Johnny 'Drama' Chase
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Quotes for
Johnny 'Drama' Chase (Character)
from "Entourage" (2004)

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"Entourage: Talk Show (#1.3)" (2004)
Eric: [to Drama] The only person you ever loved is yourself.
Johnny Drama: What's not to love.

Eric: So, you wanna talk about Kimmel?
Johnny Drama: Jimmy Kimmel?
Eric: Yeah, Vince is doin the show tonight.
Johnny Drama: Fuck Jimmy Kimmel!

Emily: You smoke?
Eric: Cigerettes? Um... yeah. I mean I've been trying to quit... uhm recently.
Emily: How hard are you trying?
Eric: Uhm... not that much.
Emily: Good.
[nods head towards door]
Emily: [they both go out]
Turtle: I thought he quit.
Johnny Drama: Cigerettes, not pussy.

Eric: We had breakup-sex, all right?
Johnny Drama: Breakup-sex? Never heard of it.
Eric: Yeah, I mean... you know... you have sex and... that's it - you say goodbye.
Johnny Drama: [pauses to think] That's the only kinda sex I have.

Turtle: You should get me on a talk show. I'd kill.
Shauna: Maybe I'll get you on Springer. Fat, little horny fucks and the women that despise him.
Johnny Drama: *snickers*
Shauna: What are you laughing at? Maybe I'll get you on Montel with Don Swayze, Joey Travolta and the other retarded star siblings.

"Entourage: Exodus (#2.13)" (2005)
Johnny "Drama" Chase: That's what happens at Gucci. You buy a pair of shoes and they let you fuck your ex-fiance.

Turtle: I'm two cars back. What do you want from me?
Johnny "Drama" Chase: Always keep two-fifths of a block between you and your subject.
Turtle: Oh, what, have you done this before, Drama?
Johnny "Drama" Chase: Too many times, Turtle. Too many times.

Turtle: Nobody ever wants to believe you're being two-timed, Turtle.
Johnny "Drama" Chase: How many times have you been cheated on, Drama?
Turtle: Too many, Turtle. Too many.

Johnny "Drama" Chase: [Brian's Song] The ultimate guy-cry movie.
Turtle: Uh-huh. He cries in front of her, shows her he's sensitive... bang! He moves right in.
Johnny "Drama" Chase: Yeah, his tears will basically act as a lubricant.

"Entourage: The Sundance Kids (#2.7)" (2005)
Johnny "Drama" Chase: In Palm Springs, I had a king-size bed all to myself.
Eric Murphy: Yeah, he tried to bang a bunch of senior citizens, but he was a non-closer.

Johnny "Drama" Chase: On the way here, I was dreaming of hooking up with a nice Mormon girl.
Turtle: So why don't you go after a Mormon, Drama? I mean they're all over the place here. Besides, everyone knows they know how to treat their man right. They're like Catholic girls times one hundred.
Eric Murphy: You think the night before a Mormon wedding a guy says, "How am I gonna sleep with the same eight women for the rest of my life?"

Johnny Drama: On the way here, I was dreaming of hooking up with a nice Mormon girl.
Turtle: So why don't you go after a Mormon, Drama? I mean, they're all over the place here. Besides, everyone knows they know how to treat their man right. They're like Catholic girls times one hundred.
Eric: You think the night before a Mormon wedding a guy says "How am I gonna sleep with the same eight women for the rest of my life?"

Vincent Chase: I hear the slopes out here are insane.
Johnny "Drama" Chase: Give me a break! Anywhere where you can ski in short sleeves is for pussies. I mean, they got no ice out here.
Eric Murphy: Who wants to ski on ice?
Johnny "Drama" Chase: Men, E, men who like speed.
Turtle: I'm with Drama, there's nothing like the possibility of a good head on collision.
Johnny "Drama" Chase: I mean, if you can ski Hunter Mountain, you can ski anywhere!

"Entourage: Strange Days (#3.7)" (2006)
Johnny Drama: Men spoon, women snuggle.

Johnny "Drama" Chase: You're like a chick. I mean the guy cannot have unemotional sex.
Eric Murphy: I didn't have sex.
Johnny "Drama" Chase: Whatever. You can't whack off without weeping.

Johnny "Drama" Chase: Freud says there are no accidents.
Eric Murphy: You guys crossed swords during your threesome. Accident?

Turtle: It could be fun, Vince. Like that time you got auctioned off at the Feed the World event.
Vincent Chase: Jesus, remember that Cuban guy who bought me and wanted me to come live with him in Havana?
Johnny "Drama" Chase: The guy never sent me those Cuban cigars he promised. I should call.
Turtle: Yeah, ask him if he knows any good lefties for the Yanks' bullpen while you're at it.

"Entourage: The Bat Mitzvah (#2.10)" (2005)
Johnny Drama: One day you're lighting up in front of a dozen adults at a Bat Mitzvah, the next your cruisin' down Santa Monica Boulevard offering handjobs for a crack rock.

Johnny Drama: Do you know how much food is gonna be at this thing? You eating now would be like jerking off an hour before fucking a supermodel.
Turtle: If I was fucking a supermodel, I would jerk off. That way I can go all night.

Eric Murphy: He disappeared with Sloan.
Johnny Drama: Probably at the tennis courts. I hear that's where you fuck at the Beverly Hilton.

"Entourage: Three's Company (#3.6)" (2006)
Johnny "Drama" Chase: No woman should ever joke about that.
Turtle: No, they should not. But either way, I am so whacking off to your girlfriend tonight.

Johnny Drama: When opportunity knocks you let her the phuck in and for gawd's sake you let her go down on your girlfriend!

Johnny "Drama" Chase: Sloan and Tori want E to be the meat in their girl-girl sandwich.

"Entourage: Entourage (#1.1)" (2004)
Johnny "Drama" Chase: We don't wanna tell you she's a bitch, then two weeks later you get back together and you're mad at us for saying that.
Eric Murphy: It's over.
Johnny "Drama" Chase, Turtle: She's a bitch!

Turtle: [about Kristen] She was in the middle of 40 Deuce with her hand down Vince Vaughn's pants.
Eric: She had her hand down his pants?
Johnny Drama: Both of 'em.
Eric: Vince Vaughn? That puffy motherfucker?
Johnny Drama: No bro, he didn't look puffy at all... He was lookin' real good.
Turtle: Yeah, it was kinda like "Swingers" Vince Vaughn, not "Old School" Vince Vaughn. It's kinda like New School Vince Vaughn.

Vincent Chase: That's what good actors do, they listen. Right, Johnny?
Johnny "Drama" Chase: [not listening] What?

"Entourage: The Release (#3.8)" (2006)
Johnny "Drama" Chase: You know Eddie burns offered me "Brothers McMullen." True story. But I took a TV show instead.
Turtle: Was that when you did your full-frontal "Red Shoe Diary?"
Johnny "Drama" Chase: No that's when I did my three episode arc on 90210, sexually harassing Tori Spelling.
Turtle: Nice choice.

Johnny "Drama" Chase: I'm officially a loser.
Turtle: I don't know about officially...

Billy Walsh: [seeing the Queens Boulevard poster] Ahhhh these motherfuckers, pieces of shit, I'm gonna fuckin' hit somebody, there's no fuckin' doubt in my mind.
Johnny "Drama" Chase: Little lightly, Billy, life is short.
Billy Walsh: Go fuck your mother, Drama!

"Entourage: Dominated (#3.3)" (2006)
Ari Gold: [to Turtle] Hey, moron. He's thirteen.
Johnny "Drama" Chase: In celeb years it's like 30.
Eric Murphy: So, what's that make you, Drama. Like 140?
Johnny "Drama" Chase: So, you're admitting I'm a celeb.

Ari Gold: [to Turtle] Hey, moron. He's thirteen.
Johnny Drama: In celeb years it's like 30.
Eric: So what does that make you, Drama. Like 140?
Johnny Drama: So, you're admitting I'm a celeb.

"Entourage: Oh, Mandy (#2.8)" (2005)
Eric Murphy: Where is Vince, anyway?
Johnny "Drama" Chase: I left him in aisle nine with that MILF.
Turtle: He's probably banging her in the produce section by now.

Johnny Drama: [a car is driving closely behind Drama's car] What's this guy doing up my ass?
Turtle: You know the expression: never drive angry?
Johnny Drama: And this beady-eyed little jerk-off just sitting on his sidekick again, just goading me.
Johnny Drama: He probably wasn't even talking to anyone.
Johnny Drama: [the car behind Drama's honks] Get off my ass! Go around me!
Turtle: Would you pull over and let me drive?
Johnny Drama: [the car pulls up next to Drama's] Do you really find it necessary to drive up my ass?
driver: Fuck you dude.
Johnny Drama: Dude? Do you believe this guy? Fuck locals. Fuck you townie!

"Entourage: The Boys Are Back in Town (#2.1)" (2005)
Johnny 'Drama' Chase: Vince, you ever go three months without pussy?
Turtle: Vince ain't ever gone three days.
Vincent Chase: No, wait, that's not true. Sophomore year.
Turtle: Really?
Eric: Yeah, but you had mono.

Turtle: All right, you know what? Fuck you and fuck you, all right? That's it, I'm done, I quit.
[walks off]
Johnny 'Drama' Chase: What's he quitting? He gets paid?

"Entourage: Good Morning Saigon (#2.12)" (2005)
Johnny "Drama" Chase: Nobody takes cabs in L.A., Turtle.
Turtle: That's 'cause no one can figure out what color they are... I mean they got blue ones, green ones, red ones, white ones.
Johnny "Drama" Chase: Fuck a city where the cabs aren't monochromatic yellow.

Johnny "Drama" Chase: I'm telling you, once your car's been stolen, it never runs the same again. It's like a guy sleeping with your girl. He leaves his mark all over her.

Entourage (2015)
Turtle: [from trailer] Take me for a round, I last 30 seconds you'll let me take you on a date
Ronda Rousey: Last 60 seconds long...
Turtle: [the bell dings and Ronda charges towards Turtle] Time!, how much time?
Johnny Chase: 3 seconds
[Ronda hits Turtle after 3 seconds]

Ari Gold: I gave you 100 million dollars. You agreed to not go over!
Vincent Chase: Because you said I couldn't direct unless we agreed.
Johnny Chase: It's like when a girl asks if you want to bang her hot sister. Of course you say 'no' but neither of you really believes you mean it, though.
Ari Gold: What is he doing here?

"Entourage: Chinatown (#2.6)" (2005)
Johnny "Drama" Chase: Yeah, I remember my first national commercial.
Eric Murphy: Oh what was that Valtrex?
Johnny "Drama" Chase: Yeah it was, so fucking what? Got me my Fiat, plus I got a blowjob from the makeup girl -put my sores on.

Turtle: All right. Let's get this over with. Where do I take the piss test?
X-Box Girl: The what?
Turtle: The drug test. I drank three bottles of water in the car for this, so could we just get this over with, please?
X-Box Girl: This is X-box, loser... not the Olympics. We don't give drug tests. If we did, we'd be out of business, idiot.
Johnny "Drama" Chase: Sucker!

"Entourage: The Prince's Bride (#3.19)" (2007)
Johnny "Drama" Chase: What if I fly myself out, put myself up, you give me a little something; if I don't deliver, you cut it. Or cut it anyway. As long I'm on the call sheet and listed on IMDb, we're all good.
Brett Ratner: You're telling me you're gonna spend 20 grand to go to Paris for a part that I might end up cutting?
Johnny "Drama" Chase: Such is my passion for movies.

Johnny "Drama" Chase: Tommy's gonna be in Rush Hour 3 and I'm not? Jesus Christ.
Lloyd: Be happy for him, Drama. Karma.
Johnny "Drama" Chase: Fuck Karma. I don't need Karma.
Lloyd: What do you need, Johnny?
Johnny "Drama" Chase: I need to be in Rush Hour 3.

"Entourage: The Review (#1.2)" (2004)
Johnny 'Drama' Chase: What a view.
Vincent Chase: We're at a party with some of the hottest girls in the world, and we're staring at a bunch of fuckin lights.

Johnny 'Drama' Chase: Do you remember, The Orange County Register said I was a functioning retard. Now that was a bad review.
Turtle: I thought that was a compliment.

"Entourage: Date Night (#1.4)" (2004)
Johnny 'Drama' Chase: She gave me the ride of my life. I just hung on to those lats, simmered all control.
Turtle: You know, if I was holdin' onto those lats, I'd think I was fuckin' Evander Holyfield!

Vincent Chase: [Talking about his new movie] I can't watch myself again.
Johnny 'Drama' Chase: I love watching myself.
Eric Murphy: Too bad the audience doesn't.

"Entourage: Blue Balls Lagoon (#2.11)" (2005)
Johnny "Drama" Chase: I remember I broke up with Stacy Laruzso a week before Valentine's Day. I got back with her a week after. No chocolates, no roses...
Eric Murphy: No Class.

Johnny "Drama" Chase: Yeah, Vince. Let's do a Tarantino movie. He could revive me like he did for Travolta.
Turtle: Be more like reviving Freddie "Boom Boom" Washington.

"Entourage: The Script and the Sherpa (#1.5)" (2004)
The Sherpa: Johnny Drama?
Johnny 'Drama' Chase: Yeah, I'm Johnny Drama.
The Sherpa: I'm a fan man. Whens the next season of Viking Quest dude?
Johnny 'Drama' Chase: We got canceled 7 years ago.
The Sherpa: Oh, bummer.

"Entourage: Crash and Burn (#3.5)" (2006)
Johnny Drama: Just like Tiger at Sawgrass!
Eric: More like my six year old niece at Nunley's, Drama.

"Entourage: Vegas Baby, Vegas! (#3.9)" (2006)
Turtle: Wait 'til you see dinner. I got ten of the best strippers in town joining us tonight.
Johnny "Drama" Chase: Strippers, why?
Turtle: Now shouldn't it be "Strippers, how?" and "Thank you?"
Vincent Chase: Thank you.

"Entourage: The Resurrection (#3.18)" (2007)
Johnny "Drama" Chase: You don't know what it's like. And I'm a realist. I knew the show had very little chance. None of 'em do. But I thought I did good on this one. And I tried so hard. And I thought they'd see that, but they didn't.

"Entourage: Guys and Doll (#3.4)" (2006)
Ari Gold: Hey, hey, boys are looking sharp.
Johnny "Drama" Chase: Uh hey, thanks, Ari.
Ari Gold: Actually, I meant the other boys.

"Entourage: One Day in the Valley (#3.2)" (2006)
Aquaman Moviegoer: [getting up from seat] I have to go to the bathroom.
Johnny Drama: [towel draped over his head] Sit down.

"Entourage: Pie (#5.9)" (2008)
Johnny 'Drama' Chase: [preparing Vince for a confrontation with Jason Patric] Remind him he got molested in "Sleepers".

"Entourage: I Love You Too (#2.9)" (2005)
Jesse Jane: Promoting my new comic book, "Pussy Patrol."
Johnny "Drama" Chase: Nice.
Jesse Jane: It's just me and the girls. We lick ass by day and kick ass by night.

"Entourage: Aquamom (#3.1)" (2006)
Johnny Drama: It's like chummin' for sharks, Vince. You throw enough blood and guts in the water, you're bound to catch a great white.
Eric: Yeah, except there's gonna be fifty girls at the party who all show up thinkin' they're your dates.
Turtle: And what happens when fifty sharks show up lookin' for their goodies, E?
Johnny Drama, Turtle: Feeding frenzy!

"Entourage: New York (#1.8)" (2004)
Johnny Drama: [to the producer] You look familiar.
Audition Producer: You auditioned for me a couple of years ago.
Johnny Drama: Oh yeah yeah, how did that go?
Audition Producer: [pauses, doesn't really know what to say] You know...
Johnny Drama: Yeah, you can't book 'em all.