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: If we were interested in making money, we wouldn't have become teachers.
: I love you with every cell, with every atom. I love you on a subatomic level.
Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard
: I was just gonna, you know, grade my lunch, eat a few tests and hope for the best. Martha George
: [about the excitement of getting married
] How do you hold it in? Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard
: [thinking she meant waste
] Well, like everybody else, Ruthie. I just cross my legs real tight. Martha George
: [gets a little tickled by that answer
] I was talking about your excitement.
: Maybe you should just go without me. Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard
: Why? Weebo
: Because I get car sick. Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard
: Oh, come on. You're not gonna blow chips. Weebo
: No! Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard
: You don't have a stomach. Weebo
: I have a queasy gyro.
: What happened between us, Phil? Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard
: Well, I just got tired of you stealing my ideas, Wilson.
: I'm not an innovator like you, Phil. I'm an adapter, and to that end, I have profited from your ideas. Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard
: Why are you here? Wilson Croft
: Well, to be honest. I'm here this weekend to steal your fiancee. And make her my wife. Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard
: Well, I think you'll be sadly disappointed.
[after two of Brainard's balls hit Smith and Wesson while testing the Flubber, the bowling ball knocks the cap off a tank of a compressed gas
] Phillip Brainard
: [high-pitched voice
] This definitely has applications in the field of sports. Ho, ho, ho! Yes!
[Brainard and Reynolds are visiting Hoenicker to discuss the Flubber
] Chester Hoenicker
: You came to repay your loan? Phillip Brainard
: No. Chester Hoenicker
: I know you didn't. I was just having a little fun. Phillip Brainard
: I'm here to sell you the Flubber. Chester Hoenicker
: You been to your house recently? Phillip Brainard
: Yes. Chester Hoenicker
: Do I really need to buy it? Phillip Brainard
: Flubber's a very quixotic substance. It's very difficult to handle. Have you tried to do anything with it? Chester Hoenicker
: My man is working on it. It won't be a problem. Phillip Brainard
: Well, I could make it a lot easier for you. If you give us a 30 day extension on the loan, I'll tell you everything I know... and make you a great deal of Flubber. Chester Hoenicker
: I'll give you the 30 days, and after that you give me two years. Whatever you come up with over the next two years is mine. Sara Reynolds
: That's not fair. Chester Hoenicker
: Shop somewhere else, lady. Phillip Brainard
: Sara. Sara. I'll do it.
: Weebo - - I've just solved all our problems! Weebo
: [showing an image of Dumbo on her display screen
] I'm all ears.
Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard
: [to Sara, before he attempts to fall out the window with the flubber springing him back up
] Ta-ta, my love. Sara Reynolds
] Are you nuts? Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard
: I'll be right back!
[the flubber flys out of Phillip's back pocket. Phillip falls to the ground
] Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard
: Ouch. Sara Reynolds
: Phillip, are you hurt? Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard
] Just my pride.