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Quotes for
Caroline Mulford (Character)
from Sixteen Candles (1984)

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Sixteen Candles (1984)
The Geek: Damn Mom, I've got my headgear on!
Caroline: [annoyed] Will you wake up?
The Geek: [opens eyes] Where the hell am I?
Caroline: I'll, uh, tell you where you are, if you tell me who you are.
The Geek: I'm Farmer Ted.
Caroline: You're in the parking lot across the street from my church.
The Geek: You own a church?

[Caroline is very drunk]
Caroline: Who's he?
Jake: That's me.
Caroline: Who are you?
Jake: I'm him.
Caroline: Oh, okay.

The Geek: [takes item from Caroline] Thank you.
Caroline: [laughs drunkenly] Now we're both on the pill.
The Geek: What?
[spits it out]
The Geek: You gave me a birth control pill? Do you have any idea what that will do to a guy my age?

Caroline: [while drunk] You're such a poop.

Caroline: [At the dance, about to go to Jake's house] God, I love it when your parents are out of town. I fantasize that I'm your wife, and we're the richest, most popular adults in town. I owe all my great weekends to you.
Caroline: [She pauses, upset that Jake isn't excited] What's your problem?
Jake: What?
Caroline: You've been acting weird all night. Are you screwing around?
Jake: Me? Are you crazy?
Caroline: I don't know, Jake. I'm getting strange signals.
Jake: Well, they're not comin' from me. Everything's fine. Don't have a cow.
Caroline: Okay. Just remember one thing. I can name a hundred guys who'd kill to love me.
Jake: Is that a threat?
Caroline: It's a fact, Jake.