunk] Is he dead?
Prem Lahiri: No, he is drunk.
Tanner Boyle: Screw this, man, I'm takin' his wallet.

Morris Buttermaker: Is that a baggy full of bacon?
Mike Engelberg: I'm on Atkins!

Mike Engelberg: Gotta protect the family jewels.
Tanner Boyle: Who are you kidding. When's the last time you even saw them?

"The Bad News Bears: The Kelly Story (#1.4)" (1979)
Morris Buttermaker: Come on, Engelberg! Show 'em what you're made of!
Engelberg: Is that a fat joke?
Morris Buttermaker: I'll tell you when it's a fat joke!

"The Bad News Bears: The Food Caper (#1.7)" (1979)
[Engelberg is getting weighed]
Tanner Boyle: Shouldn't we take him out to the truck scale?
Mike Engelberg: Is that a fat joke?
Morris Buttermaker: No, it's a truck joke.