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Quotes for
Iris Clark (Character)
from Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999)

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Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999)
Gladys Leeman: [looking for a parking space] You'd think they'd have the parking lot of America to go with the Mall of America.
[Gladys parks in a handicapped parking space]
Iris Clark: That's a $200 fine!
Gladys Leeman: I told ya I would move the car if a cripple came. Now just run in the store and pick out some outfits.

Iris Clark: Amber, I'm sorry, I really am, but you know the rules. All talent costumes have to be OK'd by Gladys before the pageant.
Amber Atkins: But doesn't someone taking your costume so you can't complete overrule that rule?
Iris Clark: Amber, I'm sorry, I don't make up the rules.
Amber Atkins: Oh! This... This is bullshit!
Iris Clark: Amber Atkins, that is not American Teen Princess language!
Amber Atkins: Good, cos this isn't an American Teen Princess Pageant! This is... This is... This is Nazi Germany!
[she storms off]
Iris Clark: [to the camera] Where do they get this stuff?

Gladys Leeman: [nearly runs over a priest] Gosh darn it! Hello, Father Donegan - Sidewalks? Sidewalks?
[Iris mimes drinking - "glug, glug"]
Gladys Leeman: Iris, stop it. It's not his fault, the communal wine just proves too tempting for some of them.
Iris Clark: And that's why we Lutherans use grape Kool-Aid for the blood of Christ.

Voice of Documentarian: Do you think that most people would say that teenage beauty pageants are a good idea?
Gladys Leeman: Oh yeah, sure. I know what some of your big city, no-bra-wearing, hairy-legged women libbers might say. They might say that a pageant is old-fashioned and demeaning to the girls.
Iris Clark: What's sick is women dressing like men.
Gladys Leeman: You betcha, Iris. No, I think you boys are gonna find something a litle bit different here in Mount Rose. For one thing, we're all God-fearing folk, every last one of us. And you will not find a "back room" in our video store. No, no, that filth is better left to the sin cities.
Iris Clark: AKA Minneapolis Saint Paul.