Eric Murphy
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Quotes for
Eric Murphy (Character)
from "Entourage" (2004)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Entourage (2015)
Eric Murphy: We can't finish the movie without money.
Ari Gold: Really? Because I thought we could finish it with Fruit Loops.
Eric Murphy: You're funny. But did you tell Vince, because he's on his way to editing.
Ari Gold: I'm telling you. Because it is your job, along with going over budget and being short, to tell him these things.

Eric Murphy: [after drinking Drama's drug cocktail] I feel strange.
Billy Walsh: Strange how?
Eric Murphy: My dick gets hard every time a girl looks at me.
Billy Walsh: Like today or always?

Johnny Chase: Seriously bro, fuck Ari.
E: Yeah, fuck him.
Turtle: Fuck Ari.
Vincent Chase: Thanks guys.
[E receives a text]
E: It's Ari.
Johnny Chase: ...Think he heard us?

Turtle: Jesus Christ, this guy snuck into another relationship.
Eric Murphy: It's not a relationship. I'm just having fun.
Johnny Chase: Fun is when you forget a girl's name while you're fucking her.

Travis McCredle: I know we met before but what is your involvement in this again?
Eric Murphy: I'm the producer of the movie.
Vincent Chase: And he's my manager.
Travis McCredle: OH! Yeah, uh, you were the guy on Piers Morgan spinning pizza dough, right? Vince, you take care of more people than the Red Cross, huh?

Ari Gold: [arriving at the screening] What did I do wrong with my life? Is this a normal Tuesday afternoon?
Eric Murphy: You should see our Wednesday parties.

Andrew Dice Clay: Yo E, this place is sick. When did Vince buy it?
Eric Murphy: It's not Vince's. It's Turtle's.
Andrew Dice Clay: You're kidding me. How much did this fucking guy make?

Travis McCredle: Fuck me. Is that Emily Ratajkowski over there talking to Vinnie Chase?
Eric Murphy: Sure is.
Ari Gold: You want to meet her?
Travis McCredle: I want to marry her, but you have to start somewhere.

Johnny Chase: Look, all I'm saying is, you don't have to fall in love with every girl you fuck.
Eric Murphy: You know, what I'm saying is that, unlike you, I like to have more of a connection than weather or not I have exact change.
Johnny Chase: Please, I haven't paid for pussy in years... At least a year!


"Entourage: Date Night (#1.4)" (2004)
Ari Gold: Who's got the number one movie in the country, motherfucker?
Eric Murphy: We beat the squirrel?
Ari Gold: Number one live action film in the country!

Eric Murphy: Did you even get a date yet, Turtle?
Turtle: Course I got a date. We have to pick her up from the Burbank Airport in one hour.
Eric Murphy: What is she? A Russian mail order bride?

Ari Gold: I had video sex with an Ecuadorian girl this morning.
Eric Murphy: I hope she was 18. Federal offense if not.

Eric Murphy: Name one girl you ever pulled off the internet.
Turtle: There's all sorts of confidentiality agreements with these sites. I ain't telling you shit!

Vincent Chase: [about Drama, after he is late to cook breakfast] He got a girl.
Eric Murphy: Really, who?
Turtle: I don't know, he must have ordered in late night. Woke me up at like 4:30. Sounded like a couple of baboons fuckin'.

Eric Murphy: What time is it?
Ari Gold: It's time for you to wake the fuck up. I already shot a 72 bitch!
Eric Murphy: What on the front 9?
Ari Gold: Yeah, that's funny cunty.

Turtle: It'll be like Prom.
Eric Murphy: So I guess you won't have a date then?
Turtle: I told you ten thousand fucking times, she had food poisoning.

Ari Gold: You think my assistant's hot?
Eric Murphy: Yeah, I do.
Ari Gold: I think I'll hit that.

Vincent Chase: [Talking about his new movie] I can't watch myself again.
Johnny 'Drama' Chase: I love watching myself.
Eric Murphy: Too bad the audience doesn't.


"Entourage: The Sundance Kids (#2.7)" (2005)
Johnny "Drama" Chase: In Palm Springs, I had a king-size bed all to myself.
Eric Murphy: Yeah, he tried to bang a bunch of senior citizens, but he was a non-closer.

Johnny "Drama" Chase: On the way here, I was dreaming of hooking up with a nice Mormon girl.
Turtle: So why don't you go after a Mormon, Drama? I mean they're all over the place here. Besides, everyone knows they know how to treat their man right. They're like Catholic girls times one hundred.
Eric Murphy: You think the night before a Mormon wedding a guy says, "How am I gonna sleep with the same eight women for the rest of my life?"

Turtle: We accidentally crossed swords.
Eric Murphy: Ew.
Vincent Chase: Really? Where there any women there at least?
Turtle: Yeah, dick, it was a threesome, okay? It's no biggie... crossing is an occupational hazard.

Johnny Drama: On the way here, I was dreaming of hooking up with a nice Mormon girl.
Turtle: So why don't you go after a Mormon, Drama? I mean, they're all over the place here. Besides, everyone knows they know how to treat their man right. They're like Catholic girls times one hundred.
Eric: You think the night before a Mormon wedding a guy says "How am I gonna sleep with the same eight women for the rest of my life?"

Turtle: What about when you divorce all your wives? They get an eighth of all your property.
Eric: No, Turtle, it's a ninth. Otherwise, Vince wouldn't get shit.
Vince: Good lookin' out, E!

Vincent Chase: I hear the slopes out here are insane.
Johnny "Drama" Chase: Give me a break! Anywhere where you can ski in short sleeves is for pussies. I mean, they got no ice out here.
Eric Murphy: Who wants to ski on ice?
Johnny "Drama" Chase: Men, E, men who like speed.
Turtle: I'm with Drama, there's nothing like the possibility of a good head on collision.
Johnny "Drama" Chase: I mean, if you can ski Hunter Mountain, you can ski anywhere!


"Entourage: Chinatown (#2.6)" (2005)
Johnny "Drama" Chase: Yeah, I remember my first national commercial.
Eric Murphy: Oh what was that Valtrex?
Johnny "Drama" Chase: Yeah it was, so fucking what? Got me my Fiat, plus I got a blowjob from the makeup girl... put my sores on.

Eric Murphy: Ari, I'm getting killed here. Vince isn't happy.
Ari Gold: Of course he's not happy. Nobody's happy in this town except for the losers. Look at me, I'm miserable... that's why I'm rich.

Ari Gold: I tell you what, Domino's is hiring. Why don't you put that little pizza sign on top of your Maserati? Now that is comedy.
Eric Murphy: Getting dragged through your office in front of your entire staff by a guy half your size, now that's tragedy.

Eric Murphy: He says he doesn't wanna do a commercial... that's it.
Ari Gold: For half a million dollars.
Vincent Chase: What was the director's name again?
Ari Gold: Cha-ching! I'm sorry... Chaing Chung, boom!

Ari Gold: I got the cash you wanted.
Eric Murphy: Oh yeah? What, did you dust your tranny gear and hit Santa Monica Blvd.?


"Entourage: The Boys Are Back in Town (#2.1)" (2005)
Eric: [after the boys get back from shooting Queens Boulevard] We know what we want to do next.
Ari Gold: What, the fucking Belt Parkway?

Johnny 'Drama' Chase: Vince, you ever go three months without pussy?
Turtle: Vince ain't ever gone three days.
Vincent Chase: No, wait, that's not true. Sophomore year.
Turtle: Really?
Eric: Yeah, but you had mono.

Eric: [Eric and Ari are discussing film roles for Vince] Tom Cruise is going to play Pablo Escobar? C'mon, the guy's not even Hispanic.
Ari Gold: Yeah, and Hilary Swank has a vagina, and she won an Oscar pretending she has a dick. That's what actors do. They pretend.
Eric: All right, I get it, I get it, okay. So what if Cruise passes?
Ari Gold: Then they go to Brad Pitt. He passes, they go to Keanu Reeves, and on down the list.
Eric: Where is Vince on that list?
Ari Gold: He ain't on the list.
Eric: Well, how do we get him on the list?
Ari Gold: You do 'Aquaman' you stupid fuck!

Eric: [about turning down Aquaman for Medeean] We wanna do it.
Ari Gold: Yeah, and I wanna fuck Angelina Jolie. The only difference is, I might actually have a shot.


"Entourage: Crash and Burn (#3.5)" (2006)
Ari Gold: [on the phone with E] Where are you? It sounds like you're getting fucked with a jackhammer.
Sarah Gold: $10 in the curse jar, daddy.
Eric Murphy: I'm test driving a new car.
Ari Gold: Matchbox or Hot Wheels?

Eric Murphy: He's already started to learn Spanish.
Ari Gold: I know, he's left 15 messages on the machine. The wife thinks I'm fucking the gardener.

Johnny Drama: Just like Tiger at Sawgrass!
Eric: More like my six year old niece at Nunley's, Drama.

Paul Haggis: In this movie I'd like you to play what I call a human being. You see, together I want to humanize one of the greatest monsters of all time. What I want is that even after the audience sees you ruthlessly slaughter, like, a thousand people, I still want them to care. I want them to care so much, that when you die they fuckin' weep. They won't want to, they'll hate themselves for it, but they will fucking weep.
Vincent Chase: I have to do this movie.
Eric: Paul, he's got a contract.
Paul Haggis: A contract? Oh, if I let contracts run my life I'd still be doing The Facts of Life rather then hangin' with my boys.
[Indicates his trophy case]


"Entourage: Vegas Baby, Vegas! (#3.9)" (2006)
Vincent Chase: So, what you're saying is that we should go.
Eric Murphy: Have I ever said "no" to Vegas?
Turtle: Be like saying "no" to a blowjob.

Eric Murphy: Tradition... when we were kids, we'd hit A.C., we put 5 bucks on red. We win, we knew it'd be a good weekend.
Ari Gold: What if you lose?
Turtle: Vince never loses.
Vincent Chase: Five on red.
Turtle: Come on!
Roulette Dealer: Red 16.
Vincent Chase: It's gonna be a good weekend.

Eric Murphy: Hey, jerkoff. You signed him up to judge a stripper contest.
Turtle: Really? Titties?
Eric Murphy: It's a stripper contest.
Turtle: Nice.

Turtle: Yeah, you're really entering your latter years gracefully.
[Johnny Drama walks in wearing a robe]
Eric Murphy: Speaking of latter years...


"Entourage: Talk Show (#1.3)" (2004)
Eric: [to Drama] The only person you ever loved is yourself.
Johnny Drama: What's not to love.

Eric: So, you wanna talk about Kimmel?
Johnny Drama: Jimmy Kimmel?
Eric: Yeah, Vince is doin the show tonight.
Johnny Drama: Fuck Jimmy Kimmel!

Emily: You smoke?
Eric: Cigerettes? Um... yeah. I mean I've been trying to quit... uhm recently.
Emily: How hard are you trying?
Eric: Uhm... not that much.
[laughs]
Emily: Good.
[nods head towards door]
Emily: [they both go out]
Turtle: I thought he quit.
Johnny Drama: Cigerettes, not pussy.

Eric: We had breakup-sex, all right?
Johnny Drama: Breakup-sex? Never heard of it.
Eric: Yeah, I mean... you know... you have sex and... that's it - you say goodbye.
Johnny Drama: [pauses to think] That's the only kinda sex I have.


"Entourage: Strange Days (#3.7)" (2006)
Vincent Chase: Besides the fact the L.A. Times compared me to Terrell Owens, I'm doing great.
Eric Murphy: You hear that, Ari?
Ari Gold: The Eagles got rid of T.O. and look where they landed. Aquaman 2 is going to make Speed 2 look like Citizen Fucking Kane.

Johnny "Drama" Chase: You're like a chick. I mean the guy cannot have unemotional sex.
Eric Murphy: I didn't have sex.
Johnny "Drama" Chase: Whatever. You can't whack off without weeping.

Johnny "Drama" Chase: Freud says there are no accidents.
Eric Murphy: You guys crossed swords during your threesome. Accident?

Eric Murphy: Sorry about "Four Kings" getting cancelled.
Seth Green: It's all right. Nobody would believe four guys in their thirties would be living together.


"Entourage: The Bat Mitzvah (#2.10)" (2005)
Eric Murphy: He disappeared with Sloan.
Johnny Drama: Probably at the tennis courts. I hear that's where you fuck at the Beverly Hilton.

Eric Murphy: Amazing. Eventually you won't even need actors, right?
James Cameron: In five years we won't.
[Eric's face drops]
James Cameron: Kidding!

[seeing E all dressed up to woo Sloan]
Vincent Chase: Looks like we're headed for another E romance novel. Get your tissues ready, guys.
Turtle: Seriously E, if this one breaks your heart, just kill yourself so we don't have to hear about it.
Johnny Drama: I'll have the Barry Manilow CD ready for you.
Eric Murphy: Fuck you guys.


"Entourage: Entourage (#1.1)" (2004)
Johnny "Drama" Chase: We don't wanna tell you she's a bitch, then two weeks later you get back together and you're mad at us for saying that.
Eric Murphy: It's over.
Johnny "Drama" Chase, Turtle: She's a bitch!

Eric: Could you get laid without Vince? That's the question.
Turtle: Do I give a fuck? That's the answer!

Turtle: [about Kristen] She was in the middle of 40 Deuce with her hand down Vince Vaughn's pants.
Eric: She had her hand down his pants?
Johnny Drama: Both of 'em.
Eric: Vince Vaughn? That puffy motherfucker?
Johnny Drama: No bro, he didn't look puffy at all... He was lookin' real good.
Turtle: Yeah, it was kinda like "Swingers" Vince Vaughn, not "Old School" Vince Vaughn. It's kinda like New School Vince Vaughn.


"Entourage: The Abyss (#2.14)" (2005)
Eric Murphy: Sloan, I'm a college dropout. All right, guys in the mailroom out here have Wharton MBAs.

Eric Murphy: Listen, Vince. It hurts. I know, I've been there, alright? You will get over Mandy. This'll pass.
Vincent Chase: Good.
Eric Murphy: So that's it? Game over?
Vincent Chase: Yeah.
Eric Murphy: I thought we make these decisions together.
Vincent Chase: No, not this one. Please don't try to make me feel guilty about it.
Eric Murphy: I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, alright? I'm just seriously concerned about our future.
Vincent Chase: You don't understand. I feel like I got shot.
Eric Murphy: No, Vince, you don't understand. We may never get an opportunity like this again.
Vincent Chase: Whose future are you really concerned about, E? Ours or yours?
Eric Murphy: Are you fucking serious?
Vincent Chase: Yeah, I am cause I'm not doing this movie, and if you can't understand why, you better think about whether you want to be part of my future.

Vincent Chase: Did you take a job without talking to me?
Eric Murphy: Who told you that?
Vincent Chase: You know, of all people to not get what I'm going through, the heartbreak kid himself. I mean, how many times have I heard you cry like a little pussy over a girl?
Eric Murphy: Not over a girl I barely know.
Vincent Chase: Oh, so it's not real?
Eric Murphy: No, personally Vince, I think it's your ego. Your big fucking movie star ego. You could've had Mandy thrown off this movie, but you had to prove that you could get her back. You can't stand the fact that she left you cause no one ever has, but you know what? I will leave you before you fuck me up.
Vincent Chase: Yeah, leave and do what? Live off your girlfriend instead of me? You ever think that Terrance offered you the job to get to me?
Eric Murphy: Yeah, I did think that, and that's why I told him if I took the job, it meant I'd never work with you again and he still offered it.
Vincent Chase: Don't be here when I get back.
Eric Murphy: Oh, like I fucking would be.


"Entourage: The Script and the Sherpa (#1.5)" (2004)
The Sherpa: The Earth is moving. Did you feel that? Everything. All the time. Dimensions we can't even see. Everything is evolving. Turtle, you're a dove.
Turtle: That's cool. Can I hit that, Sherp? Thanks.
Eric: You afraid of getting busted?
The Sherpa: Busted? I'm entrusted, man. I don't steal. I heal. We're not getting stoned. We're getting honed. My probation officer's one of my best customers. I'm a prisoner. I'm a prisoner of, uh, war. War on drugs. It's all so negative, man. I mean, the Man's most positive positive-tive is a nega-tive. It's a mega-nega-tive. Right?
[shouts]
The Sherpa: Viking Quest! Let them be low. We are getting *high*. We're not getting fucked down. We're getting fuck up.

The Sherpa: [takes a very long drag from a hooka] The earth is moving, did you feel that? Everything all the time. The dimensions we can't even see. Everything is evolving-Turtle, you're a dove.
Turtle: That's cool can I hit that, Sherp? Thanks.
Eric: Aren't you afraid of getting busted?
The Sherpa: Busted? I'm entrusted. I don't steal, I heal. We're not getting stoned, we're getting honed. My probation officer's one of my best customers. I'm a prisoner, I'm a prisoner of war, war on drugs. It's all so negative, man. I mean the man's most positive, positive, -tive is a negative; It's a mega-negative. Right? Viking Quest! Let them be low. We are getting high. We're not getting fucked down, we're getting fucked up.


"Entourage: Play'n with Fire (#5.11)" (2008)
Ari Gold: [to Vincent] Listen, take a deep breath and relax. It's all gonna be fine.
Eric Murphy: How?
Ari Gold: Because the Jew has arrived and he doesn't like Germans.

Eric Murphy: [about Dana Gordon] So what, you really think she's going to let you replace the director?
Ari Gold: After what I did for her, she would let us double penetrate her if I asked her.


"Entourage: Good Morning Saigon (#2.12)" (2005)
Ari Gold: A little memory trick, when they introduce themselves: word association. Like you say "Eric Murphy" I think loser.
Eric Murphy: Like Ari Gold - douchebag?

[in a room with Mandy Moore's agents]
Ari Gold: They're just asking you to get Vince to put this relationship on hold until the movie's over.
Eric Murphy: Ari, the guy's in love, all right? He's not going to put his relationship on hold, but I promise you he will be where he needs to be. You guys do the same thing with Mandy and we'll be fine, okay? You done? Nice meeting you.
[begins walking out]
Barbara Miller: Eric. You don't want to wind up spinning dough at that fucking pizza place again, do you?
Ari Gold: I told her a little bit about you.
[Eric walks over to Barbara]
Eric Murphy: Listen Babs, you don't want to talk to me like that, cause I don't care who you are. Yes, I am Vince's manager, but we've also been best friends since we were 6 years old, and I don't appreciate sitting in a room discussing his personal life with a bunch of fucking strangers.


"Entourage: The Review (#1.2)" (2004)
[talking about their "first times"]
Turtle: Look who's talking, Mr begged-for-pussy-on-prom-night.
Eric: I begged my girlfriend, Turtle. Not a 40 dollar hooker who declined your mother's credit card.

Vincent Chase: E, I decided - we're going with the Benz.
Eric: You sure? I mean you changed your mind ten time already.
Vincent Chase: No I'm set. I had a dream about it last night.
Johnny 'Drama' Chase: I dreamt about it last night too, Vince. We're cruising down Rodeo, suddenly two jerkoffs pull up and say "hey Chase brothers, fuck your mother!" and then open fire.
Eric: That had to be a dream - somebody recognized you?


"Entourage: Return to Queens Blvd (#5.12)" (2008)
Johnny 'Drama' Chase: Ah, the life of an actor - waitin' around for the phone to ring. There's something kinda exciting about it, no?
Eric Murphy, Turtle: No.
Johnny 'Drama' Chase: Pussies.

Vincent Chase: We said when we started this it was going to be about the business, not the friendship. It's time for a change, E.
Eric Murphy: Are you firing me?
Vincent Chase: The business isn't working, is it?
Eric Murphy: Well whatever, I'm not gonna grovel; go find someone better, cause I can live with myself knowing I busted my ass and I gave everything I had to you.
Vincent Chase: No, I know you did, E. But it wasn't enough.
Eric Murphy: Yeah, fuck you.


"Entourage: New York (#1.8)" (2004)
Eric: [about being Vince's manager] You know what, I don't even have health insurance.
Ari Gold: Yeah, but I bet you had it over at Quiznos.
Eric: Sbarro's. And I had a business card.
Ari Gold: There you go.

Kristen: You know what your problem is?
Eric: No, but I have a feeling you do so tell me.
Kristen: You are addicted to Vince.
Eric: Great, more textbook psychobabble. C'mon, let's hear it.
Kristen: When you're around him you feel great, but when you're not you go through withdrawal. And you talk about quitting all the time - classic addiction symptoms.
Eric: So what, this is all my fault, is that what you're saying?
Kristen: No! I think you're both fucked up codependents.


"Entourage: Fantasy Island (#5.1)" (2008)
Ari Gold: What do you mean he's not coming back?
Eric Murphy: You want me to say it in Spanish?


"Entourage: Snow Job (#4.10)" (2007)
Lloyd: [on the phone] Did you get the Billy Walsh script?
Eric Murphy: Lloyd, I can't hear you.
Lloyd: DID. YOU. GET. THE. BILLY. WALSH. SCRIPT?
Ari Gold: SHUT THE FUCK UP, LLOYD!


"Entourage: Dominated (#3.3)" (2006)
Ari Gold: [to Turtle] Hey, moron. He's thirteen.
Johnny Drama: In celeb years it's like 30.
Eric: So what does that make you, Drama. Like 140?
Johnny Drama: So, you're admitting I'm a celeb.


"Entourage: The Return of the King (#3.17)" (2007)
Amanda Daniels: So what, I'm supposed to just show up into temple on the most religious day of the year to discuss business?
Eric Murphy: You're not just showing up, they're expecting you. They're gonna meet you in the alley behind the southern entrance next to the dumpsters.
Amanda Daniels: Should I bring a gun, too?


"Entourage: Oh, Mandy (#2.8)" (2005)
Eric Murphy: Where is Vince, anyway?
Johnny "Drama" Chase: I left him in aisle nine with that MILF.
Turtle: He's probably banging her in the produce section by now.


"Entourage: The End (#8.8)" (2011)
Eric Murphy: [to Ari] Wanna hug it out?


"Entourage: Fire Sale (#5.4)" (2008)
Eric Murphy: [about a script Ari slept on] Now it's Ed Norton's home run, ya jerkoff.
Ari Gold: Well, did they sell the script, ya cunt face?
Eric Murphy: Not yet, dickhead!
Ari Gold: Well then it's still free, ya overpaid undersized bitch!
Eric Murphy: You wanna go, Ari? Seriously, let's just go right here, cause you know what? You've never been hit in the face with anything besides a cock and you know it!


"Entourage: Guys and Doll (#3.4)" (2006)
Eric: [waking up at 5:30 to dial Ari] Enjoy this, motherfucker.
Ari's Wife: [hearing Ari's phone ring] Who died?
Ari Gold: No one yet.
[answers phone]
Ari Gold: What?
Eric: It looks like I woke you up this time, Ari.
Ari Gold: No, but you did wake my wife and kids, dickhead. Vinnie better be sitting in prison with a DUI or something, is he?
Eric: No...
Ari Gold: Then what the fuck do you want, cunt muscle?


"Entourage: One Day in the Valley (#3.2)" (2006)
Eric: [Eric's phone rings at 5 in the morning] Why Ari? Why?
Ari Gold: I'm in bed E, talk dirty to me.
Eric: It's five in the morning, Ari.
Ari Gold: What are you wearing?
Eric: Fuck you!
Ari Gold: I love when you say fuck, say it again.


"Entourage: The Day Fuckers (#4.7)" (2007)
Eric Murphy: I'm not searching out a girl just to fuck her.
Johnny 'Drama' Chase: Why not?
Eric Murphy: Cause it's mean!
Johnny 'Drama' Chase: No no no, mean is when I made Jess Mansini ride her bike home after I assfucked her.


"Entourage: I Wanna Be Sedated (#3.10)" (2006)
Eric Murphy: Remember me?
Ari Gold: One never forgets their first love, E.


"Entourage: What About Bob? (#3.11)" (2006)
Ari Gold: He's protected. We get 'em wet with Vince first I guarantee you they will fuck us. We blow our load with Bob and we might not even get our balls tickled.
Eric: Ari, you know what, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, but you're making me uncomfortable.


"Entourage: Second to Last (#8.7)" (2011)
Sloan: I never figured you for the revenge type, Eric.
Eric Murphy: And I never figured you for the slut.
[Sloan walks away]
Johnny Galecki: Oh, you're fired. Go fuck yourself.


"Entourage: First Class Jerk (#5.8)" (2008)
Ari Gold: [answers phone] Dana Gordon!
Dana Gordon: Ari, I love you and I swear I will rub your cock like it's 1990.
Ari Gold: Whoa whoa whoa, Dana you're on speaker. I got Vince and E here.
Dana Gordon: Jesus Christ.
Vincent Chase, Eric Murphy: Hi, Dana.
Ari Gold: We all wanted to be in the room to celebrate together.
Vincent Chase: Celebrate what?
Ari Gold: Boys, you are talking to the new head of the studio. Madam President, what's your first order of business?
Dana Gordon: 'Smokejumpers', Vince. You're in.
Vincent Chase: You're kidding me.
Ari Gold: And she's gonna pay you your quote.
Dana Gordon: It's the second lead.
Ari Gold: You're gonna pay him his quote or Vincent Chase is going to announce on TMZ that the new head of the studio calls agencies and offers up handjobs.
Dana Gordon: Alright, enough, Ari. Vince, I will take good care of you.
Vincent Chase: Thank you!
Eric Murphy: Thank you, Dana!
Ari Gold: I love you, Dana.
Dana Gordon: I love you too, and for real this time.
Ari Gold: I'll call you later about that tug.


"Entourage: Pie (#5.9)" (2008)
Johnny 'Drama' Chase: [about Jason Patric] You know when he was doing Rush, he stuck real needles in his arm to prep. That's what inspired me to do real coke when I did the Menendez brothers movie.
Eric Murphy: Weren't you an extra on that?


"Entourage: The Scene (#1.7)" (2004)
Eric: [talking to Vincent, after a director does a rewrite on the "Queens Boulevard" script] He's got a guy blowing you on page 26!


"Entourage: Malibooty (#4.3)" (2007)
Eric Murphy: [referring to Medellin] He and I kinda have differing views on the movie.
Ari Gold: Differing how?
Eric Murphy: Well, he likes it.
Ari Gold: He likes it? Vince likes the movie. Then why the fuck are you here?
Eric Murphy: Because he's wrong! Look, I don't know if he's brainwashed or he's scared to not back his director, I don't know but he's wrong.
Ari Gold: Did you talk to him about this?
Eric Murphy: I spoke to him. He hung up on me.
Ari Gold: He hung up on you. Well I'm hanging up on you in person. Let me explain something to you, I have two philosophies: A. My client is always right, and B. His manager is always an overpaid, useless pain in the ass.
Eric Murphy: Yeah, my two philosophies are, one, you're a dick, and two, when you realize I'm right you're gonna know you're a dick.


"Entourage: The Cannes Kids (#4.12)" (2007)
Eric Murphy: Wow, 3 years and a 14 hour flight we finally arrive!


"Entourage: I Love You Too (#2.9)" (2005)
Eric: Hey look this guy has a website that gets 1 million hits a day, he can sink a movie faster than Stephan Dorf.
Shauna: Hey watch it asshole that's my client.


"Entourage: Aquamom (#3.1)" (2006)
Johnny Drama: It's like chummin' for sharks, Vince. You throw enough blood and guts in the water, you're bound to catch a great white.
Eric: Yeah, except there's gonna be fifty girls at the party who all show up thinkin' they're your dates.
Turtle: And what happens when fifty sharks show up lookin' for their goodies, E?
Johnny Drama, Turtle: Feeding frenzy!


"Entourage: Dog Day Afternoon (#3.14)" (2007)
Johnny 'Drama' Chase: In certain cultures it's illegal to look this good.
Eric Murphy: Yeah, you're a regular fucking felony, Drama.


"Entourage: Blue Balls Lagoon (#2.11)" (2005)
Johnny "Drama" Chase: I remember I broke up with Stacy Laruzso a week before Valentine's Day. I got back with her a week after. No chocolates, no roses...
Eric Murphy: No class.