The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
: [from trailer
] Don't let them in your mouth!
: [to Kylie
] What's with the spitting?
: [sighs to himself
] My easy-going nature is gettin' sorely fuckin' tested.
: [after seeing a zombie become a part of Grant
] Well, now that is some fucked up shit.
: Thank you for saving my ass back there. Kylie Strutemyer
: You're welcome. Bill Pardy
: Of course, when I tell that story, it's gonna be the other way around.
: [In pain
] What was that? That really hurt. Kylie Strutemyer
: [Pulls the tubule out of his stomach
] You need both of them things in you to get all womby. Bill Pardy
: Oh, that's... awesome!
: What are we gonna do now? Bill Pardy
: Probably turn into a couple of these fucked-up things. Kylie Strutemyer
: That's kinda negative. Bill Pardy
: Well, it's been that sorta day.
: [referring to Grant
] He's a goddamn Martian? Bill Pardy
: Martians is from Mars, Jack. Jack MacReady
: [through gritted teeth
] Or it's a general term meaning 'outer-space fucker'. Bill Pardy
: No it isn't! Jack MacReady
: Look it up, cocksucker! Starla Grant
: I've been around a million years! You think you can fuck with me? Bill Pardy
: [Looking at the disemboweled dog
] I reckon Grant ain't got one of them puppy calendars on his desk. Just don't strike me as a real dog lover is all. Trevor
[holds up the decapitated head of a dog
: Look. Knocked this one's head clear on over here. Wally
: Put that down, numbnuts!
: [referring to his crush on Starla
] I'm surprised you're able to lift a mug, you've been carrying that torch for so long. Bill Pardy
: Oh, that reminds me. There's something I wanted to tell you. Wally
: What's that? Bill Pardy
: Fuck you, fatass.
: [holds up a toy squid from his desk
] What's this? Trevor
: I thought we could use that like a police sketch, Chief. You know, take it door to door, see if anybody recognizes it.
: [to fellow cops
] Alright folks, let's go.
] Bill Pardy
: Don't forget your guns; We don't want any lyme disease popping out at us. Jack MacReady
] Oh, ho ho ho. Ha ha, fuckin' ha!
: Two nights ago, a mare was stolen from this property owned by Fitzgibbon, that rancher with the cleft palate. Wally
: [mutters to Margaret
] I know that guy, he looks like a chipmunk. Bill Pardy
: Your momma wasn't too proud when you came out neither, Wally.
: [Bill, Starla, Jack, and Kylie remain silent in the car after narrowly escaping a pack of zombies
] So... how's everybody's evening? Good?
: [Starla & Bill look around at the dead bodies covering Starla's front lawn
] Bet you regret not running off to Hollywood with me now, eh, Bill? Bill Pardy
: Ah hell, Starla. I always regretted that.
: Hey Kylie, why don't you tell Ms. Grant that story 'bout how I saved you from that deer? Kylie Strutemyer
: Oh yeah. Bill saved me from a deer. Starla Grant
: Oh yeah?
: [as Bill goes out where the worms are
] Be careful. Bill Pardy
: Yeah, there's a thought.
: [Jack & Bill are discussing what caused Grant's transformation
] It's obvious the bastard's got Lyme disease! Bill Pardy
: What? Jack MacReady
: Lyme disease. You touch some deer feces, and then you... eat a sandwich without washin' your hands. You got your Lyme disease! Bill Pardy
: And that makes you look like a squid?
: [Bill, Margaret and Trevor spot Grant and Starla getting into a car
] That's one match I'll never get. Margaret
: [zipping Gina Kid's jacket up
] Ain't no mystery. Starla was raised in them shanties off St. Luke, dirt poor. All she ever wanted was to be a lady. Ol' Grant Grant, he's always been made of green. Trevor
: Gold digger, huh? Bill Pardy
: Oh, hell, Margaret! Starla's mother left her, her daddy's a drunk, she was 17 years old. Ol' Grant pulls up in a big ol' Cadillac, house on the hill, and college tuition? What would you do? Margaret
: [Lifting a handkerchief to Gina Kid's nose
] Blow. Bill Pardy
: Hell, if he had a 'gina, you'd'a married him, too. Gina Kid
: What's a 'gina'? Bill Pardy
: [after an awkward pause
] It's a country. You know, where 'Ginese' people come from. Learn to eavesdrop better.
] We need to find this Grant, and I mean yesterday. Town council's lit a Roman Candle, stuck it up my ass. Bill Pardy
: Jack, your leisure activities ain't my business.
: Where is the Mr. Pibb? I told your secretary to pack Mr. Pibb. It's the only Coke I like. Goddamn Brenda exploding like a water balloon, worms driving my friends around like they're goddamn skin-cars, people are spitting acid at me, turning you into cottage cheese, and now there's no fucking goddamn Mr. Pibb? Bill Pardy
] *Jesus Christ*, Jack, let me get right on it!
: Shelby, you gonna create a hysteria? Shelby
: [doesn't look up
] Not today, Bill.
: Grant looks like a squid, don't know where he's gonna hide... Seaworld maybe.
: [to a deformed Grant
] I'm gonna stay by you... just like I swore I would. For better or worse. Bill Pardy
: [Under his breath
] What's fucking worse?