Denise Fleming
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Quotes for
Denise Fleming (Character)
from Can't Hardly Wait (1998)

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Can't Hardly Wait (1998)
Denise: Besides, I heard that song was about his dog.
Preston: It's not about a dog. It's about a woman named Amanda. Who the hell names their dog Amanda?
Denise: My cousin had a dog name Samantha.
Preston: Shut up about the dog, OK?

Denise: There's a mirror right there. Take a look, you're white.

[sees Kenny Fisher posing in a mirror]
Denise: Looks like someone's auditioning for "Soul Train."
Preston: Do you have to rat out on everybody?
Denise: Oh, come on! His wardrobe alone leaves him open for public mockery.

Denise: Just so you know, judging from my little experience, I kind of believe in fate. It just works in really fucked up ways sometimes.
Preston: Especially in your case. I'm sorry. You gave that to me, I just had to take it. Take care. Peace out, G!

Preston: I can't believe you pointed at her!
Denise: Look, she didn't see me! What are you, hyperventilating?
Preston: No, I'm hiransing my chi.
Denise: What?
Preston: I'm harnessing my chi.
[Denise laughs]
Preston: Don't laugh at me!
Denise: Were you this weird when we went out?
Preston: Were you this bitchy when we went out?
Denise: Yes, I was a bitchy eighth grader for that whole week, actually!

[During a yearbook signing]
Yearbook Girl: So why didn't you get your picture taken?
Denise: Specifically to avoid moments like this.
Yearbook Girl: [not paying attention] Great, thanks!

Kenny Fisher: Those shoes!
Denise: What?
Kenny Fisher: Do they serve an orthopedic function?

[the crying drunk girl walks up to Preston and Denise up on their arrival at the party]
Mary, Crying Drunk Girl: Thush bezt tea weveram sisu gizem chext ear!
[subtitle translation: This is the best party ever! I'm so gonna miss you guys next year!]
Preston: [watching the drunk girl stumble away] There's one at every party.
Denise: Kind of makes you never want to drink, huh?

Tassel Guy: Don't you want to keep your tassel? You know for $5, you can keep your tassel.
Denise: Yeah, then I can press it between my yearbook and my prom corsage.

Kenny Fisher: [Sitting on the sink] It's been on your mind the last six years, you could have mentioned something.
Denise: [Looks at him angrily] When? When you were ignoring me in the halls, when you were writing Denise Flemming is a tampon on my locker Freshman year!
Kenny Fisher: [Tries to worm his way out of it clearly embarrassed] I did not write Denise Flemming is a tampon.
Denise: Right, just like you didn't destroy my Cabbage Patch Kid in second grade.
Kenny Fisher: [Gives a shocked look that she remembered that] Second grade, besides I admitted that right away.
Denise: No you didn't! When I picked her up her head fell off and you started to cry. It kind of tipped me off.
Kenny Fisher: [Makes a face] I did not cry!
Denise: [Snorts] Ok.
Kenny Fisher: [Finally fesses up he that set someone else up to do the writing] Fine! I told John Kiseman to write Denise Flemming's a tampon. I felt really bad after.