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Quotes for
Clown (Character)
from Spawn (1997)

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Spawn (1997)
Clown: I love the smell of burning asphalt in the morning.

Clown: You're dead. D-E-D. Dead.

Clown: I say destroy the cosmos, ask questions later.

Clown: Ooh. Burnt man walkin'.

Clown: [as Wanda] You pansy bacon crisp!

Clown: Wynn and Wanda sitting in a tree, S-U-C-K-I-N-G

Clown: [while acting as a clown at Cyan's birthday party] I've got more tricks than a hooker!

Clown: If you strike oil, half of it is mine.

Clown: [farts] Oops. A wet one. I hope I didn't stain my underwear. Look at that. Skid marks.

Clown: In the name of the people and things of Hell, I dub thee... Spawn, general of Hell's armies. Arise, Your Crispness! Arise, Duke of Deep-Fried! Sultan of Sizzling! Emir of Ooey-Gooey!

Spawn: Aah! Feels like my skin is about to explode.
Clown: That's just your viral necroplasm going through its larval stage. Pretty soon you're going to get hair in funny places, and you're gonna start thinking about girls. Ha! Getting a chubby, studly? A half guy, semi?

Spawn: Just get me to a hospital.
Clown: A hospital? Have you looked in a mirror lately, burnt man walking? Even the entire cast of "E.R." couldn't put you back together again.

Clown: [imitating Jimmy Stewart] "Uh, well, well, every time someone farts, a demon gets his wings."
Clown: [farts twice]
Clown: Oops, twins.

Spawn: God.
Clown: [covering ears] Aah! Did you have to use the "G" word? La la la la la la.

Clown: I'm gonna cut you into 50 pieces and mail you to every state.

Jason Wynn: He killed Priest! He damn near killed me!
Clown: You say that like it's a bad thing.

Spawn: What... is this?
Clown: Ooh, boy you are tied to that track and that stupid train just kept running over you now, didn't it? Running over you.

Clown: Oh, there you are. I've been looking everywhere for you. Bad crispy! Bad crispy! Clown not like.

Clown: Come on, my barbecued friend. Don't want to keep that side order of potato salad waiting, now do we?

Clown: Why do you people always question? Why ask why, when *how* is so much more fun?

Clown: [in cheerleader get-up as he watches Cyan] What a pretty little dress. I wonder if she's it in my size?
[begins cheering]
Clown: Spawnie, Spawnie, he's our man, if he can't kill 'em, no one can. Yay, Spawnie! S to the P to the A to the AWN, S to the P to the A to the AWN. Go, Spawnie, go Spawnie.

Clown: How come God hogs up all the good followers, and we're left with the retards?

Clown: [to a group of would-be Satanists] Shocked and amazed at the wonders of necroflesh? You're not alone. For a limited time only, you too can have this handsome epidermis for the eensy price of your soul and a buttload of pain.

Clown: The master and I are going to have words. He knows I hate clowns. God, I hate them. I hate them all. I hate Bozo, Ronald, Chuckles with their freakin' dumb noses and their lousy party hats! Arrgh! I don't mind being short, fat, and ugly, but the pay sucks!

Clown: No more clowning around. I'm not the Vindicator or the Victimizer or the Vaporizer or the Vibrator! I'm...
[shouts]
Clown: The Violator!

Spawn: You filthy little piece of vermin. What makes you think I would join your army? You can take that army of yours and shove it.
Clown: Sounds like a country song.
[singing]
Clown: "You can take that army of yours and shove it. You can take that..."
[stops]
Clown: Uh-oh. You've got that, "I want to beat the fat little man" look in your eyes.

Clown: Open wide and say, "AAH"!

Clown: [imitating Arnold Schwarzenegger] You have been violated little girly man.

Clown: [after Spawn cuts off his head] You're gonna pay for this. It's not over yet. I'll gum you to death. I'll bite you.
[tries to pick his head up with his tongue]
Clown: Hey, Wanda, how do you think of my little head, huh?
[the rest of his body melts as well as his head]
Clown: This is your last to join up. Think about it. Come on.
[his head continues to melt]
Clown: You'll pay for this.

Spawn: NO!
Clown: Oh, come on. You scream like a girl. Do it like this.
[high pitched]
Clown: AAAH! Someone's a little angry 'cause they died and went to...
[singing]
Clown: / Hello, my mutant, Hello, my carcass, Hello, my bug-infested corpse. /


"Spawn: Endgame (#1.6)" (1997)
Clown: [after seeing Spawn decide to spare Billy's life] What the fuck? hey you assholes that wasn't in the goddamn script! I don't think you realize what's at steak here, get with the fucking program!
[walks up to Billy]
Clown: Get up you worthless sack of shit!
Billy Kincaid: [gets up weakly] I want my ice cream
Clown: [to Billy] Sorry asshole we're all out of ice cream!
[pulls out a gun and shoots Billy in the head]
Clown: Good help is so goddamn hard to find!
[laughs and turns towards Spawn]
Clown: [in a sing-song voice] You make a fucking deal, the boss won't be happy when he hears about this, you really fucked yourself this time!
[turns into the Violator]
Clown: This ain't over Spawn, you made a fucking deal!
[laughs evilly]