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[after stumbling on the sidewalk
] Captain Stillman
: Have that removed.
: All right, soldier, let's see how you fire that mortar. Soldier with Mortar
: What coordinates, sir? Captain Stillman
] Coordinates? Soldier with Mortar
: Yes, sir, they determine where the mortar's... Captain Stillman
: Soldier, the army has spent a lot of money teaching you to fire that thing. Now set it and fire it. Soldier with Mortar
: Sir, we don't know where the shell's gonna... Captain Stillman
: Soldier. The only way to learn anything is to do it. Now fire the weapon.
: Where the fuck's my truck? Where - ? *Where's* *my* *truck*? Hey, where's the EM-50? Soldier Outside Motor Pool
: A couple of soldiers took it to get it washed sir.
: [spying on female soldiers taking showers
] I wish I was a loofah.
: Well, explain yourselves. Dewey Oxburger
: Well sir, we were going to this bingo parlor at the YMCA, well one thing led to another, and the instructions got all fouled up... Captain Stillman
: Shut up. Dewey Oxburger
: Okay, Sir. Captain Stillman
: You men are a *disgrace*. Maybe a few days in the stockade will help you change your rotten attitudes. Cruiser
: But, um, we're supposed to graduate tomorrow, sir. Captain Stillman
: That's even better. Tomorrow, you'll be on parade in front of General Barnicke. And when he sees what total fuck-ups you are, I will recommend that your whole platoon repeat the entire course of basic training.
] You screw this up, Stillman... and I'll have you assigned to a weather station above the Artic Circle! You got that? Captain Stillman
] Yes, sir... thank you, sir. Col. Glass
[turns and leaves
Corporal, Stillman's aide
: [Stillman is in his office, using a telescope to spy out his window and into the women's shower... Glass and the corporal walk in
] Excuse me, C-C-Captain... Captain Stillman
] When I don't want to be disturbed... Col. Glass
] STILLMAN! Captain Stillman
: [breaks the window and sends the telescope through it, then turns around and stands at attention
] Yes, sir! Corporal, Stillman's aide
: Colonel Glass to see you, sir. Captain Stillman
: I can see that, Corporal! Dismissed.
] Captain Stillman
: Oh, it's a pleasure to see you, sir! Col. Glass
: Let's skip the bullshit, Captain. I have a problem, and I need your help. Are you familiar with the EM-50 project we have in Italy? Captain Stillman
: Yes... it's a tank... or something. Col. Glass
] It's an Urban Assault Vehicle!