Annie Savoy
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Quotes for
Annie Savoy (Character)
from Bull Durham (1988)

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Bull Durham (1988)
[first lines]
Annie Savoy: [narrating] I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there's no guilt in baseball, and it's never boring,
[giggles]
Annie Savoy: which makes it like sex. There's never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn't have the best year of his career. Making love is like hitting a baseball: you just gotta relax and concentrate. Besides, I'd never sleep with a player hitting under .250, not unless he had a lot of RBIs and was a great glove man up the middle. You see, there's a certain amount of life wisdom I give these boys. I can expand their minds. Sometimes when I got a ballplayer alone, I'll just read Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman to him, and the guys are so sweet, they always stay and listen. 'Course, a guy'll listen to anything if he thinks it's foreplay. I make them feel confident, and they make me feel safe, and pretty. 'Course, what I give them lasts a lifetime; what they give me lasts 142 games. Sometimes it seems like a bad trade. But bad trades are part of baseball - now who can forget Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas, for God's sake? It's a long season and you gotta trust it. I've tried 'em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball.

Annie Savoy: The world is made for people who aren't cursed with self awareness.

Crash Davis: I never told him to stay out of your bed.
Annie Savoy: You most certainly did.
Crash Davis: I never told him to stay out of your bed.
Annie Savoy: Yes you did.
Crash Davis: I told him that a player on a streak has to respect the streak.
Annie Savoy: Oh fine.
Crash Davis: You know why? Because they don't - -they don't happen very often.
Annie Savoy: Right.
Crash Davis: If you believe you're playing well because you're getting laid, or because you're not getting laid, or because you wear women's underwear, then you *are*! And you should know that!
[long pause]
Crash Davis: Come on, Annie, think of something clever to say, huh? Something full of magic, religion, bullshit. Come on, dazzle me.
Annie Savoy: I want you.

Crash Davis: Last chance. Your place or mine?
Annie Savoy: Despite my rejection of most Judeo-Christian ethics, I am, within the framework of the baseball season, monogamous.

Annie Savoy: These are the ground rules. I hook up with one guy a season. Usually takes me a couple weeks to pick the guy - kinda my own spring training. And, well, you two are the most promising prospects of the season so far, so I just thought we should kinda get to know each other.
Crash Davis: Time out. Why do you get to choose?
Annie Savoy: What?
Crash Davis: Why do you get to choose? I mean, why don't I get to choose, why doesn't he get to choose?
Annie Savoy: Well, actually, nobody on this planet ever really chooses each other. I mean, it's all a question of quantum physics, molecular attraction, and timing. Why, there are laws we don't understand that bring us together and tear us apart. Uh, it's like pheromones. You get three ants together, they can't do dick. You get 300 million of them, they can build a cathedral.
[Crash laughs]
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: So is somebody going to go to bed with somebody or what?
Annie Savoy: Honey, you are a regular nuclear meltdown. You better cool off. Ha ha, ha ha!
[to Crash as he stands up]
Annie Savoy: Oh, where are you going?
Crash Davis: After 12 years in the minor leagues, I don't try out. Besides, uh, I don't believe in quantum physics when it comes to matters of the heart.
Annie Savoy: What do you believe in, then?
Crash Davis: Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.
[pauses then winks and walks away]
Crash Davis: Goodnight.
Annie Savoy: Oh my. Crash...
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: Hey, Annie, what's all this molecule stuff?

Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: The other day Crash called a woman's pu... pussy... um, well, you know how the hair is kind of in a V-shape?
Annie Savoy: Yes, I do.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: Well, he called it the Bermuda Triangle. He said that a man could get lost in there and never be heard from again.

Annie Savoy: [narrating] Baseball may be a religion full of magic, cosmic truth, and the fundamental ontological riddles of our time, but it's also a job.

Annie Savoy: Right, honey, let's get down to it. How was Ebby Calvin LaLoosh?
Millie: Well, he fucks like he pitches - sorta all over the place.

Annie Savoy: Listen, sweetheart, you shouldn't listen to what a woman says when she's in the throes of passion. They say the darndest things.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: Yeah, you said "Crash"!
Annie Savoy: Honey, would you rather I were making love to him using your name, or making love to you using his name?

[last lines]
Annie Savoy: [narrating] Walt Whitman once said, "I see great things in baseball. It's our game, the American game. It will repair our losses and be a blessing to us." You could look it up.

Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: You're playing with my mind.
Annie Savoy: I'm *trying* to play with your body.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: I knew it, you're trying to seduce me!
Annie Savoy: Well of course I'm trying to seduce you, for God's sake, and I'm doing a damn poor job of it... Aren't I pretty?
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: God, I think you're real cute.
Annie Savoy: Cute? Baby ducks are cute, I HATE cute! I want to be exotic, and mysterious!
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: You are, you're exotic, and mysterious, and... cute... and... That's why I'd better leave.

Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: Ooh, I've heard of stuff like this.
Annie Savoy: Yeah? Have you heard of Walt Whitman?
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: No. Who's he play for?

Teddy Cullinane: [broadcasting on the radio] I've never seen Crash so angry. And frankly, sports fans, he used a word that's a no-no with umpires.
Millie: [Annie snaps off the radio] Crash must've called the guy a cocksucker.
Annie: Mmmmm. How romantic.

Millie: [Annie is fitting Millie in her wedding dress] Annie... do you think I deserve to wear white?
Annie Savoy: Honey, we all deserve to wear white.

Annie Savoy: I think probably with my love of four-legged creatures and hooves and everything, that in another lifetime I was probably Catherine the Great, or Francis of Assisi. I'm not sure which one. What do you think?
Crash Davis: How come in former lifetimes, everybody is someone famous?
[Annie and Crash pause, then both laugh]
Crash Davis: I mean,
[still laughing]
Crash Davis: how come nobody ever says they were Joe Schmo?
Annie Savoy: [still laughing] Because it doesn't work that way, you fool!

Annie Savoy: [after Millie received the note from Crash to Annie] OK, what does it say?
Millie: It says, "I want to make love to you."
Annie Savoy: Oh my!
[Annie turns to look at Crash through the binoculars]