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: My uncle was born in America. Nick Rivers
: Oh, really? Hillary Flammond
: But he was one of the lucky ones. He managed to escape in a balloon during the Jimmy Carter presidency.
: Is this the potato farm? Albert Potato, Resistance Member
: Yes, I'm Albert Potato.
: Listen to me, Hillary. I'm not the first guy who fell in love with a woman that he met at a restaurant who turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped scientist, only to lose her to her childhood lover who she last saw on a deserted island, who then turned out fifteen years later to be the leader of the French underground. Hillary Flammond
: I know. It all sounds like some bad movie.
[Long pause. Both look at camera
: Hillary. That's an unusual name. Hillary Flammond
: It's a German name. It means 'she whose bosoms defy gravity'. Nick Rivers
: I'm pleased to meet you. My name's Nick. Hillary Flammond
: Nick? What does that mean? Nick Rivers
: Oh, nothing. My dad thought of it while he was shaving.
[Introducing his men
] Du Quois
: This is Chevalier, Montage, Detente, Avant Garde, and Deja Vu. Deja Vu
: Haven't we met before monsieur ? Nick Rivers
: I don't think so. Du Quois
: Over there, Croissant, Souffle, Escargot, and Chocolate Mousse.
[on train at checkpoint
] Nick Rivers
: Where are they taking him? Colonel von Horst
: They are not taking him anywhere.
[gunshot is heard off screen
: Do you mind if I have a swig of this?
[picks up bottle
] Chocolate Mousse, Resistance Member
: Go right ahead. Nick Rivers
: [takes a mouthful, spits in disgust
] What the hell is this stuff? Chocolate Mousse, Resistance Member
[laughs and takes a swig himself
[Nick and Hillary arrive at the Potato Farm. Shetland pony is coughing
] Nick Rivers
: What's wrong with him? Wagon Driver
: Oh, he caught a cold last week and he's just a little hoarse.
: You see, a year ago, I was close to perfecting the first magnetic desalinization process so revolutionary, it was capable of removing the salt from over 500 million gallons of seawater a day. Do you realize what that could mean to the starving nations of the earth? Nick Rivers
: Wow. They'd have enough salt to last forever.
: [in German
] What do you recommend? Waiter
: [in German
] I recommend the pork bellies marinated in diced pig entrails or the roast swine knuckles poached with flaming hog balls. Nick Rivers
: Anything's fine.
: Are you in some kind of trouble with the police? Hillary Flammond
: Some things are much better left unsaid. Nick Rivers
: Like what? Hillary Flammond
: Well, you know... sometimes when you blow your nose into a tissue and you put it in your purse, then a little while later you have to reach in there for your lipstick or something, and your hand gushes into it, and it goes all over... Nick Rivers
: Okay, okay, you're right, you're right. Some things are better left unsaid.
: Seems as long as I know my way around that prison, I'll never be lonely.
Der Pizzahaus Girl
: Excuse me but aren't you Nick Rivers, the American rock 'n' roll star? Nick Rivers
: No. No I'm not. Der Pizzahaus Girl
: Oh, but you must be. If you could sing just one song... Nick Rivers
: I'm sorry but you must have me confused with someone else. I'm, uh... Mel Torme.
: Well, Mr. Rivers, it seems that you have become- How do you say indispensable? Nick Rivers
: Indispensable. Du Quois
: That's what I thought.
Chocolate Mousse, Resistance Member
: Something's wrong here. Where's the truck? Nick Rivers
: Where's Hillary? Deja Vu
: I'm hungry.
: Martin, I've been practicing. How this? Nick Rivers
: Ist Ihr Tochter achtzehn, bitte? Martin
: What does that mean? Nick Rivers
: Is your daughter eighteen?
: Come on. We've got to get out of here. Nick Rivers
: Don't you think we ought to wait for the police? Hillary Flammond
: That was the police!