Charlie McKay
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Quotes for
Charlie McKay (Character)
from Kate & Leopold (2001)

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Kate & Leopold (2001)
Charlie: Don't you think it's time you told me who you are. I mean, don't get me wrong, doing the Duke thing with you 24/7 is a blast, but really. Who are you?
Leopold: [after a pause, simply] I'm the man that loves your sister.

Charlie: We have a saying in the McKay house: "You shake and shake the ketchup bottle, none will come, and then a lot'll."

[Leopold and Charlie leave the club. Charlie is fuming because Leopold has enthralled Patrice, Charlie's love interest]
Charlie: And I would have gotten her number if you hadn't turned the evening into a guided tour of the Louvre!
Leopold: My apologies.
Charlie: Let's get one thing straight. Patrice, she thought you were cute - probably gay, and cute - and cute, Leo, that's just the kiss of death.
Leopold: Perhaps.
Charlie: Perhaps? Certainly!
Leopold: [produces a napkin] I believe this is her number.
[Charlie takes it from him in disbelief]
Leopold: As I see it, Patrice has not an inkling of your affections, and it's no wonder. You, Charles, are a merry-andrew.
Charlie: A what?
Leopold: Everything plays a farce to you. Women respond to sincerity. No-one wants to be romanced by a buffoon. Now, that number rings her.
Charlie: Yes?
Leopold: So ring her tomorrow.
Charlie: I can't. She gave the number to you.
Leopold: Only because I told her of your affections.
Charlie: [taken aback] Wha - what did you say?
Leopold: Merely that you admired her, but you were hesitant to make an overture, as you'd been told she was courting another.
Charlie: Shit... that's good! Well, what did she say?
Leopold: She handed me the napkin.
[Charlie rushes under a lit store window to read the napkin, and starts dialing his cell phone]
Leopold: Charles, it's quite late.
Charlie: No, no, she won't be home yet. I get her machine and leave a message, ball's in her court.
Leopold: You're ladling calculation upon comedy. The point is, to keep the ball in *your* court.
Charlie: [slaps his phone shut] You're right! You're right!

Charlie: You want to vex my sister!

Charlie: Victorian dude, who has never seen a Met's game, watching TV. Scene: "I say, are those little people in that box of phosphors. Crikey, I believe it is. This game is more beguiling than cricket"

Charlie: [about the dishwasher] And you push this button. Word to the wise: don't press that till she wakes up, so she sees you doing it.
Leopold: How clever. The proverbial tree in the woods.
Charlie: If a man washes a dish, and no one sees it...
Charlie, Leopold: - did it happen?
Charlie: Right.

Charlie: [Charlie, obviously drunk, is entertaining his friends with stories from acting camp] He started squirting everybody with this turkey baster and screaming "Un-sex me! Un-sex me!"
Dennis: Wasn't Willem Dafoe in that group?
Charlie: Yeah, and he went on to talk about how a lot of secrets are hidden in people's basements...
Leopold: Like the Louvre?
[everybody pauses and looks at Leo]
Leopold: I'm sorry, Charles, you were saying?
Patrice: What about the Louvre?
Monica: Yeah, tell us what you were going to say.
Leopold: Well, not all of the artwork in the Louvre is on the walls. Some is in the basement.
Patrice: You've been in the basement of the Louvre?
Leopold: Why, yes!
Patrice: I was a art history major at Vassar!
Leopold: Ahhhh...