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[Miles is taunting Joel with outrageous personal ads
: "When I was a little girl, my daddy used to spank my bare bottom. Now he's gone. Will you take his place?" Call Misty!
: When it came right down to it, I just wasn't attracted to her. Miles
: That should never stop you.
[Joel Goodson's parents are away for the weekend
: Joel, you wanna know something? Every now and then say, "What the fuck." "What the fuck" gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.
: Say "what the fuck."... If you can't say it, you can't do it.
: I don't believe this! I've got a trig midterm tomorrow, and I'm being chased by Guido the killer pimp.
: Porsche. There is no substitute. Miles
: Fuck you.
: Sometimes you gotta say "What the Fuck", make your move. Joel, every now and then, saying "What the Fuck", brings freedom. Freedom brings opportunity, opportunity makes your future. So your parents are going out of town. You got the place all to yourself. Joel Goodson
: Yeah. Miles
: What the fuck.
: You didn't tell anyone did ya? Miles
: No... Glen knows. Joel Goodson
: What about Barry? Miles
: He knows too. Joel Goodson
: Okay. Just don't tell anyone.
: [Miles tries to comfort Joel after the Porsche incident
] You okay? Do you want an aspirin? Your dad own a gun?
: [to Joel
] What happened? Joel Goodson
: Last night? Miles
: That's right - with Kessler. Joel Goodson
: She was babysitting down the street... Miles
: We know that! Joel Goodson
: So I went over there. It turns out that, uh, she was giving the kid a bath and accidentally hit the shower thing...
[some guy off camera
] Joel Goodson
: right. Miles
: That could happen. Joel Goodson
: ...and all her clothes were drying upstairs. So she plops down right on the kitchen floor and she looks up at me and says 'I think I'm in the mood.' Barry
: She said that? What did you say? Joel Goodson
: I didn't have to say anything. Glenn
: Whatcha do? Joel Goodson
: What do you think I did? Glenn
: I think you got the hell out of there, ran home, and wacked off. Barry
: [makes a wacking off noise with his cheek
: I disagree.
: Did you have your bike there? Joel Goodson
: Yeah. Miles
: I think you jumped on your bike, peddled home, and wacked off!