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Walt
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Quotes for
Walt (Character)
from "The United States Steel Hour" (1953)

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Stuck on You (2003)
Walt: What's a four-letter word for snatch?
Bob: Grab.
Walt: Oh... right. Whoopsie.

Walt: She's got mace.

[Walt and Bob are considering separation]
Walt: Think about it. You'll be able to read a book alone, play golf by yourself,
[whispering]
Walt: masturbate in private like the good Lord intended.
Bob: What are you talking about?
Walt: Oh, please, last night it was like trying to sleep next to a paint-shaker.

April: Can I ask you a personal question?
Walt: Nine inches.

April: [after surgery to separate the twins] Bob, you look good.
Walt: He looks good. What am I chopped liver?
April: Actually, yeah.

Walt: Are you kidding? You could win an humanitarian award for how nice you were to us.
Cher: Aww... no. Well, really, is there talk of me getting one?
Walt: No, no, it's just a figure of speech.

Walt: What's a three-letter word for man's best friend?
April: Tit?
Walt: No, I've tried that already.

Morty O'Reilly: If you do this, you're committing career suicide.
Walt: That's what they said when Erik Estrada quit "CHiPS".
Morty O'Reilly: You're shitting me. He quit?

Walt: All right. Burgers on the house!
[everyone shouts "Yeah!"]
Bob: He's just kiddin', you cheap bastards.

Walt: Hey, Dave. How about another tall one?
Dave: Got it. How about you there, Bob?
Bob: No, no. No, I'm cool. I'm the designated walker tonight.

Walt: Christ Bob, you haven't been laid in five years.
Bob: Hey, how would you know?
[Walt gives him a serious look]
Bob: Damn.

Walt: Boozing with Cher... boozing with Cher...

Walt: She'll be back. Where else is she gonna find a guy like you?
Bob: I don't know. Chernobyl?

Walt: Times up Casanever. Can I join you for a drink?
Bar Hottie: Sure.
Walt: Okay, what's your name?
Bar Hottie: Debbie.
[they shake hands]
Walt: Hi I'm Walt Tenor.
Bar Hottie: Nice to meet you.
Walt: Nice to meet you!