Bill Pardy
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Quotes for
Bill Pardy (Character)
from Slither (2006)

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Slither (2006)
Bill Pardy: [from trailer] Don't let them in your mouth!

Bill Pardy: [to Kylie] What's with the spitting?

Bill Pardy: [sighs to himself] My easy-going nature is gettin' sorely fuckin' tested.

Bill Pardy: [after seeing a zombie become a part of Grant] Well, now that is some fucked up shit.

Bill Pardy: Thank you for saving my ass back there.
Kylie Strutemyer: You're welcome.
Bill Pardy: Of course, when I tell that story, it's gonna be the other way around.

Bill Pardy: [In pain] What was that? That really hurt.
Kylie Strutemyer: [Pulls the tubule out of his stomach] You need both of them things in you to get all womby.
Bill Pardy: Oh, that's... awesome!

Kylie Strutemyer: What are we gonna do now?
Bill Pardy: Probably turn into a couple of these fucked-up things.
Kylie Strutemyer: That's kinda negative.
Bill Pardy: Well, it's been that sorta day.

Jack MacReady: [referring to Grant] He's a goddamn Martian?
Bill Pardy: Martians is from Mars, Jack.
Jack MacReady: [through gritted teeth] Or it's a general term meaning 'outer-space fucker'.
Bill Pardy: No it isn't!
Jack MacReady: Look it up, cocksucker!
Starla Grant: Enough!

Grant Grant: I've been around a million years! You think you can fuck with me?
Bill Pardy: Yep.

Bill Pardy: [Looking at the disemboweled dog] I reckon Grant ain't got one of them puppy calendars on his desk. Just don't strike me as a real dog lover is all.
Trevor: Hey!
[holds up the decapitated head of a dog]
Trevor: Look. Knocked this one's head clear on over here.
Wally: Put that down, numbnuts!

Wally: [referring to his crush on Starla] I'm surprised you're able to lift a mug, you've been carrying that torch for so long.
Bill Pardy: Oh, that reminds me. There's something I wanted to tell you.
Wally: What's that?
Bill Pardy: Fuck you, fatass.

Bill Pardy: [holds up a toy squid from his desk] What's this?
Trevor: I thought we could use that like a police sketch, Chief. You know, take it door to door, see if anybody recognizes it.

Bill Pardy: [to fellow cops] Alright folks, let's go.
[Mocking Jack]
Bill Pardy: Don't forget your guns; We don't want any lyme disease popping out at us.
Jack MacReady: [Sarcastic] Oh, ho ho ho. Ha ha, fuckin' ha!

Bill Pardy: Two nights ago, a mare was stolen from this property owned by Fitzgibbon, that rancher with the cleft palate.
Wally: [mutters to Margaret] I know that guy, he looks like a chipmunk.
Bill Pardy: Your momma wasn't too proud when you came out neither, Wally.

Bill Pardy: [Bill, Starla, Jack, and Kylie remain silent in the car after narrowly escaping a pack of zombies] So... how's everybody's evening? Good?

Starla Grant: [Starla & Bill look around at the dead bodies covering Starla's front lawn] Bet you regret not running off to Hollywood with me now, eh, Bill?
Bill Pardy: Ah hell, Starla. I always regretted that.

Bill Pardy: Hey Kylie, why don't you tell Ms. Grant that story 'bout how I saved you from that deer?
Kylie Strutemyer: Oh yeah. Bill saved me from a deer.
Starla Grant: Oh yeah?

Starla Grant: [as Bill goes out where the worms are] Be careful.
Bill Pardy: Yeah, there's a thought.

Jack MacReady: [Jack & Bill are discussing what caused Grant's transformation] It's obvious the bastard's got Lyme disease!
Bill Pardy: What?
Jack MacReady: Lyme disease. You touch some deer feces, and then you... eat a sandwich without washin' your hands. You got your Lyme disease!
Bill Pardy: And that makes you look like a squid?

Trevor: [Bill, Margaret and Trevor spot Grant and Starla getting into a car] That's one match I'll never get.
Margaret: [zipping Gina Kid's jacket up] Ain't no mystery. Starla was raised in them shanties off St. Luke, dirt poor. All she ever wanted was to be a lady. Ol' Grant Grant, he's always been made of green.
Trevor: Gold digger, huh?
Bill Pardy: Oh, hell, Margaret! Starla's mother left her, her daddy's a drunk, she was 17 years old. Ol' Grant pulls up in a big ol' Cadillac, house on the hill, and college tuition? What would you do?
Margaret: [Lifting a handkerchief to Gina Kid's nose] Blow.
Bill Pardy: Hell, if he had a 'gina, you'd'a married him, too.
Gina Kid: What's a 'gina'?
Bill Pardy: [after an awkward pause] It's a country. You know, where 'Ginese' people come from. Learn to eavesdrop better.

Jack MacReady: [panicked] We need to find this Grant, and I mean yesterday. Town council's lit a Roman Candle, stuck it up my ass.
Bill Pardy: Jack, your leisure activities ain't my business.

Jack MacReady: Where is the Mr. Pibb? I told your secretary to pack Mr. Pibb. It's the only Coke I like. Goddamn Brenda exploding like a water balloon, worms driving my friends around like they're goddamn skin-cars, people are spitting acid at me, turning you into cottage cheese, and now there's no fucking goddamn Mr. Pibb?
Bill Pardy: [sarcastic] *Jesus Christ*, Jack, let me get right on it!

Bill Pardy: Shelby, you gonna create a hysteria?
Shelby: [doesn't look up] Not today, Bill.

Bill Pardy: Grant looks like a squid, don't know where he's gonna hide... Seaworld maybe.

Starla Grant: [to a deformed Grant] I'm gonna stay by you... just like I swore I would. For better or worse.
Bill Pardy: [Under his breath] What's fucking worse?