Calvin Palmer
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Quotes for
Calvin Palmer (Character)
from Barbershop (2002)

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Barbershop (2002)
Calvin: Ray! I told you to stop coming in here soliciting. Are you retarded or something?
Ray-Ray: No.
Calvin: Are you stupid, simple, or slow; which one?

Terri: Who drank my goddamn apple juice?
Calvin: Whoa! Terri, stop cussing. This ain't Def Comedy Jam!

Calvin: You see that? That right there is Oprah's house.

Ray-Ray: [Hustling his goods] DVDs! CDs!
Calvin: Not today, man...
Ray-Ray: Got Cristal, MoÎt! Whatever you want, man!
[DMX impersonation]
Ray-Ray: Got dat new DMX, baby!

Jimmy: Let me tell you somethin'... you will *never* own a Black barbershop!
Isaac: I will if I want to.
Terri: If Tony Roma can make ribs better than Black people, Isaac can own a Black barbershop...
Calvin: Wait a minute..."ribs better than Black people?"
Jimmy: Tony Roma boils his ribs! That is *not* authentic!
Dinka: Tony Roma is delicious! I don't see White or Black... I just see red sauce on everyt'ing!


Barbershop: The Next Cut (2016)
Calvin: [after receiving tragic news] These kids like killing each other! They like that shit! Man, this is the fuckin' Southside. This "cease fire" shit is over!

Calvin: [to Jay] Jay look at me come back in an hour, come back in an hour I'll take care of your Bill.

Calvin: Welcome to Calvin's. If you like it, you pay. If you don't like it, your ass pay anyway.

Calvin: [voice over] This is the town I love, a neighborhood of family and friends. And right here at the heart of it all is where everyone comes together: the barbershop.

Calvin: [voice over] In every neighborhood there's a place folks gets together to talk about their dreams, to share their frustrations, and maybe even tell a joke or two. It's a home away from home, and these aren't just friends, they're family.