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: Look, I can't just go up to him and say, "Hi, how are you?" I mean, it would make him suspicious. So, you know - anything - he gets... put off or... Sid Waterman
: Drown! Sondra Pransky
: What? Sid Waterman
: Drown! Drown! I'll go get co-, I'll go get co... Sondra Pransky
: [shakes her head
] Ach... Sid Waterman
: Listen to me! I'll go get coffee, you get a cramp. Go into the water, flounder around, you know... Sondra Pransky
] Ahh... Sid Waterman
: Yes! Go ahead, sweetheart. That's, that's a great idea. He'll oblige to save you that way and if he doesn't, you know, then I'll notify your parents.
: You are a cynical crapehanger who always see the glass half-empty! Sid Waterman
: No, you're wrong. I see the glass half full, but of poison.
] Sondra Pransky
: This guy is a serial killer! He could just kill at any moment! Sid Waterman
: Yeah, I heard that part. That's when I knew I was gonna make other plans.
: This'll be the biggest story to hit London since Jack the Ripper. Sondra Pransky
: Jack the Ripper. Is that capitalized?
] Sondra Pransky
: What are you going to tell the police? "The guy owns a deck of tarot cards... " that's not a crime!
: Who's Jade Spence? Sondra Pransky
: A would-be investigative reporter who has fallen in love with the object of her investigation.
: We need to put our heads together. Sondra Pransky
: If you put OUR heads together, you'll hear a hollow noise.
: You're a pretty girl. You know, I think you could probably get this guy to get interested in you. Sondra Pransky
: Oh, you're silly... Sid Waterman
: Yeah, particularly if he's got a twisted mind.
: How can we meet him? Sid Waterman
: You know, I don't know... They have a class system. He's an aristocrat and, you know, we're... we're commoners. In fact according to his system, we're... I think we're probably classified as scum.
: What are you putting in your metamucil?
: Not everything in this world is sinister... just practically everything. Sondra Pransky
: Ugh... the Indian food made me sick. Sid Waterman
: What? You barely touched your cobra salad, how can you be sick?
: [to Sid
] Stop telling people I sprang from your loins!
: You take after your father. Sondra Pransky
: Did you accomplish anything besides a possible pregnancy? Sondra Pransky
: I'll tell you what I did see: his mother, Lady Eleanor, has short-cut, brunette hair. Sid Waterman
] Yeah, but not a hooker? Sondra Pransky
: [shocked pause
] No, Sidney, she's not a hooker! I hardly think so. She's practically royalty. Christ, you amaze me sometimes. Your brain!
: Dad, I need to talk to you. Right now.
] Sid Waterman
: Right now, sweetie? I was just about to pull some quarters out of Mrs. Quincy's nose!
: What's wrong? Are you crying? Sondra Pransky
: No, I'm too tough to cry. My nasal passages do get congested when I'm sad, though.
: [Peter told them he'd be out of town but then they spotted him across the street
] I just can't believe he lied to me! Sid Waterman
: Maybe he's just doing something he's ashamed of, like maybe he belongs to these clubs where he dresses up as a crossdresser, or maybe he does folk dancing!
: I wouldn't be surprised if he asked me to marry him someday. Sid Waterman
: You come from an orthodox family, would they accept a serial killer?
: Why would Peter kill a prostitute? Sid Waterman
: Because it looks bad on his resume!
: Why don't you think about this as adding some excitement to your life? Sid Waterman
: Sweeheart, excitement in my life is dinner without heartburn after it.
: I just can't get the vision of you in your swimsuit out of my head. Sondra Pransky
: Oh I'm glad you liked it! It was marked down!
: What about Indian food, do you like spicy food? Sondra Pransky
: No, no, it's OK, I don't have that much of an appetite. Sid Waterman
: But you will, when they bring out the prawns in hydrochloric acid...
: Do you have a family? Sid Waterman
: I had a wife but sh... she dumped me if you can believe that. Sondra Pransky
: Somehow... Sid Waterman
: She thought I was immature and that I never grew up... I had a great rebuttal for her, I coulda nailed her, you know, but uh... I raised my hand, she would *not* call on me.
: You're the daughter I never had. Sondra Pransky
] Oh, Sidney... Sid Waterman
: No, no, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Cause I never wanted to have kids. I didn't because you have kids... what is it? You know you're nice to them... you bring them up... you suffer... y-you take care of them... and then they grow up and... and... and they accuse... uh... you of having Alzheimer's.
: I think it's time that we show my story to a real journalist. Sid Waterman
: What do you mean, a real journalist? Sondra Pransky
: One that's living.
: He asked me to go dancing with him. Sid Waterman
: That's perfect strategy. You worm your way in like a rodent or a roach, and as the crumbs fall off the table, you collect them and we analyze them.
: [Speaking of Strombel
] Look, the spirit appeared next to me. at first I thought he was one of your stooges. Sid Waterman
: I don't work with stooges. You know, because you gotta pay them health benefits.
: [about Sondra
] It's just so ironic. Because the way I first met her, I rescued her from drowning in our club pool, and she was a very, very weak swimmer. Sondra Pransky
[Peter turns and stares as Sondra comes into the room
] Sondra Pransky
: I was faking at the pool to get your attention. Actually, I used to be captain of the Brooklyn Community swim team.
: Peter Lyman. Yes, came in a few minutes ago. Sid Waterman
: What color bathing suit does he have on? Sondra Pransky
: Hey, what...? Sid Waterman
: I - do you want me clash with him?
: [at Peter Lyman's garden party
] Should we hit the buffet table first, though? Because the stuff looks great. Sondra Pransky
: No, Dad! Remember, we wanted to look around. Sid Waterman
: Yes, of course, of course, blessed offspring.